Chapter 5
Callen watched Tash sleep for a couple of minutes, just enjoying the sight of her. He remembered the nights when he couldn't sleep, after they were together, when he had just watched her. It was almost as relaxing as sleeping.
"Tash," Callen said softly, as he finally moved to wake her. He gently touched her shoulder. He watched as her eyes fluttered open and Tash smiled at him sleepily. There was a familiar look in her eyes, and he wondered what she was thinking or maybe remembering. But then it disappeared and she looked confused again.
"You fell asleep. Sam and Kensi are back with food," Callen explained.
"Oh," Tash replied and as she sat up, she watched the blanket fall way from her.
X
"You always steal the blanket?" she asked him as she looked at him on the other end of the couch.
"No," he said, smiling at her. One of those smiles she knew was trouble, at least for her.
"So why are you always doing it to me?" she asked, reaching for the blanket they were supposed to be sharing.
"Like what's underneath," he said, as he let his gaze wander over her in a way that made her look down, unsure what she would find. It also made her blush.
X
Tash looked up at him as she felt the blush heat her cheeks. She looked away quickly. Callen didn't ask this time, but he found it hard to hold back a smile. He wasn't sure what she had just remembered, but he had a feeling he knew what it might have been about, given the blush on her cheeks and where they were.
"Come on. Foods getting cold," Callen said. As he walked away he let himself smile. His hope rising a little that she would remember soon.
"Miss Farrow, I would like you to stay here tonight. I will organise another place for you to stay tomorrow. You will be safe here," Hetty said, as they all sat down to eat.
"Okay. The couch seems comfortable enough," Tash said, just before she took a bite of the pasta Sam and Kensi had brought back.
"Just as long as G hasn't taken it first," Sam said. Tash's eyes flew to Sam. But before she could say anything, she registered the taste in her mouth and smiled, happy for another memory, no matter how small. After she finished the bite, she looked at Sam.
"You responsible for this?" Tash asked him, pointing with her fork at the plate in front of her.
"Why?" Sam asked, slightly nervous. He'd never liked answering a question from Tash when he wasn't sure why she was asking it. There was just so much trouble to be had if you weren't careful. It made questioning suspects interesting too. Probably came from her having a combined law/psych degree.
"Well, I just wanted to know who to thank. It is Alfredo's right?" Tash asked.
"How are you planning on thanking the person responsible?" Sam asked, glad to know she remembered.
Tash smiled and leaned over to Sam, who was sitting on one side of her, and kissed him on the cheek. It seemed right, familiar even.
"Thank you," she said.
"Wasn't just me," said Sam, as he looked to her other side, where Callen sat. "G's the one who told me what to get you."
Callen looked at her, waiting, wondering what she would do now.
Tash looked at him and felt butterflies in her stomach. She smiled and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek as well. It was a little longer than it had been for Sam and as she pulled back, Tash caught Callen looking at her and her breath caught in her throat. Tash shook her head slightly and went back to eating.
~O~O~O~O~O~
"You all set?" Callen asked later, as Tash settled down on the couch under the blanket.
"All set," Tash replied, as she rested her head on the pillow and looked over at him.
"Just yell if you need me. I'll be here," Callen said and turned to leave.
"G?" Tash called to him.
"Yeah?" Callen turned back to her.
"Why would we have been sharing a couch?" Tash asked him, frowning slightly.
"There was only one," Callen replied, holding back a smile. He'd been right, at least partially, about what she had remembered earlier. It was the truth, there had been only one couch.
"So why didn't one of us just go home?" Tash asked, wondering what the smile was about. It was mostly in his eyes, though she could see it slightly on his lips.
"Because I didn't have one and you wanted to bug me," Callen said.
"Bug you?" Tash asked, a small smile forming on her face.
"You seemed to know when I was planning on staying and, occasionally you would beat me to the couch. One night, I joined you," Callen replied, keeping it fairly close to the truth, not quite sure if this would be classified as outright reminiscing by Nate.
"Just one night?" Tash asked, remembering her flashback.
