184. And Collapse
Five and a half months ago….
-T-T-T-T-T-T-
Schwissh!!
I walked into the Main Room of Titan's Tower.
Dressed in a white t-shirt and shorts. Bare foot.
Raven's cloak held warmly over my shoulders.
After hours and hours of being stuck with the laundry in the basement corridors of the Tower, I had finally managed to teleport myself free.
Night had fallen outside the windows.
And the Titans……
I whistled.
No response.
A beat.
I blinked underneath my shades.
I craned my neck.
And there they were.
Sound asleep. Surrounded by counters, couches, and tables cluttered from head to toe with police reports, city maps, and other various urban schematics. The glowing computer monitor above them droned with P.I.P.'s of my personal bio and more city schematics.
I had been missing.
I had been missing, and the Titans had searched their resources silly to find me.
And they had knocked themselves collectively from the exhaustion.
Beast Boy snored, his body lying lengthwise on a counter in the kitchen area besides a couple of midnight tofu snacks. Cyborg was at a booth in front of a table spread over with newspapers, upon which he was obviously working on the meatball construction of various little beacons. Robin and Starfire snoozed back to back on a couch, their laps covered with police reports. And then there was Raven, sitting cross legged on the floor and leaning her head ungracefully on her arms across a low-lying table.
I smiled. I fingered the robe around me. I walked over and gently spread it over the sleeping Raven's back. Right where it should be. I walked over, took a blanket that an ill Robin had been using earlier that week, and laid it over the laps of the Boy Wonder and the Tamaranian. I also managed to carry a sleeping Beast Boy over to the more comfortable booth seat besides Cyborg. And for the android, I took a beacon or two out of his hands and leaned him back comfortably against his seat. He stirred momentarily and went back to snoring.
That done and said, I switched off the monitors and the lights and walked back to the elevator.
I paused for a moment, turned around, and folded my arms.
And smiled.
Gazing at my family.
At peace.
Together.
With a gentle breath.
"………………"
-T-T-T-T-T-T-
Friday
November 12, 2005
3:31 pm
-T-T-T-T-T-T-
"……………"
The Main Room was cold and empty.
I stood there, staring through the shadowed interior to the gray world beyond the windows.
Alone.
Silence…..
I took a deep breath.
With a metal hand, I parted a drooping bang or two…revealing the fresh scar on my cheek.
I exhaled.
"…………."
I held my flesh hand up.
A letter and an envelope rested in my palm.
Ornately written out.
Addressed to the Titans…but with careful mention of Cyborg's name in the introduction.
The body of the letter was short.
And it was to the point.
More than I could ever say….
I swallowed my empty throat.
I quickly folded the letter, slid it into the envelope, and sealed my voice tight.
With a final breath I gave the Main Room one last glance before turning around….and heading into the elevator.
-T-T-T-T-T-T-
I leaned limply back against the wall of the elevator.
Everything vibrated and gently hummed as I descended and descended and descended.
I held the envelope in my grasp.
I stared at the floor.
Silence…..
"I could't stand to be under that red sky anymore," Robin said. "Just like Nightwing....a bird like me has to find a new cage. A new aviary, if you will."
I blinked under my shades.
I took a deep breath.
"And I think you're the only other member of our team who understands what it means to feel conflicted over what we're doing here. Is it that we're trying to be heroes in a new battlefield? Or perhaps—Noir—you and I are also running away from something? Something painful? Something that has made us colder and darker than the children we once used to be?"
I gazed up at the numbers on the elevator controls. The lights trickled down and down and down….
"I failed this City……We failed this City. The Titans failed. It's the damn red sky of Gotham all over again. I cannot escape it this time. And heaven help me…I have no idea what the Hell I'm going to do…."
I bit my lip.
My nostrils flared as my throat felt sore.
How am I going to do this?
Where am I going to go?
What am I going to do?
For the contract……?
-Ding-
Schwiish!!
The elevator stopped and the doors open.
I blinked.
Beast Boy stood. We were a few levels up from where I needed to go.
He stared at me. Quizzical. And yet….slightly knowing….
Of something…
I hid the envelope behind my back.
"You too, huh?" he asked.
"……..," my heart jumped.
"Going to see Cyborg in his lab?"
I exhaled. I…..slowly nodded.
"Yeah….," Beast Boy wandered into the elevator. "Everybody's going there, dude. Starfire. Tempest. It's like some unofficial meeting." He hit a button to close the elevator door. "The poor dude doesn't get any time to fix his plans for the new T-Car. Heh….now that he and Raven are…."
Silence.
The changeling's voice lingered for some reason.
He gave me a half-glance. He pushed the down button and selected the floor for both of us.
