House limped slowly to the car while trying to control his shaking hands. He was scared that his hand would tremble too much and he would be sent sprawling onto the walkway in front of the nosey neighbors, who were usually up this early in the morning, peeking out into the street. One step at a time House finally made it to the car and maneuvered himself into the front seat. He had a brown sac crushed into his left hand in case the nausea acted up again but for now he was okay. He had made sure his stomach was better before giving Cuddy the okay to leave. He really did not want to embarrass himself in front of her and the kids. Once he was seated with his seatbelt on he closed his eyes and waited for Cuddy and the kids.
…
Cuddy was inside getting the kids ready to leave. Abby was being difficult, not at all pleased at being woken up this early and Cuddy was fighting hard to be stern with her. Emily was being unusually quiet, her daddy's request etched into her mind. She helped get Abby's favorite toys and clothes into a bag for her mommy as Cuddy got Abby fed and clean. Once everything was set, Cuddy carried Abby to the car, the little girl whining and protesting. Emily followed behind with her overnight bag slung over her shoulder and Abby's bag in her hands. Cuddy got Abby into the car seat and then helped Emily into hers. She expected a little trouble from Emily at this point but Emily was surprisingly hushed and let her tie up the buckles without complaint. Emily absolutely despised the car seat with a passion, usually saying that she was much too old to be sitting in one. Cuddy sighed with relief that the girl was being obedient this morning. Once Emily was ready, Cuddy hurried to the driver's seat and started the ignition. House had his eyes closed and his head tilted back, his right hand still trembling in his lap. Almost there House hold on.
Cuddy drove quickly to Wilson and Julie's and did not spend much time at the house upon arrival.
"Hi Julie. Thanks again for this, I really appreciate it." Cuddy put Abby down and moved as Emily walked through the door with the bags.
"No problem Lisa. God he doesn't look does he?" Julie looked at House from the doorway and smiled sympathetically. "You just focus on getting him better and the kids will be fine."
"Thanks" Cuddy bent down and gave Abby a quick kiss on the cheek.
"You be good for aunty Julie ok? Mommy will see you later. I love you" Abby sobbed loudly giving an almost unintelligible "love you" before grabbing onto her leg. Cuddy looked up at Emily who walked over, her eyes watery, and gave her a big hug. Cuddy whispered into Emily's ear;
"You're being such a good girl. I'm so proud of you and so is your daddy. You have to be strong for your sister ok? No crying. I love you very much" Cuddy gave Emily a quick kiss on the cheek and straightened up. She said goodbye to Julie and then hurried out Abby's cries ringing in her ears.
Once in the car Cuddy took a deep breath before starting the ignition. She did not notice when House glanced over at her and was taken by surprise when he spoke.
"I'm sorry" Cuddy looked over at House confused.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. This is beyond your control. You are in chronic pain, and you don't usually feel the need to apologize. It's not you. Please just hold on and we'll be there soon." Cuddy felt a tear fall down her cheek but she was too busy driving to push it away. House continued to watch her.
"I warned you…before we had Emily about this…"
"House stop…"
"No!" Cuddy looked over. His voice which had been weak a moment ago now held a bit of strength.
"Please don't do this House"
"Cuddy if this treatment doesn't…work, what the hell am I going to do?" Cuddy looked at House. He was giving up, and she refused to let him do that.
"House, you are the most determined, intelligent, stubborn man I have ever known. You can't give up, you know why? Because it isn't about you anymore. You have something to live for now and you have the ability to make it, I know you do. If this treatment doesn't work we'll find another."
"I'm not worried about me dying Cuddy. You don't get it. If I can't help you take care of the kids, get stuff done…then what use am I? I don't want to feel guilty and in pain for the rest of my life. I can't do that. Not to myself, and not to you" Cuddy pulled into the parking lot of the hospital and turned towards House.
"As long as you're here, you give me strength"
"As nice as it is to hear, it doesn't hold much truth. You were a strong woman long before I came along"
"But I was miserable. And now I'm not"
"I still am" Cuddy's eyes opened in shock.
"You think I don't appreciate you guys, but you're wrong. As long as I'm in pain Cuddy, my misery never goes away. It's not so bad when I'm with the kids or watching TV with you or anything like that. But at night, when it's too much, when all of you are sleeping and I'm pacing for hours just wishing it would all end, I know it" House pushed the car door open and Cuddy watched him limp slowly towards the hospital. She took a minute to let out a few sobs and then composed herself before following House into the building.
…
House entered and met Wilson in his office, and did not say a word as the they waited for Cuddy to arrive. Once they were all seated, Wilson began to speak.
"Ok, so here's what's going to happen. I've called in an anesthesiologist to supervise the treatment. He should be here any minute now, and he's brought along three nurses specializing in this sort of thing so you won't know anyone treating you. We're going to put you under anesthesia and while you're asleep we'll give you the Naltrexone, which will supplant the narcotics from the receptor sites in your brain and nervous system, and end your addiction. This should take about two to six hours. We'll need to monitor you're condition for at least a day or two. Once the drugs are completely out of your system, and everything is in order, we'll start the Fentanyl patches. You will come in once a week for a month after we start the patch for a check up to make sure everything is working. Deal?" Wilson willed House to lift his head but he did not.
"Fine. Can we do this now?"
"Yes." Wilson got up and brought House to a small room with only one bed. House was glad he would be alone. Thank you. A couple of minutes later, an older looking man House had never met strode into the room followed by three nurses; one carrying a clipboard, one pushing a cart and another with an IV bag.
"Hello Doctor House. My name is Doctor Albert Brighton and I'll be monitoring your detox. These young ladies are Susan, Maria and Ashley. They will be assisting me and you of course. I understand that you are in a lot of pain, so I'll make this quick. I only have a couple of questions to ask you and then we'll begin. First, I need to know on a scale of one to ten, what you would rate your current pain level at?"
"Nine" The girl Susan wrote down the number on the chart.
"Ok. Ashley please go get the Naltrexone for Doctor House" Ashley left the room and Cuddy edged closer to House's bed. Wilson was listening to doctor Brighton as if he was sharing the cure for cancer.
"You've been taking how many Vicodin pills a day doctor House?" House hesitated before answering. Cuddy and Wilson were watching him intently.
"Eight or nine a day depending on the pain" Wilson's eyebrows shot up and Cuddy's mouth opened. Doctor Brighton didn't looked fazed or surprised but only nodded. Susan wrote yet another note on her chart.
"Ok. Have you been taking anything else lately doctor House?" House didn't look at anyone in the eye.
"Six milligrams of Morphine two days ago" House didn't look up into Cuddy's eyes. He didn't want to see the disappointment staring back at him.
"Ok. Anything else?"
"No"
"How about alcohol doctor House?"
"Not much these last couple of days"
"Ok. Maria will you please hook up doctor House's IV?" Maria stepped forward and began the preparations for the IV.
"Alright doctor House, that's about it. You'll be put under in a couple of minutes. Any questions about the procedure?"
"No. Just do it"
"Ok" Doctor Brighton nodded at Maria who hooked up the bag to House's IV and then the three nurses walked out soon followed by the doctor. House was left with Cuddy and Wilson.
"I'll see you when you wake up" Cuddy grabbed House's hand. He tried to pull it away but he found it was too heavy to lift.
"Yeah"
"I love you House" House gave Cuddy a surprised look before everything went dark.