Disclaimer: It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
Things to know: Small spoilers if you don't know what happens in chapter 338.
Transference
The process by which emotions and desires originally associated with one person, such as a parent or sibling, are unconsciously shifted to another person, especially to the analyst (therapist).
Killua grabs animal crackers without even thinking, habit involuntarily taking his body into the routine he's accustomed to when shopping. He barely even consults his mental shopping list anymore, trusting his body to take him where he needs to be while he devotes his attention to keeping Alluka from sneaking snacks.
"No, we aren't getting Sugar Drops," he sighs, deflecting her hand gently away from the basket. Alluka sniffles, using her doe eyes on full power, but her brother's grown immune in the months they've been traveling. What once took a simple look to achieve now takes several days of good behavior and a tear or two. Needless to say her goodies are usually denied.
Alluka crosses her arms and looks away, pouting, but she notices her brother grab the crackers. She's confused (she and Killua usually buy the ones with frosting and sprinkles or the ones coated in sugar when they're on sale) but stays silent.
Maybe they're to replace the Sugar Drops? she thinks, brightening considerably.
Killua still doesn't notice his mistake until they reach the cashier, and even then it almost slips under the radar. It probably would've if the generic crackers didn't look so out of place among the weird, "fancy" food the Zoldyck siblings commonly eat, usually at Alluka's insistence. The girl checking them out—some bored teenager who talks to them like three year olds— even does a slight double take when she sees it among the caramel bananas and Padokian pork.
Killua looks up from counting his money, tensing at the sudden reaction from the cashier (did they buy something weird does she recognize them are Alluka's eyes black—) when his eyes land on the crackers. He freezes, muscles seizing like he's preparing for a punch to the face. His face flickers, pain and anger cycling around his eyes for the brief moment his composer falters.
"Brother—"
And just like that, it's gone, stored behind a wall of blue as Killua grabs the animal crackers and hands them to Alluka. "You didn't have to sneak them. I would've bought these if you wanted to try them."
Alluka makes a face at him (What about the Sugar Drops I wanted?)and looks down at the crummy animal crackers with the same sour look. She cautiously opens the box and withdraws a foxbear, holding it up. It doesn't look much different from the usual animal crackers, just missing the frosting. An experimental sniff. Smells the same too, if not a bit duller. A bite.
Bland! She sticks out her tongue. Really bland! It might as well be cardboard compared to her usual food. There's no way she can finish these!
The two leave the store, Killua taking the majority of the bags as Alluka trails behind. She makes a quick detour to the nearest garbage can to dump the crackers, the dull thump catching her brother's attention. He looks back at his sister with his usual light disappointment (it never holds enough weight to actually make her feel guilty), but there's something sad tinting it this time that intensifies the longer they hold eye contact.
Alluka wonders why her brother seems so sad over some stupid animal crackers.
(They both have the same exact eyes, you know. Open eyes that take in everything and pass nothing through a filler of morals. Blind eyes unable to see the world's cruelty for what it is. Eyes incapable of the harsh judgment Killua sees hardening strangers' eyes, his families' eyes, and even his own in the mirror. Eyes that somehow always overlook his faults and just accept. It's no far those eyes are all that's left.)
"Let's go," Killua mutters.
Alluka jogs after him, pulling a candy bar out of her bag to get rid of that yucky animal cracker taste.
Gon stops sharply, his worn shoes offering no traction on the smooth tile floor. He over shoots the shelves and nearly barrels headfirst into a carefully made pyramid of paper towels before he manages to stop, knocking a display of gloves to the ground in the process. He picks the gloves back up before dashing over, his eyes roam hungrily over the half-empty shelf, darting from one box to another. When he doesn't see them, he pushes the other items out of the way and sticks his head in, sniffing experimentally.
Frosting…salt…. He sneezes, disturbing a fine cloud of crumbs and dust bunnies. Ugh. Dust…cinnamon…bread…stale bread…I don't smell it. Another half-hearted sniff. It's not here!
Gon sighs, deflating slightly as he withdraws from the shelf. Those animal crackers are his favorite! The first time in months he actually goes to the grocery store and they don't have his favorite crackers or chips. Today is just not his day.
They were probably here earlier when Ging came, he sulks, heading for the check out. Three separate reminders and his dad still forgot his animal crackers (and about a dozen other things). Killua never forgets a thing, especially Gon's crackers or his own chocolate snacks.
Er...Killua never forgot a thing.
Ging rarely gets his supplies at a store, and when he does, he swears up and down he doesn't need a list. Anything they need he'll remember. If he forgets it, it probably wasn't important in the first place. In the end, it took him four trips to get most of the stuff they needed. Then he just sent Gon with a list while he took a detour into the pet store next door.
The girl who checks him out—a bored teenager who talks to Gon like he's three— does a slight double take at Gon's odd choice of groceries. Rope, a pencil, plaster, sour cream and onion chips, a frog key chain, mace, paprika…
Why does Ging need half this stuff? he wonders, fishing exact change out of his pocket.
Gon politely thanks her, grabbing his groceries and quickly heading towards the door. He pauses once he's outside, pulling the chocolate out of his bag a looking at it curiously. Gon doesn't even know if he likes these; Killua's the only one that eats them. He's never let Gon have a taste.
You have your stuff and I have mine, he'd say around a mouthful. Gon found himself wiping chocolate spit debris off his checks more than one when Killua had his chocolate. I don't ask for your crackers.
The box seems kinda obnoxious now that Gon gets a look at it, all bright colors and fancy swirly font he can't even read. It's wrapped in the most impenetrable plastic Gon's ever encountered, and he has to chew on it for several minutes just to get a tiny tear to force open. Killua had just been able to use his nails.
He holds one of the chocolates up. It doesn't look much different from the free samples hotels hand out in the lobby despite costing three times as much. An experimental sniff. Smells the same too, if not a tad bit richer. This one has a hint of...caramel? A bite.
Sweet! He sticks out his tongue. Really sweet! He might as well have swallowed sugar. There's no way he can finish these!
"Gon!" Ging's waving him over, impatience lining his body. "Let's go!"
(It's kinda familiar actually. The childish pout, the tension lying underneath the relaxed front, the discomfort in such a mundane place. They both do the same shifty eye thing too, never making eye contact for more than a moment, always hiding something under the surface just far enough to make him burn with curiosity.)
Gon hovers over the garbage, considering, when he catches sight of the nearly full box of animal crackers inside. He sighs and tucks the chocolate in the plastic bag. No use wasting food.
(They both like sweets.)
Gon jogs over, pulling a small, cheap bag of chips out to get rid of that yucky fancy chocolate taste.