Chapter 15
Nate was surprised as Callen stepped into his office and closed the door the next morning. Callen rarely visited his office voluntarily.
"Callen, what can I do for you?"
"It's Tash. We have to be able to do more Nate. She's hurting," Callen said. Of course, this would be about Tash. Nate shouldn't be surprised about that.
"I know it's frustrating for her," Nate replied. Callen shook his head at Nate's words.
"Not frustrating Nate. It's hurting her. Can't you see it?" Callen repeated. "She needs to know, she needs it to happen faster. Before she falls apart." The last few days had been too much. Callen could see it in her eyes. The tiredness, the pain that was so frequent. She was getting more frustrated too, and he didn't want to see her lose it anymore than she already had with him.
Nate looked at Callen carefully. "Who needs this Callen, you or Tash?" At the look on Callen's face, Nate added, "Never mind. Fine. Push her more, but only work. Let the personal side come in it's own time. The more she remembers work, the more likely the personal will come, as it's connected anyway." Nate was reluctant to give Callen the green light to push Tash at a personal level after the session he had with her where she had remembered her father's death.
"Fine." Callen turned and walked out, a smile on his face as a plan formed in his mind.
He walked back to the bullpen and asked Sam, "Where's Tash?"
"Behind you," Tash answered before Sam did. Callen turned and looked at her.
"Time for you to learn how to earn your keep. Do you remember how to use your gun?"
Tash looked at Callen and swallowed nervously.
"Assume I don't." She knew that she did from her memories, but she couldn't remember the process or details.
"Let's go." Callen turned and walked away, expecting her to follow. She did.
"Where?" Tash asked. Things had been so different between them since he'd found her in Nate's office. Yesterday had been hard and she'd broken down again with him at the cemetery. She was losing it too often around him and she didn't want to keep it up. She just didn't know how to stop it when he was the only one she felt safe enough to let her guard down.
"Practice Room." Callen turned to look at her whilst they walked. "You don't think I'm going to let you out on the streets to practice do you?"
Tash didn't reply, just walked beside him quietly.
"You can't hurt anything, Tash. I'm just going to show you what to do, and if you want to try, you can," Callen reassured her.
"Okay," Tash agreed quietly. Callen opened the door to the practice room and she followed him in.
Callen turned to her and held out a gun. Tash looked at him. "Are you sure you want to do this? What if I'm a bad shot?"
Callen smiled at her confidently. "You're not."
Tash tentatively took the gun and Callen showed her how to hold it; how to take the safety off; how to aim. Just the basics this time. He stepped away and set up the target before he turned back to her. "Go for it. See what you can do."
Tash shook her head and handed the gun back to him.
"Show me first."
Callen took the gun back and fired off some shots. He handed it back and brought the target up so she could see it.
Tash looked at the accuracy of his shots and then at him. "Hope you aren't expecting me to beat that."
"Not today, but sometimes you do," Callen replied.
Tash raised her eyebrows. "Really?"
"Really." Callen smiled at her and set up a new target.
"Okay, let see what I can do." Tash took a deep breath, stepped up and took aim. She fired a couple of shots, not very good ones. She stopped and took another deep breath. Callen stepped up close to her, very close, and she felt his breath on her ear as he spoke softly.
"I'll let you drive for a week if you can hit the right eye."
X
"I'll let you drive for a week if you can hit the right eye," Callen said softly, his breath leaving a trail down her neck. "Help you with your paperwork, left eye. The heart, I'll take you dancing," he finished.
She turned to look at him standing so close to her.
"Dancing, paperwork or driving? Those my only choices?"
Callen caught her gaze and she didn't think she would have been able to look away, even if she'd wanted to. Her breath caught slightly at his answer. "This time."
She managed to turn away and face the target. "Stay away from my ear G. That would be cheating."
"Just bending the rules, I don't cheat," Callen whispered, still by her ear, as she fired off her shots. She turned and looked at him with a triumphant smile.
