So... the end of this chapter may or may not have made me tear up when I was writing it. It's not bad tearing up, it was 'holy crap I think what I'm writing is actually beautiful and I can't wait for everyone else to read it'. Also, Cas kind of took over this chapter. I was originally going to have him be sad when he found out about Rosie but then he decided that he wanted to be a little stronger than that so he gets to be mad at Dean for a little while. I really love this chapter! Enjoy guys!

BTW you get some more Cas POV - that's the bit that made me teary!

Dean had no idea just how much he was going to regret his decision to go to Lisa's party until Monday lunchtime as he was escorting Cas to the cafeteria. Dean was babbling as usual, Cas's eyes glued to his face. He was like this a lot now, absolutely rapt by whatever Dean said, even if it was completely stupid. They turned down a hall and Dean was grinning as he just elicited a tiny giggle from Cas when he heard someone call his name. He turned his head to see the girl he'd woken up with on Friday morning across the hall looking at him with a tentative smile.

"Hi," she said.

"Um... hi," Dean murmured, rubbing the back of his neck. The girl approached him and Dean felt Cas move closer to him, wary of this stranger. "I'm-"

"Rosie," the girl interrupted. Dean blushed involuntarily. "Yeah, figured you were too drunk to remember. However, I would have preferred to remind you of my name when I woke up next to you instead of waking to an empty bed."

Dean winced. "Sorry... there was an emergency." Dean glanced back at Cas who, though limping a little, declined crutches or time off school to rest his ankle. It seemed to be healing well so Michael had relented and allowed him to come today without a walking aid.

Rosie's eyes lit on Cas and she smiled.

"Is this the boy Bela was telling me about? Um... Ca... something?"

"Castiel," Dean nodded. "Cas is autistic and he hurt his ankle. He doesn't like hospitals so I looked at it for him."

"Oh, Dean, that's so sweet," Rosie cooed. "Hi, Castiel, my name is Rosie."

Cas peeked out from behind Dean, eyes narrowed a little. Dean suppressed a smile.

"Don't talk down to him, he hates it," he informed her. "He's autistic, not stupid. In fact, he's smarter than I am, which while not saying much-"

"Don't be silly, you're smart. You definitely proved yourself very... educated on Halloween," Rosie said, a sultry smile curving on her lips. Dean remembered nipping at those with some frequency.

Dean felt Cas take his hand suddenly and looked at him to find him glaring darkly at Rosie. He squeezed back until Cas looked at him.

"Are you okay?" he asked. Castiel shook his head and tugged Dean's hand in the direction of the cafeteria. Dean nodded and looked back at Rosie to find her eyes on their linked hands. "Sorry, he likes his routine. Time for lunch."

Rosie looked up at him. "Oh, sure. Are you going to sit with us?"

Dean took 'us' to mean his old group. "Nah. I sit with Cas, my brother, and my other friends. But, I'll see you around?"

Dean started walking around Rosie and she spun around.

"I'm free Friday."

Dean frowned, biting his lip. He'd just intended it as a one night stand... but he couldn't really remember it. Would it hurt for a repeat performance?

"I'll get back to you," he promised. Rosie smiled warmly and went back to her locker. Cas was looking over his shoulder, his expression still one filled with distrust and irritation.

Dean realised they were still holding hands and gently disconnected them, guilt stabbing his gut when Cas looked hurt.

"What's with you today, buddy?" Dean wondered. The younger boy made a small huffing sound and looked down at his shoes. "Fine, don't explain yourself."

When they arrived at their usual table, Cas shocked not only Dean but the rest of their group by seating himself between Anna and Jo – who he usually avoided, slightly intimidated by her rough attitude.

"Cassie?" Anna questioned softly.

"What did you do?" Sam asked, looking at Dean with surprise.

"Hey! Why does this mean I did anything? Maybe he's just in a bad mood," Dean protested. "Right, Cas? We're cool." Cas shot him a dark look before he began his usual process of unpacking his lunch, refusing to give Dean another glance even when he tried to get his attention. Everyone else exchanged worried looks.

"No, you did something," Ash disagreed. "Little buddy just gave you the silent 'fuck you'."

"Yeah, well, fuck you," Dean shot back. "I've got the next Harry Potter with me, Cas. You want to head somewhere quiet and read?"

No response.

"You want to pick the music in the car this afternoon?"

Nothing.

