CHAPTER 11
Embry POV:
Things had settled down a little between Leah and me. We had developed a comfortable kind of friendship . . . with benefits. We hung out and talked, we went to the beach, we patrolled and we made out, but not quite as aggressively. Although I knew Leah was holding back. I could tell she didn't want anything more emotionally from me, but physically she was hot! It took everything I had to keep from letting her go. I didn't know how many more cold showers I could stand. I was so close to just giving in, but I couldn't take the chance of losing her. I felt more than friendship for her. I knew that. But I didn't want to try to talk to her about it again. I knew she didn't want to hear it. So, we were trying hard to take it easy and just enjoy being together.
I was patrolling with Quil one night and couldn't get Leah out of my head, as usual. "Things are getting hot between you and Leah, bro! Can you think about something else?"
"Sorry, Quil. Man, how do you do it? Don't you ever think about being with a girl? I mean, I know you love Claire and all, but, come on, you're still a dude! You could make out with girls now, and she'd never know."
"Yea, I know. But as soon as I imprinted on Claire, it's like, other girls just don't exist for me. It's weird really. I mean, you know how I used to be. I loved looking at babes! I really liked kissing the few girls I actually had a chance to be with. But, now, I don't know. It's just turned off for now, I guess. I'm content to wait."
"Glad it was you, bro, and not me. I'm having way too much fun!" Quil tried very hard to concentrate on Claire playing on the beach to shut me out. She was cute, but man, to have to wait for like 14 or 15 years to even kiss a girl? That would be hell for me.
I was telling Jake about that the next day in the garage. "Yea, I don't get it. Why would he imprint on someone so young? Doesn't make any sense. I mean, he's great with her. And he seems to be handling it OK, I guess," Jake said.
"Hand me that socket wrench, will ya?" I asked Jake. He put it in my hand and I went back to work. "Yea, better him than me, that's all I gotta say." Jake laughed and added, "Me, too. I love being with Bella, in every way."
I looked over at him and saw that grin on his face. I smiled and stood up. "You crack me up. All those times I tried to set you up on dates, and you were too scared to go. Then Bella came back and you were too in love with her to see straight. Now look at you. You're getting more action than I am!"
He laughed. "Well, I guess I'm glad I didn't go, Embry. I'm glad I waited for Bella. She's all I ever wanted. Sometimes it scares me, you know? Like I'll wake up, and it will all have been a dream or something, and she'll be gone."
"Yea, no chance of that, Jake. You guys are 'imprints' remember? Mates for life. At least you know that," I said. I bent back down to finish what I was working on.
"That still bugs you, doesn't it?" Jake asked.
"Me, yea, a little. But for Leah? It's all she thinks about. It's killing me, dude." I stood up and said, "Jake, she is all over me! She wants me all the time, but I keep holding back. And I don't know how much longer I can hold out. I can't take any more cold showers!"
"So, why are you holding back? I mean, dude, it is so . . . well . . . it's . . ."
"Jake, are you blushing? Come on!"
He rolled his eyes and grinned. "It's fucking awesome, Embry. I mean it."
We laughed and I shoved him out of the way so I could get to the bench. "Geez, Jake. Find something else to do, will ya? I gotta get this done and get out of here."
He said, "OK. I need to run into town and get some parts. I'll be back."
"Yea, whatever. Take your time!" I called after him. This conversation was getting to me. I needed to think about something else – like NOW!
Jake had been gone for maybe 15 minutes. I was behind the truck working when I heard Leah call out, "Embry? You here?"
"Yea, back here, babe," I answered. She walked around the truck and said, "Brought you some cookies."
I looked up with a grin to see her standing there holding out a plastic Ziploc bag of cookies. "Awesome! I was just thinking about getting a snack. Let me clean up a little." I got up and went to the hose outside the garage. We were too lazy to walk all the way to the house, so we kept some Lava soap by the hose so we could wash our hands when we needed to. I cleaned the grease off as best I could and dried them off. I walked back into the garage to find Leah looking at Jake's motorcycle.
"You ever been on a bike?" I asked her. She looked at me over her shoulder, smiled and said, "Nope." She held out the bag of cookies for me and I dug in. "Oh man, Leah, these are good," I said with my mouth full. "Thanks."
"You're welcome. I'm glad you like them." She handed me the bag and I took another cookie out.
"You want to go for a ride?" I asked her.
"What? On that?" she said as she looked at the motorcycle. "I don't know," she said slowly. She was thinking about it, I could see she was.
"Come on. Bella has one, too, that one," I said as I pointed to the other motorcycle, "but she never rides it. She says she likes to ride with Jake because he goes a lot faster than she would. So, she told me to take it out whenever I want. Jake and I go riding sometimes. Come on, Leah. It'll be fun! You can borrow Bella's helmet."
