182. We are the Titans part 3

I couldn't sleep.

My body felt hot, despite it being the coldest month since I joined the Titans.

And when I feel hot, I can't sleep.

I sighed.

I stared up at the black ceiling of my room.

The lanterns were out, and yet with my naked eyes it felt like there was moonlight all around me.

I exhaled softly, my hot arms behind my hot head.

Maybe I should start using the sleeping mask thingy again.

It always did make the world……darker……

But I didn't really want to sleep.

And yet, I didn't really want to be awake.

I stared at the shadows of the room in hopes that they'd mercifully swallow me up and treat me to a happy oblivion.

But none such happened.

Groaning, I sat up in my bed clothes.

The air felt stuffy.

Thick.

Taunting.

"………"

I slowly stood up.

I cracked my neck…my fleshly knuckles.

I hadn't taken my left prosthetic off that night.

I shuffled across the room to Myrkblade's mantle.

I gently fingered the polished, wooden hilt.

The freezing touch of it.

I exhaled.

Somehow……I could do with some 'cold'.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

It was already cooler by the time I entered the lower hallways of the Tower.

I walked down the dark, metal corridors alone.

Shuffling feet echoing against the dull floors and walls.

I was dressed in my combat fatigues. My camouflaged jacket. My black tank-top underneath. My tan pants. The tall black boots where they were tucked in. Myrkblade over my shoulder. Red bandanna. Black shades. The long hair. The old scar.

And the new…

"………," I stared at the floor as I went.

I heard noises…voices as I proceeded down the hallway.

I craned my ear.

I came to the doors to Cyborg's laboratory. They were open…as he seldom left them at times.

Late that night—under the dim glow of computer consoles—Cyborg was slaving away at something. A system diagnostics of sorts. He had his arm braced inside half of an elastic tube. He clenched his teeth, and as a mechanical device whirred and glowed, he struggled to morph his arm into the traditional sonic cannon. But even as the joints started to move and the insides of his translucent titanium skin started to spark and glow bright blue, everything failed. He contorted and strained and tried harder and harder. But the computer consoles buzzed. And the lights flashed red and died. And with a growl, Cyborg yanked his arm out and batted the mechanism away.

CLANK!!

"Dammit!! GOD DAMMIT!!!! Why can't I frickin' WORK?!?!" he pulled at hair he didn't have and groaned in frustration.

I winced.

I shuffled my feet and slowly moved along.

I heard his irate voice meandering down the corridor behind me.

"You're better than this!! Come on!! You piece of shit!! No damn missile's gonna maim your circuitry for life!! WORK, God DAMMIT!!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Outside, it was freezing.

Mist from the waves crashing against the rocky bluffs clung to my skin.

I shivered on the inside, but didn't show it. I was used to cold, wet weather. And the wind as well like a Pacific squall. Sometimes, we are awkwardly blessed by the places we were born at.

As I made my cold way under starlight towards the land ridge connecting towards the City, I glanced left.

And far off atop the rock bluffs overlooking the sea, I swore I saw a feminine figure sitting. Her silhouette meditated in a cross-legged stature of painful tranquility. Her robe's hood danced in the breeze.

From that far off, I couldn't tell if she had her eyes closed or if the raven was crying.

I didn't find out.

I turned, and walked towards the City.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I was in stealth mode.

Cloaked.

It was past curfew in the still-recovering City.

And though surely the police forces and guards would have recognized me as a Titan, I didn't want to cause any trouble.

So I felt it best to walk across the City as a ghost.

Much of the rubble had been picked up. They were sent to gathering places where more and more volunteers heaped piles of rubble together and readied the debris for massive relocation to freshly erected dump sites outside the City limits. Word had it that the Dayton Chemical works and its surrounding field—forced closed after Viper's and Killer Moth's attack—had become such a site. Ever so gradually, the City was looking cleaner.

Ripped and charred asphalt was being replaced. Skyscraper windows were refitted. The repairs bloomed outward from the Downtown area and into the surrounding apartments and then towards opposite poles—treating the highway near Phaser Labs as well as Bayside Plaza. Finally the sarcophagus of the Radioactive Depository was cleared while the City Park was revitalized and the Shipyards were made nearly new again.

The side effect was a constant business of volunteers and city officials and construction workers running and rushing every which way at night under the aide of floodlamps and other modes of artificial illumination.

