I'm sorry! I'm so, so, so sorry! Things got crazy and I got writer's block and then insomnia and then I was sick all the time... yeah, it wasn't good. But I'm back in normal sleeping patterns now and I've got my workload under control. 7 more weeks and I'm finished my first year of uni! I'm so excited for a proper break, I plan on spending it all reading fanfiction.

Anywho, I have exciting news! I got a job as an autism therapist! How amazing is that? I'm going to be working with two boys, 9 and 6, who are high-functioning. I'm meeting them on Wednesday so I went toy shopping today and found all this cool stuff that'll hopefully make them think I'm interesting enough to have as a therapist. I'm so, so happy! I can't wait to meet them and get started.

This chapter is a little dark. Warnings for alcohol used as a coping mechanism by an under-age boy. There's some sweet stuff too though. Especially Cas. I love him in this chapter. And some more light Sabriel. :) Enjoy!

Sam sat on Dean's bed frowning at him unhappily.

"If you keep looking at me like that you'll find an unpleasant surprise in your bed when you least expect it," Dean warned as he cast a glance in his younger brother's direction.

"This is a bad idea," Sam said. Dean had lost count of the number of times those words had come out of his brother's mouth since that morning. "Do you want Cas to ignore you again?"

"I'm telling you Sammy, you're crazy," Dean replied. "Cas does not have a crush on me."

"Then why exactly does he not like Rosie?"

"I don't know."

"Then why couldn't I be right?"

"You're not."

"You don't have a better explanation. Don't go on the date, Dean. Stand her up and then she'll ignore you."

"Wow, you really are a bitch."

"Shut up, jerk."

Dean smiled and shut his wardrobe door. He turned to face Sam who still looked disapproving.

"You actually want me to be a jerk and stand some poor girl up?" Dean asked incredulously. "Mr Morals wants me to do that?"

"I don't want you to upset Cas," Sam corrected. "Please Dean."

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Tell me the truth then, do you like this girl or do you just want to fuck her again?"

"Sam!" Dean stared at him. "Swearing?"

"Answer the question. Do. You. Like. Her?" Sam was glaring at him heavily and Dean hesitated. Would Sam actually be mad at him for going on this date? He did need both of the two most important people in his life not speaking to him.

"Not really."

"Then don't go."

Dean opened his mouth and then checked his watch. He looked up at Sam's pleading eyes.

"I gotta go," he sighed and walked out of his room before he could see the disappointment darken his little brother's eyes. He passed by the living room and paused when he saw his dad standing by the mantle, staring at their family pictures.

"You going out?" John asked, noticing Dean standing by the door.

"Yeah. I have a date. I shouldn't be out late."

John just nodded and Dean watched him go back to staring at the photographs. He could already tell Monday was going to be a tough one this year. It should have been their twentieth anniversary soon, Dad was going to be difficult to look after.

Dean's eyes drifted down to the photo of Mary holding Dean in her lap while they swung gently on one of the swings at the park up the road. His own heart ached a little and he suddenly considered Sam's words more seriously.

No. No, he didn't need to think about this until later. Today he was going out to enjoy a date that might end in fantastic sex which would take his mind off everything.

Or... not so much.

It turned out, now that Dean had been reminded, he couldn't stop thinking about what Monday meant. And he couldn't stop thinking about the hurt look on Cas's face when he'd met Rosie.

So then he couldn't stop thinking about Cas hugging him and how perfectly the younger boy fit into his arms and against his side.

"Dean! Are you even listening?"

"Huh?"

Dean looked up and Rosie was staring at him with a dark look on her face. She looked really pissed. Maybe he shouldn't have come on this date after all.

"What?" The anger changed to hurt and Dean's eyes widened.

"Did I say that out loud?" he asked.

"You didn't want to go on this date?" Rosie asked in a quiet, hurt voice.

"Uh... I did," Dean said. "It's just... I have a lot on my mind right now."

Rosie tilted her head. "Cas? How did the appointment go?"

Dean was taken-aback. "It was fine. That wasn't what I was thinking about. I was actually thinking about... some personal stuff." He picked up one of his fries and broke it in half before adding. "And how Cas is gonna hate me when I see him next."

Rosie frowned. "Why?"

