Okay, I'm so worried about your reactions to this chapter. The last section is written in Cas's mind so... I didn't want to do it because I am so worried that it didn't come out right. Right now I'm okay with it, it's innocent and sweet and I'm hoping it comes across properly.

Just a note, Cas thinks about Disney movies in this. I just want to make it clear that I didn't pick Disney movies to be Cas's favourite because he's somehow childish or mentally inferior, I picked them because Disney movies are simple: good vs bad and good always wins, the prince always picks the right person to fall in love with, and everyone lives happily ever after. For Cas these movies aren't confusing like the rest of the world so he likes them. It's very similar to his view of the world: some people are good, some people are bad and good should triumph even though in the real world it doesn't always do so.

Okay, so let me know what you thought of Cas's section. I wanted it to be distinctive because of the way his mind works but I also wanted it to be understandable and not confusing to go with the rest of the prose. So concrit is very welcome.

Thank you all so much for your gorgeous comments, you're wonderful!

And there will be another chapter full of rainbows and happiness after the finale tomorrow because, seriously, we're all gonna need it.

Enjoy!

Lucifer waited until he heard the piano start up in the den so that he knew Castiel couldn't hear them before he and Michael turned to Gabriel with identical looks of seriousness. Gabriel always marvelled over how fraternal twins who were so very different in personality could pull exactly the same expressions.

"Dean and college," Michael clarified. "Speak."

"I keep telling you, Mikey, I'm not a dog," Gabriel teased. "You could try speaking in full sentences. I know it's hard when you get all serious but it would be very helpful."

Michael pinched the bridge of his nose before smiling slightly. His mood was still quite high from the previous night.

"Please, explain to us why Dean isn't going to go to college," Michael requested.

"First, why are you interested?" Gabriel quirked an eyebrow suspiciously. If Michael was going to be all degree-snobbish and insist that Castiel only be acquainted with someone qualified to do something he was going to be severely disappointed in his brother for the first time in his life.

"We're concerned," Lucifer jumped in. "Dean seems like a bright kid. With everything he's doing for Cassie he's important to us and we don't want to think of him wasting his life away in the same small town for the rest of his life for some ridiculous reason."

"Such as?"

"Him believing he's not good enough – which is the vibe he gave us last night," Michael explained.

"I think that's basically it. Deano's father is always praising Sam's brain and talking about how he'll make something of himself at college and so on," Gabriel explained. "Sam told me all this, not Dean. But apparently John pretty much treats Dean as if he's going to spend his entire life here in Lawrence working at their Uncle Bobby's scrap yard and garage. Dean loves working with cars but... it's not fair for John to act as if he's not worth something more than never leaving here."

"I thought that might be the case." Michael leant back in his chair, frowning thoughtfully.

"What exactly are you going to do?" Gabriel wondered.

"You leave that to us. Go do your homework," Lucifer responded. Gabriel grumbled but did as he was told.

"Lucifer," Michael said frowning deeper.

"What?" Lucifer turned to his brother, raising his eyebrows at his current expression.

"When did we become a married couple?"

Lucifer met Michael's eyes before slumping in his seat as he laughed so hard he had trouble breathing and Michael rolled his eyes before rubbing his back.

Dean folded the sheet of paper with his directions on it before slipping it in his pocket. He grabbed his wallet and keys, creeping downstairs and praying Sam was in his room so he wouldn't have to make up a lie about what he was doing today. He was just... incredibly embarrassed about what Sam would say or do if Dean told him where he was going. Worst of all he might want to come too and this was something Dean wanted to do alone.

Unfortunately Sam was watching TV as he did his homework so Dean sighed and tried to walk past casually, hoping he was too consumed with what he was doing to notice.

But, of course, he could never catch a break.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked, looking over the back of the couch.

"Out," Dean replied simply, avoiding his eyes.

"With who?" Sam wondered curiously.

"Uh... Lisa," Dean said quickly, the first girl that popped into his head being his answer. He then inwardly swore. Now Sam was likely to pester him when he got back and ask too many questions that he wouldn't have answers to.

