These Black Eyes Chapter 202: Gray Days part 2, a teen titans fanfic

202. Gray Days part 2

"It's a simple truth, Phil. The Titans are young. It's quite obvious that beneath all of the costume and vigilante splendor, they're simply children—"

"Teenagers?"

"Same thing in my book."

"Ah……do continue."

"For two years, they have been successful enough to defend the City and fight crime without suffering a single fatality amongst them. And now with Robin's passing, they've entered a world that is new to them. And it's devastating. Especially for heroes of such a young age and—dare I say—innocent caliber."

"But would you agree, Mr. Bringham, that when the former Titan Terra turned to stone at the end of Slade's Occupation that then TOO the Titans felt what loss is?"

"That isn't quite the same thing, Phil. Also keep in mind that Terra had betrayed the Titans. The last moments up to her supposed redemption were that of the Titans being in opposition against her. With Robin's death, they had lost both a 'family member' and a iconographic leader all the same. The devastation in this case takes on a whole new angle. And also recall that Terra's statue was stolen just hours before the Boy Wonder's horrific, burning demise."

"True……true……"

"That, and the City's holocaust, and all that has transpired within the last two weeks have combined to jostle the Titans like nothing has ever challenged them before—I'm convinced. Already it is rumored that Cyborg is doing nothing to reclaim Tempest and Noir—who have already left the team. Whatever the Titans once were for this City, they are no longer. And whatever they are now…it may indeed be nothing at all. I think this is the beginning of the end."

"Very interesting perspective………and now how about you, Frederick Smith? Since Blake Glover couldn't be joining us today, it looks like the microphone is going to you sooner than you'd anticipate."

"I think it's too early to tell what will happen to the Titans, Phil. First of all, I don't think of them exactly as children. They've endured unimaginable hardships and tribulations prior to these horrific events……and I am talking about things that not even of three of us can imagine, Mr. Bringham included."

"Mmmhmm."

"Right."

"I think the tenacity of the Titans is far too great to fall apart at events even as dire as these latest incidents. Superheroes are resilient. Young or not, their experience is relative. And oftentimes it is they who shape and form the City in which they live and defend. The fact that our population hasn't entirely abandoned the metropolitan area and the City is being rebuilt is a testament—I believe—that the Titans themselves are only prone to rebuild. Even if—temporarily—members of the party leave for the time being."

"But what Mr. Bringham brought up is a valid point. Robin is the first case of one of their numbers dying. The Titans are meeting an obstacle they had never encountered before. Wouldn't this break the pattern?"

"No, Phil. I don't believe it will. I believe the Titans have been and shall always be stronger in numbers than ever they were strong with just Robin or just Raven or just—"

"You believe that they're a competent team?"

"I most certainly do."

"And these latest rumors about the City hiring members of the Justice League………"

"I'm convinced that we don't need the Justice League here. Yes, the JL have proven that they can protect entire metropolises as a team. But the Titans have proven that here as well. Yes, there was such terrible……terrible loss of life and spirit on November Fourth. But it would have been so much worse if the Titans hadn't intervened on Dagger's plans. Does anyone here remember the sacrifices Cyborg made to protect the hospital from the ballistic missile? Or Beast Boy with the sonic concussion streamer? Or—"

"But the ultimate sacrifice was made Robin. A sacrifice one too much. And just who benefited from that? Certainly not the Titans!"

"But how do we know that, Bringham? The things that happen with the Titans are—like all supeheroes—almost always behind closed doors. For all we know, what Robin did was not in vain! Maybe the reason why the Titans are so reclusive is because they're working on something! Perhaps Tempest and Noir left not so much on their own accord but rather to enact some sort of secret operation—"

"Gentlemen, I'm sorry to interrupt. But we must have a word from our sponsors."

"Understood."

"Fine by me. I'm running out of breath!"

"Heheheheheh."

"Very well. You've been watching the "Weekly Table". When we come back……'The League Question'. We'll hear more from regional experts about the possibility of entreating the Justice League for emergency intercession upon the event of future, urban terrorism. Are the Titans truly enough to protect this City? And if not, to what extent do we need to hire more metaphysical protectors? What impact does such brazen villainy at the hands of mysterious people like Dagger have on the world's growingly sympathetic view on vigilantism? More on this in just a moment. I'm Phil Garrison. Thanks for joining us……"

T-T-T-T-T-T-

November 19, 2004

Friday.

Titan's Tower.

10:23 am

T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos……Azarath Metrion Zinthos….Azarath Metrion Zinthos….."

She floated just a foot or two above the edge of the Titan's Tower rooftop.

Her legs buterrflying gently.

Her arms apart and her fingers touching.

Meditating.

Meditating….

Meditating……..

The words rolled off her tongue and filtered out into the November wind blowing under the bright sun.

She shivered. Whatever skin that was exposed shook from the cold.

She didn't care.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos……Azarath Metrion Z—"

She stopped in mid-chant.

Her violet eyes fluttered open.

A beat.

She lowered herself gently to her feet.

She padded over to the rooftop's edge.

She leaned against the ledge and gazed out across the inner body of the Bay.

Past the Suspension Bridge.

Westward.

"……………"

A breath.

"If all else fails….I hope you find yourself, at least….," she said to the West.

And she turned.

And she descended through the stairwell on the rooftop.

Leaving meditation…

T-T-T-T-T-T-

Starfire hummed in the Main Room. Wearing a white apron, she hovered back and forth in the kitchen unit between dishes and skillets and pots full of white, cooking substances. The air had a stale smell about it that was…faintly 'edible'.

Raven padded into the room from the side stairwell. She paused. Blinking.

A beat.

"Starfire….."

"Hmmm?" Starfire looked over. She smiled. "Fair morning to you, Raven! You seem to be done early with your meditation."

Raven's violet eyes narrowed. She craned her neck curiously and looked. "……….you're making tofu?"

"Indeed. Tofu mlorgnok."

"……really."

"Yes. It is a combination of soy products and the customary dish from my planet."

