Bella's POV:
I was holding on to the car door, about to plant my ass in the ridiculously low passenger seat of Alice's Porsche, when the most dreadful words came flying out of her mouth.
"See you guys tonight!"
Without warning, my legs gave out and I fell heavily into the sunken seat; the car shaken every bit as much as my composure.
Has she gone mad? Has the toxins from her hair product finally seeped inside her head and killed off the few remaining brain cells she had left?
Rendered speechless by her untimely declaration, I could only watch in dismay as she casually slid into the driver side with both style and grace that only she possessed. My stare was fierce, focusing on her face and its lack of concern, as I waited impatiently for her to feel its burn.
"What?" she asked irritably, adjusting the rear view mirror to check her make-up.
"S-s-see you guys tonight?" My words came out stuttered and dripping with incredulity, which at that point had me twisted in knots at the thought of having to face Edward after what had just happened. The thought of being alone with him so soon after panting his name in my sleep...
Let's just say I couldn't be held responsible for my actions.
The only thing I had planned for was a nice quiet evening alone with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company. I hadn't had a chance to fully take in what Jacob had done, let alone the opportunity to really think about the plan that Jasper had concocted to make his intentions backfire. The idea of pissing Jacob off using his lie against him, with Edward as my accomplice, was still a little unnerving.
There were two things I needed to ask myself before jumping into this:
Would it be worth the risk involved to see Jacob finally get what he deserves, and would the payback be worth the inevitable heartbreak I would no doubt feel once the plan was over- along with my pseudo-relationship with Edward?
The first answer was obvious... Abso-fucking-lutely. But the later... The later was possibly a deal breaker.
I was confused about everything, and the fact that I was going to see Edward again in just a couple of hours did nothing but complicate matters even more. And Since my brain was totally useless when he was around, attempting to form an intelligible resolution under the circumstances would have been a complete waste of time.
I believe the saying is "Two's company, and three"- plus the guy who can make me cum in my sleep- is fucking claustrophobic.
"Well..." Alice began, pulling me from my reverie. "Jasper and I were talking and we both feel ..."
I interrupted her just long enough to point out, "I seriously doubt there was much talking going on before me and Edward walked up."
She simply rolled her eyes at my sarcasm and resumed from where she left off. "We both feel that it would be pertinent to the plan if you and Edward were to get a little more acquainted, that's all." She made sure to curl her fingers with the word pertinent, as to stress its importance.
Acquainted?
Sensing my apprehension, she sighed. "Look, Bella... If you really want this plan to work, you and Edward have to be more comfortable around each other. You guys looked nervous as hell today...all thumbs and left feet. Take, for example, your little stunt in the cafeteria. My God, it looked more like you were pulling your 4 year old child through the grocery store, than walking hand and hand with the guy you're suppose to be fucking. And don't even get me started on the locker scene."
The heat was overwhelming, spreading across my face and down my neck, as I thought about the fact that she had witnessed the kiss. But then again, that was the point, right? It was meant for everyone to see, kind of our coming out kiss, and for the soul purpose of solidifying our plan; although on my part, it had absolutely nothing to do with the plan. The moment his lips met my skin, everything was forgotten, and I found myself fantasizing that the kiss was by choice...and not by obligation. I couldn't stop myself from wondering what it would be like if it were real- the attraction that everyone else was seeing and that I was feeling. I could only wish that he felt it too.
Returning from the ghost of kisses past, I was abruptly brought to the present by the sound of Alice's impatience being drummed out on the steering wheel.
With my fingers combing through my hair, I snapped, "What do you mean, the locker scene? Did you expect me to shove my tongue down his throat right there in the hallway? I'm not like that, Alice. Not to mention, I hardly know the guy!"
Oh, but how I wished I did, and in so many not-so-friendly ways...
She quickly straightened in her seat, making sure to look me dead on, while returning my earlier incredulity. "But a kiss on the cheek, Bella? Was that really the best you two could come up with?" Then shaking her head, she yelled with exasperation, "Can you at least act like a normal teenage girl? Wear a little makeup!... Buy designer clothes!... And yes, shove your tongue down some guys throat, especially if you hardly know him!" Taking a deep breath and lowering her voice, she explained, "My point is, desperate times call for desperate measures. For this to work, you're gonna have to break out of the shell you've been hiding in and do some things that you view as compromising to character. And who knows, you might even like it."