"……..," I waited.
And he waited.
And…..
Nothing.
Nothing but humming and the gentle vibration and bitter silence until--
Beast Boy shook.
He sighed.
He hit the 'stop' button.
The elevator paused with a slight lurch.
"????" I glanced at him funny.
He looked up at me, biting his lower lip. He said: "Noir….I can see it. I've learned how to read you, dude. Just cuz you're mute doesn't mean you're unemotional."
"……..?" I leaned my head to the side.
He leaned forward. "Why didn't you….ya know….step in there?? Protest?? Try and 'say' what you really feel for god's sake???"
My black eyes narrowed behind my shades.
What in the heck are you talking about??
"Raven!!" he gestured.
I winced.
I looked aside.
Oh……
"Dude….everybody knows it!" Beast Boy waved his arms. "You and her…..you had some connection going on!! Back in the day!!"
I gave him a sideways look.
"Okay….maybe not everyone….but I knew it!!" Beast Boy waved. "The way she was always protecting you. The way you and only you could give her the silent shoulder to lean on that she needed. Dude…why didn't you just….I dunno….go all berserk the other day when she and Cyborg made out??"
I smiled exhaustingly. I started to hand-sign a 'flying' figure.
"Noir….it's not Supergirl!!"
I winced.
He swallowed and breathed: "You don't like Kara. Just face it!"
"……," I glanced aside.
My metal finger danced alongside the envelope.
I've got more important things to worry about right now……
"You only talk to her—like—on the phone or on the computer!! Neither of you have actually so much as tried to see each other in person over the last three months!!"
I gave him a sarcastic smirk.
"Dude….listen….," Beast Boy walked over and put a hand up on my shoulder. "The reason why Cyborg and I kept teasing you back during our trip when you met her is…..well….you're our friend, dude. And after all that crap that Slade and Jinx put you through….after all the loss you suffered……we wanted you to be happy. Your biggest revealed crush suddenly being in our midst was too big a thing to pass up!! OF COURSE we egged you on about her!! Anything to get you….I dunno…smiling!! And not smiling just to make us feel better. I worry about you a lot, Noir. Cyborg and I…Starfire….Raven….we worry about you! Cuz you're family and all that!!"
I shuddered.
My metal fingers struggled not to crumple the envelope.
I held my grown, breathing slowly. Firmly.
But I couldn't look straight at Beast Boy anymore.
"Raven can understand you!! Dude….just stand up to her and Cyborg and say something!! Man, I love Cyborg to the bottom of my vegetarian heart….but that doesn't mean I like it when he ups and steals a close person from you! Cuz that's what he did, Noir!"
I sighed. I shook my head.
"He did, man!! He stole Raven! And you know it!'
I chuckled breathily, leaned forward, and pressed a button.
The elevator resumed its descent.
Beast Boy swallowed a sat throat. "Dude….don't keep punishing yourself like this."
"………"
He shuddered. "It's all because of that girl in the painting, isn't it?"
"……..," I finally gazed over at him. My lips parted somewhat….
"That 'Ana' person…the chick with the sword….," Beast Boy whispered. "You….still love her, don't you?"
"…….."
"More than Raven. And definitely more than Kara."
"…….."
"Look….I've learned something from all of this nightmare…," Beast Boy tugged at my arm. He spoke quietly. Sincerely. In that squeaky little voice of his that preserved the dying child inside. "I've learned that you've got to move on. Starfire's showed me that memories are just what I need to grow off of."
I breathed.
Starfire showed you……
"Robin's gone. And she counts it all joy because she can change the way she is and the way things will be by simply remembering him. And….," he faltered a bit, but spoke: "Terra's gone. Terra's gone….but I'm not going to punish myself with sadness or guilt. Cuz she wouldn't have me do that. She'd instead have me become a better man. Something for her to be proud of."
I rubbed my temples with my right fingers.
Terra isn't gone, Beast Boy.
I won't accept that.
But if believing that somehow gives you peace, then……
Stay as you are……for now…
"Dude…even Tempest has almost gotten over his doom and gloom with Princess Tula!! He's now being buddy-buddy to that church girl in Downtown!" Beast Boy motioned. He looked earnestly up at me. "Whatever happened to Ana, Noir…..you don't need to let it weigh you down! Don't punish yourself with sorrow or loneliness or anything!! You've got friends here!!" He smiled anxiously. "You've got family. We want to help you….in th-the same way you've always helped us."
I closed my eyes under my shades.
I gently exhaled through my nostrils.
I wanted to tell him….
But even if I could, I knew that I wouldn't.
I simply can't just 'get over' Ana, Beast Boy.
She's more to me than just a simple love.
