March 2010
Time had disappeared, along with the snow, and Kate Beckett, for one, was glad that spring was showing its face. The days were a little easier to handle as they got a little longer. Leaving the precinct when it was still light out made even the toughest cases more manageable and the warmer weather meant she could forgo her heavier jackets most days. The lighter leather ones were much more conducive to riding to and from the precinct on her bike, and it didn't hurt that she knew exactly how much Castle liked her in them either.
Not that he'd seen her 'in person' recently, of course, and nor would he, not for a while now, but if she'd happened to skype with him while she was wearing her red jacket, and she'd happened to get a certain… reaction, well, there was nothing she could do about that.
She grinned to herself as she slid onto her bike. Closing a case and taking off at five was pure bliss, and she wanted to talk to him while he was still up. She rolled her eyes at her own sappiness as she pulled her helmet over her head, ignoring the admiring looks she was getting from two of the robbery detectives. She sure didn't need them; it wasn't a relationship, she assured herself for the hundredth time, but her constant texting with Castle today had included a selfie he'd sent outside Windsor Castle with the caption: Castle at a Castle. There was no denying it; the man made her laugh.
"Looking good," one of them called over when he noticed that she'd made him and she just shook her head.
"In your dreams, Stevens," she countered, urging the bike out of the parking lot behind the precinct and onto the street. The low evening sun cast warm shadows on the road and her smile only grew as she threaded her way through traffic to the East Village.
Maybe it wasn't just the emergence of spring that had her in such a good mood these days.
No, it was twenty percent spring, and eighty percent… Castle.
She glided through a green, pulling up in front of her building and securing the bike before taking the stairs two at a time, opening her apartment door and placing her helmet on the table at the entrance.
Kate kicked her shoes off, breathing out a sigh of relief as she padded barefooted across the small space, edging the kitchen windows open a little to let some air in. Her computer lay on the table where she'd left it this morning, and she opened the lid, pressing the power button to bring it back to life. Carrying it over to the counter, she plugged the electrical cord in so she wouldn't be caught unawares by a dead battery again, and then logged in to Skype, grinning at the green tick next to Castle's name.
The ring tone sounded, and she adjusted the angle of the screen so Castle would have the full view of the room. She wanted to talk to him, but she wanted to eat too, and this way she could do both.
"Hey, Beckett."
She smiled, the familiar face a welcome sight. "Hey, Castle. You all tucked up in bed already?"
"It's not early for everyone," he protested, shifting his own computer so she could see that he was, indeed, in bed. She bit her lip at the view. She couldn't be sure whether or not he was doing it on purpose, but the end result was the same; the man had nice arms. Good arms. Those were some pretty damn awesome arms to have, and not for the first time since they'd been Skyping she had to wonder why he'd been so buttoned up at the precinct.
She might have been friendlier toward him if she'd known he had arms like that a little earlier on in their working relationship.
"Drinking coffee to stay awake?" she asked and he frowned before figuring out what she meant, holding up his NYPD mug and waving it in her direction.
"I made it Irish," he said, and she laughed.
"I'm going to stick with wine," she told him, reaching for the bottle of red on her counter, and pouring it into a glass. "How was your day?"
"I wrote some more," he said, and she nodded, half-listening while she filled a pot with water from the faucet and put it on the stovetop. "I have a lot for Bond, and actually…"
He trailed off, and she shifted to get the spaghetti from the pantry, using the opportunity to hide her face. It shouldn't still sting, but somehow the closer they became, the worse it was.
He should have been in New York with her, writing Nikki.
She swallowed, twisting back around and smiling at him, the expression feeling hollow on her face. It wasn't such a bad thing he'd gone. If he were here they would have been in the exact same holding pattern they'd been chained to for the last year. Case after case, never moving forward-
But had they really moved forward?
They spoke every day, it was true, but that was it. They hadn't had the chance to find out if there was anything more there. For her part, Kate had turned down a date with a friend of Lanie's just last week, but for all she knew, Castle was dating in London.
And he had every right to do so.
"Beckett? Are you okay?"
Oh. She'd been silent a beat too long. "I'm fine, Castle. Just tired. Long week, you know?"
It was a white lie, because until now she'd had a spring in her step, but she was overwhelmed, suddenly, by the reality of their situation.
This wasn't a relationship.
"You need a vacation," Castle sympathized, and she managed a slight upturn of her lips. He was trying, and she was tuning out.
She nodded, taking a sip of her wine, and leaning back against the kitchen table, she faced the camera. "I have a long weekend coming up, actually."
"Really?"
"Yeah." She swallowed another mouthful of the rich syrah, enjoying the buzz as it flowed into her veins. She needed to relax, and she finally had the chance to do so. This vacation was long overdue. "I was owed a couple of days, so next weekend I'm going to take them."
"Do you have plans?" His eyes lit up, and she laughed.
"Yeah… but you might not like them."
"How could I not?" he asked.
She stood, placing the spaghetti into the boiling water. "There's no WiFi up at my dad's cabin," she said. "No internet at all, actually. There's a landline, but the cell phone signal is pretty hit and miss."
"That's your plan?" His face fell as she stirred the pasta.
"What's wrong with that? