CHAPTER 17

Embry POV:

I fell asleep beside Leah, and I was out! I have no idea how long I slept, but when I woke up, Leah was gone. Where the hell did she go? I decided I better go find her. I got up and left the bedroom. The house was unusually quiet. I walked out to the kitchen and didn't see anyone. That was creepy! Emily was always around the kitchen somewhere. I walked out to the front porch and there was Leah, sitting on the porch swing. She must have borrowed some clothes from Emily because she was no longer wearing the nightgown. She had on a short sleeved plaid blouse and a pair of jeans, but she was barefoot. I was still just in my shorts. Typical werewolf uniform!

"Hey! You left me all alone in there!" I said as I walked to the swing and sat down.

She smiled and said, "Sorry. I woke up and felt like getting some air. Look! My arm is healed!" She moved it around to show me.

"Great! How's your headache?" I asked.

"Mostly gone. I still feel a little groggy. That's why I wanted the fresh air. And some tea," she said as she held up a cup with a tea bag in it. "I was hungry again, too, so I had a sandwich."

I put my arm around her and pulled her close. I pushed with my foot to make the swing sway back and forth gently. "It is nice out here, isn't it?"

She nodded. We sat there quietly swinging, just enjoying the moment.

After a while, Sam came out on the porch and said, "Oh, here you are! Wondered where you went."

"I just needed some fresh air. Emily still sleeping?" Leah asked.

Sam nodded and stretched his arms out over his head with a yawn then put them down. "Man it was a long night. I am glad they got the last one this morning, cause we got a wedding to get ready for! It's only a couple of weeks, now." he said with a grin.

Geez Sam! Rub it in. I looked at Leah right away. She surprised me by smiling and saying, "Oh that reminds me. Emily asked me to be her maid of honor. I want to say yes, but I wanted to make sure you were OK with that, Sam. Are you?" What? Maid of honor? She never told me that!

Sam looked down at the floor for a moment then back at Leah. "Yea. It's OK with me. Are YOU sure?"

Leah got up from the swing and stood in front of Sam. She took a deep breath and looked up at him and said, "Yes, I really am. I am finally past this, Sam, and I am so sorry for all of the misery it caused for all three of us. What you and I had was very special, and I will always remember it that way. But you and Emily belong together. I know that now." She wrapped her arms around his waist and he pulled her close. God, that's hard to watch. I have this insane feeling to rip his fucking hands off of her! "Thanks Leah," I heard him said softly. He let her go and she turned to me.

"I know that because I have this hot stud over here who thinks he's in love with me!" She turned back to Sam and asked, "Can you imagine that? How lucky am I to catch the biggest ladies' man this place has ever seen?"

He cracked up at that one. I stood up and smiled at her and said, "You think you're pretty cute, don't you?"

"Yea, I do. And apparently, so do you!" She laughed. I pulled her close and kissed her. That shut her up!

"Hey guys. I'm OK with this, really I am. But, don't hurt each other, you know? I hate to have to say it, but as Alpha, I have to say that it wouldn't be good for the pack to go through that again."

We both nodded at that.

"Well, Embry. Looks like I'm in need of a best man. You up for the job, bro?" Sam asked me.

Did I hear him right? Best man? I stammered, "What? Me?"

"Uh, yea! You're my brother. I want you there with me. You OK with that?" he asked with a big smile.

Wow. My brother is asking me to be his best man. Yea, I'm really OK with that! "Uh, yea, sure! I would be happy to do that! Thanks, Sam," I answered.

"No problem. Just don't show up without the ring, or I'll kick your ass!" he said as he tousled my hair.

I rolled my eyes and Leah laughed.

"I'm going to get a sandwich or something. Man, I'm always hungry!" he said as he turned and walked into the house.

I sat back down on the swing. I can't believe that Sam asked ME to be his best man. I still wasn't used to thinking of Sam as my big brother. It was pretty cool.

"You OK?" Leah asked as she sat back down beside me. "Best man, huh?"

"Yea, can you believe that? Me? Blew me away, man." I shook my head in amazement.