She's much…much more.
She always has been.
And……
She always will be…
And it's not because of her that Supergirl and I never get together.
And it's not because of her that I let Raven have the happiness that she needs and desires.
There are some things that you just can't understand, Beast Boy.
And—most likely—never will understand.
It is my issue and mine alone.
Mine alone……
-Ding.-
Schwiish!!
The doors opened.
I walked out first.
Gaping, Beast Boy watched me leave.
A beat.
He hung his head with a sigh.
He trudged down the hallway loosely behind me.
Muttering:
"I'll never understand the juxtaposition of handsomeness and reclusive behavior…"
-T-T-T-T-T-T-
I walked into the laboratory.
And…
I froze.
"No! For the last time, Tempest….we're standing by until word comes from the City, asking for assistance of any kind!"
"The City's fine and you know it!" Tempest pointed. He sat across from the relatively….heated room and gestured dramatically. "The night before last was a fluke!! Ever since those looters went to town with explosives, three hidden caches of Dagger's stuff have been located and found! We've covered the City!! We've covered enough to cross eight Cities!!"
"You can never be too cautious anymore, man….," Cyborg mumbled. He leaned over a diagram of the T-Car and—so it seemed—was doing his best to concentrate while the Atlantean far behind his shoulder frustrated him.
Raven sat lonely in a corner with a book in her lap. She eyed the pages and pretended in her beautifully crafted meditation that nothing was happening.
Cyborg said to Tempest: "This City is not the same place it used to be. Even I don't need to tell you that."
"I'm not talking so much about the City anymore!" Tempest uttered emphatically. "Dagger's gone, man!"
"No…."
"Dagger's gone! The battle is over!!"
"No…no…no…no!" Cyborg grumbled. He glared once over his shoulder. "It ain't over, you hear??" He returned fumingly to his blueprints. "There's no telling where Dagger's at now…"
"There's no telling because we haven't followed his trail anymore!!"
"In case you've forgotten….," Cyborg remarked, "…Robin died trying to follow that god damn trail!!!"
Beast Boy walked into this and immediately winced. His whole body cringed, and he slowly….nervously…tried to back out. He heard a whispering hiss. He looked over.
Starfire stood quietly in the corner. She gently motioned towards him.
He swallowed and walked over. They stood in the corner and watched, still. Like statuesque children to divorcing parents having a row.
Tempest walked towards Cyborg's seated backside. "We all know that Robin died. But we all know that—while Robin lived—he never gave up on anything. Ever. Do you think he would have us sitting around on our butts when there's still an empty case at hand??"
"There is no empty case….," Cyborg grumbled. "Robin died. It was a trap. It was all a big trap. The young man was headstrong. He was brave….he was our leader….but it was too much too soon and it costed him!!"
"No, Cyborg…," Tempest shook his head. "It was just the right kind of bravery, but Viper or Dagger or SOMETHING got to the Boy Wonder first. And that has cost us!! Dearly. It would be dishonorable to just—"
Cyborg spun around, half-standing up. "Don't tell me what is or is not dishonorable!!!" he shouted.
The whole room practically winced.
I too. I still held the envelope behind my back. But suddenly….it seemed lighter than a feather.
Cyborg took a deep breath and pointed angrily into the numbed Tempest's chest: "You think you know Robin?? You're barely even a Titan, man!! You're still a nooby. You hardly had a chance to know what Robin valued or did not value…so don't go standing there all proud and angsty and give me a speech when I've known Robin the entire Titans' career and now honor his legacy by serving in command!!"
Tempest frowned. "If you knew Robin, then you most of all would know—"
"I will not go on wild goose changes risking all that's left of Robin's friends and family!!!"
"That's just it, Cyborg!!!" Tempest said with half a bitter laugh. "There you go preaching about Robin's 'friends and family'!! It isn't complete, Cyborg!!" His voice echoed across the laboratory. He took a few deep breaths. He went on, loudly: "It isn't a complete family!! Stop pretending that it is!! Something needs to be done about this and the time is now!! When there's still plenty of dust at Dagger's feet to track him down and—"
"Save it for when I have the stomach for your endless whining, Tempest….," Cyborg sauntered back towards the drawing board. "I swear to God…I don't know how Robin ever stomached you."
Tempest snarled and stepped forward with a shaking fist: "He stomached me because he could believe in impossibilities!! Like resurrecting a banished soul from an underwater DEMON!!!"
Cyborg quickly spun around and trudged back, shouting: "THIS…IS NOT…ABOUT YOU!!!"
"Then what is it about, Cyborg?!?!" Tempest shouted back. "Not me?? Not you?? Not Robin?? That's half the Titans there!! What good is it just standing around and doing nothing?!?! We're superheroes for God's sake!!!"
