CHAPTER 26

Leah POV:

"Leah, it's Charlie. You won't believe this, but I found him. He's alive." Charlie had called me the next morning. I was on the phone with him, and I was in shock!

Finally I said, "What? You found him? Where is he?" I asked.

"Not far. Port Angeles," he replied. Port Angeles! That's less than an hour away! "You're kidding me!"

"Nope. Can you come to the station? I'll tell you all about it," Charlie said. I quickly thought how I would get to Forks. "Um, yea. I can get there. I'll be there as soon as I can. Thanks, Charlie."

"Yep. See ya soon." He hung up. I stood there holding the phone for awhile until I heard it making that awful sound that reminds you to hang up. I pushed the button to hang it up and set it down. He's still alive. And living less than an hour away! What an asshole! There has to be a good reason for that. I tried to think quickly how I could get to Forks. Mom was going in at 11:00 today instead of 2:00, so I couldn't take her car. I wished for the millionth time I had my own car. Jake!

I picked up my bag and slung it over my head and onto my shoulder. I ran out the door and made my way to Jake's. I reached the garage and was so glad to see his Rabbit parked there. I walked into the garage and yelled, "Jake! Are you here?"

He was under a car and said, "Yea, down here." He scooted out and said, "Leah. What's up? You OK?" He sat up and looked at me.

"Yea, I'm fine, but I need to get to Forks. It's really important. Can I borrow your car?"

"Sure, sure. Do you know how to drive a stick?" Shit. Of course I didn't. "No," I answered him. Now what?

"Look, I need to pick up an oil filter and some spark plugs for this bad boy." He stood up and went on, "Why don't I take you into town and I can get what I need while you're doing whatever it is you need to do."

I launched myself at him and hugged him. "Oh thanks, Jake! That would be great!" He hugged me back then I pulled away and he laughed. "Must be pretty important." I nodded and he said, "OK, let me wash up a little and get a shirt, OK?"

I waited impatiently for him to come back. I was even pacing! Josh Uley was alive. What did I want to do about that? I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to talk to the guy. I needed to talk to him and find out why he did what he did.

Jake came back and said, "Ready to go?" I nodded and we walked out to his car. We got in and he took off toward Forks.

After awhile he glanced over at me and asked, "So, are you going to tell me what's going on? Why is it so important for you to get to Forks right now?"

"Um, I can't tell you," I replied.

He glanced at me again and said, "You know, I have all kinds of things going through my mind right now. You're not going to a doctor are you? Are you pregnant, Leah?"

I looked at him and laughed. "Are you serious? You think I would ask you to take me to the doctor because I think I'm pregnant!" I cracked up. "Oh, Jake. No, I'm not pregnant. I'm on the pill."

He laughed and said, "OK, so you're not pregnant. So, what is it?" I looked out the window. Should I tell him? I really want to, but he's so close to Embry. I don't want him to say anything to him. "Leah, come on. You can trust me, you know that, don't you?"

"Yea, I know that, Jake. I would trust you with my life."

He drove in silence for a little while then he glanced at me and said, "Are you in some kind of trouble? Come on, Leah! Give me a fucking clue or something!"

I looked over at him. He was such a great guy. I didn't want him worrying about me. "Alright, Jake. But don't freak out on me, OK?"

He glanced over at me. "Well, that sounds promising."

I smiled as I told him, "I asked Charlie to do some digging and see if he could find anything out about Joshua Uley, Embry and Sam's dad."

He looked at me and said, "Are you fucking kidding me?" I smiled. That was one of his and Embry's favorite sayings. "Do they know you did that?"

"No, and you can't tell them. I just asked Charlie yesterday, and we are going to decide today what to do with the information. Promise you won't say anything, Jake?" I gave him my most pathetic look.

He smiled and said, "No way I'm telling them. I don't want Sam AND Embry kicking my ass! So, I take it that I'm taking you to see Charlie at the station?"

I smiled and answered, "Yes, you are." We drove into Forks and he pulled into the station, parked the car and turned off the engine. I turned in the seat and gave him a look. "What? You think I'm not going in there with you? You got me curious now. I want to know what the hell he found out!" He grinned at me and got out of the car. Me and my big mouth. I opened the car door and got out and we walked inside.

I walked over to Charlie's office and knocked on the door. "Yea, come in," Charlie called out. I looked at Jake and opened the door. "Hey Leah, and Jake?"

"Yea, I had to find a ride to Forks. I went to borrow Jake's car, but didn't realize it was a stick. So, Jake offered to drive me. Um, he knows why I'm here," I added as I sat down in the chair across from Charlie's desk. He raised his eyebrows at me and looked at Jake. "I had to tell him. He was driving me crazy guessing all kinds of horrible reasons why I would want him to drive me to Forks!" Charlie laughed at that.