"You want to skip out on afternoon tea with Michael and Lucifer and I'll teach you to drive?"

And still not a look.

"Dean," Jo said softly, forcing Dean to look away from Castiel whose hands had begun to tremble slightly. "Let him be."

Dean obeyed and looked around over his shoulder at his old table to find Rosie watching him. She raised her hand and waved, a warm smile on her face. Dean raised his hand briefly before turning to pester Gabriel about copying his homework. Cas was looking at him now, or rather, glaring at him again.

Well, two out of two. Dean suspected Cas did not like Rosie.

That afternoon Michael and Lucifer had requested Dean joined them and Castiel for afternoon tea at a cafe in town to discuss that 'something' Michael mentioned on Friday. Cas was still pissed at Dean and refused to accompany them so it ended up being Dean on his own with the twins, wondering if he was about to get grilled by Lucifer who was casting him suspicious glances as they gave their orders to the waitress.

"So-"

"We can get to that later," Michael interrupted. "Dean, these are for you."

He produced a stack of glossy brochures and placed them on the table in front of Dean. The one on top read Pennsylvania State University. Dean flicked through the stack with a frown and sinking feeling in his chest.

"Why...?" He trailed off, unsure how to phrase the many things he wanted to know.

"What you said didn't sit well with us," Michael explained.

"The way you said it actually," Lucifer corrected. "You insinuated that you weren't good enough for college and we didn't like that."

Dean looked away from the pages of the first brochure to meet two pairs of eyes conveying identical expressions of support and genuine affection.

"Dean, if you chose not to go to college simply because you knew it wasn't right for you that would be one thing, but to choose not to go because for some reason you don't believe you're good enough... that's a terrible waste," Michael continued. "Sam told us that your dad often puts you down in that regard. I would hope it's without meaning to but your brother seems to think that both you and your father believe you're worth nothing more than staying in Lawrence and becoming a mechanic. Don't get me wrong, I find nothing wrong with any form of honest work, but if it's not what you want, if there's something you want to do with your life, if you want to get out of Lawrence... this is a way to do all of that."

"But... but my SATs..."

"Were not a disaster according to your brother. Regardless, not all colleges admit students based on their SATs and more still do not admit based on SATs alone even if they do take the score into consideration," Lucifer explained. "All of these... you have a considerable chance of being accepted. Here, look at this."

Lucifer produced a second stack, this time of applications.

"You... you guys bought applications for me?" Dean asked. "What if I decided not to?"

"They aren't that expensive... and Lucifer and I are able to access the considerable inheritance left to us by our grandmother," Michael smiled. Dean raised an eyebrow. "She wrote our mother – her only child – out of her will when she tried to kill Castiel, all her money was left to her grandchildren. We have placed most of it into college funds for our siblings but our own portions we use as we see fit. Now, colleges, these applications are for most of those. You choose which ones you would like to fill out."

Dean took the pile and shook his head slowly, trying to wrap his mind around that overload.

"You want me to go to college?" he asked quietly. Lucifer went to answer but the waitress brought out their orders and they were forced to clear the table and wait for her to leave before continuing their conversation.

Dean felt a little weird so he sipped quietly at his soda while Lucifer spoke.

"Not exactly. We want you to want to go. We don't like the idea of you not living up to your potential, and trust us, you have tonnes."

"But... I can't afford to go... all the money saved up is for Sam," Dean murmured.

"There are all kinds of scholarships you can apply for and do not think we would be unwilling to assist you any way we could," Michael said softly. Dean opened his mouth to protest but Michael raised his hand, a hard look on his face. "Don't argue Dean. All the reasons you're giving me to not go are just telling me even more that you actually want to but have convinced yourself that for these reasons you shouldn't and therefore don't need to. Now, answer me honestly, what is it that you want to do with your life?"

Dean frowned and looked down at the slice of pie on his plate, poking at it with his fork as he thought. He had never, ever, really considered the possibility that he could go to college. Nobody had ever believed in him enough or told him that he could do it. Why did Michael and Lucifer seem to think he was so special? He wanted to tell him that they should just give up on him but knew they wouldn't listen.

It seemed arguing wasn't going to get him anywhere so he turned his thoughts to Michael's question. What did he want to do? He loved cars and he would enjoy being a mechanic, restoring old cars but that wasn't something he liked the idea of doing all the time. Restoring old cars was something he thought could be a great hobby one day when his life was settled and he had a good job providing him with a steady income – all of which could be achieved easily if he had a college degree to show employers. But... he hadn't even thought of what he wanted to do if he had one.

