XVIIIThe Thorn In My Side

Kruger

Why can't he just be rid of it? The gnawing, agonizing pain of a monster at the end of its leash? Why can't she just let him go? Why must she hold onto him in this way? Why can't he control himself? He needs to gain back control, but he knows it is pointless to try; he is in chains, and only she has the key to his heart.

It had to be her.

I wasn't sure, but I had a hunch.

And for that reason, I had to drug her. She couldn't see me like this. Rather, I couldn't let my men see me like this.

I was never one to get caught up in my emotions, ever. I never showed my vulnerable side, especially not around women, and my crewmen knew that. But something about her, something about this girl, made insane. I despised the way she made me feel, so protective and cautious. I despised the way I was around her. She was so distracting. I can't keep my mind off her when she's here, but when she's in front of me, I want her gone.

But here she was again, unconscious in my arms. There isn't anything I can do to be rid of her, not now, when she had stowed herself upon my ship. On purpose. What was I to do now? I suppose I could just open the hanger and let her tumble through space… The ludicrous thought flared up and sizzled out rather hastily. I had risked my job and my life for this girl. I was not about to let her turn into an ice cube on account that I had not been fully repaid. She still owed me one after I had delivered her.

"Boss?"

Crowe approached me and the limp girl in my arms. He nodded at her then looked at me with a wolfish grin. "You first, or shall I?"

I shot a fiery glare at my deputy. He shrunk in stature immediately. "Back the fuck off, Crowe…" I growled slowly, putting on my threatening-but-apologetic face. Crowe understood not to fuck with me and backed off.

Returning my gaze to her, I lowered the girl I was sure was her onto the bench seats. She looked so peaceful, just like before, only so much more different. Her face and hair had changed, and she looked younger than before. Maybe it was a tertiary sense, or maybe it was intuition, but there was something about her that I recognized instantly.

"Kruga!"

Drake yelped at me, tugging my fatigues. "Why'd you do that fuckin' thing for?" He leaned down to inspect the sleeping girl. "She said she had a way off this stupid rock! Why'd you drug her then, you perv?"

"I have my own ways off the moon, bokke, and if you'd like to come along, I suggest you shut your mouth!"

He went silent, thankfully, and curled up beside the girl. What his affection to her was, I'd never understand. Probably some boyish crush, like the kind of thing a young man experiences when he lives a normal life. I admired Drake for hanging on to his innocence, even after what he had seen of this life.

I stalked over to my pilots. I told them to ring up our comrades from Los Angeles and tell them of our situation. "And don't you take no for an answer. Any of them complain, you tell 'em I'll personally rip their spines out their assholes before I take their balls to their captain!"

"Hahaha! Yes, boss!" Crowe hooted enthusiastically. Abbott, as always, remained stone faced. I really will kill him myself if he doesn't get himself killed first, I thought to myself. And I would take pride in it.

"I want to be out of hea in ten minutes. If you can't do that, the door's thea. I'd suggest a coat too, it's a little brisk."

I took a reading of the Raven's coordinates and sent them to the LA base. In a matter of seconds, Crowe motioned me over to him. He held out the radio. "It's for you."

When I turned on the communicator, I heard a loud exclamation over the intercom. "What the fuck, Kruger? You crazy bastard! What the fuck are you doing on the moon, jackass?" I strode across the cockpit to answer the bewildered Lieutenant Brooks, a friend, but more of a pain in the ass.

"Mr. Brooks," I droned, mocking his Southern drawl, "it seems you got my coordinates?"

?"

"Yeah! What the fuck are you doing on the moon, son?"

"We had a little malfunction in the cockpit…" I glanced at Abbott, who had averted his eyes. "The problem will be dealt with when we get to Earth, I promise you that." I lowered my voice a little. "Why the fuck did you send this guy over anyways? He's a useless cunt. Doesn't even fuckin' say anything."

I heard Brooks take a deep breath. "I honestly thought, if anyone could loosen that boy up, it'd be you, Kruger…" I took his comment as a compliment.

"So what do we do now? Continue our little chat while the sun sets? Maybe you could see us on the moon, then, eh? Git the fuck up hea, man! It's fuckin' freezing!"

The radio crackled and filled with static after I heard a solid, "yes sir". Left in silence and waiting on the promise of an I.O.U., the boys and I stared at each other blankly. I sat down beside the girl, shoving her limp feet aside. "Drakey! Fetch us a beer, will you?"

"Can I have one?" he asked hopefully. I deliberated for a moment. What kind of example would I be setting if I didn't let him have one?

"Fine."

With a chipper step, he tossed out three cans to each crew member and stole one for himself. I watched him carefully tap the top of the can before slowly pulling the tab back. I, meanwhile, had already downed half the can, foam and all. A small puddle dribbled down onto the girl's leg, and she awoke with a start.

