196. The Earth Must Bleed part 11

Midday.

Clear blue sky.

Cool winds wafting down from the cedar-laden mountains.

I took deep, steady breaths.

My adolescent arms cradled the blocks of wood.

Gravel crunched and shifted under my padding shoes.

After a brisk walk across the open square of the Manor, I reached the threshold of the Master's house. I stepped up onto the porch. I knelt down, hugged the wood to my chest, and wrenched a hand free to remove my shoes. I took a deep breath, rung a tiny bell by a rope, and grasped the paper door.

I slid open the entrance into the house.

I peered in.

A beat.

I couldn't see the Master. The sparsely furnished dwelling place rested empty. Calm. Quiet.

"………"

I glanced right.

"…………"

I bit my lip.

"Are you intending to finish out my errand, student?"

I blinked my brown eyes.

I looked up.

The old man sat in a perfectly balanced lotus position atop a ceiling rafter. His legs butterflied on either side of the wooden beam. His hands were out to his sides. His back was to me. His bald head shadowed by the proximity of the wooden peak of the interior.

I simpered. "Uhm……Y-Yes, sensei. I'm sorry."

"There is no being sorry. There is only being. Finish what you came to do."

I nodded. I walked over towards a wooden chest lining a wall. I opened it and saw that it was nearly full with small wooden planks already.

"…………"

I shrugged it off, placed the new logs gently down, and closed the lid.

I turned around, brushed my hands off, and stepped out towards the exit.

Halfway through, I stopped almost directly beneath the Master. I looked up towards him and asked: "Is th-that all you needed of me, sensei?"

He spoke without looking: "That is all I need, yes, student."

I smiled slightly. I nodded: "Just ask if you need another task done."

"I know that you will."

I blinked.

What did he mean by that?

I shrugged.

I headed for the exit-

"Who said that you could leave, student?"

I winced all over.

"Errr……f-forgive me, sensei. I thought that you had all that you needed—"

"But what of your need?"

"…………"

His elevated form shifted somewhat. "There is something that keeps you from leaving my house. In spirit more so than in mind or body. Something troubles you. It rattles your very person. How can a shaking mirror truly reflect the beams of the Spectrum?"

"I……I……"

A beat.

I exhaled, a defeated lowering of my eyelids. "Y-Yes, sensei. There is something I'd like to discuss." A beat. I fidgeted. "Confess, really……"

"Then confess it. Come join me."

I looked up at the rafters. I gulped. "You mean up there?"

"Am I a mole beneath the earth right now?"

"N-No, sensei. Let me just…ahem……a-alright…," I eyed the vertical support beams to the left and right of me. There were no places to grab ahold with human fingers. But they were close enough that if I moved really quickly……

I exhaled. I got ready to make my move-

"Uh uh uh……bandanna."

I grimaced, but tried to hide it. "Th-The bandanna?"

"Hai."

I exhaled. A beat. "Y-Yes, sir……"

I pulled a red bandanna out from my pocket. I raised it up to my forehead. I covered my eyes. I tied the ends of the bandanna around the back of my short head of hair. I couldn't see anything. So I shut my eyes to block out whatever vision I had left.

"Now……join me……"

I took a deep breath. I slid into a leg-splitting crouch. Hands stretched outward and ahead of me. I tensed my muscles.

And then……

Relaxed………………

Invisible rays of invisible light with invisible color.

Red.

Black.

White.

Mixing and parting and mixing and parting and mixing again.

A focal point.

A beam.

Spinning.

Gliding.

Touching.

Dividing.

Shapes.

Patterns.

A plane.

A horizon.

A second plane.

A third.

The interior of the household.

The vertical beams.

The rafters.

Air.

Wood.

Flesh.

"Nnngh!" I burst outward to my right in a flying leap.

THWAP!

Bounced off one beam.

TH-THWAP!

Bounced off a second.

Swung my hands up.

GRIP!

Grabbed a ceiling beam.

SWOOOSH!

Spun on it.

Uprighted.

Flipped.

And……

PLANT!

…landed in a squat.

I exhaled.

Smiling.

"………………!"

I teetered over.

My blindfolded eyes bugged out.

Grip.

A small frail hand grabbing my shoulder.

The Master's.

He saved me from a blind fall.

I bit my lip. I had to have been blushing all over.

"Th-Thank you, sensei."

"You are fast, student. Almost too fast."

I couldn't see him.

But……with my spatial sense……

I could have sworn there was a stone smile on his aged face.

I evened myself out.

He let go of me

I sat on a ceiling rafter across from him. Cross-legged. Blindfolded, but balanced.

I took a deep breath.

"What is it that you came all the way up here to tell me, young one?"

"………," my black eyes shifted against the blindness. "I……uhm……"

"Certainly I have summoned you. But even the most obedient servants all have a choice to pursue or not pursue the voice of their superiors."