Dean's thoughts went to Cas and to studying the psychology texts with Rachel. He'd actually enjoyed that. And not just that autism ones. He'd flicked through the chapters on bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety. Psychology was fascinating. Then Dean thought about his favourite class at school: history. He loved learning about old wars and the interesting developments that lead to the world today. He used to love coming home and telling Sam all the interesting factoids he'd learnt flipping through the textbook and Sam had always listened avidly even though Dean was sure he already knew most of them. That had stopped when Dean realised Sam was smarter than him but he never stopped being fascinated by the facts. The difference was that now he shared them with Cas sometimes when he was just chatting at him.

Dean's mind turned then to reading Harry Potter to Cas even though he knew the kid was smarter than him and could definitely read them on his own. But it was their thing and it was special. The image changed in his mind to Dean reading with some faceless, nameless kid he didn't know.

He smiled.

"I think I'd like to be a teacher." The words surprised him but obviously not the brothers who were both smiling and nodding when he looked up at them.

"What kind?" Lucifer questioned.

"I dunno... kids maybe. Or teenagers. Special needs kids?" Dean wondered. "I could do a double major and get a psych degree so that I can help them."

"That sounds wonderful," Michael smiled. "So, I suggest you go through those and find out which schools have a program that would suit what you want to do."

Dean glanced down at the stack of glossy brochures and their accompanying applications. It felt daunting but for the first time it didn't seem unrealistic to think he could make it into one of those schools and come out with a degree so that he could get a job he loved and wanted instead of one he felt he had to do regardless of whether he enjoyed it or not.

With a strange feeling of lightness, like an unnoticed weight had been taken away, Dean dug into his pie and Lucifer finally turned the conversation to why Cas was ignoring Dean and, embarrassed, Dean didn't have an explanation for him.

"Well, when did he start acting like that?" Michael wondered.

"This afternoon. He met the girl... from Friday," Dean mumbled. "I don't think he likes me talking to her."

Michael's eyebrows rose in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"She tried to talk to him and he just glared at her and made me take him to the cafeteria. Then he wouldn't talk to me afterwards," Dean shrugged.

"He's jealous," Lucifer nodded.

"You can't know that," Michael disagreed. "Castiel's ability to form accurate opinions of someone is something we don't understand. He probably saw something about her Dean can't."

"No, pretty sure he's acting like anybody else when it comes to sharing their favourite thing," Lucifer grinned. "Cassie doesn't want to share Dean with some pretty girl."

Dean laughed and the brothers looked at him. "Seriously Luci? I'm with Michael. She did speak to him as though he was a three year old. Maybe that's why he doesn't like her."

"True. He used to get irritated with us when we did that before we knew how smart he is," Michael agreed.

"How smart is he?"

"Well, last year his psychologist conducted an IQ test that placed him in the genius bracket. One hundred and seventy three, I recall. We asked him to do it when we discovered his penchant for physics and mathematics." Michael's smile betrayed the pride he was attempting to hide. "After that we quickly realised why he would give us the cold shoulder when we 'baby talked' him, as Gabriel insisted we were doing."

"There you go," Dean said. "He doesn't like her because she acted as if he was dumb. Jealous? You get some strange ideas."

Lucifer looked between them and shrugged. "Agree to disagree. I'm positive he has the ability, like every other human being, to be jealous when somebody else is getting the attention they usually do."

Dean rolled his eyes and waved to the waitress to request another slice of pie and some coffee while Michael turned the discussion to his latest paper and wondering which topic he should use for it.

Anna and Sam were playing chess while Castiel sat on a cushion next to the coffee table to watch. He was absolutely fascinated by the game. None of his siblings had taught him to play but he was quickly picking up on the rules. Sam was playing with the black pieces. He'd said it was to give Anna an advantage.

Castiel wondered if he was regretting that now. Sam was grimacing down at the only four black pieces left on the board among the eight white ones that belonged to Anna. Perhaps somebody should have warned Sam that Anna was very good at chess. Gabriel said she played 'sneaky' – he wasn't sure what that meant but none of his brothers liked to play with her because she usually beat them.

Now she was beating Sam.

