Angel Beats! エンジェルビーツ!

Our Beats Incarnate

Book I: The Station

Chapter 2: Tenshi and Train Journeys

In the end, Yuzuru had made it to his examinations with mere moments to spare. Naturally Igarashi had spent the rest of the day ribbing him out about it, and then when Yuzuru had mentioned the girl he'd met at the station the torment had really intensified.

"You're really starting to lose it, Otonashi." His friend had teased between deep inhalations of his boxed lunch. Yuzuru sometimes wondered if he even took the time to chew, "On top of these strange nightmares you always tell me about, you're now stopping strangers in the street to quiz them on their musical preference."

Yuzuru rolled his eyes with disdain. He'd already pointed out exactly why he'd felt compelled to stop the girl. And then waxed on for half an hour about how strikingly similar she was to the girl from his dreams. Of course, he'd also outlined the differences and Igarashi had been quick to seize upon them and write the whole thing off as coincidence.

"After all…" a large chunk of a ball of rice was ripped off and vanished unceremoniously from existence with a slobbering gulp, "How many people are there in this city that match that description?"

It was a fairly compelling argument, Yuzuru had to admit. But that did little to quell the mixture of emotions which told him otherwise.

"And then to flunk your exams because you can't shift her from your mind…" chopsticks were jabbed aggressively in his direction to emphasise the point, "You're a lost cause, buddy."

"I don't know that I actually failed yet." He gritted his teeth, "I'm just saying that it was a distraction."

"Whatever. No way you passed it, doofus."

With an exasperated sigh, Yuzuru collapsed into his chair, "Thank you for that vote of confidence…"

His friend just chuckled, placing his empty lunch box on the table and fishing out a napkin to wipe his face, "So. Ready for the rest of your exams?"

Yuzuru shook his head, "As ready as I'll ever be. I'm not back here until Wednesday, so that gives me a free study day tomorrow. But my head's already swimming with so much nonsense I think I'd be better off taking it easy."

"No chance of you overdoing it, huh?" Igarashi teased.

Yuzuru protested with a deep frown, "Hey, lay off. We can't all get Firsts, you know."

Igarashi couldn't stifle the loud scoff that rose within him, "Nope. Some of us actually work for it."

"Alright, alright." Yuzuru held up both hands in mock surrender, happy to concede at that point, "Geeze, you're starting to sound like Hatsune."

"Little sister still pushing you around?" Igarashi leaned forwards, propping up his elbows on the table and resting his chin on the back of his hands, "Good to know I'm not the only one urging you to pull your finger out."

"Yeah. Whatever, man." Yuzuru rolled his eyes, rising to his feet, "I don't have to stay here to be abused. I've places to be."

Igarashi watched as his friend shouldered his backpack, pushing the chair under the table and out of the way. He raised an eyebrow, "Hunting for more dream-girls?"

Yuzuru winked and offered an overly enthusiastic thumbs-up, "You know it!"

Igarashi chuckled with amusement, "Give Hatsune my regards."

"Not a chance."

Igarashi returned the earlier thumbs up and wink. Yuzuru just shook his head, turning and walking away, leaving the food court with a grin.

He still had an awful lot to think about on the train home.

-o-O-o-

Tuesday came and Tuesday went with all the unfortunate tedium that a vacant weekday usually engendered. The weather had been truly abysmal, confining and condemning Yuzuru to indoor activities. And, at the moment, that essentially meant all that he could do was study some more. A relaxing walk in the park, a trip down to the arcade to blow some loose change, or even just stepping outside for some revitalising fresh air had been entirely out of the question.

Unless he was willing to make a swim for it. But it really didn't seem to be worth the trouble.

Wednesday morning, though, had started off with all the unexpected warmth and glory of a midsummer's day. It was incredibly irritating, the way the fates seemed to conspire against him like that. All of his free time lately seemed to be brimmed with bad weather, apparently sent especially, just to prevent him from enjoying himself. The fact that the days of his exams had both been uncompromisingly bright and sunny was just their way of adding insult to injury.