And it was through this soup of nocturnal activity that I invisibly tread.

I gazed at the men and women in their hurried work. They had a pace about them that was like unto a hurried exasperation, rather than the paranoid anxiety of the tragic days just following August Fourth. Most of the violence and destruction had taken place within the streets. Only a few buildings completely collapsed. Most of the structural damage were shopfronts and building faces. Although a building or two in the shopping district burned to the ground.

By that time easily, all of the dead bodies had been cleared away. There were very little sites to truly excavate. And—in turn—there were very few survivors left to be found. The missing was still tolled at eighty-seven people at that point. The grimness of it all grew across the midnight diggers' faces like vines.

I passed on through the thick crowds. Under the bright lights. Beyond the bulk of the work and the toil and the desperation.

It grew darker on my side of the City. But I pressed on. I reached a line of buildingtops. A very familiar line of buildingtops. I blurred up over the structures, reached the rooftops, took off my stealth mode, and comfortably hopped from building to building until I reached a two-story shop next door to a burnt site.

I flipped over into the adjacent alleyway.

I found a rusted fire escape.

I knelt there, crouched low like an assassin in waiting. I took my black shades off. I peered in through a dimly lit window on a rear door of the first level. I narrowed my naked lids.

Renee and Daniel were up. They seemed to be in the middle of rummaging through the back stockroom of the pawn shop. Perhaps just as restless as I was. Daniel's arm hung beneath him in a cast as he bent over and looked around various inventory. At some point he gave up, leaning back, wincing. Renee wandered over towards him and touched the extremity of his arm in concern. He said something with a nod and simpered. Renee looked up at him. A pause. The two slowly…softly hugged each other, and gently rocked in some mute rhythm.

"……….." I smiled. Then I sighed. Slowly, I turned around, and blurred over to a higher set of buildings two blocks down. I headed towards the center of the City. Ascending the buildingtops higher and higher and higher.

I finally ended up on the highest summit in the urban dwelling place. The recently reconstructed spire of Kobayashi Tower. I perched on the side of the fresh steel and peered out across the darkened building tops. It was freezing cold up there, and the wind beat against my face and hair mercilessly in the night.

I slipped my shades back on. I took a deep, freezing breath. I found a level spot on the top of Kobayashi Tower and sat down. Resting my hands on my knees. Calm…despite the fervent urge to shiver. I stared south. Towards Titan's Tower. It seemed especially bright those days, with most of the other lights in the City being switched off so soon after November Fourth. Steel arms stretched outward—glowing—to embrace a hushed sprawl of urban ghosts.

I took a deep breath. I hugged my legs to my body. I leaned my chin down on my knees. I breathed gently.

And a strange warmth….

"………….."

……………

"Hehehe."

"Oops! It's time!"

"And the last slice of pizza goes to………"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"…………Noir!!!" Cyborg pointed.

Beast Boy sat up, clapping. "Wooohooo!!! Yay, nooby!!"

"Yes!!" Starfire cooed, cupping her hands joyously to her face. "Woo to the hoo!"

Raven rolled her eyes. She slid the open box of pizza across the table till it rested before me. "Here you go. Welcome to the team."

I blushed. I nodded and mouthed 'thanks'.

We were all seated on the second story balcony of the diner in the City's Downtown. It was late in the afternoon. A golden sunset filtered down on us through the wispy cloud cover of a spring day.

"Titan tradition!!!" Beast Boy smiled wide. He and Cyborg crowded around me. "You gotta take the last piece!"

I simpered. I reached out with my left hand and took it by the crust. For the last piece, it was still warm to the skin. I lifted ceremoniously, gave everyone a shaded glance, and helplessly bit in……………only to be agonized by the undeniable flood of tofu.

I shuddered all over and tried my best not to show it.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Cyborg leaned back, his eyes shut as he laughed. "Never fails!!"

"Hehehehehehe!!!!"

"The elusive 'give the new member Beast Boy's uneaten slice'," Raven droned, fingering the pages of a book in her own universe across the table. "Soooooooo original."

"Hehehehehehe!! Ain't it though??" Beast Boy winked. He looked at me. "No hard feelings, right—DUDE!!"

I had just finished scarfing down the last of the slice. I swallowed the crust, sipped it down with some Dr. Pepper, and winked victoriously at the two pranksters.