"Well, you are his brother, Embry. Did you forget that?" she asked.

"Yea, sometimes I do. I mean, I'm not used to it yet, you know?"

"Well, I think it's great. You're the best man, and I'm the maid of honor. A few weeks ago if you had told me that, I would have popped you one. No way I ever saw any of this coming." She laughed and said, "Sam and I talked about that the other night on the beach. We thought how strange it was that he was with my cousin, and I'm with his brother!"

"You and Sam talked? On the beach? When?" I asked her. Why didn't she tell me that either?

She looked down and said quietly, "After you and I talked and you left. You know, when you told me to leave you alone. She paused and looked back up. "Sam came to check on you and found me crying. He sat down and we had a really good talk. I think we both needed it, you know, for me to move on."

"Really. Hmmm." I looked off of the porch into the woods.

She put her hand on my arm and asked, "Embry? What's wrong?"

"Nothing." No, it wasn't nothing! "When were you going to tell me about that?" I looked over at her and added, "Or were you?"

Her eyes grew wide and she said, "What? I would have, but we had a little vampire problem interrupt things, if you remember correctly. Are you upset because I talked to Sam?" Her hand dropped from my arm.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't' know. Kind of."

She shook her head and said, "What is up with you, Embry? I thought you would be happy that I talked to Sam. It was good for us to talk. We got a lot of things out that needed to be said. But we spent most of the time talking about you."

"Me? Why?" I asked with surprise.

"Because you were so pissed at me and I couldn't think of anything else! I was crying my eyes out over you! And, I was trying to figure out what was going on with us. I mean, it was really weird talking to Sam, of all people, about it, but he made me look at this differently. I mean, the physical part, you know? It's been . . ."

I cut her off with, "You talked to my brother about us . . . being 'physical?' Did you tell him that we had sex?" Oh my God, I can't believe this!

"Well, um, I didn't mean to, but yea, he knows," she admitted sheepishly. I was instantly pissed! I ran my hands through my hair, but before I could say anything, she went on, "But listen! He said he should have known because of the wolf thing. It seems that after we phase, we all become more physical, sexually. He said all of the guys have talked about it. It made me feel a little better because I have felt like such a slut lately. That's not me, Embry! The way I forced you to . . . "

"God, Leah, will you stop talking like you raped me? I can't take that anymore! I'm a man, Leah. I wanted you. OK? Can we please acknowledge that fact?" She nodded. I lowered my voice and said, "He's my brother, Leah. How can I face him knowing that he knows what we have been doing? He loved you, for God's sake! This has to be hard on him. I know it's killing me just knowing you talked to him without telling me, and seeing him put that kiss on you this morning? I can't imagine how I would feel to know that you slept with him!"

She closed her eyes and got real quiet. She put her head down. I shook my head. What a fucking idiot I am. "Oh God, Leah. You did, didn't you. You slept with him. You had sex with my brother!" I got up and took a few steps away from the swing. I couldn't be near her right now. I felt rage going through me and I didn't want to do anything stupid.

She got up and walked up behind me and said quickly, "Embry, you know that was a long time ago. It only happened once, and it was right before he phased for the first time. I loved him, Embry! It just happened!"

She loved him. She LOVED him. Not me. I felt my whole body shaking. You did it with Sam because you loved him." I turned to look at her and said, "Why did you do it with me, Leah? Because you wanted me, you needed to be with me. Because you just wanted to fuck me?"I yelled. I just looked at her and all of a sudden I was physically sick. "I'm out of here!" I turned and ran for the truck.

"Embry! Stop it! Come back here!" she shouted after me.

I jumped in the truck, started the engine and slammed it in gear. I threw dirt and stones all over as I tore out of the driveway. I drove down the road about a mile and had to stop. I opened the door and puked my guts out. When I finished I laid my forehead on the steering wheel. Why can't she love me like she loved Sam? Why?

Leah POV:

Oh my God! What have I done? I watched him run and get in the truck and tear out of the drive. The tears ran down my face. What am I going to do? I can't let him go! I ran down the steps, but knew I couldn't catch him.