"I like doing things for you, sensei," I smiled gently into the lofty oblivion. "If only I could express just how thankful I am that you brought me to this school and—"

"There are many students at this school," the Master's voice said, "…and many of them are as thankful if not more thankful than you, young one. And yet none of them go through the extent of expressing gratitude as you do."

"………"

"Are you also observant of your own……selflessness?"

"I……I-I……," I turned my head from him. I bit my lip. "I'm not selfless, sir."

"Oh? Then what are you?"

"I'm………"

A beat.

A breath.

I shuddered.

"That's what I came here for."

"Ah. So he does think of himself!"

"Well, I do do a lot of thinking," I uttered. "I get a lot of chance to do it. When getting water and wood for you. When minding the garden outside your courtyard. When……wh-when I'm alone, basically."

"Which you are a lot."

I hoped he wouldn't blame me for ignoring that last part. I spoke:

"And……and I-I'm thankful as always for the fact that I'm here. But……"

"Hmmm?"

A beat.

I sighed. "I'm not doing you or any of this school justice, sensei."

"Truly?"

"I………I-I can see and feel the Spectrum……but……," I fidgeted. I tried not to teeter off the thin beam I was on. I wrung my hands together regardless. "……I don't know my place in the Spectrum."

"Do you mean you don't know what you are adept at?"

I bowed my head. I was about to nod-

"Or you don't know what you want to do in life?"

I jolted.

I tilted my head to 'look' at him. "S-Sir?"

His voice spoke to me from beyond the blindfold. "The Spectrum is the secret breath in all that Life is and all that Life does. But if Spectrum was meant to be more important than Life, then perhaps it would have been something understood by all people at birth even moreso than Life is already understood by every living thing. The Spectrum is a new threshold for human kind, and humans on their own shall always be allies to Life no matter how much they may proliferate Death. It is one thing to devote your life to the Spectrum, but such a lake is difficult to jump to if your life is not footed firmly on the visible shore. Only once we have learn to tread the chaos of the simplicity around us can we swim through the chaos beyond. And even then, there needs to be a balance. A mature handling of what is real and what is surreal. And sometimes that handling comes in realizing that there is no chance of handling things at all."

I swallowed a lump in my throat. I spoke to him: "Sensei, I love life."

"………I would imagine that you do."

Silence.

I was hesitating.

And he knew it:

"………but there is something you love more than life, is there not?"

I took a deep breath.

He went on: "Something……Something more chaotic than the steady strength of White……"

I felt it coming.

I knew it was.

But it felt icy cold regardless of all my psyche did to prepare for it.

"Something as smothered in Black as it is laced with White and Red. Something so incredibly lonely—in that it is surrounded by confusion—that it appears almost horrifically enticing. It pulls you in like the deepest, darkest hole in the universe. And going into that hole is painful. And yet, you receive that very same joy from that pain. From that emptiness. From that solitary fulfillment."

I clenched my jaw.

Nevertheless, I took another breath and said:

"More than anything, I want peace."

"More than Life? More than Death? More than Construction and Destruction?"

"I want Balance."

It was cold.

It was curt.

It was full of bitterness and resolve all at the same time.

I felt bad and liberated for saying it.

I felt……

"To be Balanced does not necessarily mean to be alone, young student……"

I exhaled painfully.

The edges of my blindfolded eyes were wet.

He went on: "……as long as you realize that every disjointed soul in the universe is a shared piece of a grand whole, you are never alone. There are always opposite ends of the Spectrum to equalize the Equalizer. And……" There was a warmth to his voice as he added to the bleedings parts of my being "………there is always time to Equalize yourself. Especially in my school."

I took a deep breath. A tear or two trailed down my cheeks. "I……I-I don't know where to go from here, sensei."

"That is the surest sign yet……that you are going in the right direction."

I sniffed. I smiled……

Painfully.

The Master spoke beyond my blindness: "Do not feel troubled, young one. There is equal respects for all sides of the Spectrum. White, for its relentless strength and steadfast defense. Red, for its unquenchable passion and direct retribution. And Black……Black for its endless tolerance and selfless devotion."

I tilted my head down towards the floor that I knew was far, far below me.

The Earth.

"The obedience you show, young one. You show it not just to me. But to your friends. To your fellow students. And to her."

I froze.

Her blue eyes fluctuated in my mind's vision for a second and faded off into riverwater.

"She is a perceptive one. She too knew where you rested. Where you stood. Even where you drowned."

I tilted my head back up. Lips parted……

"It is not my place to pull students to me who experience turmoil and flux. But she is White. She is Construction. So very excellent at Construction. She cannot help but try and shed the light into your gray heart. Perhaps it is selfishness. White and Red are defined by their very forwardness or reserve. And as much as it is a part of their being, they must not feel regret for it. In the same way, you must not feel regretful for your devotion. For your sacrifice. For your sympathy."

"…………"

"She will reward you, young one. Listen to her. Dwell upon her. She will make you complete and healed. As much as he who is destined for Red will keep you fueled and enflamed."