"Wow……it's almost like he enjoyed it!" Cyborg blinked.

"Is this what you would call……backing of the fire?" Starfire smiled.

"Ohhhhhh my burning ego……," Beast Boy feigned death. "Well, I guess if you like tofu stuff that much, we'll share the same pizza from now on when we come here!"

I sweatdropped. I managed a nervous smile.

"THE CEREMONY IS OVERRRRRR!!!" Cyborg dramatically uttered in an opera-ish voice. "Now all that's left is boring training to ass-kick."

I nodded.

"Can't wait to see you with that killer sword of yours. You don't actually plan on SLICING APART the thugs we fight in battle, right?" Beast Boy winked playfully. "A giant robotic likeness of Cinderblock is one thing. But the Titans aren't so kosher about killing actual human beings. Hehehehe……ain't that right, Robin?"

The Boy Wonder chuckled some. He leaned forward into view, his crossed arms resting on the table. "Batman always taught me that a true superhero will value life above all else, unless bleak circumstances call for no other alternative."

The changeling blinked. "So……"

"That means NO KILLING," Robin glared.

"Hehehehe!" Starfire giggled.

"Quoth the Robin, nevermore."

Raven raised an eyebrow.

"Don't mind Robin, nooby," Beast Boy winked. "One thing about working with this team is you learn how anal a former sidekick from Gotham can be. Rest assured, we have all gotten quite close to Robin's anus."

"Ha ha ha ha ha!!!"

"Beast Boy, that was uncalled for……"

"Dude! Robin! I'm being figurative!"

"Allright then. How'd you like it if my foot got close to your anus……figuratively???"

"Ha ha ha ha!!" Cyborg pounded the table. "Man, this is too rich." He looked at Raven. "You recordin' this in that bejeweled forehead of yours?"

"Get a life."

"Pfft! Whatever, miss creepy……"

"Now that the mainly course has been so ritually consumed……," Starfire lifted a joyous finger, "……we must now embark upon a serving of Terran dessert!!" She leaned her head cutely to the side and smiled at me. "Tell us……what is your favorite ice of the cream, Narf??"

I mouthed: 'Noir'.

"I think it's important that we take a moment aside to talk more about the way we'll be handling things with our newcomer here……," Robin raised a green glove. "If you don't mind."

There was a resounding moan from half the table.

"Duuuuude……can't we talk strat later?"

"Yeah, Robbie. Dessert is a necessity. And I want to be the first to see nooby here toss his cookies after gorging!!" he patted me on the shoulder. "After all, I talked you into staying with us. I should be owed the courtesy, right dawg?"

I looked at him with a strange smile and shrugged.

The Titans were……very strange up close.

It felt strange to realize that I was now one of them……

"This is serious, Cyborg, and you know it," Robin said. He was rather content in expression and pose as he laid back and gestured: "The amazing thing about Noir is that he's hardly made an appearance in this City. The press doesn't know about him. And neither do any of the supervillains. As is may seem……you've got quite the uncanny ability to be quick and evasive, Noir."

"Yeah……," Beast Boy nodded. "The dude can do his fart-to-invisibility thingy. Gotta come in handy in the girl's lockerroom!"

I shook my head.

"Boys……," Raven hissed.

"Raven has always been capable of teleportation and morphing through walls," Starfire said. She blinked Robin's way. "It is due time we be blessed with powers of invisibility!"

"Right……and I think we should use Noir's anonymity and stealth to the utmost advantage," said the Boy Wonder. "In other words……he won't be making any dramatic entrances anytime soon. He'll be like the ghost in the rafters. The secret weapon."

"Dude……," Beast Boy's eyes narrowed. "What's the point of being a Titan if you can't—like—burst in through the door of a hideout with the rest of us and suddenly go 'BANZAI!!!' like every kid in the nation dreams of?"

"Well, he's mute for one thing," Cyborg elbowed him.

"Ow!"

I snickered breathily.

Robin looked at me thoughtfully for a moment before saying: "Though I seriously doubt public opinion is of any concern to Noir……"

"………"

Robin smiled at the rest of the Titans: "……he'll undoubtedly get his chance to shine someday. Just—for right now—he's more important to us as an ace up the sleeve."

