Angel Beats! エンジェルビーツ!

Our Beats Incarnate

Book I: The Station

Epilogue

-o-O-o-

Eighty years.

When you lay it out straight like that, even looking back, it was difficult to overlook just how long that truly was.

Nine hundred and sixty months.

Twenty-nine thousand, two hundred and twenty days.

Forty-two million, seventy-six thousand, eight-hundred minutes.

One astounding lifetime.

For Kanade, it brought nothing but a contented smile to her face and a permeating warmth to her soul. Her one lifetime – eighty years, give or take – with Yuzuru had been a truly awe-inspiring enduring dream. And how she relished the time they'd had together, the life they had built, the memories they'd shared.

And oh, how much she had missed it since her passing.

Even though she knew this afterlife would let her wait an eternity if need be, it felt almost as if she would have to wait until time itself came to its long-awaited end. Time, even when it was rendered a toothless beast as in this world, seemed to simply draw itself out like a knife, leaving an excruciating agony in its wake.

Kanade knew that she'd been dead before. She remembered everything now – the people, their faces, the events that had unfurled between them and eventually pushed each of them forwards to their new lives.

And the first time she'd met Yuzuru.

Since that night not too long ago, when she'd drawn to the end of what she considered a long and fulfilled life, she'd been able to recall everything, from the existence she'd recently vacated to the purgatory which had led her there in the first place – the source of all her dreams, her memories of Yuzuru. But even now, sitting in an infirmary that looked like an almost perfect replica of the one in that other afterlife, she knew this place was different. It wasn't the same kind of limbo. It wasn't a place to make amends or right all the wrongs unjustly bestowed in life. She was here because it was a familiar place. This really was just a duplicate of that other school for lost souls. It was more of a sanctuary – simply a place to wait.

And she knew exactly why she was waiting.

She sat there quietly beside one of the beds – the only bed which was currently occupied – and simply observed the occupant in contemplative silence. Yuzuru slept there beneath the thin fabric of the blanket, drawing slow and deep breaths, possibly dreaming. But who could really tell?

He had been lying there, comatose and unmoving, for at least three days – not that a "day" meant anything around here. The sun would rise and the sun would set, but the seasons had never shown any intention of changing – and hadn't shown any signs of waking up. He looked so peaceful, simply laying there. It was strange to see him in his youth again, as he had been the very first time they'd met, just before she'd stabbed him through the heart… The last memory she could recall of her life was of an elderly Yuzuru sitting beside her in bed, reading a book out loud for her benefit. Though there had been more than a few age-worn wrinkles there the beautiful copper of his eyes was still the same old Yuzuru.

There was no disguising that.

But now, his youth returned to him, she remembered just how handsome he really was to her.

The soft groan from the bed pulled her firmly out of her memories and back to whatever it was that constituted the real world in that place. Yuzuru stirred lightly, wincing in his sleep, and rolling onto his side to face Kanade.

This is new… she thought to herself.

As his eyes slowly lifted Kanade couldn't resist the pull of her memory as it drew her back through time to that night all those many years ago, the night of their first kiss. It was the night, maybe not when it all began, but when their future had truly began. Of course, that future was entirely within the past now, she realised. But that night would always remain a part of her from that very moment until the end of time itself.

Yuzuru's eyes seemed somewhat glassy, as if he were staring off somewhere into the middle-distance, detached somehow from the reality around him. Kanade remembered the various sensations from her own passing, consciousness proving slow to establish itself as the dream-like state of living lingered for a moment longer, fading eventually into memory and yielding to the nature of this new actuality.

His passing had been peaceful, this time.

She was grateful for that.

Then his eyes seemed to focus, and scan the room in which he was lying. It didn't take long for them to lock upon Kanade's face, sitting as close to the bed as she was, and at once they ignited with bold recognition. His eyes widened for a fleeting moment before his body could catch up, flinging himself upright in bed, a look of surprise carved in cold stone upon his features.

"K-Kanade?" he whispered disbelievingly. Kanade found it cute, in its own way, "How… Why… You're-"

She leaned forwards, taking his hand in her own. It wouldn't take him too much longer to catch on now, she knew. He was usually pretty quick on the uptake.