"I won't say anything, Charlie. I told Leah I don't want Sam and Embry kicking MY ass. "He plopped down in the chair next to me as Charlie smiled.

"Well, here's what I found," he started. He had a file folder in front of him and he opened and went on, "Joshua Uley is alive and living in Port Angeles." Jake looked at me with a shocked look on his face. I knew what was coming next. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Jake said with awe. "How did you find that out?"

"It was pretty easy, actually. I got on the computer and put his name into the data base to see if he had been arrested for anything lately. His name popped up. He got a DUI a few weeks ago. The report said the officer pulled him over for a broken tail light, and he smelled alcohol, so he made him blow into a breathalyzer. Legal limit is .08, and he blew a .09. Not a real big deal, but the officer cited him anyway. Report showed an address in Port Angeles."

I was stunned. I really didn't think it would be that easy! Charlie looked at the two of us and went on, "That was his only offence. He's clean otherwise. Ran a credit check and that didn't really show much. He must be renting, he doesn't have a mortgage or anything. No credit cards. I couldn't find anything else on him."

Jake looked at me and said, "So, now what, Leah? Do we tell Sam and Embry that their dad is alive and living less than an hour away from them? That he never had the decency to pick up a phone and call Sam or his mom to let him know he was alive? I don't know, man. I don't think they'll take it real well."

I just looked at him. I knew he was right. "I don't know, Jake. I don't know what to do, really."

Charlie reached out and put the folder with the information in front of me. "Look, Leah. You need to think about this. I agree with Jake. I don't think they'll take it well. Especially Sam. Look what his mom went through. She never got over his leaving. That's gonna take a lot to forgive."

I nodded and knew he was right. I picked up the folder and said, "Thanks, Charlie. I'll hold on to this and think about what to do with it." I stood up to go. Jake joined me. "Well, if you decide not to tell them, make sure you burn that," Charlie said. "And if you say you got it from me, I'll deny it." He winked at me.

I smiled at that. "Got it. See ya," I said as I turned to go. I heard Jake say, "See ya tonight, Charlie," as I walked out of the office. I kept walking out to the parking lot and over to Jake's car. I opened the door and got inside as Jake hopped in. I just sat there staring at that file folder. I felt like it was burning my hand. I set it on the floor with my bag and sat back to look at Jake. "What the hell are you going to do now?" he asked me.

I looked at him and said, "I want to talk to him. I have to."

"What? Are you crazy, Leah? You want to talk to this guy? What the fuck for? He lives that close and doesn't care that his wife is dead? Doesn't give a shit about his kid? What kind of an asshole does that?" he exploded.

I closed my eyes and said, "Yea, I know. But I just feel like I have to talk to him. For him to live that close . . . I just feel like he had a good reason." I turned to look at Jake and say, "I have to ask him, Jake. I have to know. Look, I didn't mean to drag you into this. I will find a car to borrow, and I will go and see him on my own."

He put his head back and closed his eyes. "Shit," he muttered. He opened his eyes and started the engine. "OK, let's go." He put it in gear and started backing out. "But you're paying for the gas."

"What? You mean, you'll take me?" I asked.

He pulled out onto the road and said, "I'm sure as hell not letting you go alone."

I smiled at him. "Thanks,Jake. I really didn't want to go alone."

He looked at me and rolled his eyes. "Yea, like I would let you go alone. Embry would kill me!" I smiled and shook my head. Why did they always think I needed to be protected? "OK, but I'm buying lunch, too," I said.

He looked at me and said, "Damn right! And I'm hungry!" Then he grinned. That was the Jake I knew and loved.

When we got to Port Angeles, we pulled into a McDonald's to get something to eat and to ask if they knew where Porter Street was. That was the address on the report. We ordered way too much food for two people then I asked the guy behind the counter about the address. He gave us some directions and we thanked him and sat down to eat.

"Sure you want to do this?" Jake said as he shoved some fries into his mouth. I nodded and took a drink of my Coke. "Yea, I do. I'm not sure he'll see us though."

Jake grinned and said, "Oh, he'll see us. I'll make sure of that." I shook my head and threw a fry at him. Of course he picked it up and ate it.

