CHAPTER 33

Embry POV:

I opened my eyes and the sun was shining through the window. I looked at the clock and saw that it was after nine. I rolled over and put the pillow over my head. Then I realized that today was the day I was meeting my dad. Sam! I needed to call him and tell him.

I threw the pillow off of my head and sat up and put my feet on the floor. I reached over and picked up my phone and dialed Sam's number. I ran my hand over my face while I waited for him to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Sam, it's Embry," I croaked.

"Hey, what's up? Sounds like you just woke up!" he said with a chuckle.

"I did. Do you have to sound so chipper? It's annoying this early in the morning!" I grouched at him.

"You called me, bro. Don't yell at me for being happy to be alive!" Sam returned.

"Yea, whatever. Listen, my mom arranged for our little meeting with our dad to be today, at one. Can you be here?"

I waited. I didn't hear anything. I thought maybe my phone dropped the call. I pulled it away from my ear and looked. Nope. Still connected. "Sam? You there?"

"Yea, dude. I'm here. Um, hang on, will ya?" Sam covered the phone and I could tell he was talking to Emily but I couldn't hear what he was saying. "OK, Embry. Where are we meeting?"

"Um, here, at my house, I guess," I replied. I wasn't sure that Mom said here, but I assumed that's what she meant.

"OK. Emily and I will be there at one. See ya." He hung up. I closed the phone and fell back onto the bed. I wish this day were over already. The waiting was the worst! I thought about Leah. I wanted her to be here, too. I dialed her number and waited for her to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey, baby," I said.

"Hey back. What are doing awake this early on a Sunday morning?"

"I had to call Sam. Mom arranged for our meeting with our dad for today at one. Will you come over and be with me?"

"Of course I will! Are you nervous about meeting him?" she asked.

"Yea, I am. I guess I'm more nervous about what Sam will do."

She laughed. "Well, Emily will make sure he behaves, don't worry. I'll come over about 12:30, OK?"

"OK. Thanks, babe. I really need you today."

"I'm always here for you. I love you."

"Love you, too. See ya later."

"Bye." I rolled over and decided to sleep a little longer. I really wasn't in a hurry to get up and just wait around.

Leah walked in the door at 12:25. I looked up and smiled at her. She was wearing a new sundress. It was same green color that she wore for Emily's wedding. "Wow, you look really pretty. Did you get that when you and your mom went shopping?" I asked her as I stood up to meet her.

She gave me a big smile. "Yes, I did. I'm glad you like it!" I bent down and kissed her. Mmmm, she smells good, too.

"You look pretty hot yourself," she said. I was wearing some new clothes that Mom had just bought me for school. The shorts were black and I was wearing a new dark red v –neck shirt with them. She even bought me new black Pumas! I wasn't sure where she was getting the money for all this. I had this suspicion that he gave her some money to buy me some stuff.

We kissed a few more times and Mom came into the room. "Hey, you two. Mom in the room!" We pulled apart and Leah laughed. "She sounds like Seth!" I smiled and agreed.

Leah looked at my mom and said, "Hi Angie. Big day, huh? You look pretty." Mom was wearing new clothes, too. She had on a really nice dark purple blouse and some white pants. She did look pretty.

"Thanks, honey," Mom said with big smile. "So do you. Oh, I'm so nervous, and I know I shouldn't be. This is the day I've been waiting for for 18 years!"

"I brought my camera. I hope you don't mind. I thought maybe we could get some pictures later," Leah said.

"Oh, that's a good idea. Thanks, Leah," Mom agreed.

I rolled my eyes. This was getting out of hand. I was getting irritated. They were so happy! Like this was a holiday or something! I threw myself onto the couch and slouched down. I looked at the clock for the hundredth time. 12:35. Come on already!

Leah sat down beside me and took my hand. She rubbed her thumb along mine to sooth me. I smiled at her. She always knew what to do to make me feel better. Mom walked back into the bedroom because she forgot her earrings. Earrings? I will never get used to this Mom. She was out of control with how she looked. It was really weird.

At a quarter til one, we heard a knock on the door. I looked at Leah and I think she saw the panic in my eyes. She said, "I'll get it," and she got up to answer the door.