I took a deep breath.

And somehow I knew.

I knew……

I was going to be a member of the final three.

I must have been more sure of it than Ana was.

For, after all……

Ana was about as confused as I was.

But I had the legitimate excuse to be afraid.

And to embrace that chaos.

She needed me.

She needed me more than she ever thought I needed her.

Or maybe it was reciprocal?

Maybe the Master's dream was finally coming true.

And the Trinity……

I relaxed.

I took a deep breath, and exhaled.

No……

Nothing is sure yet.

Red still needs to be filled.

And if it's him……

A beat.

I thought of Ana.

I thought of myself.

I thought of……

"…………"

I couldn't help but smile.

This is absolutely perfect.

My god……

So perfect.

"Go, young one."

I snapped out of it.

"She awaits you."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

The other half of the students were just finished with training.

A bunch of them were walking in groups back to the households and courtyards. They joked and balanced their boken training swords over their shoulders. Bandannas of varying colors were tired around their wrists and necks. I saw Ben, Dawn, Michelle, Mat, and a few others.

And then……

She was in the tree.

Half-climbed.

Hugging herself in her green and yellow get up.

Her angel-short hair deflated.

Her blue eyes round.

She seemed like a melting statue. On the brink of falling into the Earth from which she came and being swallowed up.

The cool, mountain wind kicked at her.

The edges of her shirt kicked up a bit, letting a pale midriff show and be concealed again.

She seemed impervious to the temperature change.

A statue.

An extension of the Earth in ivory.

I walked up to her, and briskly, energetically—climbed up the tree.

She actually jolted. Startled. As if I had suddenly become quicker than she had ever seen overnight.

"Are you okay?" Ana asked.

I looked at her.

I smiled. "Couldn't be better."

"………," she leaned her heavenly head to the side. Quizzical. Blue sapphires blinking.

"I saw him," I said. "I saw the Master."

She seemed to shudder at that. As if suddenly guilty. She hugged herself and stared into the thicker and thicker line of trees edging the forest.

"Wh-What did you have to talk about?" Was her mumbling.

I leaned back casually against the thick body of the tree branch. I rested my arms behind my neck. I took a deep breath.

A beat.

I gazed off. Towards the Manor. The students, the sunset, the cool oblivion rounding the horizon.

"Talking is overrated……," I uttered. A pause. I smiled sideways at her. "Kinda like the Master once taught us. The world is a strangely prettier place when you ignore your eyes and throat."

"………"

I tilted my head to the side.

Ana was hugging herself harder. Her face was long.

I hated that look.

"Ana, I don't know what my future holds for me here in this school……," I pick at some bark and speak slowly. "You're always focused on the past. And lately I've been stressing the future. And……I just don't know, Ana."

"Don't know what, Jordan?"

"Anything."

She looked at me.

But I wasn't looking at her.

"I'm confused, Ana……," I said. "All I know, all I feel, all I sense……spatially or not……is now."

She blinked. Her lips parted.

I took a deep breath and braved a painful smile at her. "And……I'm selfish. I'm selfish, Ana." I swallowed and finished weakly: "I don't want to be alone here."

She sniffed. She scooted over on the tree limb.

I helplessly leaned against her.

She let me. She cradled an arm around my shoulder and let me lean my head against her neck.

And I shuddered. "I need Life. I need it so much. And I can't master it. I don't know how else to receive it……then to be near you."

She stroked my head and said in a soft, shaking voice: "I will willingly show you that Life, Jordan……if you're so willing to stay here and show me Balance."

I smiled, my eyes wet.

Ana gulped and hoarsely added: "Th-Thank you, Jordan……"

I closed my optics. I took a deep breath of the mountain air. A deep breath of Earth.

Of her.

"No, Ana. Thank you."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Little hands.

Little typing hands.

A glowing laptop.

Coiled wires and scrolling green on black text.

'J' paused in the middle of his instrumentation. He looked up at me from where he sat cross-legged on the hotel room bed and hand-signed:

'I saw every bit of the fight. I was hacked into Pompeii's control systems the entire time. I even had access to the arena's matrix. I lowered some of the flashing lights on the silver cage side of the underground tournament. I do not know if you noticed or not.'

"……..," I stared at him. I stood in the far corner of my Luxor Hotel room. Arms folded. Still dressed in my tattered Wyldecarde getup.

He gazed up at me for a moment. Green eyes blinking cutely under a halo of platinum blonde hair. I half-expected him to ramble to me about 'seeing dead people' all of the sudden. Instead, he rubbed a hand across his scarred neck, smirked even cuter, and signed:

'I take it that the lights were not that spectacular. I understand. Pulsade thought it was a waste of energy. I cannot wait for it to click through hers and Jinx's head that I knew you were coming a long, long time before the girls knew it.'

I briskly whipped my metal and flesh hands about and signed back: 'What are you doing here?'