"Really? I thought you weren't interested."

Dean put on his best cocky smirk. "Dude, she's female and has two legs and proper breasts. Of course I'm interested."

"Gross, Dean, stop being so misogynistic."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

Dean opened the door to hear Sam shout "use a condom!"

He shook his head with a vague smile before getting in his car and making the one and a half hour drive to Kansas State University. He stopped a passing sorority girl to ask for directions to the library which she gave him along with her phone number. Dean was mildly concerned that he had zero interest in her – she was gorgeous, long legs and red hair – but his focus was solely on his day's task.

He walked into the large building and immediately balked at the sheer amount of books in front of him. How the hell was he supposed to find anything in here?

"Hi, you look a little lost," an amused voice said. Dean looked around at a pretty, blonde woman who looked somewhat familiar though he couldn't place her in his mind.

"Yeah... I uh..." He gestured weakly at the shelves.

"Well, what are you looking for?" the woman asked kindly. "I've been here for six years, I'm sure I can help."

Dean felt relieved. "Autism."

The woman raised her eyebrows. "It's your lucky day, kid. I'm a psych grad student. Autism is going to be my specialty once I've got my doctorate."

Dean laughed. "I guess it is."

"Come with me. I'm Rachel by the way."

"Dean."

Rachel smiled and led Dean around the library. They went to two sections, one marked B and one marked RC. They went to RC first where Rachel only grabbed two booked before taking him to the B section.

"We use the Library of Congress cataloguing system as it allows for more specificity for subjects. B is psychology and RC is in medicine and health, specifically conditions such as autism. The better stuff is here in psychology. This shelf is for antisocial disorders."

She stopped and ran her fingers over a couple of rows of books and looked at Dean who still felt a little overwhelmed.

"I can still help if you want," she offered with a little giggle.

"Could you? My brother's the nerdy one but there was no way I was going to bring him," Dean replied softly.

Rachel tilted her head. "Why's that? If he could have helped..."

"He'd know right away why I was doing this and then he'd want to talk." Dean scowled. "So... I want to know about what causes it and how to communicate with someone who's got it."

"Okay... well, it's mainly a mystery of what precisely causes it," Rachel explained as she scanned the spines. "Neuropsychologists are looking at certain aspects in the structure of the brains of autistic people."

"Wow, you are a psych student," Dean chuckled. Rachel smiled and handed him a book. Dean flicked through pages as she continued.

"And as for communicating... it depends what form of autism someone has and how severe. Sometimes there's very little you can do to communicate with them. Do you know what kind this person has?"

Dean blushed a little. "Who says I know someone? Maybe I'm just interested."

"Whatever." Rachel shook her head as she chose a few more books. "I'm studying it because my cousin is severely autistic. It's hard for his family. So hard."

Dean thought of the Novaks and nodded sympathetically. "I've seen that."

Rachel shot him a small smile. "So... will that be okay for now? There are study desks over there. I'm there now so if you come over and have more questions I'd be happy to answer them."

Dean nodded and thanked her as she led him over. He sat at the desk opposite her and opened the first book to start reading. He became frustrated almost instantly when it became clear the book was filled with words only psychologists would understand. He closed it and tried the next one which was a lot easier to understand but was focusing on mainly Aspergers and, after reading the symptoms and a brief discussion of behaviour, he was pretty sure Cas didn't have that.

He groaned and picked up the third one.

Rachel was looking at him now.

"Problem?" she asked. Dean looked over at her and then paused as he went to speak. He leant over and tugged a printed sheet of paper from her book the read the name on top.

"Rachel Novak?" he wondered, looking up at her in amazement. "Your autistic cousin is Cas."

Rachel blinked in surprise. "You know Castiel?"

"I'm from Lawrence. Gabe, Anna and Cas go to my school." Dean smiled. "I understand why you're studying it. They've had some bad luck."