"Uhm….wouldn't you need some special ingredients fro—"

"Merely some seasoning. Seasoning that has proven edible when Noir was still here," Starfire said. A sigh…but a content curve to her lips. "He was brave in allowing himself to practice his palette on my native cuisine."

"Right. I was the one to help him hobble to the bathroom a few times."

"Indeed, Raven. You were quite the supportive companion to Noir in his time of need. Whether he was vomiting from my food or simply requiring a warm hand to—"

"Where's Cyborg."

"……," Starfire blinked. "Why….he went to Town early this morning. I caught sight of him while I was starting here in the kitchen."

"I see……"

"Would you like a sampler of meat substitute Tamaranian mlorgnok?"

"Eh….," Raven droned. She waved a disapproving hand. "That stuff would better be given to Beast Boy."

"But I am making them for Beast Boy."

"…..," Raven blinked. "You are?"

"Mmmmhmm. We are going to enjoy the City today. We hear that the cloud cover is breaking…"

Raven looked out the window.

The Bay stretched towards the City under a wavering sky.

Half-gray.

"Y-Yeah….."

A beat.

Raven looked Starfire's way: "Did Cyborg say exactly where he was going?"

"Indeed. Phaser Labs."

Raven looked surprised. "Phaser Labs? But they leveled it to the ground…."

"Oh no, dear friend. The other Phaser Labs."

"…….."

"The new one."

T-T-T-T-T-T-

Raven floated down the half-constructed stairs of a fresh, basement laboratory to an even fresher pavilion. Phaser Labs was being rebuilt, and half of the structure—from a project already underway during November Fourth—resided in the Western District just between the park and the rich housing complexes. There was a lush, free feeling about the 'new' Phaser Labs. The large, flat, two-story structure was far away from the original site where it was constricted by towering hotel buildings and a passing highway overpass.

There was a sparkling sound in the bare-bones laboratory. As Raven descended the steps, she paused with a hand resting on the railing. She was dressed in a casual pair of dark-gray jeans and a long-sleeved sweater for the cold November City. She gazed gently from where she paused and saw Cyborg kneeling at a huge console standing out in the barren room. It was a computer mainframe of sorts, and he was just putting the finishing touches on installing it.

Whurrrrr-Zzzt!

Chtunk!

"There…..," Cyborg muttered to himself. He didn't so much as see a peripheral glimpse of Raven.

The dark girl watched as his titanium fingers worked the console. A turn of a knob. A flip of a switch. And

"Zztttt-zkkkk!"

"Yo! Simon! Are you there, old man?"

"Snkkkktttkk!"

"Hey! Wake your glitchy head up!" Cyborg smacked the side of the console. THWACK!

Raven momentarily found it hard to keep a straight face. However, she kept a serious expression as the speakers crackled one last time and a flickering image popped up on the tiniest of holographic pedestals.

"V-Vic? Victor, is that you?"

Cyborg took a deep breath. He smiled ever so slightly. "Welcome to your new home, ya old fart."

"…………," the hologram's eyes darted both left and right. A pause. A flicker. He looked tinily at Cyborg. "Not very sexy, now is it?"

"Feh! What do you know?"

"This is the new facility……"

"Of course it is. You're telling me you've never seen it?"

"The schematics, I have," the hologram nodded. "So, yes……in theory I've born witness to this place."

"Ah. So you spent long hours reading the blueprints?"

"Vic, I was the blueprints."

Cyborg winced. "R-Right…."

The hologram smirked and pointed a flickering 'finger' at his skull. "I'm not entirely here. Remember?"

"Yeah. Something to that extent."

A beat.

"So I guess I'll be staying here for quite a while," Simon Stone folded his chests and treaded back and forth on two hands as if trying to shake dust off his holographic shoes. "It'll give me enough time to think up superior security algorithms the likes of which even Dagger can't hack into. Won't that be a sight to see."

"……….."

"Victor?"

"……….."

"Come on. What's troubling you, kid?"

"Nothing I can complain about, Uncle Simon. I just……"

A beat.

Raven leaned her head to the side. Gently listening.

"A lot has happened in the last two weeks. And something tells me they could be happening for the better if I'd only done things a little differently…"

"We spend way too much regretting stuff, my boy…," Uncle Simon said. "Valuable time that can instead be spent making things better."

"Heh. Damn straight."

"Do you feel like things have been going wrong?"

"……."

"In your hands?"

"Ah…jeez. Thanks."

"Heheheh……don't mention it."

"Ahem…..I dunno, Simon. I know that by keeping a watch on the base here in the City…by keeping whatever teammates I can on these grounds….I've saved them an awful lot of further pain and strouble."

"True. True."

"But there's still pain, ya know? Not just with Robin gone. But this whole Terra stuff and Noir and Tempest ditching us. I know I can pursue any and all three of them. But each route only divides us. It only separates the team further. Tell me…what should I do? Should I keep things the way they are…safe but going nowhere? Or should I do start the Titans on conducting a search? It might make them happy, but I'm more than certain it'll screw us in the end. What am I missing here? What am I doing wrong?"

"I'd love to be the magical faerie uncle who could just…whisk all those troubles away, Vic—"

"Faerie!"

"Bah! Fine. Just 'magical Uncle'."

"Heh……okay……"

"But I wouldn't be able to make the decision for you. Nobody can make the decision for you. This is your team. Your leadership. Your contract. Make with it as it has been given to you. By Robin or by providence or whatever. Do what's best for the team. Would you rather them survive and be miserable? Then go that route. If you'd want to risk them but give them a sense of route, then do that! But if you can find a golden mean in the middle of it all……"

"That's exactly where I want to shoot," Cyborg muttered. A sigh. He hung his head and rubbed his hand over the human part of his skull. "But it's not so easy these days."

"Why's that?"

"Noir and Tempest left, Simon. It's just me, Star, Beast Boy, and Rae now. Four of the original five. I'm not gonna lose that for the life of me. But there's….there's such a rift. And I believe it's my fault."

The hologram tilted his head to the side.

"What kind of rift are we talking about here?"

"Well, ever since Raven and I…….erhm…..," Cyborg blushed some. "….ever since we got closer…."