She opened it and Emily said, "Hi! I hope it's OK we're a little early." I let out the breath I was holding. I stood up as Sam and Emily came in.

I walked over to stand in front of Sam and said, "Hey." He looked at me and said, "Hey, bro." He looked awful! He looked like he could hurl at any minute. Emily came over and gave me a hug. She whispered, "He's not doing so well." I nodded.

Leah said, "Come on in and sit down." They sat on the couch, and Leah and I grabbed a couple of the chairs from the kitchen table and brought them in to put by the couch. We sat down just as Mom came into the room.

"Hi Emily, Sam. I'm really glad you're here," she said. Sam just nodded and Emily said, "Thanks, Angie." I looked at Emily and noticed her baby bump was much bigger! She saw me look and she put her hands on her belly and smiled. I smiled back.

"I went to the doctor on Friday," Emily said. "He tells me that my due date should be around Valentine's Day."

"Aw, that would be great!" Leah smiled. "Did he say anything about an ultrasound?"

"Yes, I'm scheduled for one next month."

"Do you want to know ahead of time if it's a boy or a girl?" Leah asked her.

"I don't know. I think I want to be surprised," she answered.

Just then there was another knock on the door. Everyone went silent and I looked at Sam and he looked at me. Now I felt like I was going to hurl! Mom got up and went to the door. She looked over at me and smiled just before she opened the door. "Hi, Josh. Come on in," I heard her say.

Leah had a hold of my hand and I was pretty sure I was going to squeeze it right off of her arm. Sam was doing the same to Emily. I closed my eyes and swallowed. Then I opened my eyes and there he was, standing in the door way. My dad. The man that I had only imagined for the last 18 years. He was here, in my house. I slowly stood up and Leah stood, too. He was very tall and had short dark hair. He was dressed in white button down shirt and jeans. He looked at me with my eyes! We just stood there staring at each other. Finally, my mom took his hand, and led him over to me.

I was shaking from head to toe. He smiled at me and I could see tears in his eyes. I kept trying to think of something to say. I finally got out, "Hey, I'm Embry."

He smiled and said, "Hi Embry. You have no idea how happy I am to meet you." He held out his hand. I just stared at it. I couldn't move. I felt Leah put her hand on my back and give me a gentle nudge. I put my hand out and took his. I could feel tears come to my eyes and I tried so hard to hold them back. But I couldn't. I could see he was doing the same. He pulled my hand gently and I let him pull me to him and embrace me. He held on tight and so did I. I can't believe it! This is my dad.

We stood there like that for quite awhile until we both got our emotions under control. I pulled back and he smiled at me. He put his hand on my shoulder and gave a squeeze. "I'm really looking forward to getting to know you." I just nodded. "I can't believe you're all grown up! We have a lot of catching up to do."

Then he looked over at Leah and said, "Hi Leah. It's good to see you again." She smiled and went to him and hugged him. "I'm glad to see you, too," she said.

Then he turned slowly to look at Sam. He was still sitting on the couch, staring at the floor. Emily nudged him and he finally looked up. Oh God, the pain that was in his eyes. It hurt me just to look at him. He stood up slowly and took a step toward our father. Then before any of us could see what he was thinking, he pulled back and punched Josh right in the face! Emily, Leah and Mom all screamed, and I just stood there and watched as it sent him backward and he landed on the floor.

Mom kneeled down and yelled, "Josh! Honey, are you alright?" Josh sat up and said, "I'm fine, don't worry."

Emily grabbed Sam and yelled at him. "We talked about this, Sam! Are you insane?" Sam just stood there, saying nothing.

Josh stood up and faced Sam. They were equal height and probably equal weight. Josh let Sam hit him. I knew he did. Sam looked him in the eye and said, "That's for my mom."

Josh nodded. "I deserved that, son. She was a good woman who didn't deserve the life she got. You will never know how sorry I am that I never got to tell her that." He put his hand up to his eye. Mom wanted to get him some ice for his eye, but he shook his head. "It's OK."