"We're superheroes, not morons!!!"
"The only moron I see here is—"
THWAP!! Raven slammed her book shut.
Starfire and Beast Boy cringed.
Tempest and Cyborg silenced.
I swallowed.
The room was covered in ice.
She stood up, brow furrowed. "The only morons….are teammates who spend all afternoon yelling at each other and doing doubly nothing….," she walked over and stood beside Cyborg. "It's obvious that things are still painful to bear as of late. We need to keep ourselves in check." She looked at the android Titan. "Let's sit down….and breathe a little….away from each other." And she then looked at Tempest, with considerably more of a glaring eye. "And I do mean everyone…."
"…….," Tempest glared at the two of them. Collectively. "Heh….I see how it is….."
A beat.
He ran a shaking hand through his hair.
He looked over at Starfire and Beast Boy. His lips parted some…
The alien girl had a hand on Beast Boy's shoulder. The green elf seemed to be fighting the shivers. Starfire had her face gazing to the floor. They looked like the saddest things in the world. And mute….eternally mute.
On the edge of a knife.
Tempest took a seething breath. "Screw this….," he muttered. Then, angrier, with teeth showing. "Screw all of this!!" He waved his arm, spun, and marched out the door.
Fuming, Cyborg marched after him. An outreaching Raven was powerless to stop him--
"It's that attitude of yours that pisses me off, Tempest!!" the android Titan shook. "Go on!! Keep walking!! Walk on out of the Tower and never come back, for all I frickin' care—"
Tempest spun around in the hallway and hollered: "Oh go suck on battery, Cyborg!!!" He pointed with an iron finger. "Are you blind?!?! Are you completely and utterly blind as you are hotheaded?!?!" He panted. He gestured towards Beast Boy and Starfire. "Do you not see it?!?! Day in and day out they don't bring it up because they're terrified!! They know that you're going to turn them away with your cold and silent restraint!!! But they're too innocent and too trusting and too god damn sweet to do anything to challenge your suddenly high-and-mighty command, as if that would threaten the very integrity of the Titans!! Well there are no Titans anymore, Cyborg!! Because where there is no trust, there is no team!!!"
"What the Hell do you mean, there is no trus--?!?!"
"We all want to find the girl Terra, Cyborg!!" Tempest exclaimed. He was shaking all over. His breath was ragged…desperate….earnest. "Beast Boy sobs over it!! Starfire laments over it!! Noir hides in his lonely little shell and Raven's been reduced to some shadow of a girl who's now content enough to hid behind your titanium back. Dammit!!" He stomped his foot against the metal floor. The wounded one. "We can't keep living like this, Cyborg!!! We can't keep living like this!! Not while there's still a job to be done and not while there's still—"
I stepped in between them. I faced Cyborg with my finger held up--
Cyborg brushed me aside. "Stay out of this, Noir!!"
I stared about him. My face twisted.
Hey!! Don't you silence me……--
"Tempest," Cyborg frowned and pointed. "Terra's gone. Dagger's nowhere to be found. End of discussion." He waved his arms. "Period!"
"You're a coward!!!" Tempest shouted.
Starfire and Beast Boy shivered.
Cyborg sneered: "I'm doing what's best for the team—"
"You're a coward, Cyborg!! God!!" Tempest frowned and gestured. "Robin died because he put himself on the line!! Not the Titans!! Stop making excuses!! I swear!! All you want to do is mope here in the Tower alongside your new girlfriend!!"
Raven blinked.
STOMP!!
Cyborg was in the Atlantean's face.
He uttered hoarsely: "At least I have the decent, common sense to not let my 'girlfriend' walk into the jaws of death because I was too full of myself to protect her!!!"
Starfire gasped, a hand cupped over her mouth.
Tempest's jaw dropped. He blinked. Once. Twice. Then his face angled into a teeth gritting frown. A demonic surge of purple flickered across his dark eyes. And with a snarl…
His fist flew.
SWOOOOSH-CLAMP!!! I blocked him with a metal forearm.
Cyborg stepped forward—FLASH!!! A black talon of energy pulled him back by Raven's glowing side.
"That's enough….," the sorceress uttered.
I gripped Tempest's shoulders. Holding him…though he was already still, but seething.
I swallowed and looked over my shoulder at Cyborg. Exhaling.
"…………..," Cyborg's snarl left his face. And the part that was still flesh was covered in a cold sweat. He stared in disbelief at the floor and brought a shaking hand to his titanium forehead. "Man…..Just…….," he closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. He swallowed. "….keep it cool….keep it cool." A beat. He reopened his eyes weakly and looked at Tempest. "I'm sorry, man. I….I-I didn't mean that…."