I felt myself go rigid with unease. I wasn't sure how this situation would go over now. She would still hate me, and she would want to get away from me as soon as possible. Should I ask her all the things running through my head? Should I say nothing and make them rot? Fucking discombobulating girl…

"What the…" she started hazily, waking up gradually. "What the… fuck? What the fuck!" She was awake now, and was angry enough to viciously punch my bicep. Fortunately, she hit a plate of bio-armour, and cradled her hand in response to the bite of metal. She was fuming, and boy, did she look dangerous. "What the fuck?" She demanded again, glaring at me hotly.

"What the fuck?" I asked sarcastically, wanting to toy with her. She looked about to strangle me, and looked able to do it, too. "We're getting picked up, soon. Best conserve your energy for finding your way on Earth."

"No, I mean what the fuck? You drugged me? You sick bastard! Why did I even come back here…?" She trailed off, almost sadly. I cocked my head to look at her from below. Her head was bowed deeply in her hands, and her eyes were shut tightly. "Alright… That's good. But I'd still like to know what you did to me, you filthy—"

"Check yourself then. Ain't nobody gonna touch you with little Drakey around, eh welpie? He's like a fuckin' watchdog, that one. On guard for the innocent, eh?" Drake looked over at us, and smiled proudly. I turned back to the skeptical girl. "You're fine."

Needing to know for herself, she shifted around, feeling for any pelvic discomfort. When she screwed up her face in confusion, I knew she was pondering what had gone on during her blackout. "Thanks, Drakey," she mumbled half-heartedly. I shot a wink at Drake and a kissy face, who upon receiving it, reddened like a tomato. He curled up beside the girl and laid his head on her lap like a son and his mother. The scene was touching, but I couldn't help but feel a fleeting sense of jealousy as she stroked his hair. "You know," she began, looking down at the boy, "he may be a little brutish, but I think deep down he's just a scared little kid…" She deliberated for a moment before turning her attention to me. "How'd he end up with you, anyway? Recruiting at the age of nine now, are they?" she sneered.

"Long story," I stated promptly. "He came to me, really. Willingly."

"That makes two of us…"

I felt the need to say something comforting, but nothing came to mind. So I just said, "I'll get you to Earth, away from Elysium, but you have to tell me one thing."

She looked at me questioningly, but cautiously.

"Is it you, princess?"

She looked down, almost embarrassed. There was no avoiding me on this issue, and she knew it. A slight nod of her head sent a fresh jolt through my body.

It was her.

But it wasn't. She had changed, not just physically, but psychologically. She wasn't the scared, snappish girl that she had been when I first encountered her. Since then, the events of the last week had changed her, made her not just into someone else, but something else entirely. The way she stared no longer held the pure poison of spite. Instead, her eyes were hardened like stone, almost no emotion leaking through.

I felt the need to look at her. My hand reached out to her chin, and before I touched her, she flinched and turned towards me. She looked offended, so I snatched my hand back. It was a strange reflex that never usually happened to me, save for that time I decided to tango with a mamba back home. It was if I was worried she would strike like the snake did. I knew she was the same; she could kill me if she wanted to. But for now, she just looked at me with sullen blue eyes. "When do your guys get here?" she asked quietly, trying not to wake the sleeping Drake.

"Few minutes now. Shouldn't be long," I mumbled, feeling genuinely nervous. "They're a bunch of jackasses, though. Wouldn't put it past 'em to be deliberately late…" Protea looked down again, nodding in understanding.

"I just want to get off this fucking rock…" She perked up. "Do we have enough oxygen in here? Like, enough for the five of us?"

"I don't fuckin' know. We haven't died yet, so I think we're fine, princess."

She went to retort, but froze and pursed her lips. Then she looked thoughtful. I swear I saw a smile cross her lips. My eyes couldn't help but linger there for a moment, even after she caught me looking.

"Well at least we'll be on Earth soon," Protea muttered sheepishly, her eyes flickering up and down.

"Yeah… At least…"

Abbott approached me with a guarded look, his hand raised slightly before him. I looked at him with my best 'fuck off' look, but he didn't quite get the message. "What the fuck is it?"

"Sir," the fuckup began slowly, "Lieutenant Brooks is inbound. He should be here momentarily." I mused, pouting my lip. I decided to give him a bit of a break, considering I would give him an actual break later.

"Thanks." He looked foolishly hopeful. "Now fuck off." He dipped his head and scuttled away with a more than audible curse. Ignoring him, I turned to Protea. "You good with Drakey, thea?" I asked, motioning towards Drake, who had woken up at the sound of his name.

"Yeah, we're alright," she smirked down at the boy, who glanced up then down with rosy cheeks. She leaned infinitesimally closer to me. "Honestly, he reminds me of my brother before…" When her voice faltered, I knew to leave her be.