They stood looking at each other until Sam finally said, "So, Dad. Where you been for the last 18 years? I hear it's a great story." He didn't even try to keep his hostility hidden.

"I'd like to tell you if you want to hear it. I want you to know that I have thought about you every day. I have really missed you, Sam."

He snorted and sat back down on the couch. Emily put out her hand to Josh and said quietly, "Hello. I'm Emily, Sam's wife." Josh smiled and took her hand. "You are more beautiful in real life than your picture. I am very happy to meet you." Emily smiled and sat down next to Sam, who had a sulky look on his face.

The rest of us sat down. Josh sat in the chair by the couch, and mom perched on the arm of the chair. We all looked at Josh, waiting for this wondrous story. He looked at me then Sam. "First of all, I want to apologize to Sam. I want you to know that I never wanted to leave you. I've loved you all your life, son, and it killed me to walk away from you and your mother. But I had to leave to protect you." He took a deep breath then said, "You see, I'm a wolf, too, Sam. Like you, and Embry, and Leah." I couldn't believe it! He's a wolf, too? I looked at Sam to see the surprise on his face, too. He went on, "And yet, I'm not like you. You all are shape shifters. You take the form of the wolf, but keep who you are. You exist to protect humans from vampires. When I phase, it's very different. I'm more werewolf than that. " He hesitated then said, "You see, I am a mix of Quileute and Makah. A very rare mix with a terrible genetic flaw . When I phase into wolf form, I lose myself completely and the werewolf takes over. It hunts to kill, but not just vampires. It kills whatever it sees. Any human form is a target. It doesn't know the difference between those I love and those I don't even know."

Sam and I exchanged looks. Is he kidding with this shit? He didn't look like it. "I know it's hard to believe. But it's true. The first time I phased, I was 22. I was already married, and Sam was 4. It terrified me! I had no idea what was happening. Do you remember how you felt the first time you phased? That fever, then what it felt like after?" We nodded. "That's how it is for me every time. As soon as the fever started, my Grandpa Levi took me out into the woods to try and help me through it. But then, he saw what I was and knew he had to get me away from here. He kept me away and as soon as I phased back, he told me I had to leave and he was sending me to the Makah. He knew there was a man there who could help me. I was devastated! I didn't want to leave. I had a family that depended on me! I tried to stay for awhile and keep to myself. But I never knew when it would happen or for how long. And at first, it happened every 2 or 3 days. But then, one day, I came out of it to find that I had . . . there was a body there beside me. A girl I had known from school." He stopped and hung his head and put his hand up to his eyes. He was very quiet for a moment. "Finally, I knew I had to go. I couldn't imagine hurting Sam or his mom, or worse. So, one night, I left."

He took a deep breath and told us how he found the man there who sent him up north to live with the rest of the wolves like him. "It is a very remote place. Mostly animals around, no humans. I was there for 9 long years. It was hell. I spent more time as a wolf than as a human. In those few human moments, I began thinking more and more about who I left behind. I was missing so much of Sam's life. I hated it! So, I tried very hard to learn the rhythms of my body and what it felt like just before the fever set in. I finally got to a place where I thought I could hold it off long enough to get away before I could hurt someone I loved. It wasn't foolproof, but I had to try."

"I knew I couldn't live in LaPush. It was too close. I couldn't put my family in danger like that. So, I went to Port Angeles. It was a bigger town, and I could fade into the crowd. No one knew me there. I took a job working down at the docks. You can disappear for a while and still get work when you come back. But I made trips here to LaPush." Sam shot him a look. Josh looked at him and said, "I had to see you, Sam. I would stay in the shadows and watch you get on the school bus, or walk down the street with your mom. I wanted so badly to run to you both and tell you I was there. Hug you and tell you how much I loved you." Tears rolled down his cheeks. "But I held back. I didn't trust myself." He wiped his face.

"And when I found out that your mom died . . . it killed me, Sam. That I couldn't be there for her or for you." I could see fresh anger in Sam's eyes. Emily instinctively held onto his arm. "She was a good woman, your mom. She didn't deserve the life I gave her." Josh hung his head and wiped his eyes.