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, picturing the incidents with a noticeable wince. It was true. I was a nervous wreck around Edward. I didn't know what it was, but something about him made me lose all coherency, muscle strength and balance- which was flimsy to begin with- when he was around. I didn't have an arguement; she was right and it irritated me to no end to have to admit it.
"I see your point," I sighed, turning my head forward and effectively ending the conversation.
The ride back to her house was uncharacteristically silent. While Alice stared distractedly at the road ahead, I fought a losing battle with the chaos in my head. My thoughts were erratic, shifting between my hatred for Jacob and my desire for Edward, the inconsistency dizzying. The longer I sat there fighting it, the more my anxiety grew.
Desperate for some kind of resolve, I focused on the emotion that bothered me the most... It was at that point, that I finally gave myself over to the desire I was feeling for Edward and let the memories of the afternoon come to the forefront of my mind.
First, I recalled his tender kiss as we stood by my locker, and the promise it seemed to hold for a possible future. Ha! In my dreams... Then, I thought about his genuine distress at finding me with Jacob, and the way he had pulled me so close to his chest. No one, aside from my parents, has ever acted so protective over me... And then there was the dream. Oh God, the dream. It had been...stimulating, to say the least; and although I couldn't be sure, I was almost positive it had a happy ending.
I leaned my head back comfortably, letting my eyes fall shut... And there it was, the images magnified and unbearably vivid. As it flowed smoothly behind my eyelids, I bit down on my lip with my legs pressed together in earnest. It was all too much, an overload of sensations... The feel of his hands, the warmth of is breath, and the forcefulness of his need, as it thrust inside me over and over again, until...
Oh yeah, there was definitely a happy ending.
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As soon as we stepped inside Alice's house, kicking our shoes off at the door, my cell phone rang.
"Hello daddy... Hello mom. I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!"
I didn't have to look at the caller ID to know who it was. There were only two people it could have been, and Renee never called before sundown- always more of a night person herself.
"Charlie," I sighed, darting my eyes to Alice for support.
I still wasn't sure if he had talked to Billy and what, if anything, he knew about me and Jacob. So preparing myself for the conversation, I took a deep breath, tapped the touchscreen of my phone, then hesitantly brought it to my ear.
"Hey dad!" I answered overly enthusiastic, hoping my optimism would be contagious.
"Where are you?"
I sat stunned, waiting for some kind of greeting... A "Hello", or "How are you?" would have sufficed.
"Answer me." His tone was short, his words clipped, hinting to his wearing patience.
Mission "optimism" officially aborted…
Sighing in defeat, I asked, "So what did Billy tell you?"
There was no point in beating around the bush. If the shit was going to hit the fan, then I was going to throw the first pile.
"Billy didn't tell me anything... What the hell's going on, Bells?"
"If you're asking why I broke up with Jacob, it's none of your business. This is between him and I."
I could faintly hear him talking to someone, telling them he would be in his office, and with the sound of a door slamming he was back on the line.
"It becomes my business when Jacob tells me..." He cleared his throat and lowered his voice to just above a whisper. "...that you've been having sex with random guys."
Jacob... And there you have it; the reason I can't tell Charlie the truth.
Charlie had already made up his mind... I was guilty. And to have tried making him think otherwise would have been pointless.
Blinding anger ripped through my body, and feeling my legs about to give, I plopped down on the couch behind me and gripped the phone tightly in my fist.
"Is it true?" he questioned abruptly, only fueling my anger for being such a coward.
For a moment, I wrestled with the idea of telling him the truth just to see what he would say. But who was I fucking kidding? I knew what he would say, and I couldn't bare to hear it.
"Well, if Jacob told you...then it must be true, right?" I answered with resentment. Not only had Jacob turned the entire school against me, but the only family I had here as well.
"I don't think we have anymore to say. I'm going to be staying at Alice's for the rest of the week, so you won't have to look at your disappointment of a daughter. Goodbye, Charlie." And with that, I slammed the phone down on the oak-stained coffee table.