Thankfully the morning commute was proving far more subdued than it had been at the start of the week. For some reason there were fewer people around, or maybe people just weren't in as much of a rush? At any rate, Yuzuru had managed to get up on time, so he could afford to take his time to the station.

He was trying to focus his mind on the coming trials of the day, but the closer he got to the station the more he found his mind wandering to other things. The dream had come to him the night before, as vivid and as intrusive as ever. The fates really must hate him if they wouldn't even allow him one night of good solid sleep.

But when he'd awoken - as was the now time-honoured tradition - in the grips of a cold uncomfortable sweat, another image had come to his mind; the startlingly familiar girl from the beginning of the week, leaning casually against the wall, humming that unmistakably familiar tune without a care in the world. And then the moment when she'd turned around to look at him, her golden eyes meeting his and widening in surprise and question, forcing his breath to catch in his throat. Every fibre of his being told him that she and the girl in his dreams were somehow linked. And yet, that one teeny tiny little voice of rationality buried deep down in the recesses of his mind which would not stop trying to write it off as a coincidence.

The closer he got to the railway terminus the more anxious he began to feel. He knew it was entirely ridiculous, but he couldn't help but hope that she'd be there again.

When he rounded that final corner, though, there was nobody there. The spot where he'd met her on the Monday was completely empty.

With a sigh, Yuzuru continued on his way.

-o-O-o-

Even the train seemed to be unusually quiet compared to the normal clamour of rush hour, and for once Yuzuru didn't have to compete with a dozen other people in order to find a seat. It was by no means deserted, but the little cramped train still had one or two vacant seats when it finally departed the station.

Yuzuru had somehow managed to get a table seat. He even managed to monopolise the chair beside him in addition to his own, giving him somewhere to place his back that wouldn't eventually lead to a pair of dead legs or have it vanish beneath the seat. The number of books he'd managed to cram into the limited space was truly spectacular, each one there so that he could revise and try to cram ever more incomprehensible facts into his already overloaded mind.

With a sigh he pulled on the zip and opened up the bag, withdrawing a heavily creased book strewn from cover to cover with little protruding page markers. The pages carried with them the distinct scent of highlighter pen. It was only a short journey to his destination, but any additional little piece of information he could scour from the text could well prove invaluable in his exams – provided he could force it to stick in his mind long enough to be of use. And it beat sitting there and letting his mind wander and worry.

He was vaguely aware of his surroundings as he settled into his textbook, the slight clamour of conversation drowned out for a moment as the train's engine began to power up, starting with a lurch that made everybody in the carriage sway. Conversations soon began anew as the train gathered speed and the noise settled down from a loud motorised roar to the slowly increasing clicks of the wheels upon the rails.

Yuzuru blotted out the background goings on as he became ever more engrossed in his book. So much so that when a shadow came to settle over him it didn't register at all until he came to the end of his current paragraph.

He looked up, the sunlight shining through the windows on the far side of the carriage partially silhouetting the figure standing over him. His first thought was that the conductor had stopped by to check his ticket. But as he noticed the light filtering through that unmistakable silvery hair his eyes began to adjust to the contrast, and he could make out the features of her face.

Those eyes… Those striking golden eyes…

"May I sit down?" she asked him so quietly that at first he thought he'd imagined it. But the gentle blush of shy uncertainty which filled her cheeks told him that it wasn't all in his head.

"Erm… Sure." He gestured to the seat opposite, inviting her to join him.

She sat down quietly, slipping the strap of her shoulder and setting her bag on the chair beside her, his eyes watching her closely all the while. When she was settled she looked back at him. He took a moment to close his book, returning it carefully to his bag. When he was done she spoke up again.

"I tried to follow you the other day." She spoke after a few moments thick with uncertain silence. Yuzuru wasn't entirely sure how to respond – it was a very, very strange way to strike up a conversation. So, he said the first thing that came into his mind.

"You did?"

"Yes." She nodded slowly, looking down at her lap, fidgeting her fingers. She was acting surprisingly shy, "But the train pulled out of the station before I could get on."