Simon smirked mischievously. "Mmmhmmmm…"

Cyborg tried to ignore that. "She and I have been together on 'rearing' the new Titans. And Starfire and Beast Boy….I don't think they're really spanking excited about the way things are."

"I see……"

"How I've decided to keep us here…rather than search for Terra."

"You don't want to let them down. After all—if it's Dagger we're dealing with—finding Terra is infeasible at best."

"See! Now that's what I thought--"

"Spoken like a true android," Simon said. "Calculating. Estimating. Deducing……" A beat. "But not spoken like a Stone."

Cyborg frowned: "Now what's that supposed to mean?"

"You want my advice or not, my boy?"

"………."

"Now……," the hologram gestured with his hands. "What is it that has kept you and me so rambunctiously 'alive' in spite of all the electrical odds against us?"

"Uhm…….c-circuitry?"

"Bah! Think, kid! THINK! The Stones may not look it, but we're all still flesh! We still carry on the blood of our name inside."

"………"

"Family, Vic. Family. Family has been more important to us than anything else. Now…keeping the Titans here and not going after Terra protects the crime fighting team only so far. What about the family, Vic? What about those you've grown to love."

"I suppose you can say that I'm doing this out of love, old man! I'm keeping the whole crazy lot of us safe!"

"………"

Cyborg sighed. He drooped his shoulders and breathily admitted: "It's not a labor of love for the family. It's a love for safety…."

"And who are we to forget……that the best families are those that purposefully survive through strife?"

"…….."

"I hear that Robin died fighting. And quite a fitting thing, that……," the hologram flickeringly smiled. "The one thing that defined the past leader of the Titans was his overall stupidity."

"Heheheh…..you got that right."

"What I mean to say is, he took risks, Vic. He took risks……all the time."

"Yeah…..he never let anything stop him. Not even…..f-fear…."

"………"

"Simon. We lost so much on November Fourth. Look at you! Look at the cruddy new 'labs' around you! You lost so much! We've lost so much! Please give me a break! I-I did what was best for the Titans. I….."

"If you are so sure of things, why are you here alone, Vic?"

Raven took a deep breath. Her hand gently rose up the stair's railing…

"I…..I let Noir go West on his own…," Cyborg uttered quietly. "I know he's fast and stubborn and hard to catch once he sets his mind—and feet to something. But I could have stopped him ahead of time. If nothing else, I…..I-I could have given in. I could have given in and actually agreed to help him f-" Cyborg froze. Blinking his one human eye. He turned slowly and gazed at the stairwell leading up from the laboratory. "……"

Nobody was there.

A beat.

"Something wrong, Vic?"

Cyborg sighed. "Yeah….," his eyes shut and he gazed towards the floor. "Something is…."

T-T-T-T-T-T-

Raven walked a few feet out along the walled exterior of the partially constructed labs. She froze and leaned back against the wall. Hugging her sweatered arms to herself. She sighed and shut her eyes some.

"…….."

A beat.

A cold breath of hair kicked at her blue bangs.

She gazed up towards the partially gray sky. The Sun fighting to break through.

She uttered: "Noir isn't always right, Cyborg. He sacrificed himself for the Titans once, he didn't have to do it again." She gazed blankly through the sight of the Labs. "I'm….I'm proud of you." A beat. "Proud of you and angry all the same. And I'm certain the other Titans feel the same, in that they appreciate the decisions you've made."

A beat.

She walked off and muttered to herself: "In fact, right now I believe they're content as can be…."

T-T-T-T-T-T-

"Star…I swear…this is the best stuff I've eaten since…since…..do babies eat things in their mother's womb?"

"Hehehehe," Starfire giggled. She cleaned off the last of her plate of tofu mlorgnok. "I am quite ecstatic that you would like it. History has proven that my cooking endeavors here on Earth have proven more calamitous than otherwise."

"You can't go wrong with Tofu, I guess….," Beast Boy said. He suppressed a hearty belch, simpered, and said: "Excuse me."

"You are excused. Tamaranians take no offense to the glory-burp—"

"No, I mean….hehehe…it's not the tofu that counts. Thanks for making lunch, Starfire. You're always such a nice…dudette."

"If you insist," Starfire winked. She put the spent plates away in a cooler.

The two sat on a blanket in the middle of the City Park under the early afternoon sun. Around them—across the green expanse of clean cut grass—families were sparsely returning to the outdoorsy scene. Mothers walked briskly on the paths with their strollers. Couples gathered on benches alternately with old people. And then there was even a few kids on a distant playground set.

Starfire dusted her hands off. "I must state however…"

"Mmmm?" Beast Boy asked, sipping from a juice box.

"You and the rest of my friends have always been insistent on complimenting me for almost the littlest of duties I perform. In fact, it was just the other day that Cyborg said something to the extent that my laundry skills were most analogous to a huge explosion."

"………..," Beast Boy blinked. "Da Bomb?"

"Erhm…," Starfire blushed. "Yes."

"Hehehehehehe!" Beast Boy hugged his chest and plopped over against the blanket and grass.

Starfire pouted, her arms crossed. "I fail to see the connection of week-old laundries and highly volatile agents of destruction!"

"Ohhhhhhh Star…..," Beast Boy half-sat up on his elbows and smiled over at her. "After all these months…do you ever stop being so….innocent?"

"I….uhm…."

"And nice?"

"Cease and desist, Beast Boy…," she simpered with a red face and looked off. "You are becoming the Fluster."

"The fluster? What the f—" Beast Boy's eyes widened and he slapped his hands over his lips. "Er…I mean…."

"Huh?"

"….never mind."

"Oh….."

A beat.

"Th-Thanks again, Star. Seriously….," Beast Boy said. His voice was a bit lower. A bit straighter. He laid his head back and gazed up at the upside down crevices in the clouds. "I hope you haven't…uhm……that you haven't done all of this cuz…..ya know…."

Starfire glanced at him sideways with bright green eyes. "Huh?"

He bit his lip. "….because of what happened yesterday."