Consumed by regret, and disappointment with myself, I pulled my knees to my chest and began crying into the dark denim of my jeans.
"Bella?..." A hesitant hand moved across my shoulders, drawing consoling patterns along my back.
"The plan is going to work. You'll see." Alice's voice was timid, but sure, and I couldn't help but find solace in her words.
"It better." I croaked out, tired of crying about it and sick of talking about it.
Without warning, Alice launched herself at my chest and pulled me into a tight hug. While my emotions were ripping me apart at the seems, it was Alice that held me together.
We stayed like that for a moment, swaying and sniffling in each others' shirts, until she slowly pushed me away and looked me over.
"I know what you need," she stated matter-of-factly, before rising to her sock-feet and pattering toward the kitchen.
I waited for an explanation, and when I saw she wasn't going to offer one, I asked hesitantly, " And what is that?"
Please don't say sex...
"Pizza, of course." Then she stepped inside the kitchen.
Her unexpected answer made me laugh, until the thought of food made my stomach growl and churn with hunger. I hadn't even thought about food until then, and I questioned the probability of being able to keep it down.
As soon as she left the room to make the call, I pulled out my calculus book and began busying myself with limits and derivatives. Studying always helped to clear my head and focus on something other than myself, which was exactly what I was needing at the moment.
After looking over the first page, I realized my focus was for shit. The letters and numbers began running together to form a jumbled mess of nonsense, while my thoughts went to memories that were best left forgotten.
As they ran their consecutive course through my head, it wasn't long before I was back at my locker with Jacob towering over me.
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Lost in the memory of Edward's kiss just an hour before, I absently gathered the books for my next class with a smile.
When I leaned down to zip up my bag, I heard the footsteps of someone approaching, then the sound of my locker door slamming shut. I jumped and turned around quickly, and was surprised to find Jacob standing disturbingly close, trapping me in my spot.
"Wh- What are you doing?" I choked out, looking around the hall while trying to avoid the evil in his eyes.
"I should be asking you the same question."
The shaking in his voice was disquieting, and I immediately started looking for a way to escape, darting under his arm only to be met by the taut muscle of his bicep.
"Please, Jacob. Just let me go." I finally raised my head and looked him in the eyes, hoping to find a shred of compassion... But seeing none.
Slowly shaking his head, he stepped closer until his chest was firmly pressed against mine. "I can't do that, baby."
His right hand went to my neck and tangled in my hair, while his lips skimmed along my jaw. "Why did you let that loser put his mouth on you? I can smell his stink on your skin."
His words did nothing but fuel my growing anger, as a new-found-confidence sent me over the edge. "Well, seeing as how we've already fucked, it only seems fair that I let him kiss me."
His hand jerked away from my neck, my head falling audibly against the hard metal of the locker door.
When I opened my eyes, Jacob's had turned to onyx, his featured twisting in disgust. "Watch yourself, Bella. I'm warning you."
It wasn't until I felt his "warning" thrust into my hip, that everything became evidentially clear.
The sick bastard wasn't done with me yet.
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When the doorbell rang, Alice came bounding out of the kitchen into the foyer squealing with excitement. I could only watch with jealousy, as she opened the door and slung her arms around Jasper's neck without the least bit of hesitation.
Oh to be so free...
If and when I had the pleasure of Edward's touch again, it wouldn't be such a spontaneous event. Our touches had to be orchestrated, timed just perfectly, to be beneficial to the fucking plan. I didn't have the luxury of showing my affection so freely, or the piece of mind that went with knowing it would have even been welcomed.
While Alice and Jasper mocked me unknowingly, my attention was drawn to the door and the fact that Edward wasn't standing there.
He's changed his mind... I know it.
The sudden pang of disappointment hit me like a ton of bricks, and I fought hard to keep it from showing on my face. I was surprised by how deep my feelings for him went. It wasn't his looks, his image, or his status that made me want him. It was all of him. I needed him, craved him, and would take any part of him that I could get... Even if it was just a charade.
Alice, still smiling at the sight of Jasper, shot a glance to me before asking him, "Where's Edward?"