"No, not just one," Callen answered softly, then turned and left. There had been quite a few nights where they had shared the couch. Nothing happened, but the temptation was there for both of them. They'd fought it so long, he was surprised Hetty hadn't done something sooner to get them together.
Callen walked over to his desk, to find Hetty sitting in his chair, waiting for him.
"Is Miss Farrow settled for the night, Mr Callen?" Hetty asked.
"For now," Callen replied.
"Good. Tomorrow night, you will take her home with you," Hetty said. "We will set up a monitoring system there to make sure she is safe."
"Why?" Callen asked. Not that he didn't want to take Tash home with him, but he wasn't sure if maybe this was rushing things.
"Why not?" Hetty replied, with a knowing smile. "It has been a long time Mr Callen. Perhaps being home will help her remember."
"But it's not the same place," Callen said. He'd lost count of how many places he had been in since he'd lived with Tash.
"No, but it is with the same person," Hetty replied, standing up and walking away.
~O~O~O~O~O
Tash fell asleep and she dreamed, mostly just flashes, nothing strong enough to be called a memory. Except one.
X
She saw the man behind Callen pull a gun. She looked at Callen, knowing he would understand, as she slowly reached for her gun. She gave a slight nod of her head, something he had taught her to do, and he dropped to the ground, just moments before she fired. As she felt the pain rip through her shoulder, she lost her footing in the sand and fell back against the pillar, an even greater pain ripping through her head. Her final thought being 'better me than him'. Then everything went black. She started to hear voices, drifting through the darkness and fought to come back to them.
"Tash, come on, wake up," she heard Callen say.
"G, you okay?" Now Sam. She felt the pain increase in her shoulder and fought not to let it send her back to oblivion. She needed to wake up.
"I'm fine. Tash, please," Callen said, as she felt him gently tap her cheeks.
Finally she managed to get her eyes open, to see him looking down at her, smiling slightly, but with fear in his eyes.
"About time," Callen said to her. She was struggling, she could feel the darkness pulling her back. There was something she had to say before she let it though.
"Love you," she said softly, just before she lost her grip on reality and the darkness took over again.
X
Tash woke up, her heart racing and a thin film of sweat on her, not quite sure what it was she had remembered. She need to talk to someone. She threw the blanket off and went to look for Callen. He'd said he'd be here. She didn't know how long she'd been asleep for. Tash made her way out to where she remembered his desk to be, but he wasn't there. She ran a hand through her hair, impatiently. Why, when she remembered something so big, did he have to not be there. The little confusing ones, which she didn't want to ask him about, yep, he was there.
"Tash," his voice came from behind and she jumped, startled.
"Can you stomp next time?" Tash said, hand on her chest, as her heart raced underneath.
"What's wrong?" Callen asked, concerned. She wasn't usually startled so easily. In fact, it was near impossible to creep up on her, even when trying and he certainly hadn't been trying.
"Dream, I need ... Did I kill someone? At the pier?" Tash asked, frowning in confusion.
"Yes," Callen replied truthfully. She'd obviously remembered the shooting. At least some of it.
"Who? Why?" Tash asked. She needed to understand, needed to make things clearer.
"One of Carl Trippin's men had been sent to kill us both. You got in first," Callen said.
Tash looked at him. So the dream was true. But she still didn't understand how he knew.
"How did you know what to do? How did you know to drop?" Tash asked, frowning, trying to make sense of all this.
"Because I know you," Callen said, reaching out to place his hand on her cheek. "Because I know you," he repeated softly, enjoying the feel of her skin beneath his fingers. Callen watched as her eyes drifted closed.
X
She looked at the coffin and felt the tears fall down her face. Her best friend was gone. She hadn't told anyone why she needed time off. Hetty would probably know, but she hadn't been able to bring herself to say the words that would make it so final. As her best friend's father stepped up to the microphone, she felt someone sit down beside her. She didn't look to see who it was. It didn't matter. Whoever it was, was here for Emily. She felt an arm slip around her shoulders; a familiar, safe arm and she turned to see him looking at her.
"Why are you here?" she asked softly, not really believing what she was seeing.
"Because you need me," he said.
"How do you know what I need?" she asked, tears falling from her eyes.