'Counter Red Aviary. I am in this thing just as much as Wildebeest and the two ladies you keep butting heads with.' 'J' giggled mutely. His face went a little straighter as he added: 'I guess it would be stupid to try and ask what you are doing here.'

'You seem to know everything. You tell me.'

'Still spiteful?'

'I have had a long day.'

He nodded. A wink. He then jumped as if struck by a crazy thought and pointed all around him: 'This place is really nice! They even had juice squeezers in the ice box!'

'J'……

'And you have two beds. What is with having two beds?'

'J'……

'Have a special friend here that we do not know of? Do not worry. Jinx and Pulsade would not be jealous. Although Wildebeest might.'

I walked over.

I fingered the top of his laptop.

I glared into his face.

Click!

I shut his laptop closed.

"………," I took a deep breath. Looking in his dangerous green orbs. Using the full extent of my height and girth to……stare the petite preteen down.

He fearlessly looked back up at me.

And smirked.

He signed: 'Could it be you are bunking with this magical asian kid who keeps following you around?'

It took every facet of my being to ignore that.

And I signed: 'We are not on the same side, 'J'.'

His face fell. It wasn't so much as a pout as a painful reminder. A reminder of something he evidently didn't believe in. For he soon replied with a flurry of fingers:

'We never really became enemies. Did we, Noir?'

I took a deep breath. I thought of Robin. When he was alive. The crying voice of his that came out like a dying animal filtered through a wind tunnel. The bottled up emotions that he let loose without truly deciding to. The sad look on Starfire's face as she ran mental circles around an enigma. And the awful rift in sanity formed when the shining bird went far too quickly and far too coldly into that dark oblivion of the night.

'We were never really friends, 'J',' I finished signing before I realized it. I held my breath.

'J' held his. But soon shook it off. 'If only you knew,' he signed. 'Counter Red Aviary. We are working for Terra's and the Titan's benefit too! Jinx and Pulsade are too hardcore in the way they handle things. They are used to being villains. They refuse to work with anyone else benevolently after the same goal unless they absolutely have to. Please do not let their personalities dissuade you, Noir. What we are doing is the only way to stop the come back of all that would wish to wield Destruction on this pure landscape. It is all a game of give and take. We sneak into evil corporations and rig up tournaments. You run around with that sword of yours and beat people's heads in. It is all for the same means!'

By the time he was finished hand-signing, I couldn't control my shaking. I wasn't so much angry at him as I was suddenly and utterly frustrated.

Blake Glover.

The Messenger.

Jinx and Pulsade.

Hull.

'J'.

Why in the blue Hell must I always……ALWAYS……be in the dark?

I am friggin' tired of high-and-mighty travelers, messengers, vigilantes, and computer hackers telling me where to go and what to trust in and what to believe in and what to be afraid of and what to call 'good' or 'evil'!

'You will leave with your equipment in ten minutes or I will take that laptop of yours and show your prostrate gland what it truly means to have a 'bunk buddy'.'

"……..," he blinked. He giggled breathily.

I clenched my fingers.

He kept on giggling.

I fumed.

I snarled-

CHIIIIING!

'J' jolted all over, covering himself.

SWOOOOOSH-THWACK!

I heaved in mid-swing. A chair lay in splinters where Myrkblade hovered at the end of my grip. Trailing smoke.

I panted…panted…panted…

Staring at the wreckage through my cracked goggles.

Screw Vegas.

'J' gulped.

I turned and glared at him over my shoulder.

He shakily gestured: 'I am sorry, Noir. There is nothing I could have done.'

I breathed in through my nostrils.

Chiiiiing!

I sheathed Myrkblade.

I looked at him and signed: 'You could have done anything. Anything.'

'I did all I could for Robin.'

'You used him.'

'I gave him a chance to get out of the rut he was in!' 'J' emphatically signed. 'I tore the walls down for him so that he and—'

'That 'rut' was his life, you little turd. Why is it that after so many months you are still playing God?'

He frowned and stood on his knees as he gestured: 'If you were in my position, you would have done the same thing!'

I marched towards him one step. 'If I knew even a fraction of what you knew, I would have saved Robin instead of ripping his life apart in some awful excuse for a toddler's weekend getaway!'

'J' bit his lip.

I tried to breathe easier.

But I couldn't stop the fingers from spinning…

'Robin did not ask to be a part of this. It was not his place to die. And yet he did. If I knew of a way to prevent it, like you and Jinx and Pulsade and Wildebeest did, I would have done so.'

'Noir, sacrifices had to be made,' 'J' said with a sad yet firm expression. 'We could have saved Robin. But Terra would still be in trouble. Dagger and Triangular would still be wielding a path of destruction. Red Aviary would be stronger and bloodier. Do you understand? We needed to sacrifice. And Terra's situation in all of this—we realized—is more far-reaching than Robin's ever was.'

Something lifted in 'J''s face.

