"You have to let me in. I'm his partner!" Okay, technically? Not exactly true anymore, like, for almost a year and a half now. Still. He needed to get in the goddamn room and these military doctors seemed to be even more hard-assed than the civilian ones.

It seemed like only minutes ago but, somehow at the same time, also years since he'd got the call. Jake called him while he was in the middle of a morning briefing with Five-0. He'd dropped everything and flew half way around the world. 'Cause that's just what Danny does.

But these goddamn people would not let him see Steve; wouldn't even tell him if he was alive for crissake. Danny didn't really give two shits that Steve had removed him from his list of emergency contacts. At this moment, he didn't really give two shits that Steve's sorry excuse for a mother had replaced him. According to Jake, the nurses had been trying to get a hold of Doris who, surprise, surprise, was nowhere to be found. It was Jake himself who, still having Danny's number in his phone from the Hawaiian Op, had called to tell him Steve was injured and did he know how to contact his mother.

So, yeah, he didn't care about proper procedure, or confidentially laws or any of that goddamn shit. He just needed to get in the fucking room. He was about to pull out his weapon and start threatening people. Except, oh yeah, he didn't have his weapon. Good thing, probably.

The door to Steve's room opened and Jake stepped out into the hall.

"Danny?"

"That's me."

The SEAL looked at the nurse. "It's okay. He should be here." The nurse narrowed his eyes and walked away. "What are you doing here?"

Danny just looked at him and raised an eyebrow, like it was the dumbest question to ever be asked. Of course, as far as Danny was concerned, it was. Where the hell else would he be?

"You couldn't contact his mother?"

Danny laughed. "Didn't even bother trying. She doesn't want to be found. Steve knew that."

"But then why would he—"

"Because our favourite SEAL – no offense – is emotionally disturbed, no thanks to said mother, and has spent the last two years pushing his real family away." Jake didn't say anything for a moment, then nodded and led Danny into the room.

Next to the bed, Danny's eyes were glued to Steve's unconscious body as he listened to Jake who hung back by the door, observing. When he began to speak, his voice was quiet, as if afraid to wake up the sleeping SEAL. But Danny wanted nothing more than to wake him, see those hazel eyes searching the room for him. He took his hand.

"She looked just like your daughter," Danny looked up at Jake at that, brow furrowing. But just for a moment because then he was looking back down at Steve again. "The girl he was trying to save, I mean. We were in... well, we were some place that was not the Middle East, and the girl – thirteen or fourteen, maybe? – she looked just like your daughter from where we standing by the copter. We were kinda far way, but I've seen that photo of, Grace right?, that he has enough times.

"Anyway, the mission was FUBAR. We got bad intel. The place was hot and it shouldn't have been more than lukewarm. We managed to take out most of the insurgents, but they'd managed to take out pretty much the entire village, first. That little girl was really all that was left. We still had a few targets to clear, but called for extraction. By the time the bird arrived, we were down to three. Figured we'd take 'em from the air, you know?

"We were just about on the copter – Steve last, of course – and that's when we saw her. That girl stumbling out of a half destroyed building. There was nothing we could do, though. We didn't have line of sight on the guys anymore, but we knew they had a clear shot on her. But they didn't take it like they had with everyone else. Then two of the guys were running across the square to grab her. God knows what they had planned for her. I sure as fuck don't wanna know. But Steve, man, he lost it."

Danny ran is free hand through Steve's hair, longer than the last time he'd seen it. "Oh, babe..."

"I mean, not completely, of course. He knew what was going on, knew it wasn't Grace – couldn't be off that what with how she was screaming in another language. He ordered us onto the bird, to continue with the plan, take the guys out like we planned. The way they were running to her, he could have taken them out right from where we were, but he didn't. He just ran towards her; he was too focused on just getting to her before they did.

"I know she was just a girl, I know they were going to do horrible things to her. I wanted to stop them; I'm not a monster. But, we needed to get the hell out of Dodge, and he'd almost been inside the damn bird when he turned back. We probably could have saved her from them from the air."

Danny got that. He really did. He'd had to make some tough decisions in his years as a cop. But this guy obviously wasn't a father, at least he hadn't been a year ago, and especially not of a 13 year old girl. Steve wasn't either, technically, but Danny had long ago realized that Steve didn't really give a fuck about technicalities.

"I got clipped a bit going back for him, but nothing big. Just enough to be able to snag a ride with him. He made a stupid, fucking, rookie mistake. I've been part of his teams for years. Even when he was a rookie, he wouldn't have done that."

Danny let out a long, slow breath. "Hear that, babe? You did something so stupid, even an Army Ranger isn't happy about it."

"n'vy, d'nn." But there was no fluttering of eyelids or a squeeze of the hand. Danny couldn't decide if Steve was actually waking up or not. Or maybe he'd just imagined it altogether.

"Did he save the girl, at least?"

Jake shook his head. "They shot her after they shot him. Guess they figured she wasn't worth the hassle. We got 'em, though. He took two to the armour and one to the leg, nicked the artery. Touch and go there for a bit, but he'll be fine. Otherwise just some cracked ribs."

"'M fine."

Danny looked back down and this time Steve did seem to be waking up. Jake slipped from the room as Danny pulled up a chair with his free hand.

"Yeah-huh, sure you are."

His eyes opened fully and blinked furiously against the harsh light before they looked around the room and finally landed on Danny. His brow furrowed and he licked his lips.

"D'nny?"

"Yeah, babe. Here." He reached over and poured a glass of water and helped him take a drink and then get more comfortable.