She just stood there and looked at me. Then a slow smile crept on her face. "OK, let's go before I change my mind!"
"Alright!" I put the bag of cookies down on the bench and grabbed Bella's helmet. I pushed the bike out of the garage and held the helmet out to Leah.
She looked at me and said, "Where's yours? Oh wait, you're too cool for one of these, right?"
I laughed and said, "Oh, way too cool. Bella wears it because her Dad insists. Up to you, Leah."
"I'm way too cool, too." I laughed and put the helmet in on the ground. She pulled her hair back and secured it with the elastic band she always had on her wrist for just that purpose.
I climbed on the bike and started it up. "Hop on!" I yelled over the engine. She grinned and climbed on behind me. "Hold on tight, Leah!" She wrapped her arms around my waist and I took off.
Once I got to the road, I opened it up a little and got up to about 50 mph. We were tooling down the road when Leah yelled, "Is this all the faster this thing goes? Come on, Grandpa! Crank it up!" I laughed and hit the throttle until we were flying down the road at 70 mph. This road ran along the water and it was pretty straight with no hills. It was my favorite stretch of road. We rode around the reservation for almost an hour then I headed back to the garage. I pulled to a stop and shut off the engine. I saw Jake's car and hoped he wouldn't be pissed that I took a break.
Leah climbed off the bike then I did, too. "Embry that was awesome! Thank you so much for taking me. I loved the speed! I know why Bella would rather ride than drive." Her smile lit up her whole face. I loved seeing her so happy.
"We can go again, anytime. I don't mind riding around LaPush with a hot chick hanging on to me," I said.
She laughed and rolled her eyes. I pushed the bike back into the garage and parked it. "Nice ride?" Jake asked.
"It was awesome, Jake! I loved it. Thanks, Embry," she said to me. She put her arms around me and hugged me.
"Sure," I said. "Now I need to get back to the rotors on this truck."
"OK. Enjoy the cookies. And share some with Jake," she said as she leaned forward to kiss me. I grabbed her and gave her a real kiss.
"See ya later?" I asked softly.
"Definitely," she answered. "Bye Jake!" she called as she walked out of the garage.
"See ya, Leah!" Jake called after her. "So, taking her out on the bike. Fun, isn't it?" he said with a grin.
"Uh yea! Having her arms wound around my waist, and her boobs pressed against my back. No wonder you like taking Bella out on the bike."
He laughed. "Yea, it's pretty sweet."
I went back to work, but it was hard to concentrate. I kept seeing her face all lit up with that smile. I loved being the one that could put that smile there.
We were hanging out at her house the next afternoon, watching a movie on TV. It was a crappy day outside, and I didn't have any work to do at Jake's. Her mom was working and Seth was out with some of his friends. We were laying on the couch together, she in the front and me behind with my arm draped over her. Being this close and inhaling her scent was driving me crazy. Strawberries and sunshine. I leaned forward to kiss her neck. My hand was on her stomach and I inched her shirt up to lay my hand on her skin. She sighed and leaned back into me, turning her face toward me. I stopped kissing her neck and put my lips on hers. That's all it took to ignite the fire. She turned to face me and the kissing intensified to a dangerous level quickly. I knew I needed to pull back, but I was having a hard time. And then she whispered against my lips, "Let's go up to my room, Embry. Please?"
What? Did she just ask me to go to her room? Oh God, help me!
"Baby, I don't know. What if Seth or your Mom come home?" I asked, hoping that would calm her down.
"I don't care, Embry. I want you and I'm tired of you stopping me all of the time. I'm on the pill, Embry. You don't have to worry about me getting pregnant," she said quickly as she got off of the couch and took my hand and pulled. I sat up and tried to decide. I wanted her so much it hurt! I looked up at her. She had on a purple tank top and short blue jean shorts. Why does she have to be so damn sexy? I did what every other guy on the planet would do. I stood up and scooped her up into my arms and took the stairs two at a time. "Which way?"
"Down the hall, second on the left," she said. I walked into her room and closed the door with my foot. I set her on her feet and put my mouth and hands all over her. She peeled my shirt off and threw it on the floor. I did the same with her. She ran her hands all over my shoulders and back. I put my lips on her throat and whispered, "Leah, we shouldn't do this. You have to stop me . . ." As an answer, she pulled away from me and unzipped her shorts and pulled them down and they hit the floor. She stood there in front of me in only her bra and bikini underwear. I went crazy! I pulled her to me and kissed her, devoured her really. She reached for my shorts and undid the button and the zipper and she pushed them and they fell to the floor. We stood there in our underwear, lost in the feeling of desire for one another. She let go of me, took my hand and led me to the bed. She scooted back on the bed and pulled me down with her. I want her so bad. How long can I hang on? Our lips met and I reached around behind her and unhooked her bra. I pulled back and looked down at her. She reached up and pulled the bra away from her and threw it on the floor. I leaned down and kissed her neck and made a trail down to her . . . oh they are so perfect. I kissed and touched and she arched her back and moaned. "Embry, please! Don't stop this time. I can't take it anymore!" I moved up to kiss her lips and I ran my hands over her and she dug into my shoulders with her nails. Oh that feels so good!