Something hard, rigid, and glinting in the electric light.

My metal prosthetic.

He leaned back a bit. Swallowing his scarred throat. Glancing nervously from it to me and back again.

I kept it held there for half a minute. I slowly retracted my arm so that I could gesture with my black eyes trained on the boy:

'You would dictate to me about sacrifice? 'J', you do not save people by sacrificing bits and pieces of them. You truly redeem the world by giving away pieces of yourself. I only wish you were a bit older. Kids like you are too young to save the world and not screw up.'

"……," he was silent.

I sighed.

I ran a metal hand over my face.

A chill.

I fought it.

I turned around.

I gazed through the translucent, inclined window of the side of the hotel room.

I hugged myself and took a deep breath.

"…….."

Why am I here?

This is the City of Sin.

Full of spilled blood and violent entertainment.

People sacrificing money and throwing their lives away.

A hive for killer despots and misguided villains.

Why do I need to be here?

The Titans were allright, minus an Atlantean or not.

Cyborg was rounding out, despite a few arguments over the team's direction.

Raven was as content and sound of mind as ever I had witnessed of her.

Beast Boy and Starfire were managing with their guilt.

They didn't need me to trek across half the country to save a girl who is already dead as stone.

Hell, they might not even need me at all.

What am I doing here?

I'm turning into a villain again.

The relentless blade of Wyldecarde.

Wired in to invisible blonde assassins and cryptic asian teenagers and little Anakin Skywalker wannabes and killers of the night of all sorts of scale, hair, and skin.

What difference does it make if I go with this shitty game Jacob Anderson is putting us all through?

Why must I make others bleed to prevent the bleeding of the earth?

How real is Red Aviary, a fiend I have not seen and probably never will see until I am dead and done with?

The Balance broke a long time ago.

Life faded.

Death won over and was scattered away.

I am so, utterly alone.

The Master was wrong.

Infinite chaos leads to infinite eternity within the infinite black.

With the Titans……

With the Messenger……

With my memories……

I am myself and myself alone.

I hid my goggled face in my hand.

I sighed.

Blotting out the world into blackness.

Like a flesh bandanna.

This is hopeless.

Terra can't be saved.

And even if I did, what could I do with a statue?

How would it save the Titans?

Make them happier?

Keep them safer from invisible red evils?

Why do I have to constantly fill my life with the scars of battles I was never even a part of to begin with?

I should just leave this damn City.

Leave the Messenger.

Let Counter Red Aviary have their way.

And……I dunno……

Knock on Kara's door.

Sweep her off her feet.

And fly off to some planet not covered by the Green Lantern Corps. or something.

A beat.

I groaned mutely.

I lifted my hand.

She wouldn't understand either.

I fingered a harmonica on the nearby table.

Nobody……

Nobody understands.

Raven……

Typing noises.

"……," I turned around.

'J' had his laptop open. He had a serious look on his face, even though quite evidently he wasn't taking my threat to make him leave the room seriously.

And by the sign of me standing there dumbly, neither was I.

He gestured without looking: 'I wish there was a way to convey that I only mean to help you, Noir. I know my methods do not live up to your standards. And in a way, they do not live up to mine. But one thing is for certain, I do not like to kill.'

I wasn't certain if he meant that as a jab at me personally or not. And then I realized, there are some things even a kid like that couldn't know.

I simply sighed in response and hung my head a little.

He alternated between typing and hand-signing: 'Jinx and Pulsade may only be here for Terra. But like you, Noir, there are people with eyes open to all the blinding lights of this world. As well as all the dangerous that such lights illuminate.'

A final keystroke.

Tap!

He pointed at the screen.

"……."

I groaned inwardly, walked around, and stared over his shoulder.

My black eyes narrowed on an Internet site he suddenly had popped up. A local news article concerning a crashed bus missing dozens of students from a Mexican all-girls school.

"……."

He looked straight up at me. Round green eyes. He signed upside down: 'The Vault is not the only place in Pompeii holding valuables.'

"……..," I looked down at him.

He held up a finger. A finger that curved down and tapped a key.

An alternate window popped up. Showing a 3D underground diagram of Pompeii. The basement levels.

My lips parted some….

He zoomed in on rows of wireframe rooms equipped with labeled icons representing 'saws' and 'spiked chairs' and 'iron maidens' and 'leechers'. The doors showed schematics for elaborate locks, shackles, and wide one-way-mirrors stretching across what looked like prison compartments.

A dungeon.

I clenched my fists.

Anderson……

'He will most definitely torture them. Slowly. With pleasure,' 'J' signed. He bit his lip. 'Any time now. Though, I am pretty sure he will wait until he requests of you, Hull, Wildebeest, and Killer Croc to perform this upcoming mission for him.'

"……." I looked towards him. I shut my eyes and exhaled. 'Will you people……PLEASE……STOP……USING ME!

He tapped my arm.

I looked at him.