He took off his jacket and sat down casually beside me. With a mischievous look in his eyes, he answered, "Don't worry pretty darlin'... He'll be here. Just had to make a quick stop to pick up some supplies for the evening." His eyebrows raised with his insinuation.
Supplies?... Exactly how acquainted do they expect us to get?
"Oh stop it, Jasper." Alice giggled, swatting at his arm. "If you only knew how hard it was for me to get her to agree to this, you wouldn't be teasing her like that."
Turning to me and rolling her eyes, she assured, "I think what Jasper is trying to say, is that Edward's making a pot run."
Weed... Oh thank God!
I offered Jasper a tight smile, relieved that he wasn't actually speaking in code for condoms.
I've made it this long with my virginity still intact, and am not about to lose it for the sake of some half-brained scheme.
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When the pizza arrived, not liking the idea of trying to keep food down in my overly anxious stomach, I sent Jasper and Alice in the kitchen to eat without me.
I was putting my books away, when I heard a vehicle rumble into the driveway. And in my sock feet I ran, skidding my way to the front door, and peeked out the peephole. The light in the car was on and I could see Edward taking a drag off his cigarette then flicking out the window.
So...James Dean.
Hurriedly, I darted in front of the mirror that hung low in the foyer and began fluffing my hair and pinching my cheeks. I lowered my hands to look at the progress, and only saw a big-haired, red-faced disappointment staring back at me.
There isn't enough make-up or hairspray in the world to cover up all the things that are wrong with me.
Shuffling back to the door, I jumped at the sound of someone knocking with urgency. My hand shaking with nerves, I reached for the knob and turned it slowly. Just do it...like a band aid. And like my inner voice advised, I swung the door open unprepared for the sight before me.
There stood Edward, rain pelting his head and streams of water tracing the outline of his perfect features. Several water-soaked strands of hair had found their way over his forehead and were dangling perfectly in his eyes. Even though his shivering was obvious, the rain and wind attacked him with tenacity, his heart-stopping smile never faltered.
Looking around awkwardly, he ran his fingers through his dripping hair and asked, "Can I come in?"
Duh, Bella, let the poor guy in.
"Oh, yeah, of course. I'm so sorry."
I held the door open, moving to the side to let him through. When the sleeve of his jacket brushed against my breast, a soft moan escaped my mouth that I quickly covered with a cough.
Why is it that my mouth can't form the words Come and In, but has no problem making embarrassing noises without my consent… Fucking traitor!
"Uh, Where's Alice and Jasper?"
"What? Oh...We ordered pizza." We ordered pizza? Did that even answer his question? There you go, Bella. Win him over with your excellent verbal skills.
As we walked into the kitchen, I stayed behind him trying to avoid another episode of tourettes like the one I had when he brushed against me. Once we entered, I quickly noted that I had no choice but to sit beside him, effectively ruining my plan to avoid contact at all cost. Sitting this close, we were bound to bump elbows or knees and the chance of me being able to ignore his touch- even if it was by accident- was zero to none.
"Did you bring it?" Jasper asked, raising his head to Edward while wiping his hands on a grease-covered paper towel,
Without answering, Edward reached inside his jean pocket and withdrew a large bag of pot, throwing it on the kitchen table in front of us.
"You owe me twenty." Edward's hand shot out expectantly.
Instead of reaching into his wallet, Jasper's hand flew to his chest as he cried, "Dude... I'm hurt. You know I'm good for it. Don't worry."
"Yeah, that's what you said last time." Edward looked to me and rolled his eyes. It was clear that Edward would never see that money... and it was probably not the first time.
Like the fein she was, Alice quickly grabbed the bag and began breaking up a fluffy bud before remembering her manners and asking, "Do you mind?"
Edward simply nodded and she went on about her business, breaking the stems and crumbling the bud until it was the perfect consistency.
Stilling a glance at Edward, I noticed his expression was full of awe and wonder as he watched Alice with amazement.
"Alice is somewhat of a spliff savant," I explained in a whisper. "She might not be able to roll change, but she can roll a joint in 10 seconds flat. She tried to teach me once... The damn thing ended up looking like a lumpy baseball bat."