"Oh." Another momentary pause rushed in to fill the silence, "Why were you trying to follow me?"

She looked uncertain for a moment, but he could see a resolute determination fill her eyes. Reaching over to the chair next to her, she opened her bag and seemed to delve deeply into it. Yuzuru heard the contents shift against one another as she searched, and he couldn't help but wonder exactly how much stuff she kept in there.

After less than a minute, though, she pulled her hands out. She was holding a small piece of folded paper, tattered and creased. Unfolding it with a level of care usually seen in people handling fine glass antiques, she leaned across the table, extending the paper towards him for his inspection.

Yuzuru raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued, and he leaned forwards to take it from her. He straightened the creases out of it with the same degree of care she'd demonstrated, noting the elegant handwriting on it and rotating the paper so it was readable.

You may be crying, you may be lonely,
But that's perfect - that's what human is.
The tears you shed say,
Thank you for giving life to us - beautiful, honest, and real.

Yuzuru could hardly believe what he was reading. "This… This is…"

Even as he read over it again, he could hear the tune being hummed in his head. The lyrics, the melody; they were a perfect fit, exactly as he remembered them. And then he realised, the melody wasn't actually in his head – the girl was softly humming it again.

Yuzuru looked up. He watched her closely as the melody danced across her lips, her gaze directed out of the window into space, not clearly looking at anything. She was lost in thought.

"My Song…" Yuzuru whispered, inspecting the note one more time in case the words had somehow rearranged themselves.

She blinked a couple of times, returning from whatever distant world she'd been in after a moment or two. Her eyes fell upon him again, filled with curious intent, "I have questions."

"About what?" He folded the piece of paper back up and placed it on the table between them.

She seemed a little uncertain at first, but she eventually managed to put words to her thoughts, "How you knew this song."

All sorts of thoughts flew through Yuzuru's mind in that moment – the truth, a lie, or a denial. To say that he'd heard it in a dream sounded mad, even to his own mind. He couldn't begin to imagine how such a statement would sound to her. But then, it was the truth – the only truth – and no matter how crazy it seemed or how uncertain he was of her reaction, sharing that truth was going to be the only way he'd ever get to the bottom of this. "Oh, well, that's kinda funny…"

But she continued, seemingly distant and at a whisper, "And why you seem so familiar…"

That definitely took Yuzuru aback, "You… recognise me?"

She nodded slowly, "Yes. You remind me of somebody I saw in a dream."

"In a dream…" maybe the idea wouldn't seem so crazy to her after all, unless they were both raving lunatics, "Can you describe it for me?"

As she began to speak familiar visions began to drift up from Yuzuru's memory, taking him back to the vivid "reality" of that strange recurring dream, "I'm standing beside a beautiful waterfall staircase, just before sunset, wrapped up tightly in the arms of the boy I love."

"Kanade." he pulled her tightly into his arms, holding her as close as he possibly could. She wrapped her own arms around him, returning the embrace, "I love you. Let's stay together forever."

"I am happy," there was a fathomless sadness in her tone, "but he is very sad. He knows that I'm about to leave…"

"Let's stay together forever and ever, okay?" he pleaded softly, barely daring to hope that it was even possible

"Please don't pass on, Kanade." Yuzuru begged her, desperately, unwilling to let her go.

"I hate to leave, but I have no choice." Half-remembered regrets ran through her mind, "I have to thank him, for everything he's ever done for me. For everything I owe to him."

"Thank you for loving me." She went on, as if it were the greatest gift in the world. As if nothing in all of existence could have made her happier in that one moment.

"He gave me his heart so that I could go on living. He gave me his love so that I would know my life had been worth living." A soft sigh escaped her lips, and a distant expression worked across her delicate features, "He was everything I had ever needed him to be."

"Truly and deeply…" she whispered with absolute certitude.

"In a way, we both know I am saying goodbye. It hurts us both," there was a moment of pause in which she fell into contemplation, allowing herself a moment to reign in the sensations she remembered so brightly, "but in the end I am so happy. I am truly at peace with myself in that one moment."