"Ace up the sleeve?" Cyborg's human eye narrowed.

Robin nodded with a smirk. "A wildcard."

"Ohhhhhhhh……like in the game 'ooh' of the 'know'!" Starfire smiled.

"………," Raven flipped a page.

"More or less," Robin scratched the back of his neck. "Basically, when there's trouble……and we're called in……Noir stays in the dark."

"Naturally."

"Until I give the signal. And—as quick as lightning—he dives in—"

"—and does to criminals what he did to that Cinderblock-bot!" Cyborg pumped his arm. "Boo-ya!!" He patted my arm. "Man……you're so gonna KICK ASS on this team!!"

I blushed.

I didn't like the spotlight……

But……

I scratched my chin.

'Wildcard'.

I smirked.

I liked that……

I sensed a pair of violet eyes fixed on me from across the table.

"????"

I glanced over.

Raven was suddenly tilting her head down into the pages of her book.

I blinked.

Was she looking at me……?

"Well, I personally can't wait…," Beast Boy winked.

"We may get our chance yet," Robin shrugged. "Word is out on the street that Control Freak has shown up near Town. Some tourists in Westhaven describe a fat man with a strange object in his hand turning the depository of a video rental store into a huge blob monster."

"Westhaven?? Dude, what's that?"

"A town a day's drive from here. Out in the country," Raven droned without looking up from her book. "They have an opera house there—"

"Whatever."

"It has been quite the extended period of time since we last dealt with Control Freak," Starfire said with a long face. "I do not look forward to any reunion we may have with him in the foreseeable future."

Robin patted her arm with a winking eyemask. "We're more than a match for him, Star. Trust me."

She smiled, blushing some.

Robin seemed to look past it. "Well……now that the initiation is over with—"

"Dessert?"

"Training!"

"Awwwwwwwww."

"Shucks!"

"Glorious!!-----er, I mean……The Shucks!!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"…………"

I took a deep breath.

I slowly stood up.

Facing the cold breeze of Kobayashi Tower.

Staring out towards the glittering 'T' on the bay.

Slowly….I turned around.

I summoned murk.

I blurred down the other side of the skyscraper, leapt, flickered smoke, and landed nimbly atop a line of buildings across the street. I then began to murk my way through the darklit City. Beneath the starlight. Alone.

I made my way into the dark and dank Northern District. Past the temporarily abandoned and shattered L-Train track. Across empty bazaars. Up onto apartment buildings. Raggedy rooftops.

And then….

I skidded to a stop.

Panting…..breathing….swallowing.

Staring across the gap in the street and the cold air at the front of the Norman Apartment buildings.

The lights weren't on that night.

As if some ghost still lived there.

I took a deep breath….and kept staring.

"………."

Thwack!!

"………."

Wham! Smack!!

"………"

Whap! Swiish!!

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

THWACK!!!

"!!!!" I fell back across the Titans' gym mat from Robin's foot, wincing.

The Boy Wonder panted in the pose of mid-kick. He slowly lowered his foot, walked over, and extended a gloved hand down at me. "Okay. That's me four. You……uhm……z-zero……"

I swallowed. I took his hand and stood up.

He tilted his head up to look into my face. Such a height difference, and yet he was kicking my ass. We were both dressed in the stereotypical sort of kung-fu combat gis. We were alone in the Titans' gym that afternoon……

'Training'.

"Stop trying so hard……," he calmly instructed. "It almost feels like you're mimicking me. Do your own thing, Noir. I know you've got the talent. I've seen you. Don't simply block me. Strike out. Outstep me. Do something out of balance for once."

I took a deep, shuddering breath.

Robin didn't understand……

I could ONLY do stuff in 'balance'.

It was my part of the spectrum.

The one Master taught me.

The center.

Black.

"You've faced enough of my attacks this morning……," Robin said. He got into a nimble fighting position utilizing grace that only a man of the Bat could have taught him. "……surely you can predict what I'm going to do. But I'm not asking you to be like water and flow around me. Show me some rocks. Show me something to break the current."

"…………," I adjusted my black shades and got into a fighting pose across the mat. Facing him.

Robin's eyemask thinned. "Be a little reckless. Forward." His lips moved thinly. "Be destructive……"

My black eyes narrowed beneath the shades.

Red………

I could do………'Destructive'……

Robin stepped back towards his corner of the mat.