He laughed and got strangled on a bite of pizza before taking a huge gulp of his Pepsi.
Before I knew it, we were Cheech'd and settled in a comfortable silence. It wasn't until I looked up and noticed Jasper and Alice in a silent conversation of their own, that I became painfully aware of the sexual tension surrounding us. The look in their eyes was completely carnal and made me feel embarrassed that I was intruding on such as intimate moment. Alice's breath was becoming heavy as Jasper's eyes, while they traveled up and down her body.
Out of nowhere, Alice jumped to her feet and blurted breathlessly, "Jasper!" Then taking a deep controlled breath, she advised, "Why don't we leave Edward and Bella alone so they can talk, or...whatever. And we can go to my room and finish the conversation we were having early."
Jasper's mouth broke out in a wide grin as he stood to his feet and followed her out of the kitchen. Once at the stairs, he took his place behind her, placing his hands on her hips as she led the way.
The silence between Edward and I, that once was comfortable, became agonizingly awkward the moment Alice and Jasper left the room. Edward sat in his chair running his finger through the salt that had spilled on the table, while I nervously folded my napkin over and over again into a tiny square.
Say something! Anything!
"I...", "Do You...," we started at the same time, stopping to wait for the other to continue.
We both took a gulp of our drinks, trying to deflect the awkwardness of the situation, when Edward finally broke the silence.
"Jasper said I should tell you a little bit about myself...for pretense purposes. I just don't know what to say... I'm pretty boring."
I took note of how nervous he seemed, running his hands through his hair and shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
What did he have to be nervous about? I was the one sitting next to the guy that had the power to turn me into a bumbling fool. Talking under this kind of pressure wasn't my strong suit, as I had earlier found out.
"What's your full name?" I asked randomly, surprised that I was able to form a complete sentence. Not only was my brain being affected by Edward's presence, but I was also stoned out of my head.
When he spoke, my eyes watched distractedly as his mouth moved with the words, "Edward. Masen. Cullen."
The way his lips pressed together with the "M" in Masen made me wonder what they would taste like if I licked them, knowing they would be sweet and savory.
When he stopped speaking, I watched as he swallowed deeply, his Adam's apple bobbing up and then down again.
How can he make such a mundane action seem so... fascinating?
My eyes roamed up from his long neck and over his squared chin, until they were met by piercing green. He was watching me watching him, the intensity startling. Our eyes stayed transfixed on one another, until suddenly he shut them tight, shaking his head vigorously.
"What?" I asked, confused by his expression and the obvious frustration I saw in it.
When he opened them again, focusing on the table in front of us, he took a deep breath and slowly raised them back up to mine.
"You make me really nervous." His voice was just above a whisper, timid and unsure.
Of course I do...I really need to work on my subtlety...Fucking weed!
"Ditto." I said in barely a whisper, not sure if I wanted him to hear. "Look, why don't we just tell each other some random facts about ourselves. Maybe it'll break the ice."
He nodded slowly. "Alright." Then scratching his head in concentration, he blurted, "I'm allergic to strawberries." His mouth turned up into an inviting smile.
Okay, this shouldn't be too hard. Start small... Allergies... "I'm allergic to peanut butter." Easy-peasy...
His smile widened. "I love peanut butter."
"I love strawberries." I couldn't help but laugh, finally feeling my nerves begin to die down a bit.
Chewing on his bottom lip, deep in thought, he looked down at his feet and said, "I don't untie my shoes...like, ever. I'm lazy I guess."
"Me too!" I exclaimed excitedly, as if that one similarity destined us to be together.
Then trying to wane in my enthusiasm, I quickly revealed another trivial factoid about myself. "I watch sesame street when I stay home from school. I've kinda got a thing for Elmo."
He laughed and one-upped me by admitting, "I still watch The Power Rangers." Then shrugging his shoulder, he explained shyly, "I used to pretend I was the red ranger."
I gave him a big smile, and was about to tell him "I wear Smurf pajamas to bed", but instead, "I'm a virgin," came flying out of my mouth from fucking no where.
And I wonder why... What is this weed, A freakin' truth serum?