"Because I'm here."

She looked even more confused. "Dean, I don't... I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Cas doesn't like you and last time I spoke to you he ignored me. I don't really want him to ignore me again." Dean turned to look out the window of the cafe they were in and found himself wondering what Cas was doing. It had to be better than this.

Rosie was speaking again and Dean tuned her out.

"Oh my god, you're not listening again!" Rosie smacked her hand on the table and Dean slid his gaze to the side so he could see her without turning his head. It was a shame, this wasn't going to end in sex. Now he'd have nothing to really take his mind off what Monday meant.

"I'm just going to go." Rosie threw down some money to cover her lunch and got up. Dean didn't even move.

"See you," he said.

"No, you won't." Rosie paused and looked at him, a mix of anger and hurt. "I told you I really liked you. I meant it, you know."

Dean shrugged one shoulder. "You're better off not."

Rosie opened her mouth, thought better of responding, and stormed out. Dean looked down at his food. He'd barely touched it so he just paid for his lunch and the tip and got up. He wanted company but going to see Cas in this frame of mind was a bad idea. Also he couldn't go the Roadhouse or Bobby's because they'd know. He didn't want to go home and see Sam or Dad so he just drove around aimlessly, getting lost deeper and deeper in the depression that slithered into his mind around this time every year and wouldn't dissipate for quite a while.

Still, he had one more day to steel himself for what was to come.

Monday morning came to present with it an absent spot in the school parking lot where Dean parked every day. Cas stayed by the tree next to the space until the warning bell sounded. When it finished ringing his shoulders slumped and he turned to Gabriel and Anna to walk into the school with them.

"Maybe he's sick," Anna suggested lightly. "Has he texted you Gabriel?"

Gabriel tore his eyes from watching Cas's sad face and withdrew his phone to check.

"Nope. Anna's right though, bro, he's probably just sick or running late. You'll see him soon," Gabriel promised.

Gabriel felt worse at lunch when his words turned out to be false and Dean was nowhere to be seen. Cas just looked so dejected. Jo and Anna tried their best to distract him. Ash even tried juggling all the group's apples but just ended up bruising all of them so that none of them wanted to eat the fruit any longer.

Gabriel turned to Sam while Jo was being melodramatic about telling her brother off in the hopes that it would cheer Cas up.

"Where's your bro?" Gabriel asked softly. Sam barely glanced at him chewing his bottom lip. Gabriel frowned. Normally the kid jumped at the chance to talk to him about anything because of his crush which was becoming more and more adorable each day. And Sam himself was seeming more adorable-

Cut it out Gabriel or Dean'll have your balls, Gabriel chastised himself.

"At home..." Sam looked around before leaning closer to Gabriel. "It's the anniversary of our mum's death so he's at home with our drunk Dad and probably shitfaced himself."

Gabriel blinked in shock. "Where-"

"I stay with Jo and her family," Sam said quickly. "Dean doesn't like me around when Dad's drunk... or himself. Dad doesn't get drunk at all except today. The rest of the time he's just not around. Dean's the one who takes care of me but he won't let me do the same for him."

Sam's pale blue eyes were shiny with a few tears. Gabriel wrapped his arm around Sam and tugged him close.

"Big brothers don't like it when their little brothers need to take care of them," Gabriel said softly. "Believe me, I've tried it with Michael and he practically throws me out of his room."

Sam grimaced. "Dean's the same."

"Huh, maybe that's why they get on."

Sam sort of smiled so Gabriel counted it as a win, tugging him closer. He looked across the table at Cas who'd been paying attention to them and was watching them with wide eyes.

"He's okay, Cas," Sam promised softly. "Just... not in good state to be here right now. You'll see him in a couple of days."

Cas's eyes grew wider and he shook his head unhappily.

"Sorry, bro," Gabriel said before returning his attention to Sam.

Once John had passed out Dean lifted the bottle of Jack's from his chest and threw a blanket over him. The one blessing about this routine was that he never got out of bed. He drank himself into oblivion without leaving the comfort of his bedroom.

Dean cleared away the empty bottles and carted the full ones downstairs. He dropped it all beside the couch when he caught sight of the photos and sat down, staring at them.

After thirteen years he just felt... numb.