"Beast Boy…," she gently insisted. "I desired companionship. You are a dear friend to me. I only wanted to enjoy the day with you. I would have proposed this outing negligent of what transpired yesterday."

"S-Sometimes….though….," he hesitated but for a moment before letting it out: "I think you're trying to protect me."

"…..p-protect you?"

"Perhaps 'protect' is not the word," he murmured. A deep, warm breath. The rays of the Sun were gently striking them. The cold shadow of the November clouds faded some. "Every time I've ever been in a funk, you've been there to quickly hug me right out of it, Star."

"I am……sorry?"

"N-No! Don't apologize! P-Please!" Beast Boy smiled nervously. "I'm just trying to say—"

"Say what, Beast Boy?"

He took swallowed. His eyelids closed and he gazed towards the Earth. "I just wish you didn't feel like you had to do it sometimes…"

"……"

"I wish I was a bit more stronger. I wish I didn't have to flip out all psycho-like at criminals and cry to my pitiful self afterwards. I wish…..that I was more of a man."

"Being a male…," Starfire paused. She resumed: "Being a Terran male requires the stimulation of versatility all the same as resilience against emotions, I gather. You only learn to guard yourself against extreme feelings by being willing to exercise the very same passions you fear may overtake you. When I see you getting angry or sad, Beast Boy, I do not see a failure in his own gender. I see a Terran who is evolving and growing up. Who is maturing."

"Failing my own gender….heh….that's rich," Beast Boy chuckled.

Starfire smiled. At his mild laughing noise, at least.

A beat.

Beast Boy mumbled: "I've been…..thinking about her a lot lately, Star."

"Mmmhmm…," she gently nodded. She too lay down and gazed at the sky. Her hands rested between the earthen blanket and her red head of hair.

"But….it's been good thoughts," he said. A gently crooked smile. "Good, happy thoughts."

"Do you desire to share them, Beast Boy?"

"……….."

Silence.

He took a breath, scratched his chin, and gradually uttered: "I think I make myself look like an idiot more than I truly am….."

"Hehehehe…if you insist."

"……"

"Ahem. Do please continue, Garfield."

"But there's one thing I've kinda come to accept. And it was a long time ago, no matter what jokes I'm sure I made about it."

"What is that?"

"I found out that I'm….erm…..I'm not quite….the Casanova that I thought I was."

"……?"

"The ladies of this world aren't all trying to crawl all over me."

"………"

He turned his head and looked at her past the cooler. "Can you believe that, Star?"

"Eep! Huh?"

"Can you believe that?"

"I…..uhm….I-I-I would not know, Beast Boy…b-because….erhm….y-y-your earthly ways of courtship are m-most…uhm…strange to me…," she simpered nervously.

"……….," Beast Boy's eyes narrowed.

Starfire bit her lip and slowly gazed off.

"Ahem. Well….I'm not ladies' man. I grew out of that ego-rut when I met Terra. You know why?"

"Why, Beast Boy?"

"Because I loved her. And she loved me. I j-just knew it. And….And for the first time….for the first time, I had a significant other in my life. I had someone I was in loved with and who was in love with me. And…..I-I could just feel it. I could….almost touch it. I could fluff it up and wrap it around me and sleep in it…," he hugged himself with a distant, drunken smile. A sigh. An exhale: "You know the feeling, right? The feeling?"

"Yes….," Starfire murmured into the half-gray skies. "I most certainly do…."

"Anyways. I knew that I was in love. And I felt that. And it was both warming….and scary…."

"Hmm?"

"Very…wicked….scary. I mean….wow! There I was! My heart entwine with another, warm living person's soul! That's uber deep eternal stuff! Cupid with a shotgun!"

"Hehehehehe….indeed."

"I was scared about being the person she wanted. I was scared about whether or not I could give her the things that she needed. If I could make her happy. If I could keep her trust. If I could…..uhm…..lift seventy pounds."

"Eh?"

"An-Anywho…..all that scariness….it all faded away…when I so much as saw her. Felt her hand in mine. Felt her hair. Her smell…egads, Star. What is the secret to girls smelling so good?"

"X'hal beg your pardon. Whatever do you mean, Beast Boy?"

"Pfft! Don't be coy, Star! What's with you girls and smelling heavenly all the time?"

"I am most certainly not the coy! I know very little of what you mean. Besides—as intense studies on my behalf have proven—the Terran sense of smell is nearly seventy percent more efficient than a Tamaranian's on behalf of highly evolved nostrils and mammalian nasal cavities. That is most likely why—according to Raven—I have been so unaffected by the supposed hideousness of yours and Noir's and Tempest's laundry when I—"

"Ah, never mind. Anyways, Terra smelled like heaven."

"Did she truly?"

"God, freakin' vanilla was built into her skin! She used to get freaked out cuz I…uhm…I-I…….," Beast Boy suddenly blushed.

And Starfire seemed suddenly interested. "You did what, Beast Boy?" Thin, knowing eyes.

He gulped. He murmured: "I sniffed her shoulders."

"Her shoulders?"

"Remember that one time we all went to the beach?"

"Do you refer to Lake Weston?"

"No. Up by Metropolis. The Ocean. Cyborg drove you, me, and Terra there. It was about three weeks before….you know…."

Starfire nodded.

"Ahem. Yeah, well. Terra and I started getting giggly and drunk off of Mountain Dew. We laughed and tossed sand at each other under Cyborg's robo-umbrella. And then we made a trade off. I'd get to smell her skin and…..erm…."

"Yes? Hehehe…..what bartering did you employ yourself in?"

"Ew. Dude, Star….that sounds totally wrong."

"Hrmm?"

"Nothing happened."

"Nothing? But for a moment there you seemed ready to admit—"

"She snuggled my pointed ears."

"………………..Meep?"

"……..huh?"

"She did what?"

"She…erm….sn-snuggled my ears, Star."

"………."

"Simple as that."

"Oh, b-but of course. I am not attempting to disprove that. But…..I-I am merely curious…."

"Hoo boy….here it comes…," he winced.

"How….did she manage to snuggle your pointy ears?"

Beast Boy blinked. "Oh….um….."