Emily walked out onto the porch and saw me. "Leah? What's wrong? Where's Embry going?" she asked as she walked over to me.

I watched his truck drive down the road. "He's gone. He . . . is really upset with me, Emily."

She put her arm around me and asked, "I can't believe that. I watched him sit with you all night. He refused to leave your side for one minute! He loves you, baby girl. He's got it bad!"

I turned to her and said, "Yea, I know. That's the problem. He loves me, Emily. I know he does. But I've been holding back because I'm so afraid. And . . . I was trying to tell him that I had feelings for him, and that I want to let go and love him. But, I told him that I had talked to Sam about it, and . . . well, that's when he got pissed."

She smiled and said, "Sam told me the two of you talked. He said he thought it was a good talk. That you both needed it to move on. I guess Embry didn't take it the same way?" He told her? I wondered if he told her everything.

I shook my head. "It's not just the talk, Emily. I hadn't told him that . . . " I closed my eyes. How could I say this to her? "Embry thought I was a virgin when we . . . had sex. He just found out I wasn't. I let him know that Sam and I did it once. A long time ago right before he phased. I'm sorry, Emily."

She didn't looked shocked! She calmly said, "I know, Leah. Sam told me when we first got together. I already suspected. I mean, I know you two really loved each other."

"Yea, that's Embry's point! I said that I did that with Sam because I loved him. I did it with Embry once, but because I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to have sex with him, Emily. It was pure lust. Sam told me that we are more physical now that we phase. Cause, I know it wasn't like that with Sam and me, you know? I wasn't like that at all. But, I do have feelings for Embry. God, I've made this such a mess!" I felt like I was falling apart again. God, I hated this! When did I become such a . . . woman! I put my face in my hands.

Emily put her arm around me. "Come on, Leah. You can fix this."

I put my head up and wiped my face. "I need to talk to him, Emily! I need to make him understand!"

"OK. Where do you think he was going?" she asked.

"Um, I don't know. Maybe home, or Jake's garage, or to the beach. He goes there when he needs to think about something."

"OK. I'll get the car and we will drive by his house. And if his truck isn't there, we will try Jake's and the beach, OK?"

I nodded. "Thank you, Emily."

She smiled and said, "What are friends for?"

We found his truck at his Jake's. Emily pulled up beside it and looked at me. "Are you sure? You don't want to give him some time to cool down?"

"No, I need to talk to him now. Thanks, Emily." I said and opened the car door.

She smiled and said, "No problem. You call me later, OK?"

"I will, I promise!" I closed the door and walked into the garage. "Embry? You here?" I didn't see him right away. I walked around the car that was sitting there and saw him sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. I walked over and stood in front of him and said, "Embry? Can we talk? Please?"

He didn't say anything. He just sat there. He wouldn't even look at me.

This is going to be harder than I thought. I sat down beside him and just started talking, "Embry, I am so sorry. I know I should have told you, but at first, I guess I thought you already knew. I mean, Sam and I were together for a long time, and . . . I just assumed you would think. . . then, later, I just didn't know how to bring it up. It only happened once. We didn't plan it, it just happened." I waited. Nothing. He was still just staring at the floor.

"Embry, what happened between me and Sam is in the past! I thought you already accepted that! We've all moved on, remember? I can't change what's in the past. I'm so sorry that I didn't wait for you to be my first. But you have to know, that what I had with Sam was NOTHING like what I have with you. NOTHING!"

Nothing. No words. Not even a look.

I hung my head. What else can I say?

I looked at him, even though he wouldn't look at me, and I said, "I hope you can forgive me for not telling you, Embry, because I do care about you. More than I wanted to. I think I might even . . ." I stopped. I could feel tears coming and I didn't want him to see me cry. I shook my head and stood up to leave.

"Leah . . . wait."

I looked down at him and saw the unshed tears in his eyes. I sunk back down onto the garage floor and waited for him to speak.

