CHAPTER 29
Embry POV:
I opened the door to my house and walked in. Mom was still up, waiting for me. Hmmm, that's weird. She looked at me as I closed the door and said, "Hey, Embry."
"Hey, Mom. What are you still doing up?"
I went over and plopped into the chair. I was tired, and I had school in the morning. I was ready for some sleep.
"Um, I have something I want to talk to you about, and I'm pretty sure you won't be happy about it," she started. I sat up and said, "What?"
She took a deep breath and said, "Embry, I heard from your father today."
Did she just say . . . my father? "What?" I stuttered, "My . . . father? What the hell are you talking about?"
"He is living in Port Angeles now and . . . he wants to see me. I'm meeting him tomorrow. Look, Embry, I know you think I should hate him for what he did. But if you could hear why he stayed away, what he's been through. I know that you would understand."
It finally registered in my head what she was trying to tell me. Then the anger hit. "So, he's alive, huh? And he has a good reason for knocking you up and dumping you? For walking away from Sam and his mom and never calling to say, 'Hey, don't worry, I'm still alive. I just don't give a shit about you.' I'm sure that's a great story, Mom. You may believe his bullshit, but I don't want to hear it." I got up and went to the front door and slammed it hard on my way out. I took off toward the woods.
The rage was traveling through me at light speed. I knew I couldn't contain it so I gave in, my shorts ripping into shreds as I phased and kept running. He's alive! That bastard is alive and she is running to him! What the fuck is she thinking? I ran as hard as I could trying to use up this anger. I didn't want to feel. I didn't want to think. I just wanted to run. I ran hard for a long time and I had no idea how many miles I had covered. I finally slowed down when I knew someone else was out there.
"Embry, dude, you OK? I thought you went home." Quil. One thing about phasing, you never get to be alone with your thoughts.
"Not now,Quil. Leave me alone. You don't want to talk to me right now, believe me."
"Come on, bro. You're my best friend. I'll come to you."
I had stopped running. I couldn't move anymore. I laid down where I was. I suddenly felt so . . . lost. Quil came running up and sat down beside me. I let go and let him see what all my mom had told me.
"No fucking way! Your dad is alive? And living that close? Man. Does Sam know?"
"I don't think so. I hope not! He just got married and has a kid on the way. He doesn't need this right now. Make sure you hide this, Quil."
"Yea, for sure. I don't want him to kick my ass! No wonder you're so pissed."
"Yea, and Mom says he has a good reason for staying away and that I should hear it. What kind of reason is good enough to leave your wife and kid and let them think you don't give a shit? Huh? What reason is good enough to knock up a girl and leave her on her own? I can't think of one."
"Yea, me either. What are you going to do?"
"I don't know. Mom's going to see him tomorrow. She says she needs to see him. I know she believes him. God, I'm so angry, Quil. But yet . . . there's this part of me, I guess it's that little kid that always wanted to know his dad, that kind of . . . wants to meet him, you know?"
"Yea, I do. I remember you talking to him when you were a kid. At night, before we would go to sleep. Maybe you should meet him, you know? At least you wouldn't have to wonder anymore. You could get some answers. Maybe get in a good punch in the face for good measure."
"Yea, maybe." I got up and decided to go home. "Thanks, Quil. For being here for me. I guess I need to go home and face my mom."
"No problem, bro. I'm always here for you. But right now, I better get back on patrol. Jared's out here, too, you know."
"Hey, Jared. I don't care that you know, but keep it to yourself, OK? And away from Sam!"
"Yea, dude. You got it. Good luck, man!"
I ran toward home then realized when I got to the edge of the woods, I had no shorts! Shit! Just then Quil came running up behind me. I noticed when you ran off, you didn't have any shorts tied to you! You got a problem, huh?"
"Yea, I was pretty pissed and I guess I didn't think about that when I phased. How am I going to get down the street to my house, and walk in if my mom is still waiting up for me?"
"You can have mine. I can phase right at my back door, and no one will be awake in my house."
"Thanks, bro. I owe you!" I phased back to human form, and untied Quil's shorts from his back leg. I patted him on the back and he took off.
I slipped the shorts on and was thankful they were basketball shorts with an elastic waist. I was skinnier than Quil, and I knew if they were jeans, they would have fallen off! I laughed to myself about that as I trotted toward home.
Mom was waiting up for me when I got home. I had a feeling she might be. I walked in and plopped down in the chair.
"Feel better?" she asked.
"Not really, but at least I ran some of the anger out," I told her.
"Embry I know you have a right to be angry. Go ahead! Get it out! But I hope that once you calm down, you can at least think about hearing why he stayed away. He never even knew he had a son! He just found today that you existed! Can you imagine how that must feel for him? I hope you will decide to meet him, Embry. Maybe not right now, but someday. But I want you to understand that I need to see him. I'm going to meet him tomorrow afternoon at a diner that's halfway between here and Port Angeles. I've heard his story, but I want to look into his eyes as he talks and understand what he really went through, you know? I have to do this."
I hung my head and closed my eyes. Mom took my hand and said, "Embry, I know this is hard. All those years of you wondering who your father was . . . begging me to tell you. Now he's here! You can meet him. Talk to him. Ask him all of those questions."
I leaned forward and put my head in my hands. "God, Mom. This is so hard. This is just so fucking hard!"
Mom got off of the couch and kneeled down on the floor in front of me. She pulled me into her arms and held me while I cried. I couldn't hold it back any longer. Years and years of wanting to know who my father was, wanting to see him and talk to him. All that loneliness, and anger and resentment. It all came pouring out.
"Oh Embry. It's alright. I love you, honey. I love you so much," she crooned to me as I cried. She rubbed my back like she used to do when I was little and I would cry. I finally sat up and wiped my face. She looked at me and I said, "I'm sorry, Mom."