Rachel shook her head in amazement. "Cas... I've never heard him called that. We all call him Cassie – except Michael. Me, Balthazar and Samandriel have always been close with our cousins."

"More angel names," Dean rolled his eyes playfully. "Hey if you have the same name does that mean your fathers...?"

"Yeah. Our dad was furious with his brother for walking out on his family. They don't talk anymore but Dad makes sure to check in with Michael and Luci all the time. He offered to take Cassie so they could go to college but Michael is stubborn – he said he took on the responsibility of being his guardian and he wasn't going to hand him off to someone else. Dad's pretty proud of him but also worried."

Dean smiled, glad they had some family who they could rely on in tough times.

"So... even though you don't like to talk, is all this because of Cassie?" Rachel wondered and Dean hesitated before nodding.

"It's just... I want to help them out. I mean, I think he likes me – he touched me so he must – but I just wanted to-"

"He touched you?!" Rachel cried. They were shushed by a stressed looking law student. She grimaced apologetically in his direction before looking back at Dean. "He's never touched anyone voluntarily. What... how..."

"I think he was offended by my lack of musical talent." Dean chuckled but Rachel just looked more confused so he quickly relayed the story. Her eyes widened in wonder as he spoke and then she was smiling happily.

"Dean, you are a treasure," she sighed and Dean shifted uncomfortably. "Part of it is inexplicable – you're right he must like you and trust you – but then there's the fact that you caught him in his safe place. I mean, we've tried communicating when he's playing and it hasn't worked so you're just special but-"

"Wait, safe place?"

"Yeah. It's..." Rachel thought for a moment. "When the world becomes too much and they feel overwhelmed, autistic people have this place they go to feel safe and comfortable. For some it's math and for others it's art. For some it's as simple as twiddling their thumbs. Or the most common is sitting and rocking in the foetal position – that's one of the things that can tip a parent off that their toddler has autism. For Cassie, it's always been music. It helps him."

"He's very good," Dean mused. Hmm... perhaps he could use that. It had worked once after all. "He's also very attached to my old leather jacket. Michael said he wears it when he's upset."

Rachel's eyes widened again. He had to stop shocking these family members or they were all going to be stuck with wide open eyes for the rest of their lives.

"He seems... really attached to you. What did you do, Dean?"

Dean shrugged helplessly. "I don't know but Michael was nearly crying the other night. If I can make their lives easier then I will. That's why I wanted to research."

Rachel nodded and shut off her own work before opening an internet browser and dragging the books over to help Dean, determined now that she knew he might be the only thing that could help her cousin.

By the time Dean got home that night his brain was swimming with more information than he knew it could hold and a slight new confidence, that the next time Cas had one of his panic attacks Dean would know what to do to help him. Thanks to Rachel, Dean now knew everything she did about autism and he was sure he could do this. He could handle being around Cas and helping his siblings look after him.

He went downstairs to order pizza for he and Sammy, and started telling Sam everything he'd learnt, completely forgetting the lie he'd told until he realised Sam was smirking at him.

"I knew you weren't interested in Lisa," he teased. "You're not interested in any of the girls at school."

"Done them all," Dean shrugged, avoiding Sam's eyes.

"You know... it's okay to be interested in... other things," Sam began. Dean's head snapped up, staring at him.

"What the hell are you suggesting?" he asked darkly.

"Dean, come on, it's okay. It's not... wrong, or anything." Sam wrung his hands, suddenly look very young and Dean deflated immediately.

"I'm not interested in anybody, Sammy. Now, do you want veggie or pepperoni?"

Sam frowned but answered Dean's question and didn't bring up his older brother's dating life again. But Dean trod carefully around him for the rest of the weekend regardless.

Monday morning.

First day of school for the week.

English homework due.

Math problem due.

Pack books into bag.

Get dressed in Monday, option three outfit.

Michael will come to get him for breakfast in five minutes.

Make sure bed is neatly made.

Make sure Dean's jacket is folded up.