"This should make for an interesting week." She put the safety on the gun and brought the target up close for him to inspect. Callen smiled as he looked from the target, with three very accurate shots, back to her."I didn't agree to all of them."
She raised her eyebrows and grinned.
"You didn't say that. Just if I hit them you would." She put the gun down and walked away. "Dancing Saturday, G. Just so I don't have to work in the morning." She was sure she heard him chuckle as she closed the door behind her.
X
Tash aimed and pulled the trigger before he said any more. She only pulled it once and handed the gun back to him.
"Saturday." Tash walked out the door before he could respond.
Callen pulled the target up to check it. He smiled as he saw where she had hit. The heart. Dancing it is. She had remembered.
Tash walked to Hetty's desk. What had she done? Given how nervous she was being around him she couldn't believe her actions just now. She knew exactly what she had done and her heart raced at the thought. She was going dancing with Callen. Well, that was if he agreed to it. He hadn't actually said anything, she'd just remembered what he'd said once before. At that moment when she had remembered, she felt a desperation come over her to know what it had between them. Perhaps it was because she needed to remember something that could be good. She wanted something good, something fun. At least she hoped it would be.
Hetty looked up from her paperwork to see a rather flustered Tash standing at her desk. "Yes Miss Farrow?"
"I need a dress," Tash said, nervously.
"For?" Hetty raised her eyebrows at the question.
"Dancing," Tash responded whilst she silently begged Hetty not to ask the next question.
"With?" That one. Tash was about to answer when she heard his voice.
"Me," Callen said from behind them. Tash turned around and blushed. She wasn't quite sure why and it made her wonder what had actually happened when they had gone dancing. She wanted to turn away but she couldn't pull her eyes from his gaze.
"Any particular kind?" Hetty asked Callen.
"Whatever the lady wants." Callen didn't take his eyes of Tash as he answered Hetty's question. Then he turned and walked away, leaving them to it.
Tash finally turned around to look at Hetty.
"I have no idea," Tash added, with a slight shake of her head.
"Never mind my dear, I'll find something appropriate. When for?" Hetty tried not to show her pleasure at this turn of events. If Callen was taking Tash dancing, something must have happened.
"Saturday," Tasha admitted.
Hetty nodded and smiled at Tash. "I'll arrange it."
"Thanks." Tash turned and walked away, with no idea how she was going to face Callen later.
Later that day, Tash was listening to the conversation around her as the team discussed the latest case and Kensi's and Callen's respective theories on who the murderer was. Tash felt her eyes drift closed, so she stood up to go and get some coffee.
"Come on Kensi. Trust me, it was the wife," Callen said.
Tash reached for the table as she felt the world start to fade a little, just one of the signs that she was learning had to do with a memory coming back.
X
"Tash trust me, it was Sargent Bates," Callen said, leaning against his desk.
"You have no proof." She sat back on hers after a quick glance around to see if Hetty was nearby.
"Not yet, but I know it was him," Callen replied. "Call it a gut feeling."
She shook her head. "Not Bates, but Caldwell." So far that was where the evidence, even if it was slim, was pointing.
"Care to make a bet?" Callen asked.
"That won't be necessary," Hetty said from behind them.
Callen turned around, surprised. She quickly jumped down off the desk. Seriously, for an undercover operative she had lousy skills when it came to knowing where Hetty was. The only thing that gave her comfort was that everyone else had trouble too.
Hetty nodded to Callen. "Mr Callen is correct. It was Sargent Bates."
"How do you know Hetty?" she asked.
"Lab results have just arrived. You have your proof Mr Callen. Go get him," Hetty replied and walked away, after glancing at her in a gentle silent reprimand for sitting on the desk.
Callen turned and grabbed his jacket and keys. She did the same.
He smiled at her. "See Tash, told you to trust me."