"No, she didn't," Sam said angrily. He looked at Josh, and my mom then looked away. "She died still loving you."

Josh looked up at him. "I know I handled everything wrong, Sam. At first, I was just terrified! I didn't know what was happening to me. I couldn't stand the thought of hurting either of you in my rage. And when I came back, I almost came to you at least a hundred times, but so much time had gone by, I just didn't know how to approach you. And my phasing was still very unpredictable even then. So I stayed away. But I kept an eye on you because I was afraid, as you got older, you might phase . . . and be like me."

"I came about once a week for awhile when you were about 18. I had a bad spell that lasted about 3 weeks and when I came back after that, I saw you running through town. You were huge, and you were running in just shorts even though it was about 40 degrees. I knew then that you had phased. But I wasn't sure into what. I hid in the woods for three nights in a row until I saw you. You are a magnificent wolf, Sam! I saw you and I could tell you were just out running, you weren't hunting to kill, and I can't tell you how relieved I was. I left then and decided that I wouldn't spy on you anymore. You deserved to live your life without that."

Sam exploded then. "You knew I was a wolf and you didn't say anything to me? Do you know how hard that was for me? I had no one, Dad. NO ONE, to help me through that! I thought I was going fucking crazy!"

"I know, I'm so sorry. I should have. I . . . "

"Yea, you SHOULD have! And now you come here with this bullshit about leaving to protect me, and you expect me to just say, 'Thanks, Dad?' Well, thanks, Dad, for making me feel like shit my whole life. Thanks, Dad, for making my mom miserable for the rest of her life. Thanks, Dad, for NEVER being here when I needed you! " Sam jumped off of the couch and walked over to the kitchen. I started to get up, but Leah held me back. "Leave him alone," she whispered.

Sam turned and looked at his dad then pointed at him and yelled, "I loved you, Dad. I fucking needed you! " I could hear his voice shake. This was so hard! Josh got up and walked over to him. "I know, Sam. I let you down. And I have hated myself every day since I walked out on you. I missed birthdays, Christmases, your graduation, your wedding, and most importantly, I wasn't there for you when you phased. I know how terrifying it was for you. I wish I could have been there for you. But I'm here now, son, and I am not going away again. I want to be here for you and for Embry for the rest of my life. If you will let me. Please, Sam, let me."

Sam shook his head as the tears rolled down his face. He backed up until he was against the counter and had nowhere else to go. Josh reached out to Sam and put his arms around him and they hung onto each other. I could hear Sam's sobs and I could feel the tears roll down my cheeks. Leah was crying as she put her arms around me and held me. Mom and Emily were crying, too.

They finally broke apart and Sam turned his back on us to look out the kitchen window. I knew he was trying to collect himself. I quickly wiped my face and watched as Josh walked back into the room to sit down in the chair and put his head into his hands. Mom put her arm around his shoulders and leaned down to whisper something in his ear. That was hard to see! Mom looked over to Sam and took her arm away from Josh. I was proud of her. I didn't think he needed that thrown in his face.

Finally Sam came in the room and sat down on the couch beside Emily. She took his hand and he gave her a small smile. Then he looked at our father and said, "Look, Dad. This can't be fixed overnight. There is a lot of shit we need to work through. But, I want you to know that I will try. Now that I'm going to be a dad, I feel like I need to get past this and move on."

Josh smiled and said, "Sam, I'm so glad to hear that. I know it won't be easy, but that's OK. I just want to be a part of your life. Any part that you are willing to share. I know don't deserve a second chance with you, son, but I surely do want one."

Sam nodded then said, "I think I need to go now. This has been tough for me. I want us to talk again, but give me a little time, OK?"

"Sure. I understand that," Josh said. Sam stood up and brought Emily with him. Josh stood up and held out his hand. Sam looked at it then put his hand out and shook it. "I'm proud of you, Sam. You've grown into a fine man."

"Thanks," he mumbled. He moved toward the door as Emily hugged Josh. "I'm looking forward to getting to know you," she said quietly. He smiled and said, "Me, too." She walked over to Sam and they left the house.