"Yeah….," Tempest muttered. Still frowning. His eyes back to dark…but somehow darker. "Real sorry…"
Thwump!!
He shook me loose and stormed down the hallway. Alone. Disappearing down a stairwell.
Silence.
Cyborg was panting. He looked the other Titans' way.
Beast Boy and Starfire stared forlornly at him.
Cyborg shuddered. "Look….guys….," he said in a quiet, almost whispery voice. "I'm sorry. Wh-What did you come down here to say?"
"………..," Beast Boy had a defeated look on his face. His voice sounded twice as defeated as he looked down and murmured: "Nothin'….."
"…..," Starfire swallowed. She gently led him and herself away…down the opposite end of the hallway.
Cyborg, Raven, and I stood alone in the hallway outside his laboratory.
A pause………………………
"Was that…..really necessary?" Raven droned, looking at Cyborg.
Cyborg ran a hand over his human head. "I….I-I don't know what came over me. When he started saying that 'girlfriend' crap……about you….it j-just….just threw me over the edge. I…..I always couldn't stand his attitude. But then…."
"Please….," Raven touched his shoulder lightly. "….you don't have to defend me."
"That's exactly it!!" Cyborg uttered, gesturing. "I don't have to defend you, Rae!! The dang fish-dawg shouldn't be bringing you into this. Or Beast Boy and Starfire for that matter." A beat. "Or you, Noir."
"…….," I gazed at the floor. The envelope still hidden.
He looked directly at me. His eyes almost pleading. "I mean…..he's totally off the cuff. Nobody's that desperate over going after Dagger and all anymore…..right?"
"………….."
"J-Jordan….," he uttered intimately. Breathily. "…we….we are on the same page….aren't we? Titan Leader and number one? Terra's gone….she's…..sh-she's gone………r-right?"
I took a shuddering breath. I drew a hand shakily across my face and shades.
I stuck the envelope into my back pocket.
I brought both hands up.
I signed: 'I do not know what the same page is for us anymore, Cyborg.'
"………."
"………."
Both he and Raven were silent.
I sighed. 'I do not know what the Titans are anymore. I absolutely do not know……'
I turned around, and stumbled tiredly down the cold hallway.
Leaving the two alone…
…again.
-T-T-T-T-T-T-
Outside, it was cold.
Windy.
Gray.
The perfect depression of dying November.
Tempest stood halfway down the land ridge.
On the edge of the rock bluffs.
Overlooking the lapping, shallow waters.
His hands in his casual wear pockets.
"…….."
Footsteps.
He looked up, his long dark hair waving in the breeze.
I stood a few feet across from him. My hands also in my pockets.
My hair….
We looked like sick twin brothers….minus the scars and shades/white irises.
He stared at me for a few seconds. He then blinked, sighed, and shook his head. "I dunno what's my problem. I just…."
A beat.
I leaned my head to the side.
He gazed out at the waters. The banished world beneath the waves. The dry land beneath him that was already growing increasingly forbidden.
"…..ever since I learned I could swim again, I felt something like…..l-like a rebirth. I could just as well have been stepping out of the waves and onto these detestable beaches of sand and asphalt all over again. Only—in a brief glance—it wasn't so detestable anymore. I felt like I mattered more than the 'pity Titan'. I felt like I was more special than some cursed shell of Slizzath. I looked out….and I found friends. Not just her. But everyone. Everyone that I thought were….heheh….stupid before…."
My lips curved helplessly. But briefly.
A beat.
I walked over and stood quietly at his side.
He took a deep breath and kicked a pebble into the waters.
Plop!
Tempest swallowed. He said: "I know you're a close buddy to him, Noir. But Cyborg isn't doing this team right. He thinks he is. He think he's protecting all of you. But he lacks the recklessness that made Robin the hero leader." He looked at me. "He lacks the balls……..literally."
"……….."
"……….heheheheheh."
I chuckled.
He laughed.
I snickered….ignoring the manner of the particular joke.
If it was a 'joke'.
I looked up at the gray skies. The gray City. Everything that had supposedly healed and yet still felt wounded.
What kind of 'joke' is all this?
"I thought I came here to be a Titan….," Tempest murmured. "And just when I finally got a hold of my gills in this dry-as-a-rock place….I realized that everything around me has changed. What was once noble is now hollow and dull. Like a blade that refuses to cut. Where will the Titans be if they refuse to trace the blood left by Robin's massacre? Yes…they may be without enemies. But they'll be without happiness and soundness of mind too." He looked at me with a perplexed face. "Your friends…they all knew this 'Terra' girl. They loved her from the bottom of their hearts. And now…..now that one of them is dead….Cyborg thinks that should keep them from going all the way and finding the last living member of their 'family'?"