"They are most petite, gentle and—hehe—admittedly cute. But I do not see how she could—"

"I dunno how she did it. All I know is that she…erm…snuggled them. She said that she did and I remember her smiling at the time. So….yeah. I got vanilla skin. She got my ears. Not the fairest thing in my book, but as long as she was happy. Hehehehe……..whew…."

"Hmm?"

"Nothing just….," Beast Boy subconsciously traced a finger over the tip of his elfin left ear lobe. "…..j-just….sometimes I can still feel her."

"Truly?"

"Yeah. I'll be taking a shower andoh wait. Scratch that. Ahem. I'll be lying in bed. And—you know how you spend the entirety of a cold, wintry night tossing and turning to find that perfect spot in the core of all your bundles of blankets and comforters and sheets where you're all warm and toasty?"

"Hehehehehe….most assuredly I do…."

"It's whenever I find that spot that…..like…I-I feel her. It's like I'm there on the beach again in my mind. I'm leaning back. My head's in her lap. And….sh-she's snuggling my ears."

"…….."

"I……I-I tend to go to sleep like that. Half-dreaming, I guess. Sometimes I wake up happy. Sometimes sad. But I always…always sleep nicely."

"That is a comforting thought, Beast Boy."

"Yeah…..," he sighed. He hugged himself as he stared up at the sky. "It is…."

"……."

"…….."

"……..I do not know what I have ever said previously, but now seems to be an exemplary time to make a confession," Starfire said.

Beast Boy looked at her curiously. "A confession? About what, Star?"

"When I….When I fell in love with Robin….," she murmured. There was a lingering residue to her voice. Like a repressed guilt. "….it was not love at first sight."

"Heh. It only works for some."

"But there was definitely something about Robin that caught my attention immediately," she said. Her cheeks were a little red.

Beast Boy raised his eyebrow.

"I was….erhm….," Starfire hesitated. "He……I felt…."

"You were infatuated."

Starfire jolted. She looked at Beast Boy, blinking.

He smirked. "Don't look so surprised! That's how it starts most of the time, I guess. Though we don't want to admit and stuff."

"I have no trouble admitting the fact that Robin was……most attractive," she murmured. "Sometimes, though, I feel guilty."

"Huh?"

"Er….I felt guilty," Starfire said. "That was at a time before my infatuation with Robin turned into true admiration."

"Are you wanting to spill your guts about the infatuation, Star?"

"Eeep!" she blushed.

"Hehehehe…," he nearly rolled over. "That's it, isn't it?"

"I…I….," she lingered. A biting of the lip, then a brave smile: "I am merely delving into a warm, happy thought."

"Yeah. Uh huh. Very warm."

"Hrmph….vn'clatta siul chlorbag….."

"Huh?"

"Erm….n-nothing…," she simpered.

"I'm waiting with baited breath."

"On my home planet, the Tamaranian people are far less…..heterogynous in appearance."

"Amber skin goes a long way round, huh?"

"Oh, most assuredly!" she nodded towards the sky. "Not to mention the long, scarlet locks of hair. Green eyes. Eyebrows."

"….."

"Erm….eyebrows that are not quite as strangely low as humans…."

"Hehehehe."

"All Tamaranians are tall. Both the males and the females. We grow our hair long. The men do not hesitate to possess flowing, full beards. It is a sign of an embrace of X'Hal's maternal gift-giving to allow our bodies to grow so showingly. To ever stunt the growth of our hair or to cut our flowing locks is a sign of sadness and mourning. For it signifies a lack of joy in the continuation and power of Life."

"I see……"

"When I came across sweet Nova'm in Carolina of the North, I was shocked and horrified that he would consider butchering his hair so short. I realized that he was too busy being scared and angry and sad because of what that terrible Booker was doing to him. But since we all intervened on his life, he has embrace life. He has been ever-so-joyous. You remember seeing him last time, do you not, Beast Boy? Was not his hair long and exquisitely handsome?"

"You're asking the wrong guy, dudette."

"Huh?"

Beast Boy shrugged. "So he looks like a little David Cassidy who dunked his head in ketchup. So what? Yeah, his hair was long. So I believe you there."

Starfire gave him a shifty-eye before continuing: "Well there are a few Tamaranians who are born quite differently from the rest. Again…I do stress a 'few'."

"Their hair doesn't grow long?"

"Close. They have dark follicles."

"Black hair?"

"Mmmhmmm. It is a rarity. My sister—amazingly enough—is one such example."

"Blackfire?"

"Though….," Starfire winced momentarily. "…the circumstances of her darkened locks are of a slightly different nature."

"Huh?"

The Tamaranian shook her head. "It is not of importance. What I desired to emphasize is that—black hair is a rarity among my people. And—amazingly enough—it is considered uniquely preciousness for that very same rarity."

"So….like….."

"Erm…," Starfire bashfully admitted: "Dark haired males on my planet are…..m-most attractive."

"Really?"

She fanned herself.

Beast Boy took an uncomfortable breath and glared off. "Really…."

"Ahem. Where was I?"

"David Cassidies."

"Indeed! Well, when I came to this wonderful Earth and engaged in missions of saving the innocent under Robin's professional tutelage—"

Beast Boy snickered.

Starfire blinked. "What?"

"Are you gonna tell me that you fell for Robin merely because you had a penchant for dark-haired dudes?"

Starfire simpered: "It is not quite that bleak and simple….."

"I frankly wouldn't care too much, Star!" he smiled. "Wanna know a secret?"

"I guess so…."

"Cyborg used to have this thing for Asian chicks," Beast Boy winked across the picnic blanket. "Back before his accident—the one that made him all robocopicon—he shared a history class with this Chinese-American girl that he couldn't take his eyes off of, or so he's told me during many a Halo session."

"Indeed…."

"Anywho. When I asked him about it, he said he was over all that stuff. He said he thought it was awfully closed-minded of him to feel that way towards any particular race or breed of people without any further regard for their character, culture, family life…yadda yadda…."

"Sounds noble."