He smiled weakly before signing: 'You know of what Anderson has done to people like this. You saved two of them at Shepherd Plain.'

I nodded.

'They are safe now. They are back with their families. I checked the hospital databanks after you dropped them off.'

I blinked.

They're safe?

'I want to help these poor girls beneath Pompeii too. But I cannot do it on my own. Even with……' He hesitated.

I waited for it.

'J' hugged himself before letting slip: '……my powers.'

I nodded.

'And Jinx and Pulsade………they would think it is a waste of time. And Wildebeest is too busy working for them to help out. And all of this in the middle of the tournament's unpredictable ending……'

The boy sighed.

He looked up at me.

'Please, Noir. I know you want to stop Anderson at least. If you just do this. If you just try and stop what is going on in those dungeons, then I will be happy. You can decided to do whatever you want with Terra. I promise you, Counter Red Aviary will take care of her once we find her.'

My eyes narrowed under my goggles.

My jaw clenched tight.

Was I that obvious?

Could this little kid so easily pick up on what I was thinking and what I felt and what I wanted to—

'I will help you to the best of my abilities in those dark and dangerous halls from my station,' 'J' gestured. 'Will you accept?'

"…….."

I groaned inwardly and tilted my head up.

Ana……ay gevalt……kill me now……

I gave a thumb's up.

If 'J' still had a voice, he'd be giggling with joy. His mouth exploded in a 'great!' and he bounced up from his knees and-

THWOMP!

I sweatdropped.

He hugged me, leaning off the bed.

My arms dangled dead at my sides.

"………"

He exhaled, let go of me, and fell back onto the bed.

A smile.

A gesture: 'We are going to kick so much fanny! Invite that cool looking asian friend of yours too. I bet he knows karate.'

I blinked.

I raised a finger—

TWHAP!

He closed his laptop.

Yawned and stretched boyishly.

And smiled across the room at me with thin, green eyes.

After a breath or two, he gestured: 'Well, the important thing now is to rest for the night. A lot is going to happen tomorrow, so……' He curled up on the bed, rested two hands under his cheek, and dozed off with a smile.

"!" my mouth gaped wide.

Hey!

'J' slept.

HEY!

'J' slumbered.

I gritted my teeth.

I half marched towards him.

I raised my fists….faltered…raised them again…and then convulsively hand-signed: 'Not again, you selfish little son of a bricklayer! Out of my room! OUT!'

"………," 'J' was in dreamland.

I lowered my hands.

I sighed.

I gazed stupidly at the bed on the other side of the room.

"…….."

I gazed at 'J'.

"………"

Well, as long as one of us is sleeping.

I was restless.

I flipped a light off.

Stripped off my black goggles.

Tossed my scabbard into a corner.

SLUMP!

And fell down into the last solid chair resting in the corner of the hotel room.

"……."

I gazed beyond the shadows. Beyond little 'J' and his still form.

Everything was gradually being lit by the slowly rising sun outside the hotel.

In some way or another, I could never outrun the light.

I sighed.

"……….."

I gazed to my side.

A table.

The harmonica.

"………"

I picked it up.

I looked it over.

The faint morning light glinted off the metal between the varnished wood.

A beat.

A painful curve to the corners of my lips.

I'm not half as alone as I think.

Am I, Ana?

Another glint off of the harmonica.

Like blue eyes.

Then gone.

"…….."

I lifted the instrument to my lips.

Fingered it correctly.

And gently played…..

And it happened to be 'Kathy's Song' by Simon and Garfunkel.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Simon and Garfunkel?"

"Hehehehehehe. Yeah."

"Never heard of them."

"You never heard of them? Sheesh, for a girl with a country flair you sure are uneducated!"

"Pfft! Name one song by them."

"Sound of Silence."

"Jordan! Silly, that's a FOLK song!"

"Well it's all greek to me! Darn good greek, if you ask me."

"Hehehehehe."

"Sexy, straight out of the beach Greek."

"Ah jeez. You're talking like the other guys."

"You should be thankful."

"Pfft. What's gotten into you lately?"

"Oxygen."

"No, I mean……you seem so……so……"

"So what, Ana?"

"For the last week, you've been so……happy."

"But I'm a happy person!"

"………"

"Honestly, I am."

"For a while there, I wasn't sure."

"Maybe you didn't know me well enough."

"And now?"

"And now………and n-now……I don't know what to know myself."

"…………"

"But I'm willing to let you teach me."

"Yeah……hehehe……uhm………th-that's what Construction is for, right?"

"I have no clue. I never practiced it."

"Hehehehe."

"I'm a Balance Adept, remember?"

"Sure. Hehehehe."

"So, gonna teach me?"

"What?"

"The harmonica, of course!"

"Oh. Right. But I don't know any Simon and Garfunkel tunes."

"Then just start me out simple."

"'Mary Had a Little Lamb' it is."

"Pfft!"