Considering he was only four at the time he could still remember the hospital pretty well. The smell. He could remember seeing how sick she looked. How thin she got. Her beautiful hair was almost all gone by the end.

John wouldn't let Dean see her anymore when she looked like that. But Dean remember anyway.

And it... it had destroyed something inside him. He could never get rid of that image.

And he hated the hospital. He hated the doctors. None of it helped her and she was miserable at the end. She didn't want to be there where they poked and prodded her time and again, she wanted to be home where she comfortable and loved.

And then she was gone.

Dean had held Sammy in his arms at the funeral. Watched them lower her into the ground. He'd just held Sam tightly in his arms and promised to look after him like he couldn't look after Mum.

And after all this time he felt hollow, empty. Missing something crucial.

Dean raised the open bottle of whiskey to his lips and began to drink, faster than was healthy, relishing the burn in his throat and the warmth spreading from his belly throughout his body the longer he drank.

Family was everything to a Winchester and after Mary died... theirs just fell apart. John was never around and Dean had to look after Sammy. They had Bobby. And Ellen. And Jo and Ash. But in reality it was only Dean and Sam.

Just them.

Nobody but them.

Castiel stepped softly into the kitchen and watched Michael. Michael was cooking so Castiel considered leaving and finding Lucifer – but Michael was better for what he needed. Michael was very good at taking care of people without making them feel bad. Lucifer was good at it too but Michael was better.

He waited a few moments and just as he was about to leave Michael glanced around, a smile appearing on his face when he spotted Castiel.

"Hey you," he said. He did something to the pot of food before turning fully, wiping his hands and coming over. "Something wrong?"

Castiel considered Michael carefully. He needed Michael to take him to Dean but how was he supposed to tell him that?

"Dinner's cooking if that's what's on your mind," Michael said ushering Castiel into the dining room. "Sorry it's late but I got held up at work."

Castiel shrugged one shoulder.

"Okay... so... what is it then?" Michael asked as he sat. Castiel looked around before going to the key bowl and grabbing Michael's keys. Michael raised his eyebrows as Castiel put them in front of him. "Okay...?"

Castiel stared at Michael intently. He would understand. He always knew what Castiel needed. Michael picked up his keys and studied Castiel closely. Castiel was wearing Dean's jacket because it smelled like him. He needed to see him. Michael would know.

"Gabriel!" Michael turned in his chair and looked behind him, calling out for their brother. Gabriel appeared looking confused.

"Yeah, bro?"

"Is something the matter with Dean?" Michael wondered. Castiel felt the tightness leave his shoulders. Michael had understood.

Gabriel looked sad and told Michael what Sam had told them today. Michael looked sad and then alarmed.

"Where's Sam tonight?" he demanded.

"With Jo and Ash and their mum," Gabriel explained. "Dean doesn't let him stay home."

Michael looked sad again. Castiel shifted impatiently. Was this all necessary? He wanted to see Dean. They were both looking at Castiel now and Michael turned back to Gabriel, looking torn.

"I should check on Dean," he said. "But... I can't take Castiel."

Castiel's jaw dropped. Michael couldn't do that. He rushed around to stand at Michael's side and wavered for a moment before taking hold of his arm, clamping down on the usual wave of fear. Michael looked down at him.

"Castiel, I'm sorry but... we don't know what it might be like. People are... they're different when they've been drinking. Dean might be angry. He might hurt you. He'd never forgive himself and... neither would you."

Castiel frowned. Dean wouldn't hurt him. Never.

"Cassie, I know you don't remember the day Mum..." Gabriel and Michael both flinched. "But she was drinking."

Castiel did remember sometimes when he was sleeping. The doctors said his brain was protecting him. But it didn't matter. Dean's touch was safe. Dean was safe. He would never, ever hurt him. He always took care of him. Now it was Castiel's turn. Dean needed him.

There was silence and Michael turned to Gabriel. Gabriel shrugged helplessly.

"When does he ask for things?" he said simply and went into the kitchen to check the food while Michael sighed. Castiel recognised his sign of defeat.

"Just remember... he won't be the same," Michael warned again, standing up. Castiel hurried to follow him out to the car, getting into his seat in the back even though there was nobody else in the car.