"…….."
Tempest sighed and gazed out at the waters again. "Tula is dead. And I now know that—because of that—I will never stand staying still in a slowly bleeding world. And if being here….if being with the Titans means letting the earth bleed…..well…."
"……."
He looked at me. "I'm not alone, am I, Noir?"
I bit my lip.
"You're leaving too, aren't you?"
I took a sharp breath.
"Well….," he flexed his legs and took his hands out of his pockets. "…the trick is not to hesitate. You only grow weaker by hobbling around in circles. You taught me that."
I rubbed my neck.
So I did.
"Find something, Noir…," he murmured. "Find a way to…..make the family whole. And no….I don't count. I guess Cyborg has made that clear."
I swallowed. I reached out towards him with an earnest face.
He looked at me. Deadpan. Then…..a small, feathery smile. "Maybe I'll return, Noir. Maybe I won't. But I know one truth now. Even if I am to leave….I don't abandon. Just like you….I've got people to hold true to." And he looked ahead with a firm face. "And more than ever….I've got to go see her now."
SWOOOSH!!
SPLASH!!!
And the fish was gone.
"……..," I lowered my hand. My lips were parted. For beyond the splash and ripples, I was looking Eastward towards some bleak and dead horizon.
And I felt for the first time like I had run into a wall.
So this is it……
I stood pale and numb on the land ridge.
Against the November winds over the Bay.
This is how all that was once glorious and promising ends.
I instinctively clutched the scar over my throat.
The family was born……and died, Ana.
I lowered my black eyes.
We never were whole to begin with it.
Robin was everything.
And I……
I was not enough.
I was not enough to do the job.
The Titans are no more.
One by one……starting with Tempest……we are falling apart.
I turned around.
Facing the Tower.
It looked like a gray, withering crucifix.
But after Tempest, who is next?
A beat.
I shuddered.
I exhaled.
Digging my flesh and metal hands into my pocket……I marched lonesomely towards the Tower.
Idiot……
I became a small speck against the body of the island.
You already know the answer to that……
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The Sun was setting.
I walked slowly…slowly….
Slowly to the doors of Titan's Tower.
I had my hands in my pockets still.
I was eyeing the ground through my shades.
Silent.
Deflated.
Alone.
"…………."
And when I reached the huge doors to the Tower….
There was a white envelope.
"……..???"
I craned my neck.
A white envelope??
The item in question rested wedged in a groove of the huge, metal doors.
Its end flapped in the cold, misty wind of the Bayside island.
"……….," I whipped my hand back and felt my rear pocket for stupidity's sake.
My envelope was still there.
Nope……I didn't do it……
I spun and looked down the land ridge.
No one.
Although…
I could swear I saw the distant speck of a car driving into oblivion.
"…….."
I turned around.
I eyed the envelope.
A beat.
With a weary breath, I knelt down.
I picked it up.
I stood up again…and turned it over.
The 'address' on the front chilled me to a standstill.
'To he who still has a contract to finish.'
I felt a shiver run up from my metal limb.
I gritted my teeth.
I slowly….slowly ripped the envelope open.
I tore the paper apart.
There was a folded sheet of paper inside.
Folded in a very familiar fashion…
I slid it out.
I opened it up.
And…..
My black eyes read:
'Dear Noir,'
'It is not the end. You know this, don't you? Because—in spite of all that is lost and all that is crumbling apart—there are still questions left to be answered. There are still souls left to be found. There is a family yet to be saved……'
"………," I trembled.
I took a deep breath.
I continued down the page:
'……Robin is dead. But you are not. And right now, everything rests on you. As it has always rested on you during these last few months of tribulation. You have the desire to do something for the Titans. But you do not know where to go. And you do not know what to do.'
'Life is nothing but an ever-evolving hard act to follow. But even you know that life must come full circle. For as much the Good as for the Bad……'
My lips parted.
A new breath came to me.
I scanned down to the bottom of the message.
'……For what you need to manifest destiny, come to 7472 Agatha Lane. Apartment 712. Downtown. Come alone……though I suspect that you are already alone. Which is fine. Though you may start alone, you will arrive stronger. You will return with her. You know who I speak of.'
'Come now, I await you.'
'Sincerely,'
'a humble messenger.'
And the letter ended.
"…….," I looked up towards the City. Exhaling.
A humble……messenger??
A beat.
I glanced back at the Tower.
But……But……
"……"
I took a deep breath.
I crumpled the note.
I shoved it in my pocket.
And….I started hurrying towards the City.