"It's boring! So what if we fall for Greeks or Chinese or Swedes or whatnot? I think Cyborg's being a little too hard on himself. I also think—hehe—that he lost a little too much when he became a cyberdude."

"I am afraid I do not gather what you mean."

"Erm….it's okay. Ahem. That was rather mean-ass of me anyways. So…back to you and Robin's luscioussss dark hair."

"Hehehe. Do not exaggerate it in that manner!"

"Well, is it an exaggeration?"

"…….."

"Heheheheh….well?"

"I was……in awe of Robin," Starfire said. She gazed off towards the green horizon of the nearby park land. "He was the first boy I met on this planet. The first person, in fact. And—as time would dictate in passing—he was the only boy I would come into contact with. Everything I first learned about this planet, I learned through him. We were……close. Perhaps with or without meaning to be. I look back and I realize that—initially at least—he only desired to assist me in blending in with this culture. But as was inevitable, we drew close. It was camaraderie at first. But gradually it became trust. And friendship. And….."

A pause.

Beast Boy stared at her. Interested….

She smiled a bit at herself. A silly expression. She boldly went on: "One day—early in the Titans' legacy—we were all collectively battling Cinderblock as he broke into the City Prison to free Plasmus."

"Yeah….," Beast Boy nodded. "I remember that."

"Sometime before the altercation between Robin and Cyborg—it is almost hazy at this point in time—a particular blow dealt by Cinderblock sent Robin's vulnerable body flying. Th-This was sometime soon after Jinx, Gizmo, and Mammoth had briefly taken control of Titan's Tower. I had once presumed Robin to be dead, and my eyes had been opened to just how fragile a fighter he truly was underneath his brazen leadership. So when I saw his body flailing about from Cinderblock's bludgeoning, I felt for the first time an intense need to….t-to save him. So I flew up and I embraced Robin and…."

"Y-Yeah? What then? A Hollywood kiss?"

"N-No! Do not be ridiculousing me!"

"What happened?"

"I…..," Starfire smiled softly and hugged herself as she stared up at the sky again. "I suppose I held him far longer than I originally anticipated. It was not my intention to embarrass our team leader. It was not until later that I learned how ill male Terrans feel about…erm….b-being cradled. Especially by females."

"Yeah. That's a fact. Heh."

"But when I held him….the strangest thing happened."

"…..?"

"My right hand was positioned gently beneath his neck. More along the back of his head, actually. And….A-And….," Starfire lingered for a moment, and then gestured in the air: "Terran boys—with short hair and all—have a strangely unique feature."

"What's that?"

"On the back of the neck there are…tiny hairs. Like soft, downy rows of thin follicles. It is something that you never find on the back of a girl's head or anyone on Tamaran, for that matter. Long hair simply eradicates that phenomenon."

"Hehehehe…you call tiny hairs on the back of a boy's neck a phenomenon?"

"……"

"Ahem. S-Sorry. Do continue, Star."

"I felt those hairs on the back of Robin's head. His black head of short hair. And for some reason during that very instant, all of that puzzled me. And I was in the middle of saving this one boy who had done so much to win my trust and friendship and help me adapt to this strange, beautiful world and…and………at the same time, he was so fragile. And yet so strong. So brave and foolish all at the same time. He did not belong there fighting a monster such as Cinderblock, no matter how many metaphysical beings were assisting him. And yet, who was I to force him to desist? He had been employed in the art of vigilantism all his life that he possessed and would later prove to master far more arts of crime-fighting than the rest of us combined. I did not desire to, but I had to put him down. I had to let him return to combat and lead us against Cinderblock, Plasmus, and eventually Slade. And….And…."

"You fell in love…," Beast Boy murmured.

Starfire nodded. She hugged herself again with a wavering, warm smile. "I knew then and there that I desired more than anything else to get to know Robin more. He was….the epitome of my joy on this planet."

Beast Boy slowly nodded.

A beat.

Starfire sighed through a thin space in her lips and let her gaze fall aside towards the grassy horizon again. "On my home planet, Beast Boy, I am an ordinary girl…."

"What do you mean, Star?"

"I would be comparable to any school student you were to point out on the streets of this City. I am merely a face in a crowd of so many people who look so very much alike. My only extraordinary gift is an almost unnatural desire for space exploration and a loving family that has and shall continue to support me. I have stated before and may further—shyly—admit that my stay on this planet has roots in what your Terran educational system might call a….a…."

"Exchange program?" Beast boy said. "Dude, Star! That's wild!"

"I thought you were in the know…."

"Robin hinted it to me, but…," Beast Boy paused. He giggled. "I just think it's cute."

"In what manner?"

"To hear you call yourself a 'normal, everday schoolgirl' of some faraway, Tamaranian institution. How could possibly just be an average citizen of your home planet? Pfft! I don't buy that! You've got a princess or something, Star…."

"Hrm….," Starfire tried to hide her blush. "You are impossibly jocular at times, Beast Boy."

"I don't care. You're a princess, Star."

"I am flattened, Beast Boy, truly--"

"Flattered."

"What of the ever. But I am humbly as you see before you," Starfire spoke.

"I can see that!"

"Goodness……"

"………….but I still don't buy it!"

"X'Hal! Impossible! Ineraat thrak'm siul jerkynkk ttlo!"

"Hehehehehe. I think that means I REALLY flustered you."

"I am most tempted to resist the tofu mlorgnok of future happenstance!"

"Eeeek! Okay. Shutting up now. SHUTTING UP NOW!"

"Hehehehehe," Starfire giggled. A beat. She sighed. "But I am truly very little on my home planet compared to what I have become here. But if I had a choice…I….I-I think I would have left long before 'Starfire' ever became the cultural icon of this part of the hemisphere."

Beast Boy did a double-take, his jaw parting some. "You're saying that….th-that you would have left the Titans, Starfire?"

"Indefinitely. I do not see that as preposterous anymore."

"Whatever for?"

"Robin…," she breathed. A beat. "I stayed mostly because of Robin." She gazed aside at Beast Boy. "But as time wore on, and I realized that Robin and I—for the time being—were not a legitimate possibility, I found myself finding so much more to stay on this planet for. The fight for justice. The defeat of evil. The spreading of glory. My wonderful, wonderful friends."