Castiel watched the houses go past as they drove towards Dean and Sam's house. It was getting dark. Castiel didn't like the months when it started to get dark too quickly. Bad things lived in the dark. But this was okay. And soon he would see Dean and then nothing would be able to hurt him.

They arrived at the house and Castiel gazed up at it as they walked up the garden path. It was white and big and very nice. Not as big as their house but still big.

Michael rang the doorbell and waited but there was no response.

Castiel reached up and pressed the same button. Michael looked down at him with a smile.

"I wonder if they keep a spare key around," he said and Castiel watched with bemusement as Michael went about checking in and under the potted plants on the veranda. He emerged from a large pot with a triumphant sound and showed Castiel a key. He blinked in surprise. Why would somebody keep a key in a place like that?

Michael opened the door and stepped inside. Castiel kept behind him and peered into the house anxiously. Where was Dean?

"Dean?" Michael called out. "Dean, it's Michael and Castiel!"

There was the sound of footsteps and a loud thud followed by swearing. Castiel's heart stuttered at Dean's voice and a light flicked on further into the house. Dean was sagged against the doorway near to them, staring at them through squinted eyes.

Castiel stared at him intently, waiting for Dean to smile like he always did. Instead he just looked sad.

"Dean, where's your father?" Michael asked, stepping forward warily. Dean shrugged.

"Passed out upstairs," he mumbled.

"Dean, I think you need to give me that." Michael held his hand out and Castiel looked down to the bottle of amber liquid in Dean's hand. "You've had enough and trust me, alcohol makes it seem better now but you'll feel worse later."

"You think I don't know that?" Dean snapped angrily and Castiel flinched backwards to press against the door. Dean didn't raise his voice at them.

"Dean," Michael said gently. "You're scaring Castiel."

Dean's eyes finally widened and he looked towards the door. "Why did you bring him?"

"He is the one who wanted to come. He wanted to make sure you were alright. Now I suggest you let him do so. The bottle?"

Dean reluctantly relinquished the bottle and Michael stepped passed him into the room. Castiel could hear glass clinking and knew his brother was collecting more bottles. Dean sagged against the doorway again and looked at Castiel.

"You shouldn't be here, Cas," he said quietly, voice sad. Castiel stepped slowly over to him, ducking down to peer at Dean's face. There were tears running down his cheeks. "Don't want you to see me like this."

Castiel took Dean's hands in his and squeezed them like Dean had when he took him to see the doctor. Dean met his eyes but nothing had changed, in fact Castiel thought he looked sadder.

Michael returned then with a glass of water and two small white pills.

"Your kitchen it very well organised," Michael said holding out his offering.

"Sammy," Dean replied taking the pills and drinking all the water.

"You are going to have an awful hangover so I recommend you get some sleep," Michael said, taking Dean by the arm and guiding him into the room. Castiel followed, eyes drifting over to the photographs under the windows. There was a pretty woman in them that he'd never met.

Michael was fussing over Dean down, getting him to lie down and tucking a blanket over him.

"Will you throw up?" he asked.

"Probably."

"I'll find you a bucket."

"There should be one in the laundry. By the way, since I know you won't leave, guest room's third door up the hall," Dean mumbled, turning his face into the pillow.

They were staying?

Michael left and returned with a bucket which he placed on the floor by Dean's head and another glass of water which went on the coffee table.

"I want you to drink lots of water," he ordered. "Heavy liquor makes you dehydrated."

"I know that mother," Dean scowled then winced. Michael sighed sadly and ran a hand through Dean's hair the way he did to Gabriel and Anna when they were younger. Castiel moved closer and Michael smiled at him.

"I suppose you'll be staying down here?" he wondered. Castiel nodded. "Dean, I know you're drunk and going to throw up later but neither of us have eaten so I'm going to go get some food... what would you like for when you wake up?"

"Greasy food."

Michael smiled. "I won't be long."

He left the house and Castiel looked around worriedly. What if something happened to Dean? He wouldn't be able to help him without Michael. What would he do?

"Hey, stop thinking so loud, you're hurting my head."

Castiel jumped and turned to Dean to find him almost-smiling.