I jumped up and said quickly, "Be right back!" I ran to the door and called out, "Hey, Sam, wait!" He was holding the car door as Emily got into the car. I walked up to him and said, "Are you OK? I mean, that was pretty intense."

He looked at me and said, "No shit!" I had to smile at that which made him smile. "I'll be alright, bro. Don't worry. Go back in there." I gave him a quick hug and he held on a little longer. Then he pulled back, gave me a nod and walked around to the driver's side of the car. "See ya, dude," he said. I waved then turned to go back into the house. I was proud of him. That was hell to watch. I could only imagine what he was going through right now.

I walked in and my dad was asking Leah a question about being the only female wolf in the pack. She laughed and said, "Well, at first I hated every minute of it. But, that's because . . . " she stopped as I sat down. "Go on," I said. She smiled and said, "You see, I used to date Sam. I think I told you that when I first came to see you." Josh nodded. "After Sam phased for the first time, things were hard for us. He couldn't tell me what was going on, and I was a wreck. Then, my cousin, Emily, came to visit and . . . Sam imprinted on her."

"Oh, Leah. Now I understand why you said you really understood imprinting," Josh commented.

"Yea. I was heartbroken and angry and very hateful. He tried to explain, but of course he couldn't tell me the truth then. I just thought he dumped me for my cousin. Then, my dad passed away. He was out hunting, and he had a heart attack. He wasn't that old, so it's not like we expected it or anything. " She had to stop and try to collect herself. A few tears rolled down her cheek and she quickly wiped them away. "So, then I phase. And EVERYONE freaks because there has never been a female wolf in the pack. So now I am not only heartbroken, and grieving, but I am a freak of nature to everyone. It was a pretty dark time. "

"I can see that. How on earth did you get through all of that?" Josh asked.

She looked at me and took my hand. "Embry," she said with a smile. She looked back at Josh. "I was such a bitch to all of them for so long. Especially Sam. I hated him so much for imprinting on Emily, even though I knew that he couldn't help it. But, one night, after patrolling, Embry took the time to walk with me on the beach. He let me vent out all my anger and frustration, and then he held me and let me cry it all out." She looked at me with love shining in her eyes then she looked back at Josh. "He also shared with me that night about how much it hurt him not knowing who his father was. He opened up to me and shared his hurt with me. It really helped to know that someone else might know how I felt. That started the healing, which led to Sam and Emily and I all talking and working things out. I am now very happy to be such good friends with them both. I might never have had that chance without Embry."

She went on, "Now I love being a part of the pack! Although they tend to treat me a little differently because I'm a girl, I still like being a part of this big family. It's like having a bunch of brothers."

He nodded and smiled. "I'm so glad that you and Sam worked out your differences. Is that weird for you, Embry?"

I laughed. "Well, I've always known they had a relationship, but that was before I knew Sam was my brother. It's a little weird, but I'm getting used to it."

"So, Embry, do you have any questions for me?" my dad asked.

I looked over at him and asked, "Um, yea. You never mentioned, when did you meet my mom? "

"No, I didn't want to in front of Sam. I met your mom when I went to the Makah to find the man my grandpa sent me to see. Did your mom tell you how we met?"

I nodded. "She was getting off work at the grocery store and she bumped into you."

They both smiled at that memory. He took her hand and said, "She did! She ran right into me. And I felt a lightning bolt go straight through me." He looked at her then and I was shocked at what I saw! My mom's whole face lit up and he had such love in his eyes for her. I couldn't believe it! "We just talked about imprinting so I know you understand what that is." I nodded and he said, "Well, I know that's what happened to me when I saw your mom. It was amazing. I asked her where I could find this man, and she told me. But I couldn't let her go. I felt an instant connection with her. We had a drink and I asked her to dance. Just holding her in my arms for that dance, I knew something was happening between the two of us. I'm pretty sure she told you the rest. I want you to know, Embry, those days I spent with your mom were the happiest of my life. I know I was married, and to very fine woman. But it was something that I couldn't fight." He looked at Mom again. "I was madly in love with her." The smile on my mom's face was something like I had never seen before. She was glowing.