"Thank you," she closed her eyes for the final time, nothing left but the most earnest gratitude of a deepest wish fulfilled, "For giving my life to me."

"And then we part."

The finality was palpable, unmistakable.

Silence descended upon them both, like a thick emotional blanket. It took Yuzuru a moment to dispel the lingering sensations that the dream always provoked, and it took all of his willpower to supress his emotions to the point where his mind would function clearly.

Looking across at the girl, she had her eyes closed, her breath deep and calming. He couldn't help but notice the dampness around her eyes, and neither could he escape the solitary tear that fell free to trace its way softly down her cheek.

She was feeling it, as much as he was.

"I love you Kanade" his own sorrow-filled voice lingered at the forefront of his memory.

He realised then, with all that was going on inside him, all the conflicting and overwhelming emotions, that he didn't even know this girl's name. She still seemed to be fighting against whatever she was feeling, and when she opened her eyes once more he was sure – if only for the briefest of moments – that he could see the deepest depths of her soul through those glistening golden eyes.

"You name…" he barely managed to speak, sure that the answer in his heart was the truth, but needing to hear it all the same, "What is your name?"

She looked at him in silence, the longest of moments almost stretching into eternity. But that eternity passed, and a moment of epiphany was left in its wake. He was sure, in a way that he couldn't quite understand, that he knew exactly what she was going to say. Hope began to realise within him.

"Tachibana Kanade… Are you…"

"Kanade…" he repeated her name before she'd even finished speaking it. His eyes almost blurred, and his heart began to race in his chest, on the verge of leaving him compromised.

"Yuzuru."

The whole situation seemed incredibly surreal, and he considered the possibility that he was actually dreaming some new, impossible reality. "How did you know?" he wondered aloud, How did we both know?

Kanade placed a hand over her heart, fist clenched lightly as if trying to hold in her emotions, "It's just a feeling I-"

She was cut off by the loud squeal of the train's brakes fully engaging, pulling them to a stop with an unceremonious jolt. The sound of the doors at either end of the carriage opening was ignored by both of them. They hesitated, neither of them rising at first.

"Well, I've got to go…" Yuzuru reluctantly admitted, reaching to pick up his bag and rising to his feet. She rose too, though he noted silently that she was more than a head shorter than he was. "Will I see you again?"

Kanade pulled the bag of her strap back onto her shoulder, stepping out into the main aisle. Yuzuru fell into step behind her as they made their way to the exit, "Perhaps." She nodded without turning to face him, "There's a lot to think about."

When the pair disembarked from the train she seemed to waver for a moment, looking around at the wider station before them. Yuzuru took the opportunity to step around her, turning so that he could face her directly.

"I'm going that way." He pointed towards the main entrance on the far side of the concourse. He had a near full day of exams to look forward to. Oh, how that thrilled him.

"I need to catch another train." Kanade admitted timidly.

Yuzuru rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "Well, then… I guess I'll see you later?"

"Yes." Kanade nodded with an ever so slight smile, "See you."

Mirroring the smile, Yuzuru turned and set off towards the exit. He had to force his way through the influx of people entering the station, but just before he reached the doors he paused and turned, seeing if Kanade was still around. He saw her approaching a train – the same train, he noted with curiosity – and climb aboard without so much as looking back.

He was confused for a moment. The only way that train went after this station was back the way it had come. Did that mean…?

"Wait…" he put words to his thoughts, "Did she catch that train just to talk to me?"

The impatient toot of the train's horn signalled that it was ready to depart. But Yuzuru's thoughts took him elsewhere, manifesting as a barely noticeable smile on his lips, full of warmth and optimism. He realised in that moment, somehow, that he would see Kanade again. He didn't know how or why, but he knew inside that it would happen. Very soon.

"Kanade…" her name played almost silently upon his lips, Angel.

His smile intensified as he left the station.

-o-O-o-

Chapter 2: Tenshi and Train Journeys