I quickly gasped and buried my face in my hands, cursing myself under my breath. He had to have been questioning my sanity by that point. Between my inability to speak coherently and my insistent bouts of Tourettes, it was only a matter of time before he realized what exactly he had gotten himself into and got the hell out of dodge.
After a moment, realizing that there was no way things could get any worse, I ventured a glance at Edward. I was surprised to see that he was still there, and looking directly at me with an expectant smirk.
In an attempt to explain my lack of a filter, I started mumbling something about "weed" and "brain/mouth coordination". As I tried to salvage what was left of my dignity, I noticed Edward's face had turned as red as mine and quickly shut my mouth.
Dropping his head and staring at his hands, he confessed, "Me too," with a shrug of his shoulders.
My initial reaction was to laugh, totally sure that he was lying.
"Yeah, right. And I'm Heidi Fleiss. Welcome to my stud ranch," I scoffed, laughing at the sad truth of my obvious unlikeness to Heidi Fleiss.
I was still laughing when Edward interrupted me, by shrieking, "It's true. Do you really think I would admit something like that if it wasn't?"
"But you're a guy... Why... How...?" I was shocked, floored really. How had This beautiful boy gone through his teenage years without having at least one sexual experience? I mean, Damn! As sacred as I thought my virginity to be; Edward needed only to ask and I would have been sprawled out across that dining table offering my virginity on a serving dish.
Running his fingers through his hair, he murmured, "I don't know... I mean, I've had my chances, but it never seemed right... Not the right person, not the right time; and in some cases, not enough booze. I guess I'm kinda saving myself." Then sitting up in his chair, rubbing his hands on his jeans nervously, he asked, "Can we get off the subject now? Talking to you about my sexual shortcomings is very...emasculating."
"Sure," I said, smiling as he squirmed in his seat. "So, what's next on Jasper and Alice's agenda for us?"
Edward's attention suddenly fell to the wood grain in front of him as his finger began tracing it's pattern. "Uhm, kiss..."
What? "What?"
"Well, Jasper suggested that we...practice."
Jasper, Jasper, Jasper... I never thought I could be so sick of hearing someone's name. Why couldn't Edward just say that He wanted to, or that He thought we should.
"Right... Practice. Alice said something about it too. Apparently we're...awkward."
I dropped my head, thinking about her embarrassing comment, when I heard my name and looked up. And there was Edward, on his knees in front of me, his hands gripping the sides of my chair.
My eyes widened with the sight of him licking his lips at eye-level. God, those lips. I didn't even see his hand move, when suddenly I felt it resting against my cheek.
"We don't have to... Not if you don't want to," he stammered, his voice timid and unsure.
If he only knew how bad I wanted to... I needed it, more than I needed oxygen; or so I had found out, having not taken a breath since his knees hit the floor. I had a nagging feeling that if I didn't get this kiss, I was surely going to die.
Trying to regain my composure, I took in a shaky breath and raised my head. "No, I want to... I mean, we should..."
Before I could finish my sentence, his hands went to my thighs as his thumbs coaxed my legs apart. I couldn't speak, focusing solely on his long fingers that were pressing into my flesh.
Then looking into my eyes, he moved closer, wedging his body between my legs. He was so close I could feel his breath on my face which I inhaled hungrily.
I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest... Like I was going to hyperventilate and stop breathing all at the same time. If that is even possible. And almost did when he grabbed my hips and pulled me even closer, my ass dragging along the lacquered wood of my chair. My eyes closed involuntarily, as I waited impatiently for his next move.
"Do it. Do it. Do it," I pleaded silently, begging for an end the torturous wait.
With a soft brush of his lips, my prayers were answered. The kiss was short and tender, giving me just enough to make we want more, when he suddenly stopped.
Why has he stopped? What did I do?
When I opened my eyes, I saw nothing but green. Their intensity caused me to instinctively tighten my knees against his hips. And before I knew what I was doing, my hands were gripping his shirt, my mouth diving for his.
There we were, chest to breast, our mouths moving desperately against one another. It wasn't until his tongue touched my lip that my grasp on reality was severed, and I lost myself in the fantasy that I was his and he was mine and the stupid fucking plan never existed.