We finished our lunch and got back into the car and followed the directions the guy gave us. "Here it is, Porter Street. Turn here, Jake," I directed. It wasn't the greatest neighborhood. The houses were small and rundown, yards not kept up as nice as they could be. We drove slowly down the narrow street until I saw the house number 679. "Stop here. There it is." I looked at the house and saw it was very small, painted a light brown color, and it had a small porch. This house looked like someone was taking care of it, and the yard had been mowed recently. There was even a pot of flowers sitting on the porch. I wondered for a moment if he had woman living here with him. What if he had more kids? I looked around the yard, but didn't see any evidence of that. No toys or bikes lying around like the neighbors had in their yard.

"So, you getting out?" Jake interrupted my thoughts and I jumped a little. "Oh, uh, yea." I opened the car door and stepped out. So did Jake. Even though I could hold my own, I was kind of glad to have Jake with me. He was pretty intimidating if you didn't know him. He was so tall and full of muscles. Even with his t-shirt on, you could tell he was built. I was really nervous. All of a sudden, I regretted the large amount of food I just ate for lunch! I felt like it might come back up at any time.

"I wonder if he's home," I said. I could see a truck parked on the street, but I didn't know if it was his. We walked slowly up the walk then up the steps onto the porch. I stood in front of the door and looked at Jake. He had a scowl on his face and I smiled at him. I finally got the courage to knock on the door. We heard someone move inside and my heart started beating wildly. Oh God, why am I here? This was a stupid idea! What am I going to say to this man?

Just as I was giving into the idea of turning and running, the door opened and there he stood. I knew it was him right away. He looked just like the picture, only much taller and broader and a little older. He would be about 40 now. He was still very handsome and his hair was dark and shorter than it had been in the picture. He was wearing a tight fitting t-shirt and jeans. "What can I do for you? I don't have any money to buy anything," he said.

Jake elbowed me and I said, my voice shaking a little, "Uh, we're not selling anything. I just want to talk to you Mr. Uley. My name is Leah. Leah Clearwater. And this is Jacob Black. Can we come in?" I saw the shock in his face when he heard our names. He knew who we were and where we were from.

"I don't think that's a good idea," he said as he started to close the door. Jake shot his hand out and held the door. "Look, mister, we drove all this way, and I think you have a few minutes to answer some questions, OK?" Jake's look was menacing. Josh knew he didn't have a choice, even though I realized, as big as he was, it would be an even fight between them. He stepped back from the door and Jake pushed it open for me to walk in.

We stepped inside into a small living room. It was a cozy room, but dark. There was a small loveseat and a chair, with a reading lamp behind it, and a coffee table cluttered with newspapers and magazines and a coffee cup with coffee still in it. The room had a small fireplace on one wall, and there were pictures on the mantle. I couldn't help myself. I drifted over to look at the pictures. I was stunned when I noticed who was in the first photograph I saw! That's Sam! As a little boy, with his mom. There was another one of Josh holding Sam when he was around two. There was a framed photo of Levi Uley and his wife that I recognized from Embry's book that Emily made him, and another of Josh, and his wife and Sam, probably taken right before Joshua left. Sam was maybe 4 in the photo. I frowned as I picked up a frame that held a picture of Sam as a teenager. How did he have this one? He was old enough to drive because he was standing in front of the old car he bought when he was seventeen. I spent a lot of time riding around in that car with him. I turned and looked at Joshua. "Where the hell did you get this picture?" I asked. Jake stepped over and looked at it.

"I took it," Joshua said quietly. Jake and I both looked up at him and I said, "What? You took it?"

He nodded. "I have a photo album full of pictures of him. Do you want to sit down? I am sure you have a lot of questions you want to ask." I looked at Jake and put the picture back on the mantle. He nodded and we went to the loveseat and sat down.

"Yea, I have a question," Jake started. "Like, how the hell does a guy have the balls to walk away from his family and never come back? Never pickup a phone to let them know he was still alive? Never show up for his wife's funeral? Oh wait, I guess that was three questions," Jake added sarcastically.

I stared at Joshua. I tried hard to read him, but I couldn't. I remember that Angie said he was rather quiet, and I understood that now. He finally took a deep breath and said, "I can see why you would be angry. It looked that way, didn't it? Before I give you any answers, let me ask you, how did you find me, and does Sam know you're here? I take it your friends of Sam's."

"No, he doesn't we're here," I answered. "I used to date Sam, but now we are just really good friends. Jake is one of his best friends. I found you through Charlie Swan, the sheriff in Forks."

"My girlfriend's dad," Jake added in a menacing tone.

Joshua nodded then he looked at Jake and smiled. "I take it you must belong to Billy Black. I see the resemblance. And, you said your last name was Clearwater? As in Harry Clearwater?"

"Yes, he was my dad."

"Was?"