"Hello, Yuzuru." She offered simply, a slight smile pervading her otherwise neutral mien. It did nothing to display the inwards longing she'd held to see him again, nor the overwhelming joy now that he was at last there with her again. But in his present state, clearly somewhat bewildered, she knew that her calming presence would do far more to settle him than anything else she was capable of expressing.

"But you're…" Yuzuru seemed to hesitate, considering the possibility that everything around him could quite easily turn out to be an illusion. Instead he simply took in his surroundings. The less than comfortable bed, the thin and flimsy sheets, the cubicles separated by heavy, faded yellow polyester curtains…

"Dead?" Kanade tried to complete the thought for him.

"I was going to say 'young again'…" His face seemed to lose several shades of colour, leaving him a slightly queasy hue of green, "This looks an awful lot like-"

"It is." Kanade interrupted him. She didn't want to leave him guessing when he appeared so unsettled, so uncomfortable. She had no doubt that he'd come to terms with it readily enough, but the entire experience had to be disorientating. It had taken her the best part of her first hour to recall that she had actually died and that this was some sort of afterlife, so Yuzuru was already making good progress. Though she still appreciated how unsettling it was.

"But are we-?"

"No." she shook her head softly, sending waves through the full length of her platinum locks, "This place is different."

"Then I did-"

"Yes." She nodded. He was beginning to understand what had happened.

"So I'm-"

"Yes." She nodded again.

"Oh…" Yuzuru fell back against the cold metal headboard, letting his head loll back with a sigh as he seemed to think. Massaging the bridge of his nose between a thumb and forefinger , he allowed himself a couple of deep breaths to sustain his composure, "I only wanted to take a nap!"

Kanade didn't have it in her to stifle the giggle which erupted from her smile. Even now, in coming to terms with the fact that his life was over, Yuzuru managed to joke – managed to make her smile. It was one of the many things about him she'd missed since coming here. She honestly had no idea how long it had been – time had very little meaning – but it had felt like a needlessly long eternity.

She'd always known that it was only a matter of time until Yuzuru joined her. Now that he was here time really was no longer relevant.

"At least it was painless this time." He unwittingly broke into her reverie, "So if this isn't the same afterlife, why does it look so…"

That honestly hadn't been the question she'd expected him to ask, though it did show that his memory was perfectly intact. Unlike the last time he didn't seem to have forgotten his past life, nor their shared past in the afterlife. That in itself was both a blessing and a curse – she doubted that she could've borne out having her Yuzuru forget who she was. She knew from her own experience that, looking back now, life had seemed almost like a waking dream, a fleeting phantasm that had imprinted itself upon her soul with warm and pleasant memories.

Yuzuru had been right. Life had been worth living.

"You remember it all too?" she asked him, an eyebrow rising jointly with her curiosity as she wondered if everything had come back to him so quickly. He simply nodded, so Kanade didn't probe any further into the matter, "I thought this would be easier for you."

There was a moment of wide-eyed surprise on Yuzuru's part, "You did all of this?"

He took in the room around him one more time, noting the detail in everything he saw, from the slightly uneven floor tiles to the few patches of ageing, peeling paint on the infirmary walls. He ran the fabric of his covers between his fingers, feeling out the rough texture and the fine weave of the material.

Kanade had gone to all that effort just for him, to set him at ease. It couldn't have been easy to bring so many hints of non-uniformity into this place – the time and concentration must have been fairly intense. Either she'd been at it a long, long time, or she just had a natural aptitude.

But then again, who had he ever met who was more focused and driven than his life-long angel?

It was then that he noticed the chair off to the other side of the bed, complete with an old looking shirt and an enormous crimson stain which looked like it was still fresh. Yuzuru shot Kanade a suspicious look, though her own expression remained professionally blank, "Nice touch…" had he not known her so well he might well have missed the ever so slight upward twitch at the corner of her mouth which marked a supressed smirk. To Yuzuru's eyes she may as well have telegraphed it.

He had to chuckle, "Though seeing you in that uniform again is always nice." He made a point of looking her head to toe with a slow nod of his head and a lecherous smirk, and extending a hand to her.