Edward POV:
Open your eyes, beautiful... Open your eyes and see me, really see me.
Since I couldn't tell her with words exactly how I felt about her, then I had to show her. I needed to show her, so that I didn't have regrets later about letting the opportunity pass.
After kissing her chastely on the lips, realizing that it may be my last chance, I pulled away and waited for her to see me, hoping that she would understand.
When she finally opened her eyes I looked in them, projecting in my stare every ounce of feeling I had for her and more. It was fierce and fiery, and though I couldn't be sure, seemed to stir something in her. She took a sudden shaky breath, and then...
Jesus Christ! Her answering kiss threw me off balance, causing me to tighten my grip on her hips for leverage. It was both wild and sudden, dripping with desperation and tempting every fiber of my control.
I had fantasized about this very moment repeatedly the last couple of months, but the actual act only made me realize just how limited my imagination really was. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was feeling at that very moment. My senses were overwhelmed by her...her sound, her taste, her smell, her touch. I couldn't decifer which way was up and which way was down, disoriented by the feel of her all around me.
It wasn't until my tongue teased her lip, eliciting from her a deep and breathless moan, that my carefully calculated restraint finally crumbled. I pushed my tongue deep inside the warmth of her mouth, and was promptly greeted by the most amazingly soft, wet, slippery, hot, talented tongue known to man.
She may have been lacking in sexual expertise, but she was a well of knowledge when it came to the art of seduction. Her hands traveled to my neck, tangling in my hair while her tongue twisted and twirled around mine, before retracting again.
"Fuck!" I choked out, lunging my hips forward, pushing my dick into her thigh. Then...I froze.
NO! I can't do this. Not like this.
With a frustrated roar, I ripped myself from her embrace and shot up from my place between her legs, knocking over my chair- the table shifting with a screech.
Standing there, turned away from her with my head in my hands, I heard a soft voice ask, "What did I do wrong?"
Wrong?... Wrong? It was what you did right that made me pull away, not wrong. The tent in my trousers was proof enough, and was the reason I couldn't turn around and reassure her like I wanted.
"It's not like that," I answered, wanting nothing more than to hold her close so that she could feel what her kiss really did to me.
As I turned to face her, the sound of bouncing, happy feet echoed from the staircase, moving in our direction.
Quickly, I crossed the span of flooring that lay between us and knelt once again at her feet. Her knees were pulled to her chin, feet propped on the seat below her. I had to see her face, and placing my finger underneath her chin, I raised it up so that her eyes were level with mine. She was upset, that I could see, and she had every right to be. I had let things get too far, and then made her think it was her fault.
As I was about to apologize and explain my actions, Alice skipped into the kitchen with Jasper in tow.
"Hello boys and girls! How was class?" she asked, her attention shifting between me and Bella, mistaking the scene as intimate.
"Oops, looks like class is still in session. Don't mind us, we'll just be in the other room."
When they turned to leave, Bella quickly stood from her chair and exclaimed, "No!" with more volume than was expected. "That's really not necessary. We were done here anyway... Right Edward?"
She looked at me expectantly, and the look on her face told me there was no point in arguing.
"Rrrright," I agreed hesitantly, not wanting to leave things like they were, but not really having a choice in the matter.
I stared at her, my heart aching and my feet refusing to move, when Alice clapped her hands together and began, "Okay, this is the plan." Turning to Bella she proceeded. "I , unfortunately, have cheerleading practice tomorrow, so Edward will be driving you here after school." Then freezing, obviously rethinking her plan, she added, "Matter of fact, he will be taking you to school as well. It will be the perfect time for you guys to show a little PDA for Jacob's enjoyment. God, my brilliance almost scares me!"
Bella opened her mouth to speak, as Alice quickly cut her off. "And I don't mean any of that 'cheek kissing' bullshit, either. I want to see some tongue, I want to see groping, and maybe a little hair pulling." She ended her rant with a satisfied grin.
"Now, any questions?" She asked, daring us to protest.
We both shook our heads and quietly said, "No." For an elf, she was very intimidating.