Castiel paused in his final action when he heard Michael entering the room. He stroked his fingers reverently over the leather, refusing the urge to wrap himself up in it. If he did that too often, it would stop smelling like Dean. It wouldn't be as comforting anymore.

Michael was saying his name.

It's time for breakfast.

Michael's talking again.

"...so I'm not taking you three to school today. Dean offered to give you a lift though. You don't mind, right? Dean driving you to school?"

Castiel tilted his head, looking at Michael curiously. Michael normally didn't like strangers taking him anywhere.

But Dean wasn't a stranger. He had eaten dinner with them and Michael liked him.

That made Castiel happy. He had been afraid Michael wouldn't let him have a friend. Michael seemed to think bad people were everywhere. Castiel saw bad people all the time but he also saw good people. He thought Michael mustn't look hard enough if he couldn't see them.

Dean was good. Very good, actually. The kindest person Castiel knew, besides Anna of course.

Sam was also good. And so were their friends Jo and Ash, though Castiel hadn't been sure at first when he'd see Jo hit Dean on the arm. But he'd then realised it was only playing when Dean smiled. It was like the wolf cubs he watched on television. He'd been so horrified when they'd pounced on each other and bitten but then Lucifer had explained to him that it was how they showed affection.

Castiel had been confused at first, Gabriel and Lucifer showed him affection by telling him they loved him and giving him presents. Teaching him to play the piano until he'd gotten better than them and then they'd sit and listen, complimenting it. But then Lucifer had told him that wolves were different to people, they couldn't show affection like that so they did it in different ways. Like their family. Other families hugged and kissed. But they didn't but that was okay, because they were just different, not wrong.

Castiel nodded to Michael, trying a smile to see how he responded. He liked it when Michael got that look on his face. It was real. Not like most of the time when he was pretending and didn't have anything written on his face. But when Castiel smiled at him, he looked real, like the Michael Castiel remembered from when he was really young.

"Good," Michael smiled. "Come on. I'm pretty sure Lucifer made pancakes and you know Gabriel will eat them all if we don't get our share."

Castiel nodded and followed Michael into the kitchen, taking his usual seat and remembering how Dean had sat opposite him at dinner on Friday night. He wanted Dean to sit there every time they ate together. He liked having Dean in their house. When Dean was around everything in Castiel's head was quiet, everything stopped spinning and nothing was confusing anymore.

Nothing was scary.

Pancakes. Butter. Jam.

Cut into pieces.

Orange juice.

He could hear Michael talking about something with Lucifer. He recognised that same word that had distressed Dean at dinner on Friday so he turned to look at his oldest brothers, frowning at them.

"It's okay, Cassie," Gabriel said and Castiel turned to face him instead. "Mikey and Luci are just talking, it's nothing serious."

Castiel frowned. He sort of knew that but that word 'college'. He knew Raphael, their brother who wasn't their brother, was at college. But it seemed that talking about that made Dean unhappy. He didn't want his brothers to bring it up around him again or Dean would stop smiling and look sad.

Castiel finished his breakfast and Lucifer took his plate away when he heard the rumbling of an engine. He recognised that sound as the big, black car that Dean drove that didn't look anything like the other cars in the parking lot. It was like Dean – so different from everybody else in the best way.

Castiel jumped up and went to the front window to look out as Dean and his brother got out of the car. Dean shoved Sam playfully as they walked up the garden path. Sam was laughing about something and Dean looked... embarrassed... that seemed like an embarrassed expression.

They rang the doorbell and Castiel scurried behind Anna as she answered the door, peering out from behind her and smiling at Dean when he stepped inside.

"Hi Cas," Sam greeted but Castiel barely glanced at him, his focus entirely on Dean who was grinning at him in a strange way. Castiel frowned, reaching out his hand. He felt the usual wave of panic when Dean's smile widened and he reached his hand out to meet Castiel's but just like the first time it went away as soon as he felt Dean's warm skin on his.

All his life he'd thought touches were all bad. But touching Dean was so different.