Her face was red from crying, too. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Embry. You're right. This is hard. But I want you to know that I brought you into this world because I loved you from the day I found out I was pregnant with you. When Josh left, I thought my life was over. Then, I found out that he left a piece of himself behind, in you. I know that it hasn't been the easiest life for you. I'm sorry for that. But I wouldn't change a thing. I love you, Embry, and I am thankful everyday that I have you." New tears rolled down her cheeks.
I smiled and said, "Geez, Mom, now you'll start me crying all over again." She laughed and hugged me. "Thanks, Mom, for having me, for taking care of me, for putting up with me." She let go and smiled. "I wouldn't have you any other way. Even if you are a big pain in the butt!" I laughed.
She got up and sat back on the couch. "Look, honey. I'm going to see Josh tomorrow, OK? And when I come home, we'll sit and talk and I'll let you know what I think. And if you feel that you want to meet him, we'll arrange it. If you aren't ready, that's fine. He'll wait. OK?"
I nodded and she her hand on my arm. "Embry, this has to be your decision. Think about it, and I'll support you either way." She stood up and said, "It's been a rough night. I'm going to bed. Are you OK?"
I stood up and said, "Yea, I'm OK. Good night."
She smiled at me and said, "Good night." She turned and made her way down the hall to her room. I made sure the front door was locked and turned off the lights then walked down the tiny hall to my room.
I walked in and closed the door. I wasn't sure if I could really sleep even though I was so tired. I sat down on the bed leaned forward and put my head in my hands. My father. He's alive. He wants to meet me. I kept trying to hold onto the anger that I had for the guy. He fucked my mom and dumped her! How could he do something like that, and yet, she's all excited about seeing him? What the hell is wrong with her? I just didn't get it. And what he did to Sam and his mom. Oh God, Sam! I put my head up and thought about angry Sam would be when he heard that this guy was alive and living so close. He might even want to kill him! I closed my eyes and shook my head. All of a sudden, my life just got a lot more complicated.
I laid back and heard something crunch. I sat up and noticed something on my pillow. It was a note. I reached up behind me and turned on the little lamp that I had hanging on the wall by the bed. I picked it up and read it:
Embry,
Please remember how much I love you.
Leah
Did she know? Did Mom tell her before she told me? I reached back and turned the light off then laid back onto my bed and held the note to my chest. I closed my eyes and thought about Leah. Her smile, her laugh. The way she kissed me and how it felt to hold her in my arms. Thinking about Leah always made me feel better. I finally gave into the exhaustion and let sleep take me.
In the morning, Mom did something she never did: she called in sick to work! I'm sure her boss was shocked! Even when she was sick, she went to work. Then she called the school and told them I was sick and couldn't come in today. She smiled as she hung up the phone. "Wow, I feel like such a rebel!" I laughed. "So, who wants pancakes?" she asked with a smile.
I was actually glad that Mom called the school for me. I really didn't think I could concentrate at school with everything that was swimming around inside my head. I had already showered and dressed and I was sitting at the kitchen table watching Mom go crazy in the kitchen.
She outdid herself. She made pancakes and sausage, and scrambled eggs. We sat down to our feast and talked about all kinds of things. Everything but . . . him. She asked me to tell her about working on cars, so I did. "I really love it, Mom. To take something that doesn't work and figure out how to fix it . . . it's really cool. And I like working with Jake, you know. We have all these plans for our own shop. We have this list that we keep. And when we think of something we have to have in our shop, we say, 'Add it to the list!' and one of us pulls out the list and writes it down. It's getting kind of long. I don't know how we'll really get everything on that list!"
She smiled and took a sip of coffee. "It's really good to see you so excited about something. I'm glad, Embry. It sounds like you and Jake have a good plan."
"Yea, I just hope we really get a chance to do everything we have planned."
"You will. You two are determined, I can tell." She scooted her chair back and said, "I need to get this kitchen cleaned up and get into the shower." She picked up some dishes and put them in the sink.
"I'll help you," I said. We worked together and got everything cleaned up in no time. Mom thanked me and gave me a hug.
"What time are you leaving?" I asked her. She looked at me and said, "Eleven."
I nodded and then asked her, "Did you tell Leah last night about . . . all of this?"
She looked at me suspiciously and said, "Why?"
"Well, I found this note on my pillow from her. All it said was 'Please remember how much I love you.' I just thought maybe, she knew about this and she was trying to, I don't know, comfort me or something. It was just weird."
Just then my phone rang. As I reached into my pocket to answer it, mom left to get into the shower. "Hello?"
"Hey, dude." It was Jake. "You OK?"
"Uh yea, I guess. What's up?"
"You didn't go to school. You sick or something?" he asked me.
"Not really. And how did you know I didn't go to school? You checking up on me now?"
He laughed and said, "Yea, I'm keeping tabs on you. No, Quil called and asked me for a ride. You forgot to call him, dumb ass! He knew he didn't have time to run there, so he called and got my ass out of bed!"
I smacked my forehead. "Shit, I did forget. Sorry, dude. I'll call him after school."
"So, if you're not sick, why did you stay home? You, um, upset about something?"
What should I tell him? He's my best friend, I tell him everything. Did Quil say something to him? "Well, uh, it's kind of a long story. Can I come over now and tell you? You busy?"
"Um, no. Come on over, I guess" he said hesitantly. "See ya." He hung up. I put my phone back into my pocket and thought Jake sounded kind of weird. Why did I have that feeling about everyone all of a sudden?
I jotted a note to Mom telling her I was heading over to Jake's. I added a PS: "I hope everything goes OK today." I got up and headed outside. I really did hope everything went OK for her. She deserved some happiness. I just didn't trust that she would find it in him.