"Good!" She squealed, hopping up in down in place. "Now Edward, I expect you to be here promptly at 7:00 am. Bella is very punctual, and if you're not early, then you're late." Her tone, serious and precise, held a very philosophical air about it.
Jasper clapped me on the shoulder and pointed out, "It's getting late, brother. We should probably be getting home."
I took a last glance at Bella and called out her name questioningly. "Bella?" She did nothing but ignore me, focusing all her attention on the rainbow socks she wore on her feet. "I'll see you in the morning?" I asked, needing to hear her voice one last time before I left.
"Sure."
Her answer was clipped, and I couldn't help but wonder how I'd let things go so wrong so fast.
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
The drive home was long and quiet, allowing too much time to think about the debacle that was our evening. I was tired; tired of thinking and worrying about the day ahead. I cranked up the stereo and drowned myself in the smooth inviting waters of Eddie Vedder's voice that flowed from the speakers of my old Alpine.
Once I got home, laying down in the quiet darkness of my room, there Bella was. This was how it was most nights, me closing my eyes and her showing up in my bed wearing nothing but her innocence and a smile. I slid my hand under the waist band of my boxers and took my time, working her out of my head and into my hand.
Finally I was able to relax and fall into a deep sleep.
I rose with the alarm, fulling awake and ready to go. There was a pep in my step that wasn't there before, at least not this early in the day. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, tried to tame my hair to no avail, and grabbed a poptart before jumping in my car and barreling down the highway.
I was eager to see Bella, hoping that she'd had time to think and understand what really happened the night before. Surely, she didn't still believe that she did something wrong. Surely she could see that it was what she did right that affected me the way it did.
Pulling into Alice's drive, I noticed the dry spot where her car had once been and looked to the house, worried that Bella had changed her mind and left with her.
As I looked to the porch, Bella came booming out of the front door, running down the steps with Poptart in hand.
I leaned over and popped open the passenger side door, and slid back in my seat as she climbed in. While she wrestled with her bag, finally piling it at her feet, I had a chance to take her in; the tangled hair thrown into a loose ponytail, the dark circles that surrounded her eyes, the wrinkled clothes that hinted to the fact that she dressed in haste.
"Rough night?" I questioned, not able to hide my amusement at her frazzled state.
"Couldn't sleep," she snapped, cutting her eyes at me then rolling them back to the front.
She hates me...
My hand grasped the gear shift and pulled it into reverse and squealed out of the driveway.
Before I knew it, we were pulling into school. I turned in to park beside Alice and couldn't help but notice Jasper, sitting in the passenger seat with his lips on her neck and hand up her shirt. I quickly turned away with disgust, and looked over at Bella. She was staring at them wistfully with her bag clutched to her chest.
Just as I was about to make a snide comment about them, Bella looked over at me and placed her hand on the door handle. "I'm really sorry that you're in the middle of all this. Don't worry, you won't have to do anything like that...to me." Her eyes went to the tangled bodies that sat in the car next to us, before she threw the door open and darted out.
I sat there, trying to grasp what she had said, panicking at the sight of her walking away.
What the hell was she talking about? That was the whole point of me putting myself "in the middle of all this", getting to do things "like that"!
"God, I'm such a fuck up!" I seethed, violently slamming my head down on the steering wheel.
That's enough!
I raised my head and shot out of the car. With determination in my step, I took three long strides, stopping directly in front of Bella. She froze wide-eyed, taking a step back, her legs being met by the side of Alice's car. I reached for her, wrapping one arm around her waist, and raised my other hand to tangle in the back of her hair. With rough aggression, my lips crashed into hers, as I laid her back against the hood.
Everything went black; losing myself in the feel of her skin, the taste of her breath, the sound of her gasps.
Why didn't I just do this last night, just give myself over to the pleasure that only Bella could give?
As her hands moved up to my hair, my hand moved down to her ass. My fingers pressed into the soft flesh of her cheek, kneading and pulling at her skin. Finally I let my hips move into hers, not pausing this time, but pressing them firmly and with purpose.
It was at the moment that I was aware of the eyes on us, and heard someone in the background exclaim, "Now that's what I call a kiss!"