Castiel had been curious. In his movies the princess and the prince always touched each other. Neither of them seemed to think it was bad so Castiel had wanted to try. And just like everything else about Dean, his touch made everything better. It made Castiel feel all warm inside, like the beautiful music that played at the end of his favourite movies when the prince and princess kissed.

"Oh good," Dean sighed with relief as Castiel's index finger hooked over his pinky. Castiel looked up at his face and tilted his head. "I was worried you'd have gone back to how you were before."

Castiel frowned in confusion. Why would he do that? Dean hadn't hurt him so he knew touching him was okay. Good, even.

"Are you guys ready to go?" Dean asked, taking his eyes off Castiel and giving his fingers a gentle squeeze.

Michael and Lucifer bid them goodbye and Dean took Castiel's bag, refusing to let him carry it so that he wouldn't disconnect their fingers.

"Cas gets to sit in the front seat," Dean announced just as Sam and Gabriel started bickering over which of them would get to sit there. Castiel wondered if there was something special about sitting in the front seat of Dean's car when Sam and Gabriel both looked disappointed.

Dean opened the passenger door for Castiel who got in and looked around in awe. This was unlike any car he'd been. Castiel smiled as he stroked the leather upholstery. This car smelled like Dean's leather jacket. Castiel could stay in here forever and be happy.

Dean noticed Castiel's expression when he started the car and he grinned.

"She's beautiful, ain't she?" he said and Castiel nodded absently. Dean could hear Gabriel and Sam squabbling so he leant over and Castiel glanced at him in surprise. "Don't tell your brothers but I promise I'll teach you to drive her one day."

Castiel felt a smile break over his face without his consent. Michael didn't want to teach him to drive because he was worried. He nodded eagerly and Dean smiled, pulling into the street. Castiel looked down at Dean's bag by his feet right beside his. It was open but Castiel couldn't see inside. Curiosity eventually overcame his desire to respect Dean's privacy and he toed it further open, glancing at Dean sideways, hoping he wouldn't notice.

He could see books – including Harry Potter, Castiel hoped they could read more if it today, it was getting exciting, Harry had found out Sirius Black betrayed his parents and he wanted revenge, Castiel had a feeling there was more to the story, there always is – paper, pens. The usual school stuff. He also spotted a black beanie. It wasn't too cold yet but Castiel reached in and pulled it out anyway, tugging it onto his head.

Dean noticed the movement and glanced over before bursting out laughing. Castiel jumped, not expecting the noise and he went to remove it beanie, worried Dean would be mad but he held a hand out, hovering by Castiel's but not touching.

Castiel glanced at him before taking Dean's hand.

He could feel the others in the back staring.

"Keep it on, you look... cute," Dean chuckled. "Your hair is sticking out underneath."

Castiel looked in the side mirror out his window and smiled. His hair was going everywhere. But... cute? What did Dean mean? Castiel knew you called baby animals cute... but why would Dean call him cute?

His confusion must have shown because Dean squeezed his hand around Castiel's.

"It's a compliment," he assured him.

Gabriel snapped a picture on his phone and Castiel cast him an unhappy look.

"He's right, Cassie, you look adorable," Anna cooed. "Send me a copy Gabe."

Sam was looking at where Dean was still holding Castiel's hand on the seat between them. Castiel looked down too, examining the way Dean's larger hand looked surrounding his. He rubbed a thumb over Castiel's knuckles and he felt his cheeks warm slightly. He liked holding Dean's hand. They should do this more often.

Sadly though, Dean let him go when they got to school and Castiel shrank between Dean and Gabriel. It was different now. When he was just with his family and Dean and Sam, it was easier to feel brave and touch Dean. Now it was just as scary.

He knew those bigger boys were somewhere in the school and they always looked at him in a way he didn't like. Dean didn't leave him alone to be cornered by them so he was usually safe but he knew that if they found him without Dean or Gabriel around... it wouldn't be good. It would be worse than last time.

And Castiel was scared.