"Come 'ere, you." His eyes were gentle and Castiel inched closer before dropping to his knees beside the lounge. "No, here." He patted the lounge and Castiel hesitated. There wasn't much space... he would be pressed very close to Dean. He shook his head rapidly and Dean closed his eyes. "'kay then..." Instead he reached a hand down and Castiel smiled, taking it in his, this he could do.

"Was wrong," Dean said. Castiel frowned. Wrong? "Do... I do... you're my family too..."

Castiel smiled and squeezed Dean's hand in response. Of course they were family. Michael and Lucifer had said so. And Castiel knew that family looked after each other so now he had to look after Dean. He patted Dean's hand gently and the older boy smiled, drifting closer to sleep.

He watched Dean closely until Michael returned. They ate quietly and Michael crept upstairs to check on Dean's father before coming back down. Dean was getting restless and Castiel leant closer, worried. Michael came over and gently ran his fingers through Dean's hair and he calmed.

Castiel smiled at Michael who sat down next to him.

"He's going to be a mess for a little while," Michael said softly and Castile nodded slowly. "He might not be the same. You understand that right? That Dean might not be the same for a little while at least?"

He frowned. Even if Dean was sad he'd still be Dean.

Michael sighed. "It's okay. We'll take care of him."

Castiel pulled Dean's hand to his face and pressed it against his cheek.

Dean woke up to a throbbing pain in his temple and a warm weight settled beside him. He opened his eyes slowly, wondering if he need to bolt to the bathroom to throw up but knowing he couldn't when he spotted the mussed head of dark hair nestled against his chest and the arms wrapped around him.

Huh...

Cas was sleeping next to him.

If he didn't have such a throbbing headache he'd probably be filled with intense affection and amazement but as it was he was just filled with intense nausea.

He could smell something amazing cooking and he heard Michael's voice speaking softly, probably on the phone to Lucifer. Dean wanted to get up and, well, he wasn't sure whether he wanted to throw up or eat but he didn't want to wake Cas. He looked so peaceful and content huddled under the blanket, his body fitting snugly against Dean's.

Dean lifted his hand and ran it through Cas's hair. He stirred immediately and blinked blearily up at Dean, expression adorably confused for a moment.

"I need to get up," Dean murmured apologetically. Castiel yawned and extricated himself from Dean, stumbling away from the lounge and breathing deeply. Dean looked at him closely. "You okay?"

Castiel didn't respond for a moment but then he moved back close to Dean, glancing around the room. Oh, he was probably a little disoriented, this had to be a blow to his routine, waking up in a different house.

"Michael's cooking breakfast, why don't you go help? I'll be out in a minute," Dean said. He got up carefully before having to run into the bathroom. No matter how slowly he tried to get up, he was always sick when he got drunk on whiskey. From the sounds coming from upstairs, he wasn't the only one hungover. John was awake, stumbling around.

Dean walked slowly into the kitchen and found Michael setting plates of eggs and toast on the table as well as strong, black coffee.

"Lucifer talked me through hangover eggs," Michael said. "You doing better?"

Dean smiled at the phrasing and sat next to Cas. He put his hand on the table, palm up and wiggled his fingers until Cas got the hint and took his hand.

"I am now," he said. He looked away from their hands and across at Michael who was looking at him, concern evident in everything about his posture and expression. Dean just looked at him and Michael nodded, understanding his unspoken thanks.

John joined them, pleased to meet Michael and Cas. Cas seemed intimidated by him but it was okay because Dean distracted him – he needed the distraction too – and he just marvelled. John was almost smiling as he and Michael discussed every kind of topic imaginable.

Michael kept telling Dean he didn't know what he would have done if Dean hadn't come into his family's lives. Well, now Dean was wondering what he would have done if Cas and his family hadn't come into Dean's.

Michael was the big brother Dean had always needed. After that day there was a new understanding between them and Michael never let Dean and Sam skip out on dinner with them unless they were having dinner with Ellen or Bobby or their dad was home. Dean and Sam had a home with the Novaks, unspoken, but there, and he realised he wouldn't have to turn to darker thoughts like that without support again.

Maybe he'd spent thirteen years without a solid family but he sure as hell had one now.

Next chapter we have Thanksgiving, the prodigal son returning, Uncle Inias's family and Bobby gets to meet Michael and Lucifer.