She pulled her underwear down and looked at me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered, "Please, Embry, make love to me." Then her lips were on mine, gently teasing me . . .
I couldn't refuse. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I pulled down my boxers and whispered, "Are you sure, baby?" She nodded and I moved on top of her. She wrapped her legs around me and whispered, "Yes, yes!" That's all it took. I entered her too quickly, I was too anxious. I knew I should take it slow, but I couldn't. I knew it would hurt her first time, but she didn't seem to mind. She was moving with me and I could feel the heat building between us until I couldn't hold back any longer. I had been holding back for so long that it was so amazing to finally let go! I couldn't stop shaking. That was fucking awesome! I can't believe I kept stopping her. What is wrong with me? Jake was so right.
"I'm so sorry, Leah. I couldn't help it," I panted in her ear. "I wanted to take it slower, but I couldn't. I heard that it hurts the first time for a girl. I didn't hurt you, did I, baby?"
She was very quiet for a moment then she said softly, "No, Embry, not at all."
I rolled to the side and we both tried to catch our breath. I turned my head to look at her and she had her eyes closed. I had no idea what was going through her mind. Instantly, I was afraid. What if she regrets this and won't talk to me, or see me? I should have stopped her.
I rolled to my side to look at her. I reached out and touched her cheek. "Leah? Baby, are you OK?" I asked quietly.
She opened her eyes and smiled at me. "Yes, I'm fine. Wow. That was . . . fucking awesome."
I laughed. "That's exactly the same words that came to my mind. You're not sorry we did it?"
"Embry, I've been practically raping you for weeks! Hell, no I'm not sorry. Are you?"
I gave a short laugh and looked in her eyes to say, "No. I should be, but I'm not. You know how I feel about you, Leah. I lov . . ." She looked at me and quickly put her hand over my mouth. "Don't say it, Embry. Don't ruin this, OK?" Her eyes pleaded with me.
I couldn't help it. I was instantly hot. I propped myself up on my elbow and yelled, "Ruin it? Are you fucking serious?" Oh my God, Leah! You asked me to make LOVE to you! And that's what I did. Or is this just sex to you? Do you feel nothing for me?" That made her angry. I could see the fire come into her eyes!
She sat up and pulled the pillow in front of her. "No, it's not JUST sex, Embry. I knew you would do this! Why can't it be just what it was? It was fun, it was amazing! It felt so good to be free and just feel for once and not analyze everything to death. God, why do you have to do that?" She threw the pillow down and got up and began searching for her clothes.
"Leah, what the hell is wrong with you? Why can I have sex with you but not love you? That doesn't make any sense." I sat up and threw my legs over the edge of the bed. "Leah! Talk to me!"
She had her underwear and bra back on and she turned and put her hands on her hips and said "Look. I'm sorry. I'm just not ready for that yet, OK? You know that. I guess this was a mistake." She hung her head.
"Yea, I guess it was." I got out of the bed and reached down for my clothes. I pulled on my boxers and shorts and put my t-shirt back on as I ran downstairs then grabbed my shoes. I went to the door and slammed it on my way out. I can't believe her. What the fuck is going on here? I jumped into the truck and took off. I will NEVER understand that girl. NEVER!
Leah POV:
Why did he have to do that? Why can't he be like every other guy on the planet and be happy? I mean, he's not a virgin anymore! Isn't that a big thing for a guy? I laid back on the bed and felt the tears coming. Why was I acting like such a slut? I remembered the night that Sam and I made love on the beach. It was beautiful and romantic, exactly like your first time should be. That was my first time. My only time until now. This was Embry's first time and I felt guilty that I deprived him of that. I felt like I forced him into it. That's not how a first time should be. I also felt horribly guilty because he thought this was my first time and I hadn't denied it. Why did he think that? God, how was I going to tell him that it wasn't?
I put my clothes on and went downstairs. I looked at the phone. I wanted to call him and apologize. But I couldn't. Not yet. Maybe later. But I would have to make this up to him. Because, whether I liked it or not, I did have feelings for him. Strong feelings. And I was going to have to face it sooner or later.