This time her smile did break out, amusement shimmering in her eyes, "Yuzuru, you're incorrigible."

That didn't for an instant stop her from taking his hand, though.

"You can't blame me." Yuzuru pulled her in towards him, holding her hand securely as he escorted her up onto the bed. With a ballroom-esque twirl Kanade ended up sat sideways across his lap, her right shoulder leaning against his chest and her head coming to rest in the crook between his neck and shoulder. Yuzuru rested his chin lightly atop Kanade's head, relishing the delicate scent of her hair and placing a considerate kiss as he wrapped his arms around her in a protective hug, "I've missed you."

Kanade nuzzled gently into his neck, returning the embrace as best she could, contented and happy to be in his arms again. She leaned up a little, tracing a soft kiss between his jawline and his cheek, "I've missed you too."

"So…" Yuzuru moved his head back a little bit, looking down on Kanade with a smile, "What do we do now; stay in this place for all eternity?" he asked, wondering if this was perhaps their own personal little afterlife. He couldn't help but wonder if they could make it entirely their own.

When Kanade looked up at him, meeting his gaze, her response wasn't entirely what he'd been expecting.

"Shall we go back?" she asked softly.

She was talking about life – going back, returning to the mortal coil and seeing once more how the infinite possibilities might play out.

"And do it all again?" Yuzuru asked, filled with both curiosity and fascination, "Meet? Fall in love?"

Kanade simply nodded, "Yes."

"How will we meet?"

"I'll find you." She was sure of it. She'd found him the last time, waited for him at the insistence of the hidden inner voice of her memories.

"How?" Yuzuru didn't seem quite as assured, but the gentle kiss she brushed delicately across his lips seemed to offer some reassurance.

"I'll follow my heart."

The look in her eyes told him that she knew she'd find him. That sure and sturdy confidence was so unwavering that Yuzuru couldn't help but feel afflicted by it. It was contagious.

His only response was a silent nod and a smile, reciprocated by Kanade an instant later. Her arms tightened around him as her head returned to rest against him. A deep and contented sigh followed. "I love you, Yuzuru."

And she vanished from his arms.

Yuzuru allowed himself a short huff of amusement, finding himself alone again in yet another afterlife. And, once again, the sun appeared to be setting, leaving the room aglow in ever deepening shades of fiery amber. Things didn't seem quite as hopeless as they had the last time.

He wondered how long it would take him to find her. He wondered just how much he would remember this time around. Who could really say? That all seemed to be part of the experience of living.

Yuzuru turned to look out of the window, noting with a smile the simple, glorious end to the day, and the luminous incandescent orb of light which rose away to the skies above.

He watched that orb until it vanished from sight.

"I'm coming, Kanade." He whispered towards the sky.

The infirmary returned to an empty silence as the sun vanished beneath the horizon.

-o-O-o-

Epilogue

Author's Note: Yes, I know, I know. That most likely isn't all that you were hoping for from this story. But my intent was only to cover from just before that tantalising endgame from the series where Kanade and Yuzuru are about to meet again, to the point just after their first kiss. For me, that is where the richest pickings for a story lie. And, whilst I was never going to fully address the after story of their life together, I wanted to show that it was my intent for their lives to be long and happy together.

I hope you enjoyed this first book. The second will be along in due course, so if you'd like to see what happens next, watch this space. For anybody who hasn't yet figured out where I'm going with this, each "book" is going to cover a different lifetime – a different scenario for Kanade and Yuzuru to meet, and then to explore how things unfold. It won't always be fluffy and warm. But I'm hoping it will always be unique, fun, and at the very least meaningful. And above all else, a good read.

To address a couple of questions, yes – I intend to include the other characters as things progress. I think this story would be far less were I to leave them out. And yes, I'm still looking for a Beta. If you feel you're up to it, drop me a line.

Finally, thank you for reading. This story has proven far more popular than I'd expected. As I write this there are twenty-two favourites and seventeen people following my progress making it my most popular work to date. And I'm most definitely flattered by each and every encouraging review.

Thank you all.

For everything.

And on to the next…

NKC