Don't own any of this stuff, HP, whatevs. It all belongs to HP Lovecraft, I mean, uh, J.K. Rowling. Yeah, that one.

AN: Drama! Please, give me cookies, people. I live for them, especially after being away for so long.

And then things fell apart.

Harry'd been expecting it to happen, and Hermione had definitely been expecting it to happen- mostly because she knew for sure things would fall apart. But it didn't happen quite in the way either of them thought it would. In fact, it was a slow, messy descent the next month of school, between the tense silences and tenser conversations.

Poor Madame Pomfrey. She'd meant well with her admonitions about Hermione's stress levels, but there was really no helping it. In fact, aside from missing more school than she'd ever missed in her life due to bed rest, Hermione wasn't any better off emotionally than she'd been the minute she'd found out she was pregnant.

Harry put the icing on the proverbial cake one afternoon, a couple weeks after Ron had recovered. Hermione had been carefully balancing her time and Harry had treated her like fine china, after multiple beatings by Ginny. Hermione had been right when she'd told Draco he would apologize; he had the same day and though things weren't the same, she knew he essentially meant well. Or at the very least, she attempted to understand.

It wasn't as if Harry was under less emotional stress than she was, after all. Sure, he wasn't carrying a baby, but he was the bleeding chosen one, after all. He'd have a life or death match with Voldemort likely before he came of age and Hermione knew how much of a toll that must take on him.

Still, she hadn't expected him to let off steam in the way he chose. She'd figured quidditch would get uglier, or that he'd blow up some crap in the Room of Requirement. Instead…

Instead, Harry found Draco one afternoon after a particularly bad study session in which Hermione was constantly at his throat when she wasn't in a stony silence from ignoring Ron's attempts at guilting her into paying attention to her. Mainly because he'd been at her throat, as Ginny pointed out. But that didn't make him feel any better. Only made him feel worse, in fact. So when he saw Draco rushing away after he'd bumped into Katie Bell…well. His temper got the better of him, again, and before he'd even processed the stimulae, he was rushing after the other boy, following him into the restroom, confronting him, then shouting, and then one of them- himself, Draco, whomever- took aim and fired.

And now, well. Now, Harry was trudging ever so slowly up the stairs to the tower, to contemplate his misery at having nearly killed someone, at having so nearly become the thing that he hated and feared, at having so nearly destroyed the hopes of one of his very best and dearest friends.

Hermione was like a sister to him- a sister, in a world where he had so little family left- and he'd mistreated and taken advantage of and abused her vilely, terribly these last several months. And all because…and all because a boy he detested had decided he loved her.

Because that was the one thing he couldn't deny any longer, no matter what Draco was, truly, or what other evil plans he had in mind, or was being forced to enact: he loved Hermione, in the way Harry didn't. In the way Harry loved Ginny. And he'd seen it, plainly, on the other boy's face as they'd dueled, and Draco had shouted things at him, awful pleas to stop, to think of Hermione, to think of anyone but his own shameful, helpless rage at being so powerless…

He wondered if Hermione could forgive him this. Wondered if he deserved her forgiveness anymore. With a lengthy sigh, he paused before the painting and glanced up at it as she hummed some tune to herself.

"Why, what's wrong, dearie?" she asked him and he shrugged.

"I'm an idiot."

She opened her mouth as if to reply and Harry went on.

"No, I'm worse than an idiot, actually. I'm a terrible friend, and a pretty awful human being, and while I'm at it, let's add fucking horrible chosen one. I reckon I couldn't do the bloody right thing if it was right in front of me, damn it!"

And he drove his fist into the wall beside the portrait to punctuate his statement.

Upon hearing his howl of pain, the portrait swung open and Ginny poked her head out.

"Oy, Ron, is that- Harry! What are you- Merlin, Harry, what did you do?" She dashed out of the entrance and bent over Harry's hand to inspect it, forcing him to stop waving it about. The portrait swung closed and the Fat Lady looked down at the pair smugly.