"Yes, he died recently," I said softly.

"I'm sorry to hear that, I really am. Harry was a good man." I looked at him as he said that. He looked like he really meant that.

"So, anyway, Charlie put your name into his computer and it popped up because of your DUI," I told him. "We got your address from the report. I know it probably wasn't legal, but I didn't really care."

He smiled. "Pretty smart, really. Yea, that was a tough day for me. Did you see the date on that arrest report?" I shook my head and looked at Jake who just shrugged. "Sam's wedding day. I really wanted to be there for him, but I knew it was another red letter day for Sam that I would have to miss. Just like his birthdays, Christmases, graduation. So, I hit a bar on the way home from work and, well, alcohol doesn't really affect me, but I had to try. After 8 beers, I only blew a .09. Guess that was a waste of money, huh?"

"How did you know it was Sam's wedding day?" I asked him.

"I still get the local newspaper. I saw the announcement," he explained.

I forgot that Emily had put her engagement announcement in the LaPush paper. I nodded.

Jake leaned forward and said gruffly, "Alright, start talking. Answer my questions already, will ya?"

Joshua looked over at him and smiled. "OK. I'm not sure where to start." He took a deep breath and said, "I know what you must think of me. What they all must think. I know Sam hates me, and that's what hurts the most. I didn't want to leave them. Maybe you don't believe that, but I didn't. I had to." He looked over at Jake and said, "You're a big guy. How old are you?"

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Jake asked. I looked at him then answered Joshua for him, "He's 18."

"That's what I thought. How long have you been phasing into wolf form? Not long, I'll bet." Both Jake and I just stared at him. Jake stuttered, "How did . . . you know about that?"

Joshua got a strange look on his face and looked away for a moment. Then he looked back at Jake and said, "I know, because I, too, am a wolf. You see, I'm a mix of Quileute and Makah. It's not always a good mix. There are a very small percentage of us with that mixture of genes that cause us to phase into a wolf, but very different from you. It's not a blessing in any way, Jacob. It is very much a curse. The first time it happened to me, my grandfather Levi was still alive. He took me under his wing and tried to help. That's when he realized what I really was. He told me that I had to go away, to go to the Makah and tell them. There was a pack of wolves like me there, and he knew they could help me. It didn't happen to me when I was in my teens like you. I was 22, already married, with a little boy. The first time, I . . . well, it was terrifying. My grandfather sent word that I had gone hunting with him so they wouldn't worry about me. In fact, he wasn't really lying. When I came out of it, I was so afraid of hurting them. I tried to stay away from them, keep my distance. But Mary knew something was wrong, and I couldn't tell her. Even Sam knew something was different. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at me." Joshua closed his eyes for a moment. "And that killed me."

Jake asked, "What is so different about you? I never heard anything about this."

He looked at Jacob and said, "No, you wouldn't have. The Quileute don't like to talk about us. We are the misfits." He stood up and went to the mantle and picked up the picture of him holding Sam. He gazed at it for a moment then put it back down and turned to us. "When I phase, it isn't to protect humans from vampires. You are a shape shifter, Jacob. You take the form of a wolf. I'm more werewolf than you." He hesitated then said, "You see, I hunt and kill, but not just vampires. That's the genetic flaw. When I phase into wolf form, I lose myself completely and the werewolf takes over. To me, all human forms are targets. It's . . . horrible. Worse than any nightmare you've ever had. Hell could not be as bad as living like this." He turned back to the mantle and slumped his shoulders.

I looked at Jake and he looked at me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Could this be true? Or is this an elaborate story just to cover up his poor life choices? "Are you serious?" Jake asked in awe.

He turned back to us and gave us a sad smile. "Yes, very. I don't phase with the moon or anything like in the movies. I wish I did because then I could be ready. But, unfortunately, I have very little warning. You know how you had that fever the first time you phased?" Jake and I both nodded. "And then what you went through right after? That's what happens to me every time. When I was young and first phasing, I would feel the fever come on, and I knew that I had very little time before I was completely gone. And I never knew when it would happen. I might go three days then phase for three or four then be human again for maybe five days." He shook his head and went on, "That's why I had to go. I could not take even the slightest chance that I would hurt Mary or Sam. I loved them, and was so afraid that in my frenzy, I wouldn't be able to keep myself from hurting them . . . or worse. So, one night, I left. I thought about faking my death so they could move on after awhile without me. But, for some reason, I thought that somehow, someone could help to know how to beat this, or at least, how to live with it. I guess I wanted some way to be able to come back if that happened. "