"All the reasons you're staying with us now….," Beast Boy murmured. A beat. He gulped: "R-Right?"

She nodded.

He breathed.

"I stayed here for the greater good of such lovely, Terran people," she said. "And this wonderfully nice Earth…this….this new Home of mine…."

Beast Boy smiled. Gently.

"And I would take in stride Robin's feelings. X'Hal knows that I could never force him out from his own shielding. Even though I am convinced of his confessed, mutual respect for me in the end…it only served to confirm my hypothesis that I would never…ever get close enough to him to learn of his identities. His intimate personality. And—even—his pain…."

"I guess it's a hard kind of rejection…," Beast Boy murmured. "To find yourself falling in love with someone who….in a sense…betrays you of what you're willing to learn about him….or h-her…."

"Robin never rejected me, Beast Boy."

"But….the night he died—"

"He merely rejected himself, I am certain of that…," Starfire breathed. "I do not desire to give myself undue credit…but in those last few weeks, days, and hours of Robin's beautiful life….I saw a shadow in him I had never had the strength to admit spying before. He restricted himself, Beast Boy. He had a way of dealing self-punishment. The reasons for why he resisted love and joy….I only wish I knew. I still wish that it will someday be revealed to me yet. But one thing is for certain, by X'Hal's honor…..Robin did not reject me. If there was any rejection…it was of a chance to truly free himself. I do not hate him for that. Similarly, I do not hate myself for living forever in the abysmal mystery of everything in the wake of his death. I truly am grateful for the way things are now. Both the sorrow and the growth. Pain is but another stretch in the path of obtaining true joy. Though I wish Robin were alive today, I also respect the will of X'Hal…and all of this has happened for a reason. If the memories of Robin are all I am blessed with…then I shall count the blessing tenfold."

Beast Boy nodded. A shuddering sigh. "I've had only the memories of Terra to bless me this last year….."

"……..," Starfire reached a hand over and gently pressed his shoulder.

He cupped his hand over the back of hers and smiled towards the sky. "….not to mention friends. Friends are often half of old memories. A very….g-good half."

"Yes….I suppose they are…," Starfire smiled.

T-T-T-T-T-T-

"So, they're making you do twice the thumb-printing for this stuff?"

"What for? Heh…for a City this ravaged, there's been an amazingly small amount of looting. The authorities aren't concerned about loads of stolen stuff. They trust the citizens trying to recover from Hell. And I don't blame them. I've got no reason to press you about any of this stuff. I'm merely going with county law."

"Oh, understood. I'm not complaining or anything. I just—"

"Oh, and sign at the bottom of this sheet too, sir."

"R-Right. Thank you."

"No problem."

"I just wonder…"

"Wonder what, sir?"

"I'm from out of town. I saw all the news programs on Dagger's destruction and stuff. And…uhm…."

"Yeah?"

"You sure you folk want to stay cooped up in this place?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, with Slade and Dagger and all…this place has been a virtual warzone!"

"I'll have you know that Slade is long gone. He died in the last battle with the Titans! That creep is no more."

"T-True. I suppose he's history."

"Dead history."

"Right. But what about Dagger? That man was never caught. He struck so suddenly and stealthily and left—on his own choosing I've heard."

"Perhaps he did. He's a cold-hearted killer. Just like the rest of them…only with more explosions. He's different and—yet—he's exactly the same. And as long as he's the same…then he's nothing that the Titans can't handle. It's tough being in this City for my wife and I. Heck, it's tough being in any City nowadays without some clown-faced psychopath trying to bomb you into insanity or a masked creep threatening to burn your whole family alive. But the way I see it…the closer we live to the Titans, the safer we are. I wouldn't give this place up for Metropolis or Star City any day. And I'm pretty sure my wife Renee feels the same way."

"Oh? I'm sorry, I haven't had a chance to meet your wife."

"She's upstairs. Sleeping. Ya know…erm…."

"……..?"

"She's over six months expecting."

"Oh, wow. Congratulations!"

"Hehehehe….damn straight! I'm gonna be one HELL of a daddy!"

"Ha ha! You sound pretty enthusiastic!"

"In times like this, you have to be enthusiastic. You mustn't let….l-let gray and depressing things overwhelm you. The world has this really crazy way of fixing itself up. Most people don't believe that. But that's because more people are turning up younger and younger. And it's not until you start to grow up that you begin to believe in just how frickin' strong life is against death. It's not until you become mega-adult and responsible. It's not until…..you start to father a new life into this world…that you begin to believe in it. You believe in it…and start being wary all the same."

"I can only imagine…."

"It's amazing being a parent…….heh….listen to me. Ahem. I mean…a future parent."

"Could have fooled me."

"I stick by Renee at all costs. I'll do the same with my child. And in the midst of all that—nameless or not—I've got a purpose. And I want to uphold that purpose. And if that means doing the stupid thing and braving another gray day so that this City can once again smile on me and my wife all Sunny like….then I'll go in balls first. No pun intended."

"Right…..heheheheh."

"Damn. Pretty intellectual conversation over trading in a toaster!"

"Yeah. Damn bread. Hahahaha!"

"Heheheheh. Here you go, sir. Just as I counted."

"Thank you. A pleasure doing business with you, Mister….—"

"Call me Danny."

"I wish you good luck, Danny."

"Same to you, sir. Travel safely."

"Something tells me that I'll do just that."

"Heheh…right. So long."

"So long."

D-Ding!

"……………………………………….."

T-T-T-T-T-T-

Later…

Friday night.

In the hazy interior of a poetry café…

Cyborg drifted in. Cyborg drifted in…and he was clothed. Jeans. White shirt. Jacket. His titanium body was blanketed in civiliany. He drifted in through the door with two hands still cold from the November night outside stuck in his jacket's front pouch. His brow furrowed inquisitively under a dark-green woolen cap over his bald crown. A human and red eye gazed over the round tables and towards the podium flanked by jazz players.