He neared the edge, bearfoot.

I edged backwards, taking deep breaths.

Red……

Destruction……

I clenched my fingers and swallowed my scarred throat.

Concentrating…

Concentrating……

Concentrating………

On the exact opposite thing I wanted to be all the time at the School.

"Now!!" Robin charged at me.

I snarled.

RED!!!!!


SWOOOOOSH!!!!

Robin's eyemask widened, for I was flying at him with my elbow raised to his chin--

WHACK!!!!!

His body ragdolled backwards in mid-air.

I twirled.

I grinded my feet into the mat.

Howling mutely, I grabbed his midair body and fiercely slammed him into the ground……shoulders first.

WHAM!!!!

I held him down firmly with one hand while I lifted my other palm up……inhaled……and shoved it murderously down towards his sternum.

RED!!!!!!!!

CLUTCH!!! Robin grabbed my wrist.

I stood over him, panting.

He simpered. "That's um……," wheezed the Boy Wonder. "……v-very good, Noir."

I sweatdropped.

I helped him up without asking.

He stumbled back, adjusted his hair, and said: "Me four. You one. Now that's the spirit! No mercy!" He planted a hand on my shoulder. He uttered quietly: "Those crooks out in the urban wilderness won't be showing you any mercy. No need to hold back just because you're a Titan now. It's okay to be badass."

I stared at him.

Blinking.

It's okay……to be badass??

"I don't let any lack of superpowers stop me from kicking butt," Robin gestured. "You're the closest person we have on the team right now to being……'human', Noir. You're just like me……only extra gifted. But I don't think your gifts are superpowers. I think your gifts are courage……tenacity……and the flaming heart of a berserker. And I admire that."

I blushed somewhat.

He winked his eyemask: "Plus……keep countering my moves like that and—I swear—someday it'll be the death of me!!" He laughed.

I snickered breathily.

"Now……," Robin stepped back. He got into a fighting pose. "Again."

I did a double-take.

Again?!?!

He rushed at me. SWOOOOSH!!!! "Wa-TAA!!!"

I gasped and blocked at the last second.

WHUMP!!!!

BLACK!!!!—er—I-I mean RED!!!!!

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I gradually wandered from the Norman Apartments.

I walked along the docksides of the City.

Eyeing the lapping waters besides my treading feet.

The bobbing ships by the piers.

I took deep breaths of the cold, salty air.

I had hands in my pockets.

I gazed out…..out……out….

Across the Ocean.

My black eyes thin.

As if…..

As if I could see a lone freighter on the black waters.

And a band of teenage Titans strapped to torture chairs inside its metal belly.

"………."

"As soon as I saw your eyes the day after we took you in, I realized they most definitely have to be sensitive to bright lights. So I knew this room would be perfect……"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

In the dim flicker of candlelight, Raven and I finished shoving a bed towards the far wall of a cold, cellar room. We had been working patiently—with aid of the dark girl's telekinesis—to finish furnishing a small, dark, but quaint living quarters within the basement of the Tower. I had intricately screwed in lanterns donated by Raven herself to opposite walls of the small interior. They would provide me with just the tiniest amount of light my sensitive eyes needed to get my way back and forth across the chambers to where the adjacent bathroom lay with its very own shower stall.

It was by far the coldest, loneliest, and most somber bedroom choice in the Tower.

And I loved it.

Because it was dark.

Raven turned and shuffled towards a lone candle atop a bedside table placed freshly in the corner. She looked over her shoulder and graced me with her emotionless violet eyes. "This was actually originally going to be my room, once."

I leaned my head to the side. Glancing at her. Still recovering my breath from the furniture-movement.

"Cyborg couldn't figure out for the life of him why his father had this place built to begin with," she paced over with the candle holder in her grasp. "I suppose it was going to be a guard's office of sorts when the Tower was originally planned out to be a police structure. But that all got scrapped of course, and Robin and I moved in here with Cyborg when we settled in to protect this City. Robin had always planned for there to be lots of Titans joining the team. Like……somewhere in the number of twenty-five or something."

I blinked.

"But……," she sighed boredly. "We settled for five. And now six," she nodded her head at me. "So I don't need this room so much. Not quite so many young annoyances needing to be avoided. I settled for a room halfway up the Tower's floors."