But….
But not without leaving another envelope in the surprise one's place….
-T-T-T-T-T-T-
Beast Boy sat on the edge of his upper bunkbed, hugging his knees to his chest. Rocking back and forth.
"You think….th-they'll make up? That they'll forget the argument ever happened and just….be normal teammates again?"
Starfire smiled gently. "I am almost certain of it. Cyborg has always been one to share the hotness of the head. Poor Tempest has not had many chances to bear witness to that up until now."
"Yeah….b-but Star….," Beast Boy shuddered. "You heard the stuff Cyborg said. He was really….really chewing Tempest out. And vice versa too! Man….what's happening to us to make everything so….so ugly?"
"But not everything is ugly…," Starfire held her hands behind her back. Gently, she rose up and hovered so that she was at face-level with the elevated elf. She winked. "Cyborg's hot head has Raven to cool it."
"……," Beast Boy blinked. Then he smiled and giggled helplessly. Rocking back and resting his hands on the bed behind him. "I guess if Raven's chosen to go steady with ANYONE…..that's a sign that Heaven's closer than Armageddon or something."
"Hehehehe," Starfire cupped her hands to her cheeks and cooed: "They are so cuuuuuuute."
"Yikes. Ever wondered if they had a baby together??"
"Hmmm?"
"I can't imagine a kid who's half circuitry and half spider webs!!"
"Beast Boyyyy," Starfire playfully shoved the changeling's shoulder. "You are indeed cruel!!"
"Hehehehehe! What? Not my baby!!"
"Heeeee!!"
Then….
A chiming sound from Beast Boy's computer.
"Hmmm?" Starfire looked over. Blinking her green eyes. "Does your computer suddenly wish to partake in our conversation?"
"That's an e-mail alert!" Beast Boy hopped down from the bunk bed and scampered over. "Probably S.T.A.R. Labs with a report on Cyborg's uncle!"
"Glorious! I forgot how they agreed to house his Construct!" Starfire leaned over Beast Boy as the elf typed away at the computer. "Please hurry! I impatiently await the tidings of E's Mail!"
"Hold on….it's from a screenname I don't recognize…," Beast Boy muttered. A keystroke. A click of the mouse. Then…. "InzeUltima??"
"I beg your pardon?"
Beast Boy gestured at the e-mail. "Just who in the heck is ??"
"……..," Starfire's face scrunched up. "'Inze'……I recognize that name….."
"You do?"
Starfire snapped her finger, exploding a tiny starbolt. Flash! "Of the course!! Kara!!"
"Supergirl???"
"Heeee!!" Starfire leaned in to the monitor. "Greetings, benevolent Argosian hater of brassiers!!"
"Star---" Beast Boy shoved her back. "At least let me read what she has to say. Jeez."
"Hehehe!"
"Ahem…," Beast Boy's eyes fell across the screen. "'Dear Titans. Anyone who can hear me. Please. This is important. I just got talking to Noir last night and….-'" He paused. Blinking.
Starfire was reading too. Her lips parted. "X'Hal…."
"Dude….no way…."
-T-T-T-T-T-T-
"I just can't let this sit, Rae. I'm gonna….I-I'm gonna have a meeting later tonight…"
Raven slowly finished her sip of herbal tea. She daintily placed the cup down onto its saucer. "What about?"
Cyborg leaned against the kitchen counter of the Main Room across from her. He had his titanium arms folded besides a mug of steaming brew. He shook his head, sighed, and looked up at the dark girl. "About earlier. Tempest was right…darn him. We can't go on living like this. I still think going on Dagger's trail right now is a bad idea. Terra or no Terra. But I at least should…ya know….."
"Be a leader and talk it over with everyone?" Raven smirked, sipping again.
"Y-Yeah….," Cyborg sighed. "But….it's tough."
"Mmmmhmmmm."
"How did Robin ever manage getting people around for such talks?"
"Simple…," Raven waved her hand. "He was honest."
Cyborg winced. "Heh….," he simpered. "You think I've been dishonest lately, Raven?"
She placed a gentle hand on his metal wrist. "If at all….only to yourself….."
"……," he looked up at her.
"……," she looked back. Her lips curved ever so slightly. A touch of sweetness.
He smiled gently back. Then a sigh through his nostrils as he leaned back and rubbed the human part of his head. "You think Tempest is gonna…ya know…go back after all this?"
Raven lifted the cup again…but paused. She stared into nothingness for a few moments of concentration before breathing: "I don't know, Cyborg. He's very…..cloudy."
"Yeah….," the android Titan grumbled. At himself. "I can't blame him."
"Heh."
"Maybe Noir will save all our asses again by talking him out of it," Cyborg chuckled.