"Seriously, Jordan! Learn the basics……then someday—I bet—you can play any song you like."

"I'll always have a piece of you with me."

"Wow. How poetic. I'm swooning already."

"On with the damn song."

"Allright. Now………pay attention."

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I'm flying.

Through a cedar forest.

The moonlight reflecting off the polished wood all around me.

Seas of branches.

The giggles of children chase me from below.

My eyes are brown.

My hair is short.

I dip down into a dive.

Smiling.

Breathing in the mountain.

The Earth turns into the sky.

And the sapphire clouds swim past me.

Ana darts behind each and every one of them.

Giggling.

An angel and her coy games.

I fly after her.

I spiral through a plume of blue.

Rocketing over the plains of Kansas.

Eastward.

I see Kara on top of a barn.

With Wonder Woman.

And 'J'.

And the Messenger.

They wave at me.

Ten million giggles being born from the womb of Renee.

Daniel's smiling face fading with the moon.

As the horizon twirls.

And I spin with it.

Flying straight down towards a Glittering Bay.

The Tower that stretches above it.

Cyborg and Raven on the rooftop.

Holding each other.

Sharing a cold but slowly warming breath.

Starfire dancing over the waters in green streaks.

An emerald porpoise diving out of the water and turning into a hundred, scattering jelly fish.

Tempest sits on the dock with Sandy, Blake Glover, Commissioner Decker, Lieutenant Smith.

They wave at me.

Dark eyes, freckled skin, cigarette smoke.

I dive into the waters of the Bay.

The waters turn into cold, moonlit air.

The skyscrapers of the City blur on either side of me.

A black hallucination with trailing laughter on the corners.

Smiles filling the gaping holes in the asphalt.

Chuckles shoving away the fallen skyscrapers and shattered windows.

And into the mouth of the bleeding Earth.

I shudder.

For the shiver has interrupted my flight.

I'm naked and in chains as I'm dragged into the core of this world.

The cold, freezing rock.

The empty cavern.

Terra.

Crucified in stone.

Terra.

Eyes blue and mouth agape in pain.

Terra.

A cracking sensation.

Spiderweb fractures branching out from her clothed uterus.

The smell of blood.

Rusted.

The copper end of one of Dagger's knives.

CRACK!

Terra's abdomen explodes and the rest of her stone self shatters.

Out from her destroyed womb flies a metal, prosthetic hand.

Titanium fingers trailing with red smoke fly up at me.

I try to scream, but my neck is bleeding with a gaping hole.

I'm surrounded by bleeding entrails on a rusted, metal floor.

CLAMP!

The fingers clamp around my empty throat.

My eyes bleed and turn black.

The world turns blinding as flames erupt from the hand's titanium joints.

'JORDAN! WHAT DID YOU DO?!'

'For the sky to turn red……'

I fly into the abyss.

Red streams.

Scarlet seas.

Rrrrrred Aviarrrrry………

'……the earth must bleed.'

Terra's tear-streamed face.

Her scream.

The sobs of Ana.

The harmonica falling to the ground.

To the earth.

BANG!

Explosion.

Red smoke.

A single eye.

Opening.

Crimson.

RRRRRRRED AVIARRRRRRY!

Flying in.

Flying in.

Plummeting to an infinitesimal nub.

A girl being engulfed in mud.

A radioactive depository.

The haloing flames.

A blue-eyed teenager tilting his head up to the sky as the flesh peels off his quivering bones.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

I sat up with a jolt.

Robin!

Th-Thump!

The harmonica rolled onto the sunlit floor.

I sat on the edge of the chair in the hotel room.

Panting….

Sweating…..

Black eyes naked and wide.

"………….."

I ran metal and flesh hands through my long black hair.

Still shivering.

Rrrred Aviaryyyy……

I hugged myself.

Gritting my teeth.

Rocking back and forth.

A beat.

I sighed.

I relaxed.

I stare down at the harmonica.

"…….."

Never alone.

Never alone……

Right, Ana?

A beat.

All was not silent in the room.

"……..?"

I looked up.

'J' was still on my bed.

And he was…..

Shivering.

Shivering?

I craned my neck.

No……

Sobbing……

I gently stood up.

I walked to the bedside.

I leaned over.

"……"

'J' was all curled up.

Hugging himself.

Tears streamed from his eyes and ran down his cheeks.

Mute little breaths escaped from his nostrils.

And all the while—I knew—he was asleep.

"…….."

I took a deep breath. I took his laptop, I dragged it off the bed. I bunched up the wires around it. I took the sheets at the end of the bed and quietly, gently draped them over him. I tucked in the edges.

'J' sobbed…..shook a bit more….then unconsciously clutched the warm fabrics to himself, sniffed, and slept quieter.

"………," I exhaled and stood back.

Arms folded.

Black eyes thin.

A beat.

You aren't a villain, 'J'.

I glanced out the window.

Gently breathing.