I smirked and shrugged.

I was proud to be a new 'annoyance'.

"I hope the lanterns serve you well. I bought them for this very room……but they're of no use to me upstairs," she shrugged. "Just let me know if you need any more of them. I know just the place to go to."

I scratched my head and nodded……but then gave her a sideways glance.

Why was she being so……helpful to me?

Wasn't she the team loner?

It's almost as if--

"As long as you don't mind the storage and random junk in the way to and from the cellar entrance," Raven rambled on. "We have evidence and trinkets piled all over the place……some going as far back as Robin's apprenticeship."

I wandered over towards the alcove in the wall. I held my fingers out in the space.

A perfect spot for a sword mantle--

I paused.

Blinking.

I turned around and gazed at her.

I mouthed: 'apprenticeship?'

"Hmm?" Raven blinked. "Oh……you mean you don't know?"

"……………"

"I suppose……there is a lot a detail not mentioned by the bleeding newspapers after all."

I shrugged. I never had time to read newspapers. I had been working a raggedy ushering job to support an even raggedier apartment home for the past few months. And before that, I was……migrating…

"The first time we had a showdown with Slade……," the candle-bearing sorceress paced across the freshly furnished room. "Robin was coerced into being his 'apprentice'. Slade had threatened all of the Titans with nanomachines teleported into our bloodstreams. At a push of a button, the obsessive madman could have killed each and every one of us torturously……unless Robin gave into his commands by doing any and every criminal act Slade ordered him too."

I listened to her. My lips parted in awe.

"We all believed Robin had turned evil. We were……so overcome by his betrayal that we couldn't think straight. We fought him just as fiercely as he fought us. And he was winning. He was winning a battle that he did not want to fight, thrashing us within inches of our lives. And all just to save us……"

There was something lost in her gaze. Like evaporating mercury. She stared past the blinding candlelight towards the shadows in the room. "In the end, it is always sacrifice that turns the heart of the blind. We realized and understood that Robin was hopelessly innocent in his actions. And when we tried to save him, Slade finally pushed the button. We all fell down dying before Robin's eyes……at the final confrontation in Slade's lair. And do you know what Robin did?"

I slowly shook my head.

She took a deep breath, looked up at me directly, and said: "He killed himself along with us. He dove into the machine responsible for the nanomachines and shared our poison. He would rather die with us than live—even if it meant him being able to take down Slade by himself."

I took a deep breath.

Raven finished: "Some superpowers cannot be summed up in starbolts or sonic cannons. Nor in flight or in animorphing. Robin's humanity is three times as virtuous as the rest of us combined. For that……he is more than adequate for the job of leader." She took one step towards me. "You're with the Titans now, Noir. And soon you'll learn that the most powerful thing you can do is the act of being yourself. For it is your virtue alone that won you this……'apprenticeship'."

"……………," I stared at her. "…………" I smiled.

Wriii! Wrii! Wrii!

The alarm to Titan's Tower went off.

Raven and I gasped, startled. In jumping, she dropped the candle. It snuffed out on the cold floor of my new bedroom.

With the help of my black eyes, I quickly found the candle and held it up for Raven as the alarm howled in the background. She produced a match, fumbled around my arms, found the candle I was holding, and lit it.

"Th-Thanks……," she uttered. A beat. She looked at the lengths of our shoulders and arms making warm contact. Something in her cheeks went red.

"???" I glanced at her sideways.

"Ahem……," she held the candle in one hand and whipped out her communicator in the other with a Star Trek sound. "This is Raven. What's going on?"

Robin's voice squabbled: "Titans! Trouble!"

The sorceress' violet eyes narrowed. "What kind of trouble?"

Curious, I leaned in.

Robin's voice: "Fang!! He's been sighted robbing the west branch of the First Bank! Last word is……he's scampering across Downtown along Adams Street!"

Raven's eyes thinned. "Isn't that near St. Faustina Cathedral?"

His voice: "That's the rendezvous point, Raven! Join Cyborg in the T-Car and tell Noir to get down there now!! Have him ride with you if he needs to! Robin out!"

Click.

Raven pocketed the communicator. "Well……so much for testing out your bed."

I nodded—did a double take at her.

She blinked at me. "What?"

"………"

"You, of course."

I nodded vehemently.

"What's wrong with you??"