A familiar dark girl stood atop a small stool so that she rose above the podium. She too was dressed to blend. The sweater and jeans. Fingerless, black gloves. Graceful yet practical Raven. She gazed up from the podium momentarily at Cyborg across the way as she shuffled a written poem on paper before her.

"……," Cyborg took a deep breath and hung in the back corner.

The thin audience that night coughed and cleared their throats into silence as the sorceress gradually dripped forth: "The Songbird's Sky."

A beat.

A breath.

Parting lips:

The Songbird's Sky

In the red sky the gold bird flies-

Not caring if he lives or dies

The fate of fellow fowl

Reflects in his eyes

And they're on the rise

He may have met a bloody surprise

A muddied dagger of dark disguise

But feathers and flames

Offer up his prize

It needs only to rise

There's a sacred sun yielding golden skies

An amber ensemble of the songbird's sighs

Like a windborne whistle

Neither far nor nigh

It's on the rise

A beat.

"Ahem…th-thank you…," Raven droned.

Eager clapping. She was becoming a regular there. An accepted regular. Under a shower of snapping fingers and distant cymbal rushing, she wandered down from the podium and shuffled over to a table conspicuously seated right next to Cyborg standing in the corner.

"Hey….," Raven whispered first.

"Hey….," Cyborg returned.

Raven sat down, adjusted her sweater, and stared up at him.

A beat.

"………you're not naked," she said.

Cyborg simpered. "Yeah. It's a new nasty habit of mine."

"I thought you didn't ever get cold," she uttered.

Cyborg shrugged. "I lowered my temperature a bit."

Raven blinked. "You what?"

"Er….yeah."

"But….why?"

"It's probably the only part of me that I can tweak right now…," Cyborg groaned. "Everything else about me is still on the eternal fritz. Even Uncle Simon is at a lost. Friggin' sucks, I swear."

"You have my sympathy…," Raven said. A beat. She added: "I truly mean that."

"Heheheh…it's okay, Raven," Cyborg smiled gently. "I think I actually do know when you are or are not using sarcasm these days."

"Wow. Heaven forbid."

"Yeah. Hehehehe…speaking of forbidden, that was a darn nice poem you shared!"

"Feh."

"Did you write it? You wrote it, didn't you?"

"Maybe I did…."

"Cuz it's……optimistic," Cyborg's human eye blinked. "Kinda sorta."

"Yeah….it is, isn't it?" Raven said.

Silence.

"………..you look nice," Cyborg said.

"Really now…," she droned in monotone.

"It's the sweater. You look good in red, Raven."

"Heh…now that's ironic."

A beat.

Cyborg swallowed. "You're still mad at me about not telling the truth…."

"Well of course I am."

The android Titan winced. "I can't blame you."

"Then don't," Raven sighed and leaned back in her chair while gesturing at the table. "Sit down."

He did so.

"What brought you here, Cyborg?"

"Well….I know you're pissed at me and stuff….but….," he bit his lip.

"………"

"I'm selfish, Rae. I can't stand not being near you."

She slowly nodded. "Yes. That's true."

A beat.

"So….here we are…," Cyborg sighed and sat back. He gazed around the café. "Wow. It's been a while."

"I suppose it has."

"Like…right after Dr. Light turned the City dark," the Titan Leader mumbled. "Remember Munchkinana and stuff?"

"Mortuana……"

Cyborg winced. "Right…."

"It doesn't matter, really…," Raven hugged herself and gazed into nearby candle light. Someone else ascended the podium and read off a deeply rhythmic poem. The audience murmured and snapped their fingers as the jazz lingered on in gentle, hazy ambiance beyond. "The land of dead is just that in name only. It's amazing how triply morose the reaper shows itself to be to me with passing adventure. I swear…Dagger held more death than any single demon in the once-blackened City."

Cyborg rubbed the human part of his head beneath his cap. "Yeah…..that's something I wouldn't argue with. It's always bothered me just how cruel living things can be. Much less all that wyrd crap from beyond the grave."

"…….."

Cyborg gazed gently at Raven. "You did write that poem, didn't you?"

Raven took a deep breath.

"Do you think Robin's given us a…..sunshine of sorts? A figuratively clear sky to re-draw the slate of this City in?"

"I don't know, Cyborg…," Raven practically grunted. "The point of writing poetry is not knowing or doing…but speculating."

"…………………have you ever written a poem about me, Raven?"

"………," she hugged herself tighter. She sniffed: "No."

A beat.

Cyborg slowly, gently shuffled over and wrapped an arm around her.

She leaned helplessly against him with a shudder. "Sometimes….S-Sometimes I hate you so much, Victor…."

"I know, Rae. I know."

"You sh-show me that I failed in something in this world…," she murmured. "You show me that I've given in. Given in to emotions. Given in to intimacy. Given in to being a….human being….."

"Mmmmhmmm…."

She closed a pair of wet eyes and swallowed a lump down her throat. "And I've never felt more safe…..in such chaos…."

He smiled somewhat and gently kneaded her shoulders with his titanium fingers. "I can't honestly say that I want 'chaos' for you, Raven. But…..I've never felt more safe either."

"……."

"I'm sorry that I can be such a meatheaded dunce sometimes…," Cyborg said. "But I'm not sorry that I've risked making you happy or pissed or anything….if it means being this close to you in the end."

Raven took a deep breath.

"Do you know what the sky looked like as I walked across town searching for you, Raven?"

"No. What was it, Cyborg?"

"…..I didn't pay attention. The sky's boring when I've got a sexy little sorceress like you to cuddle with," he winked.

"Hrghh…," Raven pouted. "You're pathetic."

"Hehehehe…boo-ya…."

Raven's lips curved some. She gently breathed through her lips: "Robin would be proud of you, Cyborg. Don't you worry about that."

"Eh…," he shrugged one arm while holding her closer with the other. "…I tend to care about the birds that still walk among me…."

"Yeah. Thank Azar."

"Heheheheheh….."

T-T-T-T-T-T-

Outside.

A pale moon shone down.

It bounced off the buildingtops and the waves of the Bay.

And floated back up towards the Sky.

Half gray….