And……

And I'm still not a hero.

I fingered the 'WK' on my metal mesh.

And the Titans aren't safe.

Not yet.

I sighed.

I grabbed a handful of the clothes and shades I came to Vegas with.

I went into the bathroom and started the shower.

Silly fools and their selfless games.

I've got a damn statue to find.

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

Dear Diana,

There has to be absolute lunacy in a person who absolutely hates Las Vegas staying in Las Vegas. Furthermore, there must be even further lunacy in such a person sticking to a villainous identity just so that he can win the approval of a despot insane enough to hand over the key to the Titans' salvation.

And I am not using Wyldecarde to the ultimate benefit of evil by any means. Even Jacob Anderson has learned that I'm too good of a person to live up to his bloodlust. And that might be my undoing.

But I don't care. For once in my life, I'm going in a straight line. I'm not bouncing from left to right like I was trained to do.

In a way……I'm taking up the slack for the missing adepts around me. I'm choosing to be—with as much strength as I can muster—to wield Construction. To save the Earth, I must be the Earth. I must preserve life at all costs. I must lay low and be affirmative more than aggressive. As paradoxical as it my sounds.

And you know what, Diana? I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere, really. Sometimes I just want to roll over and die. But a long time ago, I believed in something. And from that time of sureity, I made friends. And—for the life of me—I just simply can't ignore friends. And I sure as Hell can't quite when I'm this far bringing peace and order back to the holes in their lives.

I will find Terra. I will. I don't care how many times I have to repeat it. I will find Terra. I will find Terra.

And there are so many people here now. So many fiends and half fiends and rogues and villains alike. Messengers and killers and hackers and gamblers. Witches and snitches and turncoats and molesters. I have chosen from the very beginning to make this plunge into the heart of darkness. It was not Glover. It was not my green-clad buddy from beyond. It was me.

Just like when I chose to go East to begin with.

Learning to be a hero is somewhat like playing the harmonica, Diana. It's messy. You spit all over yourself. You try to accompany the mouth organ to folk songs that don't fit but you love anyway because they remind you of something human that you may have lost. For me, being a hero is constantly being reminded that it's me second, the world first.

The world. The Earth. The Earth Must Not bleed.

I have to get going now. Keep safe. Keep faith. Keep sacrificing.

Sincerely,

Noir

-T-T-T-T-T-T-

November 20, 2004.

10:03 am.

Across the Pompeii Casino.

'The Boy Cave'.

I wandered into the dark interior of the abandoned site.

Dressed in a black jacket with a white undershirt and khaki slacks.

I turned around, hands in pockets.

Gazing with my normal shades.

Where is he?

I thought he wanted me to meet him here……

"……."

I took a deep breath and huddled in a shadowy corner full of junk.

Please don't let me feel alone tonight, man……

A shuffling sound. Creepy. Menacing. From behind.

I craned my ear.

Not the Messenger's normal entrance……

"The multi-dimensional stranger that you're looking for isn't here, Mr. Noir."

My black eyes widened under my shades.

That voice!

"And I seriously doubt he'll be showing up anytime soon either."

CHIIIIING!

In a half-second blur I whipped out Myrkblade, spun, and jabbed—snarling—at the intruder's blue eyed face.

Hull jerked his head to the side and effortlessly gripped the length of my sword with silver-laced hands.

FLASH!

And Myrkblade was gone.

I stumbled back, empty handed.

Panting and sweating.

Shit!

Hull stood immaculate.

Across from me.

Glaring with his blue, hard-as-rock eyes.

FLASH!

He aimed a pistol at me, standing leisurely with his gun arm outstretched.

"………." I glared.

We faced off between the shadows.

A beat.

"I have not come here to fight you," he uttered.

"…..," I blinked.

FLASH!

The gun was gone.

He pocketed his hands into his jeans. The rusted chains dangling along his thighs rattled.

"I've come here because you and I need to talk. It's rather inevitable, Mr. Noir. Our paths would cross at one time or another. Though—to be honest—I wasn't expecting it so soon."

"……," my lips parted. I leaned my head to the side.

Who……

In the Hell……

Are you!

"You come here in search of a girl….a former Titan…..," Hull said. His blue eyes narrowed. "Tara Markov."

I take a deep breath.

"Please believe me…..I'm not after her myself."

You're not?

He gestured: "But at some time or another, I will have to meet her. Seeing that within her lies the next great crises to affect this world of ours. Even bigger than what brings you here."

I made a face.

Bigger than Red Aviary?

"I'm not about to make any broad steps, Mr. Noir," he said. "But I would rather see you with that girl's statue than the team of the witch and the assassin."

I did double-take.

What does this guy NOT know!

Dammit, why am I always the freakin' last-

"I would rather see you take Terra back to your City to bring solace to the team that lost Robin," he said. "But first….," and he started pacing out of the construction site….motioning me after him with a finger. "….there are a few things you must know about Markovia."