AN: Te he, I absolutely loved writing this one. Especially the beginning half, for reasons I'm sure y'all can figure out on your own. ;-P

February 21, 2011
10:37 AM

"Hey, Matsuda!!" someone shouted to him. "The guys downstairs at the front desk want to see you for something!"

Matsuda sighed and headed for the elevator. "Thanks," he mumbled. This had better not be one of those pranks they try and pull on me... And on a Monday, too... God I hate Mondays!...

He was in a pretty bad mood: the weekend had been fun (he had finally convinced Yamamoto to go drinking with him again!!), but it had left him feeling hung over and tired. And as if things couldn't get any worse, he hadn't made it to the coffee pot fast enough to get his normal caffeine jolt.

As he walked down the hall, a man shouted, "Touta!! I heard some good stories about you from over the weekend!!"

Oh, Matsuda thought to himself, I forgot that things can ALWAYS get worse.

Matsuda gave him a weird look. "I don't think I want to know..."

The man laughed. "Smart move."

Friggin' layabout...

"Hey, Matsuda!" someone yelled at him as he reached the elevator. "Did ya have a good time last Saturday?" Without waiting for a response the man promptly laughed his ass off.

Matsuda groaned. "Very funny."

He made a mental note to ask Aizawa later to change his schedule so he no longer worked Mondays.

While in the elevator, another man stepped in next to Matsuda. "Hey," he said, "I heard that you had a good time this weekend!"

Matsuda ignored him.

Mondays should be outlawed.

The elevator doors opened, and almost immediately after stepping out someone shouted Matsuda's name. "Hey, Touta!" Matsuda mentally prepared himself for another insult about the weekend. Instead, he was pleasantly surprised by the voice saying, "Someone mailed you a package yesterday!"

Matsuda sighed, and he walked up to the desk. "Thanks," he said as he took it from the man.

Well, at least he didn't insult me...

"Hey, I heard that you and Mr. Yamamoto had some fun last Saturday night, huh?" the guy asked jokingly.

Oh good Lord, not from him too!!

"Yeah... ha ha." Before any more could be said, Matsuda rushed back into he elevator and didn't breathe a sigh of relief until the doors had shut.

He really didn't need anyone making fun of him this week. Hell, last week had been depressing enough: after it had been confirmed that Misa Amane had committed suicide, she had been laid to rest next to Light as she had requested in a note she had left. Within the next few days, her apartment would be available to rent again, and all traces of Misa-Misa's personal life would be practically all gone.

And along with her, many memoirs of Light Yagami's last few years alive had also disappeared. Now the only people able to remember him innocently were his mother, his sister, and a couple of his friends from high school.

Ugh!! I've got to stop thinking about him!!Matsuda turned his attention away from the past and onto this bulky envelope he had been given. It wasn't extremely full, but it was so oddly shaped that his curiosity was immediately perked.

What the heck is in this thing...?

Unable to wait until he reached his office, he decided to sneak a quick peek. He opened the top flap....

...Which he quickly decided had been a mistake. He shut the envelope a lot faster than he had opened it. "Oh my God!!" he said, trying to calm himself down.

When the doors opened, he took off running to Ide's tiny office. "IDE!!" he yelled.

Ide looked up from his newspaper. "Lemme guess: they were out of coffee, you have a hangover, and you've been insulted about Saturday night more times than you can count, so now you've come crying to me about it."

"Surprisingly, you're wrong about that last bit." Matsuda pracically threw the package on Ide's desk. "We just got a problem that I think is slightly bigger than having a hangover."

Oh no, Ide thought, did he say "we??"

1:02 PM

"Someone sent Matsuda a video tape in an unmarked envelope?" Aizawa asked, obviously confused.

Again, for the second time in barely even a week, the whole Kira investigation team (plus Yamamoto) was crowded into Aizawa's office. Only Ide and Matsuda seemed to have any idea why they were all there, but from what Aizawa figured, it must have been important.

Then again, it was Matsuda, after all.

"Yeah," Matsuda confirmed, "I was sent a tape today. Well, it was actually yesterday, but I wasn't here, and the guys at the front desk--"

"So you've watched the tape, and you think it's, uh, important for some reason?" interrupted Yamamoto.

"Well, um..." Matsuda almost visibly cringed. "No?"

"...'No' what?" Aizawa asked.

"No we haven't watched it," Matsuda admitted glumly.

Aizawa sighed and massaged his forehead. Stupid Matsuda. He leaned back in his chair. "Well, if you didn't watch it, then why he hell did you bring it directly here??"

"Because," Ide said, "we are both almost positive that it was sent to him by..." he lowered his voice, "Ryuzaki's impersonator."