"Anyway, I left for the Makah Reservation. I looked there for the man that Grandpa told me to find. I finally found him and he took me in and told me a little more about what I was. He told me to go north to a reservation there. That's where the misfits like me all lived. It was very remote and they mostly attacked animals because there weren't many humans around. I went there and stayed for 9 years. It was such a pitiful existence. I pretty much lost myself and became the wolf. But in my few human moments, I kept thinking about my family. About everyone I left behind. Sam was growing older and I was missing so much! I decided I had to try to come back. I finally left there and came here. I wanted to be close to them, but have some distance, too, just in case I couldn't control things. I got a job at the docks, and tried to stay in control as best I could. I had learned some techniques from a man at the rez up north to help me hold off a little longer when the fever set in. As soon as I felt the fever coming on, I would try to get out of town and head to the most remote place I could find. I can't say it always worked. Sometimes, I would find a human before I could . . . but, anyway."

He moved back to sit in the chair. "I had been here about a month, and my thoughts kept turning to Mary and Sam. I wondered how they were doing and I knew Sam had probably grown so much! I had to see them. So, I drove to LaPush and parked down the street from the school. I knew Sam would be in about 8th grade or so, so I put on a baseball cap and some sunglasses and sat there and waited for school to get out. I was shaking sitting there, I was so nervous. I was afraid he would recognize me somehow. The doors opened and kids came pouring out, running for the buses. Then I saw him! He came walking out slowly with a backpack on his back. No friends walking with him. He made his way slowly to the bus and walked up the steps and disappeared inside." I could see the guilt and sadness in his eyes as he talked. "That was hard to see, knowing I had done that to him." Joshua had his arm propped on the arm of the chair, and he rested his head in his hand and was quiet for a moment.

He put his head up and looked at us. "I made trips to LaPush every couple of weeks or so. I bought a camera with a telephoto lens. I would find out of the way spots to observe Mary and Sam and I would snap pictures of them. I wanted so badly to run to them, to tell them I was here, and I was alive! But I still couldn't take the chance. My phasing was still too frequent. I would never put them in danger like that. So, I stayed in the shadows."

"I remember the day I found out that Mary died." He put his head down and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose with his finger and thumb. Jake and I were engrossed in his story. We didn't move a muscle. I was barely breathing. "I ordered a subscription to the LaPush paper, but I put it in my neighbor's name. I pick it up from him once a week. So one day, I opened the paper, and there it was. Her . . . obituary." He had to stop. "I can't even begin to describe how I felt when I read it." He looked at Jacob and said, "I wanted to be there, Jacob, I really did. Especially for Sam. He was only 16, and now he had no parents. I guess his grandmother had moved in with them, so at least he had someone to watch out for him. I waited until after the funeral, and I drove to the cemetery. I took some white roses with me and I laid them on her grave." I could see the tears in his eyes. "Mary didn't deserve the life she had. We were very young when we got married. We had only dated a short time, and well, she found out she was pregnant. I did the proper thing and asked her to marry me. It's not that I didn't love her, I did, but not like I should have. Not like she deserved. But, I wished many times that we had not rushed into things, you know? It wasn't fair to her."

I thought about Angie. Is that why he didn't love Mary as much? Did he still care for Angie?

"So, anyway, I still made my trips to LaPush to keep an eye on Sam. I was afraid for him. He was getting closer to the age I was when I first phased, and I wasn't sure if he would turn into . . . well, if he would be like me. I had a bad spell and couldn't get back to check on him for about three months. The next time I saw him, I knew. He was huge, and he was running through town with no shirt on. I knew then that he had phased. But into what? I wasn't sure how to find out. I parked my truck at the LaPush beach and I walked out into the woods a little and found a place to hide. I did that for a few nights then finally, one night, he came into sight. I knew it was him right away. This wolf trotted right into the clearing and he was big and black, but he had Sam's eyes. I felt relief wash over me. I knew he was just out running, not hunting. I watched him run off and I went back to my truck and drove home."

"Once I knew he was not going to be like me, I pulled back on my trips. I guess I figured he deserved to live his life without me spying on him anymore." He looked at us and smiled. "His wife sure is beautiful. They looked happy in that picture in the paper. Are they?" he asked me.

It took me a minute to realize he was asking me a question. I was completely overwhelmed but what I had just heard. "Oh, uh, yea. Emily is my cousin, actually. They are very happy. And . . . Emily is pregnant."

"Really? Well, that's wonderful," he said with a smile.

I looked over at Jacob who was very quiet. I think he was overwhelmed by Joshua's story, too. Could it really be true? Did he leave to protect his family? The family he loved? I looked back at Joshua. I was starting to believe it.