"He's punishing himself for being a terrible friend, and human being and, oh, um, chosen one," she finished waving a hand. "Anyway, either convince him to go inside or go to the medical wing, but will you two just stop blocking the entrance, please?"

Harry managed to clear his head from the pain enough to look about. "But- there's no one here," he said.

"Well, not now. But there may be. Very soon, especially, considering how loudly you screamed when you banged your fist into the wall."

"Oh, Harry!" Ginny exclaimed, looking up. "You didn't!"

" I did!" he suddenly shouted at her, turning on her with all the viciousness he felt towards himself. "I did and I ought to do it again, and again, until I can't pick up a bloody wand any longer because I- I nearly killed someone today, Ginny. I nearly-"

Ginny stood back from him quite calmly and took his lashing, for all that her face was crumpled rather pitifully. Then she straightened up and took his injured hand between hers again, once he was crying and not shouting any longer.

"You? Kill someone? Harry."

"I did, Ginny, I-"

She felt a tightening in her chest. Hadn't there been enough damage done?

"Harry, no." When he didn't say anything further, just stopped his pathetic tears and looked up to her again, his face quite serious, she shivered.

"When?"

"Just now," he replied quietly. "Just-"

"Where?"

"Loo. Followed him. Snape is with him-"

"Oh, Harry," Ginny whispered, mostly because with those words she didn't even need to- didn't dare- ask who the victim was.

"Ginny," he whispered in return, and his eyes were so empty it frightened her terribly. She stroked one hand over the injured fist gently and then pressed it up against his chest, urging him to cradle it against himself.

"Go to the hospital wing. Get something for that. I have to go tell Hermione."

Harry shook his head.

"Harry, she has to know. Did you think she wouldn't find out?"

"That's not-" He stopped short, closed his eyes, and when he opened them again they were a little less empty, for all the resolve she saw there. "I have to tell her."

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Ginny replied.

"My fault, my chance to own it. Let me, please."

Ginny swallowed hard and prayed a professor would reach her room before they did.

"Ok. Let's go, then."

She started to move past him, down the staircase, and he called after her. Ginny paused and turned to glance up at him.

"I'm sorry, Ginny."

"Why are you apologizing to me?"

"Because. You deserve a better boyfriend. One that isn't angry all the time, that doesn't argue, or get in fights, or-"

"Harry," Ginny said gently, "you're the boyfriend I want. Sometimes…well, sometimes you scare me, but never in how you are to me. You never have to worry about that. But if you need forgiveness, or absolution right now, for what's just happened? I can't give it to you. It's not mine to give. But I'm not going to let you go through this by yourself, either. Ok?"

"Ok," he replied softly. Then, after a moment of indecision, Ginny reached back towards him, one hand outstretched. After an equal hesitation on his part, Harry reached out and took it in his good hand. Then the two of them made their way back down the staircases and across the school, to Hermione's room.

Hermione's eyes got very big for a second, then began to blink furiously as she fought off the tears filling them. Her chest felt very tight and her heart, she was certain, had stopped beating, and none of this could be good for the baby. The baby she'd been as no nonsense as possible about in the last month, the baby she loved anyway, the baby Draco loved-

With a ragged gasp she heard air filling her lungs again and she felt behind her for a chair and sat down slowly, easing into the seat.

Not good for the baby, definitely not. Or for her. Or for its father. Well, step-father. Like it bloody well mattered anymore.

She may have let out a little scream or two. Little, painful noises that were barely more than wind rushing across her cords, but they felt full blown in the silence that was her mind at that moment. Uncomprehending, denying silence.

And then the world crashed back into focus through her tears and the noise rushed back into place in her head and she gripped the arms of the chair she was seated in as if her life depended on it.

"Get out," she said.

"Hermione," Harry breathed.

She turned her head away from him, stared instead into the fire that suddenly roared into place in her grate, and acted for all the world as if he wasn't standing right across from her.