"Alright, just keep him quiet when Brooks gits hea. Brooks ain't the kind of man to appreciate stow-aways. You stay quiet too." I thought hard for a moment. If we had to board their ship to leave, I'd have to come up an excuse for Protea and Drake. Prisoners? Mother and son. It was a gamble, but if there was one thing I was good at, it was gambling. "If anyone asks, you're mother and son—"

Immediately a caterwaul arose from the two of them, both protesting the idea, claiming each hated the other and that there was no resemblance whatsoever. I snapped at them to shut up, distraught enough already. They quieted, but now glared at me insolently. What are we, a fuckin' family or something? The thought sent a stomach-vaulting feeling through me. Eeugh…

My radio crackled, then began to beep. I walked over to the cockpit and answered. "Brooks? Whea the fuck are ya?"

"Circling overhead now, Kruger. Deploying kitten's claws." At that, I heard the familiar squeal of Brooks' ship, the Panther, halt just above the Raven. I heard its specialized carrier clamps lock on the Raven's wings. If he fucks up my paint-job I swear I'll rip his spine out through his asshole… I smiled at how often I used this threat. I rather liked it. Had a nice ring to it.

"It's about time, bokke. Now git us home."

"Yes, sir. See you soon. Brooks, out."

Communication cut and we began to move. I felt the craft rise in the air, and stumbled a little with a smile on my face. In all honesty, I couldn't wait to get off the fucking moon. I grasped the overhead bars and stared off out the hanger window, ignoring the stare from Protea.

When we got to Earth, what would she do? Where would she go? She had contacts, she could go to them. But would they take her? Would I have to force my hand? All these questions had hounded me since I figured it was her. One question that haunted me most of all was what I would do without her. Part of me knew I couldn't cope with another separation; I felt too attached to let her walk out of my life again. I couldn't cry again.

Space passed by loftily and quickly, Earth came into view. I saw my home continent turn away from me just as the sun peaked over the spherical edge of the globe. I was momentarily blinded but stared on. Anything to avoid her gaze.

As if guided by invisible strings, she staggered over to me carefully, grasping the same bar as mine and stared out the window with me. She didn't say anything, but I felt her gaze on me. I didn't want to look at her, and yet I did. Reluctantly, I glanced sidelong at her. Damn, was the only thing I could think, for more reasons than one. I saw her pretend to look away nonchalantly, but return her blue gaze again.

"What?" I snapped at her, feeling like a trapped animal more and more each minute.

"Nothing…"

"Good."

Total silence.

"Good…"

Suddenly, the craft began to shudder. We were entering Earth's atmosphere. We would likely land back at the Americans' base. I never liked living in one place for very long, as I preferred to never stay long enough to leave a mark. I had homes, or whatever you called a series of provisional apartments, all over the world. But none of them were ever as fun as LA is, or used to be. Strip and night clubs on every corner, taverns, a back door to the black market; it was my type of paradise. A heathen like me favored the filthy over the frivolous. After all, the filthy have more fun.

As I was lost in thought, the craft shuddered again, making me stagger a foot backwards to balance myself. Protea had not been so lucky to catch herself, as she fell right into me, square against my chest. She stared up at me. Her eyes were like saucers, scared and uneasy. I couldn't help but naturally reach a hand out to steady her, while still keeping myself steady. She stiffened at my touch, but remained where she was pressed against my chest. Her face softened. She looked around my face, eyes flicking back and forth, up and down. Her jaw was slack, her mouth open slightly. I glanced down at her lips, wanting more than anything to lean forward and take them up in my own. Her eyes lingered on my lips, too, as she blinked slowly at them. The tension built feverishly, and I felt myself begin to pant ever so lightly. I knew what she wanted from me, then. She knew I wanted it, too. Protea's eyes closed in anticipation for that electric moment of contact. I almost did lean into her, ready to release my passion in a single kiss, but a winded exclamation from Drake stopped me cold.

"Whoo! Gotta love that turbulence, eh?"

I hadn't realized that a mere moment had passed. It had seemed like an eternity, the steady friction and lingering eyes. Protea sensed my disappointment but straightened out regardless, steadying her own feet before grasping the bar with both hands. She studied the ground in front of her, as if trying to wipe her memory of the intense moment. I reluctantly looked away, over to the pilots. Crowe was chatting idly about how much he'd like to take a couple days off before heading to India: hit the strip clubs, get blind drunk and start over again. Abbott looked gloomy as hell, knowing full well he was about to be relieved with a little extra pepper, because his boss loved him so much. I wouldn't mind enjoying the Los Angeles to its full extent myself. Maybe I would just relieve my good pilot for a few days before heading to India. I gave Crowe a nod when he glanced over at me as he described me being a hard-ass. He grinned widely and began making plans of debauchery with Abbott.

I glanced over at Drakey, who had just exclaimed that we were close to the ground. I wondered what I would do with him, as well. He couldn't stay here, but I knew he wouldn't leave, either. Maybe we could put a couple of years on him the next time we were at a Medbay. I knew Brooks had one. He had kissed enough ass on Elysium that his commanding officers there had simply given him one for himself and his crew. Lucky bastard, I thought, he should owe me more than a lift for saving his ass all those years ago…

Even as I made tentative plans for my crew and I, Protea still remained unpredicted.

I guess she would answer my questions when we landed and that hanger door opened.