"Because I know you," he said gently, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
X
"I know you can do this Tash, come on," he said.
"No," she said.
"Yes you can," he said.
"Why do you think I can?" she asked.
"Because I know you," he said.
X
"What are you doing here?" she said as she slowly lowered her gun, her heart racing at having discovered someone in her apartment when she arrived home.
"Waiting for you," he said.
"I could've killed you, you idiot," she said, mad at him for scaring her like that.
"You wouldn't," he said.
"Yeah? How do you know that?" she asked, a sarcastic tone to her voice, suggesting perhaps the thought had crossed her mind before now.
"Because I know you," he said.
X
"You want this as much as I do," he said, slipping his hands into her hair, holding her head still as he came closer.
"How do you know?" she whispered. Though with words, she had tried to deny it for so long, her body had told both of them a very different story.
"Because I know you," he said. She smiled up at him.
"Yes, you do," she said, as she slipped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer and kissed him.
X
Tash looked at Callen and felt faint. So many memories. Callen reached out and pulled her to him, as she started to sway. She looked like she was about to faint. Callen held her tight, whilst her head slowly stopped spinning, letting her go only when she pulled away.
"What were we?" Tash asked, as she stepped back and looked at him. Confusion clouding her eyes.
"You need to tell me that," Callen said, wishing he could just tell her everything and start their lives again.
"It's so confusing," Tash said as she started to pace. "Who was this Carl Trippin? Can you tell me that?"
Callen thought for a moment. He probably should talk to Nate but he felt she needed something.
"How about we go sit? Then we'll talk," Callen said, nodding to where the desks were. Tash went and sat in the one next to his.
"You were undercover, gaining the trust of Carl Trippin to get inside his organisation," Callen started.
"Undercover? As in spy?" Tash asked. Well, at least I think I can be sure that I was one of the good guys.
"Close enough," Callen replied. "We were meeting that day to pull you out. You thought it was a normal intel swap. We weren't sure if you'd been compromised, so we felt it safer to bring you in, but someone followed you," Callen said.
"The man I killed," Tash said.
"Yes," Callen confirmed.
"What happened to me?" Tash asked. She knew what had happened in her dream, but she needed to know for sure.
"You took a bullet to the shoulder," Callen said and watched her hand move to where the scar would be, "and when you fell and crashed back against the pillar, you took a nasty blow to the head. You lost all your memories."
Tash frowned. "I think I remember you. At the hospital. Were you there when I woke up?" she asked.
"All of us were, but you didn't remember us. Every time we came back, you were scared of us," Callen added. Tash could hear the pain in his voice.
"Why would I be scared of you?" Tash asked. She'd felt nothing but safe with him, and the rest of them, since meeting them again today.
"We don't know," Callen said. No one had been able to explain why she was so scared of them in particular. She'd been fine with the doctors and nurses.
"But you kept coming," Tash said softly. They all had, and she remembered how hard it had been to remember anything during that time, even what had happened earlier that day.
"For two months," Callen replied, "Then you were gone. Your uncle took you home."
"You didn't come after me?" Tash asked.
"Wanted to. But you were still scared. We thought it would be better to let you come back to us, when you were ready," Callen said.
Tash rested her elbows on the table and put her head in her hands. She was so tired, physically and mentally.
"Any chance another blow to the head would fix it?" Tash asked when she eventually looked over at Callen.
"You think we haven't thought about that?" Callen asked with a grin, trying to get her to smile.
"Anyone in particular interested in volunteering?" Tash asked.
"Not for that," Callen said. Tash raised her eyebrows and frowned at him, wondering what he meant.
"None of us want to hurt you Tash. None of us will, but we will help you remember. At least as much as Nate will let us," Callen said.
"Nate's just a big softy, you know I can get around him," Tash said. She frowned "Where did that come from?"
"You had a way with Nate. It was interesting to watch," Callen said remembering how she had ducked out of some of her sessions with the psychologist which left Nate either shaking his head, or not having even realised she had given him the slip yet again. It wasn't like she did it all the time, just occasionally. Callen learnt a thing or two from her which had come in handy.