Ginny watched all this and wondered if it was possible for her heart to break for two people. You two need each other, she wanted to scream at them both, but it was really too late for that. Harry finally realized it, only he'd already made the one mistake Ginny wasn't sure Hermione could forgive just then. And he knew it, and he'd wanted to come anyway and tell her himself. Ginny wasn't sure if it was bravery, or love, or stupidity that had made him do it.

"So is this it?" he tried again. "Are you-"

Hermione whipped her head back around and pinned him with a deadly stare. One that dared him to go on. He shut his mouth.

"Don't patronize me, Harry, you're no good at it," she spat. "Now get out. I'll probably forgive you someday, because I love you, but for god's fucking sake if you don't learn to control your temper and think before you act, I will not be held responsible for any of it."

He opened his mouth again and she went on.

"I don't want to hear it. You've apologized, you've given me the bad news, now get out. I told you, again and again and again, but could you ever just trust me? Just once? Damn it, Harry! I-"

She drew a deep breath and stopped short, glared at the fireplace again as her eyes welled with more tears.

A second later she heard a resigned sigh, footsteps, and the click of her door opening and closing. Only then did she give in to her tears and lean over the table, sobbing to her heart's content. How had they come to this? At such odds, and all to protect this little life…if only she could have just told him, then maybe…but no. What had happened today only proved they were right to keep it from Harry. He'd never have understood, never gone along with it. He was too emotional himself, too wired up in everything to accept what simply needed to be done. It broke her heart.

She continued to cry and finally felt a presence behind her, felt Ginny's hands caress her back and brush her hair from her face. She pulled away from the other girl reluctantly.

"You should probably go to Harry," she said softly, wiping her face and sniffling.

"You need someone here," Ginny replied.

"No," Hermione said. "I'm going to head to the hospital wing in a minute, myself. To see Draco. They've probably called Narcissa already, too. I should be there. He'll want me there."

"Are you sure?"

"Ginny, Harry needs you. This…I'll forgive him. I always do. But that doesn't mean I have to want to see him right now. But he needs to see someone, to know that he's still alright. When he gets like this…"

"I know what you mean," Ginny said. "It scares me too. Ok, I'll go. But only if you're certain-"

"I am," Hermione replied. "And Ginny-"

Ginny stopped short and went back to her friend, hugged her tightly. "I know, Hermione. You're not going to switch sides, or anything stupid like that. Just because you don't want to see Harry right now doesn't mean you can't see me, or even Ron. But Draco will need you more. For the ruse. And because you two…well, because you are who you are." She stood back and looked Hermione in the eyes.

"That about it?"

"Yeah." Hermione smiled sadly. "I'm sorry about all this, Ginny. Regretting any of it about now?"

Ginny was quiet for several seconds and eyed Hermione.

"Are you?" she finally asked.

"Yeah," Hermione repeated softly. "All the time."

Something flickered across Ginny's face and she hugged Hermione once more.

"Don't. There's no point. We only have what's in front of us, right?"

"Gin-"

"Don't," Ginny said, more firmly. "Now, why don't I walk you as far as Pomfrey's, at least, since Harry's likely stopped there for something for his fist by now."

"Not if I know Harry, he hasn't," Hermione replied. "Go on, Ginny. I'll be fine. Off bedrest now, aren't I?"

"Humor me."

Hermione managed another smile, this one a little less sad, and wiped some more tears away.

"Fine. But only because you're more stubborn than me."

Then, as she had less than an hour before, Ginny held out her hand to one of her dearest friends and led her down the hallways and up the staircases of a school that was feeling increasingly small for the size of the problems their lives had grown.

AN: Whew! Sorry for the lateness of this update. We're really nearing the end of things now. Say...five or six more chapters, depending on how much I feel like including in each chapter. And some heavy, heavy drama is ahead. But! Never fear, for there will be a happy ending. Just probs not quite one you're expecting.