X
"Trust me," Callen said, as the car they were following sped up well past the speed limit.
"Do I have a choice?" she asked, as she reached to hold on, feeling the car speed up as Callen put his foot down.
X
He moved his head close to her ear and whispered, "You'll be fine Tash, trust me." Then he moved back to her lips and kissed her.
X
"Trust me, Miss Farrow. If you were not worthy of being here, I would not have picked you," Hetty said.
X
"Trust us Tash, we've got your back." Sam reassured her through her ear piece. She took a deep breath before putting her hand on the door. This assignment was so pushing the boundaries of what she felt comfortable with.
"You better," she whispered, hearing the chuckle of her two team mates at her words.
X
"Trust me Tash," Callen said, looking her in the eyes and smiling.
X
There were more, so many more. The same words, the same reassuring look, just different places, different jobs. The memories just kept coming. Tash heard someone call her name, felt someone's arms hold her, but they just kept coming, like a flood. Sometimes the full memories, sometimes just the words. How many times had he said that to her?
X
"So G, the new guy. He any good?" she asked.
"He's good," Callen replied.
"You better be right. You know it wasn't fair to pick without me," she said.
"You were off sick," Callen said.
"So?" she replied.
"Trust me, he is the one you would have picked too," Callen said.
X
"Trust me, you're going to be fine. Just keep your eyes closed," Callen said, as he cleaned up the blood from the cut above her eye.
"I'm not stupid G, of course my eyes are closed," she replied.
X
He was above her, kissing her neck, she could barely think straight. He moved away from her neck and looked her in the eyes. She saw the same desire there as she was feeling.
"I won't hurt you. Trust me," Callen said softly.
"I know. I always do," she whispered as her gaze locked with his. Her eyes fluttered closed and a soft moan escaped her lips as she felt his body finally slip into hers. Then his lips caught hers in a kiss that took her breath away.
X
"Tash!" Callen tapped her cheeks trying to get her to respond. "Tash wake up."
Her eyes finally opened and she looked up at him. She was on the floor in his arms and he looked worried.
"What happened?" Callen looked down at her, relieved that she was awake.
"Memories, so many," Tash said softly.
"You wouldn't wake up," Sam complained. Tash turned to see that he was right there too. She heard the worry in Sam's voice.
She took at deep breath and let it out slowly as she tried to calm her uneven breathing.
"I'm sorry," Tash apologised.
"What did you remember?" Callen asked. He'd been so worried. The way she had slumped in his arms reminded him of the day she had been shot. That, as well as not being able to get her to respond.
Tash looked back to him and felt the blush start to rise on her cheeks. She tried to sit up, turning her head away from Callen as she did. He helped her. It gave her time.
"Just little things. Lots though," Tash admitted. It was mostly the truth.
"Is everything all right here?" Hetty looked at the scene in front of her, concerned.
"Now," answered Sam. "Tash went and passed out on us."
"Miss Farrow?" Hetty asked. Tash shook her head.
"I didn't pass out. Just a few more memories than I'm used to. I'm fine," Tash assured Hetty, though she didn't try and stand up yet.
"Perhaps you should rest for a little while until Mr Callen is ready to take you home," Hetty suggested.
"Sounds good." At least then she could think about everything without him being there watching her.
Callen stood up and held out his hand to her, so did Sam. Tash put one hand in each and they pulled her up. She had a feeling they had done this before and it was comforting, and it confirmed one of her memories. Callen walked her to the break room and made sure she was settled before he said anything more.
"Tash," Callen spoke, getting her attention as she finally looked at him.
Callen watched her face closely as he spoke. "I don't believe you."
Tash frowned. "About?"
"Just little things," Callen quoted. She blushed and Callen smiled. He was right. He didn't know what she had remembered, but he was sure it was something big, and something about them, given the way she had avoided looking at him. Just like she had about the poker game.
"I'll come get you when we're done," Callen said as he left her alone.