Everyone in the room did a double take, and Aizawa practically jumped out of his chair. "WHAT??"

"It--it's true!!" Matsuda stammered.

Without hesitation, Aizawa grabbed the envelope and almost tore the top off.

"No wait! Don't open it!"

But it was too late. An incredibly strong smell filled the room, and everyone started gagging.

"What--the--hell??" Yamamoto gasped. He was almost doubled over from lack of oxygen.

"Tea bags," Ide managed.

"At least--none of you--were in--an elevator!!" Matsuda shouted. "I almost--passed out--when I--first opened it!!"

Aizawa coughed loudly, both to get everyone's attention and to try and clear the scent from his nose. It didn't work for either of those two things. "Mogi, turn on the air vent before we all suffocate!!"

Even Mogi was struggling to breathe as he walked over and flipped a switch on the wall. Almost immediately afterward, the smell of Earl Grey died a little, but it was still rather overwhelming. Aizawa reached into one of his desk drawers and pulled out a plastic bag. "Ide, how is the tea in the envelope??"

"There are--three tea bags."

Aizawa frowned and coughed again. "Only three??"

"We think that he did--something--to make them--smell so strongly."

"'Strong'--is a bit--of an understatement--don't you think?!" gasped Yamamoto between breaths.

As quickly as Aizawa could, he took out the tea and stuffed all of it into the plastic bag. After a few moments everyone had stopped gagging
and could breathe normally again.

"Matsuda," Aizawa said, "next time you hand me evidence that could possibly kill us all... warn me, would you?"

"Sorry," Matsuda mumbled.

"Can we move on?" asked Ide.

"Gladly." Aizawa opened the envelope again and looked at it closer. He noticed that the inside was covered in some sort of plastic--probably
so that the smell of the tea wouldn't leak out unless it was actually opened. Turning it upside down, he shook the contents onto his desk. There was a video tape and a photograph.

"Look at the picture," Matsuda said. "There's some really weird stuff in it..."

It had landed face-down, and Aizawa picked it up. For a moment, he couldn't even tell what it was. "Is that... a cake??"

Yamamoto looked at it from over the chief's shoulder. "Um, maybe. It does look like a cake, but it's in the shape of...?"

None of them said it out loud, but then again, there wasn't much say unless they were going to state the obvious.

And in this case, "the obvious" happened to be a cake shaped like an Old English style "L".

Mogi also looked at the photo. He pointed to the corner. "A receipt," he gruffly said.

"Yeah, Matsuda and I noticed that," Ide said. "We looked at it close up, and somehow the date on that receipt reads..." He paused, unsure
how he should continue.

"Well?" Aizawa pushed.

"November 5, 2004," Matsuda softly supplied.

Everyone understood the significance of the date except for Yamamoto. "Huh? What does that mean?"

"It's the date Ryuzaki died," Aizawa said quietly. Then abruptly his tone changed. "But you've gotta be kidding!! This guy knows so much about Ryuzaki that... it's practically impossible!!"

"That's not all," Ide continued. "Look at the name the receipt was actually charged under."

Aizawa, Yamamoto, and Mogi all squinted at the tiny Kanji symbols. Yamamoto was able to read it first, but he didn't quite get the
meaning behind it. "Whoever ordered it, their surname is, um... yoru-kami?"

Aizawa whirled around at him.. "Say that again!"

Yamamoto looked almost afraid because of the crazy look in his boss's eyes. "Um, the Kanji for their last name is night-god. And I can't
tell for sure, but I think this first name reads--"

"Tsuki," Mogi interrupted.

"Crap," muttered Aizawa. Now that he realized who's name it was, he looked at the receipt again and saw it.

夜神 月

Yoru-kami tsuki.

Night-god moon.

Light Yagami.

"Which means that this guy knows a helluva lot more than he should about the Kira investigation," Ide needlessly pointed out.

Aizawa groaned. He could understand why Matsuda and Ide had brought this straight to him without even bothering to watch the tape.

"So what are we going to do about it?" Matsuda asked.

"Like that isn't obvious!" Aizawa grabbed the phone and began dialing.

"Um, Chief?" Yamamoto asked, confused. "What are you doing?"

"Calling L. I don't know about any of you, but I sure as hell won't be able to sort this mess out on my own. "

AN: Hmm, and they haven't even watched the tape yet... Which means that I have to come up with something for L to tell them really fast!! (*sweats a bit*) Nah, just kidding! I already know what he's gonna do!
But if anyone out there wants to take a stab at his genius plan, go ahead. Or if you just want to laugh at poor Matsuda a bit more, then I guess that's okay too. ;-P