Castiel studied the positions of the pieces and noticed a pattern in Anna's. Sam was about to move the wrong piece and Castiel put his hand out to stop him. Sam drew back before he touched Castiel, looking at him in surprise. Castiel took Sam piece shaped like a horse's head – a knight – and placed it in a better position before reaching over to flick Anna's king over.

"What...?" Anna stared down at the board in surprise. "Cassie..."

"Wow... That looks like checkmate to me, Cas, thanks!" Sam said, grinning at him. Castiel smiled back, enjoying how similar Sam's smile was to Dean's.

Dean.

Castiel's heart ached and he looked around the corner to the front door but couldn't see Michael's car outside so they weren't back yet. Castiel felt bad for the way he had acted towards Dean. He hadn't meant to upset him but... he had felt sick when the girl with the long red hair had smiled at Dean. Dean had smiled back at her. She had wanted to spend time with him alone. That's what people did when they were in love. If Dean started to love that girl then he wouldn't have as much time for Castiel.

Castiel didn't want Dean to stop spending time with him. They still had so much of the Harry Potter books to go and then Castiel wanted to read some of his favourite books with Dean. They couldn't do that if somebody else took up all his time.

What was special about that girl anyway?

Her hair was pretty but...

Castiel looked at Anna. His sister had long red hair too and Dean didn't seem to want to spend time alone with her.

And that girl sat with the boys who scared Castiel. Why would Dean want to spend time with her? She could be on their side.

Anna and Sam were now squabbling over whether the win counted since Castiel had helped. He looked between them and realised by their smiles that they were just having fun and not actually fighting. That was good.

Castiel knelt up so he could rearrange the board while they continued to disagree when he heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. He got up and leant around the doorway to watch the front door. Sure enough Dean and his brothers came inside, talking about something. Dean had the college books Castiel had gone to get with Michael and Lucifer.

He studied Dean closely. He didn't look upset so it mustn't have been a bad talk. Last time the talk about college had made him look unhappy so Castiel hadn't wanted Michael to bring it up again but maybe this time it is had been okay. Dean set the pile down with his bag next to Sam's stuff and looked up straight at Castiel.

He raised his hand, looking worried and Castiel felt a squeeze in his heart.

He'd made Dean sad.

Castiel walked out from the living room towards Dean, ignoring the slight pain in his ankle and stopped in front of him. Dean held out his hand in invitation and Castiel looked at it briefly, knowing that if he took it Dean wouldn't be sad anymore. But there was something else people did to make others stop being sad and Castiel wanted to try it. His hands trembled a little as he looked up at Dean's face, taking in his green eyes.

He looked worried still but was smiling. That smile wasn't the right one so Castiel knew that despite how scared the idea made him, it was the right one.

He quickly wrapped his arms around Dean's waist and pressed against him, shutting his eyes, waiting for the black and the pain in his lungs to grab him like it always did when someone touched him. He was shaking and he knew Dean could feel it.

The gasps from all around him made him tremble harder and the tightness started to spread through his chest as the black came to punish him.

But then two very warm arms came around him and pulled him closer to the heat radiating from Dean's body and the black retreated quicker than it had crept up, scared of the brilliant warmth that Dean was wrapping him in. Castiel pressed his face against Dean's chest and tightened his hold. The black was gone. It wasn't anywhere and Dean's warmth was making the pain go too. It couldn't touch him when Dean was wrapped around him. When Dean's light and warmth was there the black and the pain couldn't be.

"Holy shit, Mikey are you crying?"

"No, he's not."

"Shut up, Gabriel!"

"Crap... has he ever hugged anyone before?"

"Never. I need a minute. Sorry."

"My twin is a secretly a girl."

"You said he wasn't crying."

"And Anna told you to shut up."

Castiel shut the other voices out and just hid inside the new shell Dean had carved for him. This one wasn't a deep as his old shell and it wasn't dark, quiet and lonely. This one was vibrant and colourful, it was filled with Dean's light and warmth, it was a happy shell. It was closer to everyone else. This shell didn't just tamp down the fear like his old one did – hiding him from it until he was ready to face it again – no, this shell destroyed the fear, it didn't let it exist. It helped Castiel feel lighter so that when he decided the leave this shell, it wouldn't be just from bad to worse, it would be from somewhere good to somewhere that was actually manageable.

One more voice spoke and this one Castiel let in, he let the tone fill him up and chase away more of the black that was hidden inside him.

"Thanks, Cas."

No, thank you, Dean.