I shrugged even more vehemently.

"Pfft……another boy Titan……," Raven droned and headed towards the exit of my new room. "I swear. You're going to be just like the rest of them."

I grabbed Myrkblade off its makeshift mantelpiece and hurried after her.

I hope so………

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I walked along the abandoned courtyard of Bayside Plaza.

Towards the docksides.

The beach.

The shores.

The rising tide.

I again looked out across the water.

I spied the glittering sight of the Tower.

My home.

I took a deep breath.

My metal limb shivered, but I ignored it.

The wind……

Swoooosh!!

Plant!!

"It's about time you got here!!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I held my position up high on the marble scaffold.

Perched a few gothic spires away, Robin pointed at me.

"Fang's almost here!! Stay in the shadows!!!"

"????" I looked down into the street.

The other Titans were forming a living blockade.

And then……something was rushing at them.

Eight legs and six eyes of something.

A screech and a human cursing and a flurry of angry limbs announced the presence of Fang.

He tossed his money bag away, planted his strong mutant limbs into the ground, and raised his fists threateningly.

The Titans circled around him……battle ready.

I shifted nervously where I was poised. I held my sword in its sheathe in Myrkstaff mode. I looked over at Robin.

He whipped out a grappling hook. "Wait for my cue! You're the wildcard!! Don't jump him until I tell you to!!"

I looked at Robin. I looked at the distant Fang.

And something fell over me.

Like the cold shiver of death of my arms of flesh.

Something red and destructive.

I saw the mortality of the Boy Wonder.

A thing, stringy meat of mortality about to be flung into the spider's web.

This was no place for anyone NOT metahuman.

I gestured towards him, panting.

"I know what I'm doing!!" he hissed at his secret weapon. "Now know your place!! Be the ghost in the attic, Noir!! Be the Titans' ghost!!"

I nodded.

He reached a hand out.

I reached mind.

We pounded our fists together twice and gripped our palms in a shake of mutual camaraderie.

And I smiled.

And so did he.

"Meet you on the flipside, wildcard!!" POW!!! He fired his grappling hook. Clank!! He swung out and into the fray, shouting: "Teen Titans!! Go!!"

Robin joined the Titans and they all closed in on the reckless Fang. They fought and they shouted and they sweated.

And I waited in the shadows.

Like a good little ghost.

Watching with these black eyes.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I stopped.

I was halfway across the land bridge to the Tower.

Halfway home.

I had the dark waters on either side of me.

The darkened City to the back of me.

And ahead…..

The West and the East combined.

The stretching arms of steel.

Like a glittering crucifix.

And I took a deep breath.

And my metal and flesh fingers clenched.

As something deeply resonating inside my poltergeist heart dared to frown and dared to smile.

At the same time.

Dear Diana……

I took a deep breath.

I have it all wrong.

All the Titans have it wrong.

I took one step forward.

Then another.

Another.

I marched firmly home…

Robin was not defeated. He was never defeated.

He died……

But……

It was a victory, Diana. It was a victory because he died while fighting for everything he stood for. He died while stretching his mortality to the limit so that countless, countless other people could live.

I ran.

Smiling.

Breath panting ecstatically and agonizingly all the same.

Towards the Tower…..

Robin died the same way that he lived: an inspirational leader to us all. He died so that we may live on as well and continue saving in his name. And his name—masked by alternate egos or not—is that of justice. And truth. And the preservation of all that is Good.

The Messenger may have known it, but he never told me forthright. Robin had the Balance of Morals down way ahead of all of us. Before Slade. Before Viper. And before Dagger. Robin gave flight to the wings before the aviary ever turned red.

And that is the greatest victory any caped crusader could have.

I ran to the base of the Tower.

The entranceways.

The doors.

I took a deep breath and smiled. Like a reflection in Ana's eyes. Laced in white.

I reached for the handles to my home.

The victory isn't over. Not in the darkest cellar of doubt is it over. There's always a candle left to pick up and re-light. There's always something so beautiful and yet so blinding to behold.

We are the Titans.

And I shall see to it that we stay that way.

For though Robin may have died, he still had an ace up his sleeve.

His wildcard lives on…

I pulled at the handles to the doors.

They recognized my signature.

They opened with a huge mechanical whur.

I took a breath and I marched inside.

I had a job to do……