"Y'r not s'pose to be here. Doris..."

"Yeah, yeah. Well, surprise, surprise, no one could find her. Jake called me to see if I could contact her."

Steve frowned and huffed. He probably would have looked more angry if he hadn't had to cough after.

"Besides. All the places in the world I've chased after you to? Germany's pretty sweet. Not passing that up. We should go for beers later. Maybe some bratwürst." He helped Steve with some more water after his failed attempt at laughter-turned-more-coughing. "Why'd ya replace me with Doris, huh? You know, as your emergency contact. I mean, I know we aren't partners anymore but... you knew no one'd be able to find her."

"That's... why I did it. I'd rather have no one but... it's kinda a requirement. Navy likes to have civilians make medical decisions for them or, better yet, parade out their Chaplains with their long faces and apologies and 'he's in a better place'. I didn't want anyone I actually... cared about dropping everything for me, or getting that visit. So I picked Doris... Knew she wouldn't show when I needed her. But... still hoping the chaplain gets lucky when the time comes. She deserves to know how it feels. Even better if, by some miracle, I happen to be on the phone with her when the kill shot comes. That'd be really nice."

The short monologue came out slow, in between sips of water that Danny helped him with, breaks to catch his breath, wincing in pain as he shifted on the hospital bed... breaks to make sure he didn't drown in all the emotion.

Usually, Danny enjoyed the truth serum, also known as kick ass pain meds. They made Steve into a big goof ball, with his drugged professions of love, the real reasons why he continued to rile Danny up, all normal, good stuff. Hey, he had to find a silver lining in spending so much time next to the SEALs hospital bed, right? He wasn't liking them so much tonight, though. What kind of morose German painkiller had they shot him up with?

Because, holy fuck, this better not pass for 'normal' and 'true' thoughts in McGarrett's head these days.

"I'm done, Danno." Danny supposed maybe that meant they did. Which... fuck.

"I know you are. Thank you for admitting it." Danny ran his hands through Steve's hair. "So you know what you need to do? You need to come home, to your family. Let us help you. You do not do... whatever this is," he waved at Steve's wounded body. "What, suicide by terrorist? Jesus, Steve." That hand now rubbed at his face.

"Danny, no. That's not what this—"

"Semantics, Steve. I know, okay? I know how it feels to have all that misplaced guilt welling up in you. I gave up once and you dragged me back from Colombia. Made me see the mistake I made. It's time I did the same for you." Difference was, Danny knew exactly what he'd lose, or, more to the point, what Grace would lose, if he'd died in that prison. He thought that, maybe, Steve knew it about himself as well, but it just wouldn't compute in his stunted, Neanderthal brain. Or maybe he just refused to let it compute.

Steve looked away, toward the door, like he was willing someone to come in and interrupt them. "What was I supposed to tell Grace, huh? If they could actually shoot for shit?" Low blow, but he knew how Steve felt about Grace. Maybe it should have bothered him that another man, not a parent, thought of her like his own. But it didn't bother him; this was Steve. Also, at this point, he could use all the help he could get. And Grace, God bless her, had his back, too.

"What happened to us growing into old, grey men on your lanai? Ranting about our women, bitching at punk kids to get off our respective lawns, and trying to keep up with our grandkids with our bad knees and screaming joints? Huh? I know things got too much, babe. I know you needed a break and somehow going back to being the elite of the Navy's fucking elite was an escape for you but... you need to come home now."

That earned him nothing but Steve shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut. Like he could block Danny out if he tried hard enough.

"At least come home while you recuperate."

"Can't, Danno, they need me, even if it's just desk duty."

"You hate desk duty."

"Yeah, but it's not for long. I've done it before, and they always sign me off early." Danny just sighed, took his hand again and sat back in his chair.

"I still love you, you know. And so does Grace. And Mary." Maybe if he told him that enough, if he knew how much he meant to his family, he'd believe it one day. He lost one brother; Danny'd be damned if he lost another. Steve didn't open his eyes, but he relaxed and smiled and Danny supposed that was better than nothing.

"Love you, too, Danno," the words were almost slurred as he slipped back into unconsciousness.

Maybe things weren't hopeless after all.

Danny sat with his friend, his brother, for another five or ten minutes, until he was certain he was back asleep, then slipped back out into the hall to find Jake.

He felt almost like he was betraying Steve but... even if Steve ended up hating him for this; never spoke to him again – which, really, would be different from the past year how? – he had to do it. He sunk into a plastic chair near the other SEAL.

"You gotta do something, man. Make sure his doctor or shrink or whatever doesn't clear him for duty. He's so fucked right now." He stopped for a deep breath. "You think Grace-look-alikes are bad? Next time he might take you guys with him. But that Neanderthal Animal is a fucking pro at throwing a Psych Eval. I've seen him do it. Once I saw him thisclose to literally charming the panties off a doc – a very male, very close to retirement and very happy with his wife – shrink. I swear the guy even drew little hearts on his release papers." He let out a long sigh and rubbed his hands hard over his face. "Steve won't survive it next time."

Jake hung his head and let out a long breath of his own. "Not gonna be that easy if Smooth Dog's not gonna cooperate. He's still the fucking best and our CO's a hard ass. If he wants to pass the eval, they're not gonna look too hard for reasons not to sign that paper."

"Jesus fucking Christ. No wonder we're spending so long in dusty countries. You guys keep sending the mortally wounded back in to fight another day."

"Yeah, tell me about it. Look, I'm with you. I'll do my best. I just don't think I'm going to be able to do anything to help. But I got your boy's back."