"……..," Raven froze twice as much. She gazed into her nothingness again, but this time felt something. Her lips parted and her teacup nearly spilled over.
Instantly concerned, Cyborg leaned forward. "What, Raven??"
"……."
"What is it?"
Her searching violet eyes finally found them. And they were round and concave. "No, V-Victor….," she murmured.
He blinked.
She swallowed. "Noir……." And Raven sadly shook her head.
Cyborg was mute.
-T-T-T-T-T-T-
-Ding!-
7472 Agatha Lane.
The Calvin Towers.
West of Downtown.
The elevator doors opened.
In casual clothes, I walked into the hallway of the seventh floor.
The place was dimly lit.
I glanced left.
I caught the back end of a wealthy-looking woman walking her dog into her flat and—Thwap! Shutting the door.
"…….."
I glanced right.
A solid line of doorways.
Their numbers counted up.
I walked down them.
Eyeing each one through my shades.
'706'
'708'
'710'
Two spaces before a window to a dark-gray night.
I came to a stop.
Apartment 712.
"……."
I took a deep breath.
A beat.
I glanced down at the doorknob.
"……."
I reached for it—
But stopped.
The door was already cracked open.
And from inside, I heard in a sickeningly hoarse voice:
"Come in, Noir……"
"…………"
Okay……
I opened the door.
Slowly.
Creeeeak.
I walked in.
-T-T-T-T-T-T-
I stood in the front of a lavish, loft apartment.
White carpeting and white walls.
Transparent, glass tables and ornate furniture.
A bar with steel stools looking like some leftover detritus from the 80s.
But all very…very expensive.
And seemingly well-earned.
"……." I stood mutely, not sure what to look for.
And that same hoarse voice whispered: "Close the door……please……"
I bit my lip.
I quietly complied.
Creeeeak.
Thump.
"L-Lock it."
"………"
I looked at the door.
There were four rows of bolt locks on it.
I slowly, hesitantly shut them.
Fastening the door in place.
And…
I slowly turned around.
And scanned the room with my shaded eyes.
And my lips parted.
There was a writer's workbench…or at least the barely visible structure of a workbench. It was covered all over with a rain forest's vomit of papers, files, documents, fax sheets.
I slowly paced across the room, closely eyeing the mess.
Polaroid photographs appeared across the table.
Grotesque photographs.
Images of bloody, hacked leftovers of bodies. Lying side by side against warehouse walls splattered with blood. Crimson lines on metal reading 'S-T-R-O-K-E' and 'D-E-A-T-H' in the flare of a camera flash. Images of dead animal carcasses in zoo cages. Security feed from the psych ward of a hospital, full of patients writhing in mid-scream.
And there were words.
And numbers.
'Pier 4146'.
'Pier 7123.'
'Gotham City.'
'Gotham Chemical Works.'
'Red.'
'Felix Lighthouse.'
'Matt Hagan.'
'Aviary.'
And I kept walking.
And as my eyes wandered.
So did the insane piles of paper.
Away from the desk.
To adjoining chairs and tables.
Things growing in ferocity and chronological input.
'Omega Wing.'
'Jinx.'
'Carbonite.'
'H.I.V.E.'
'Wildebeest.'
'Damien Darhk.'
'Pulsade.'
'Bumblebee.'
'J.'
I blinked.
J???
P-Pulsade??
My eyes and body moved further. Up onto couches. Chairs. A schizophrenic mosaic of interconnected idiosyncrasies.
'Dagger.'
'Lexcorp.'
'Triangular.'
'Nevada.'
'Jacob. A.'
'Viper.'
'Radioactive Depository.'
I shuddered to a stop.
Staring.
Until….I slowly became aware of a beeping sound to my left.
And a hissing voice in the middle of it.
I turned.
I looked.
My eyebrow rose.
I shifted around.
I walked over towards what turned out to be a bed. A bed decked out with stands full of health-monitoring equipment. Breathing apparatuses. Various gadgetry tracing a single heartbeat.
"In order for the Sky to turn red," the voice enthusiastically hissed. "…the Earth must bleed."
"……," I craned my head as I came around the side of the bed.
I stared.
"By his breath they freeze, by his breath they die," a pale old thing with hoses connected to his mouth and nose hissed as he lie there. "Smoke and mirrors is what keeps him alive."
"…….???" I stood over the stranger, utterly confused.
A shaking hand rose up to his face. He slowly peeled the hoses back. Blake Glover looked at me with a dying grin.
My lips parted.
Glover???
"Glad you c-could come, Noir…..hero….," he wheezed. A sickly smile. "The time is short. We have lots to talk about…."