"Then on that third morning, I felt the fever coming on. I knew I had to get away and soon. I took her back to that horrible little shack and left her there. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I hated myself so much. I quickly found the man on the reservation that my Grandpa sent me to find, and I left that day to go up north."

"As soon as I made that decision to come back, I went right to the Makah and looked for your mom. I thought about her every day I was gone. I went back to that little house, but her aunt had died and her uncle, the old drunk, told me that your mom had packed up and moved out and he had no idea where she went. I was devastated. I had no idea where to look for her! I can't believe I never thought to look here, in LaPush. " He smiled at Mom. "She was so smart to come here. You have Sam here, and I hear he helped you when you first phased. I'm so glad that he accepted you as his brother. That makes me very happy."

"Me, too," I said. "I love Sam. He's been a great brother to me."

"Look, I know this is all pretty strange. But, I want to be your father, Embry, if you'll let me. I've missed 18 years of your life. I don't want to miss anymore. I hope we can maybe just be friends and try to get to know one another, then see where that goes. How do you feel about that?"

"Yea, I want to get to know you, too." He beamed at me.

"And, about me and your mom. I want you to know, that I still love her. I never stopped." He looked at mom and she added, "Me, too." He went on, "As I have aged, my phasing now has lengthened out to where I usually get a few weeks in between. This is my third week, so I am anticipating that I will phase soon. That's why I wanted to meet right away. I will stay away until I feel it is safe again. I don't know what that means for me and your mom. I already told her that I would marry her right now if I could. But, I don't know how that would work out. I still don't want to put any of you in danger. But she has told me that she wants to be with me, however we can work it out. I hope you can accept that, Embry."

I looked over at Leah. I knew that I would do anything to be with her, no matter what. If that's how my parents felt, how could I be against that? I looked at him and said, "I'm OK with it as long you don't hurt her again. She doesn't deserve that. Don't walk away from her." Mom smiled at me.

"I won't, Embry. Now that I've found her again, I will never let her go." He smiled at her and captured her hand with both of his.

"Does this mean you're moving here to LaPush?" I asked him.

"I don't know. I want to, but I'm not sure how I'll be received. I guess I need to talk to the elders of the tribe. They don't like my kind, if you know what I mean. If they don't want me here, I'll move to Forks." I nodded.

"So, tell me a little about you. I know you're a senior this year, your mom told me. But what else? What do you like to do?" he asked.

"Uh, well, I go to school, then I go to Jake's and we work on cars, trucks, motorcycles, whatever anyone brings us. We're saving money to open a shop of our own someday," I told him.

"Really? That's great," he said. "I always liked tinkering on things, too."

"Yea, it's pretty cool. And I run patrols, well all of us do. And I hang out with Leah," I said as I looked over at her with a smile.

"You're a lucky guy. I was very impressed with this young lady when she showed up at my door. I could tell then how much she cared about you."

"I am lucky," I said as I smiled at Leah. She smiled back and said, "Well, I'm pretty lucky, too." She leaned over and kissed me.

I stood up and said, "I think I need a break to kind of think things over. Leah? Will you walk with me?" She smiled and said, "Sure." She stood up and we walked to the door. My dad stood up and came to me and said, "I'm real proud to meet you, son. Thanks for letting me come here today." He put out his hand and I shook it.

"Thanks. Me, too. We won't be gone long." I opened the door and Leah went out and I followed. I took her hand and we walked down the street.

I was quiet as we walked. So much was running through my head! He was telling us about being a monster werewolf killing machine, and my mom is looking at him like he's a god! Seeing them so in love was weird, yet it wasn't. I was so confused and not sure how to feel about anything!

Leah patiently walked beside me, and was content to let me process everything. We got to the end of the street and I kept walking into the woods. When we reached the clearing, I stopped and looked at Leah. I shook my head and tried to find the words I wanted to say. She smiled at me and said, "It's OK, Embry. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

And that really amazed me. She wasn't going anywhere. She was right here with me. I smiled and bent down and kissed her. I leaned my forehead on hers and said, "Thank you, Leah. Thank you for finding my dad. Thank you for being here. Thank you for loving me."

She smiled radiantly and replied, "I will always be right here. I love you, Embry."