Embry POV:

I hung my head. I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I was acting like a fucking baby over something that happened a long time ago. I just sat there like an ass and said nothing. What could I say? "It's OK you fucked my brother. I'll get over it." I closed my eyes and shook my head. I really didn't need that mental picture in my head! I'm glad I hadn't seen it while we were patrolling. They both had hidden that pretty deep for it not to come out before this. I guess that means something . . .

I opened my eyes and looked at Leah. Time to grow up, Embry. You can let this make you angry and ruin everything you have with the two most important people in your life, or you can suck it up and move on. Leah's right. You can't change what happened in the past. Just leave it there.

Leah was sitting there, patiently waiting for me to say something. I could see the worry and fear in her eyes. Fear that I had put there.

Finally I said, "Leah, I'm sorry. I'm acting like a fucking baby about something that happened a long time ago. I guess it just caught me off guard. But I should have guessed, you know? I mean, I know that you loved . . . anyway, you're right. It's in the past and we can't change it, so we'll leave it there." I stopped and took a deep breath and said, "I guess what upset me the most is hearing you say that you loved Sam, and that's why it happened." I turned to her and asked softly, "Why can't you love me, Leah? Why can you love Sam, but not me?"

She crumbled. Tears instantly spilled from her eyes onto her cheeks. "Embry, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to . . . hurt you . . . like that!" she hiccupped. She put her head down and I could see her shoulders shake and hear her crying.

I just sat there. I couldn't hold her or comfort her. I needed an answer to my question! I needed to know if she loved me. I NEEDED that! I turned to her and took a hold of her shoulders and yelled, "Leah! Damnit! I can't fucking take this anymore!" I shook her and pleaded, "You said you have feelings for me. Please, baby! Please just tell me! If you love me, even a little, please, tell me!" She had her head down and I yelled, "Leah! Look at me!"

She picked her head up and looked at me. "I do. I do love you, Embry. I didn't want to! I tried not to, but I can't help it! I love you, OK! I LOVE YOU!" she screamed.

I pulled her into my arms and held her. I pulled her as close as I could and held on tight. "Oh, baby, my Leah." I pulled back and crushed my lips onto hers. She responded quickly and wrapped herself around me. We took what we needed from each other until we were gasping for air. I pulled away and looked at her. Her eyes were so red from crying and I felt so bad about forcing her to say that she loved me. Now I knew how she felt about forcing me to make love to her.

"Leah? I'm sorry I forced you to say it. I told you that I would give you time, and then I . . ."

"Embry! I'm glad you did! I just told Mom today that I wanted to tell you how I felt. I do love you, Embry." She smiled at me and I reached out and touched her cheek. She put her hand up to cover mine. "Believe it or not, I was trying to get to that when you got so mad at me." She leaned in and kissed me again, this time softly. "I wanted you to know that the talk with Sam helped me move on and realize that I do love you. And, that we talked about this stupid imprinting thing. Can I tell you now?"

I let her go a little so she could talk. "Yea, I guess. OK." I said.

She explained to me how she and Sam talked about how we imprint to preserve the pack. Yea, I knew that. "But since we never had a female wolf, the guys always imprinted on someone outside the pack. Now we have a female wolf, me, and he thinks that I probably would not imprint on someone outside the pack. What if I am drawn to you and you are in turn drawn to me? Think about it, Embry! From the very beginning, we haven't been able to keep our hands off of each other! And the way I have been with you. Embry, I've never been like that, ever! I was never like that with Sam at all. It's you, Embry. I want you. Very badly. All the time!" she said with a smile.

I laughed and said, "Well, who doesn't, baby?"

She rolled her eyes and said, "Believe it or not, I miss that Embry."

I leaned over and kissed her, slowly and tenderly. I put my forehead to hers and said, "Leah, I hope to God that this theory is true. I can't take worrying about this fucking imprinting thing anymore. It's killing both of us."

"I know." She lifted her head and looked me in the eyes and said, "Will you forgive me, Embry? Please?"

I smiled and took her in my arms. "There's nothing to forgive, baby. This is done. I love you, Leah."

"I love you, too, so much," she whispered. And then we kissed, and I felt like all was right with the world again.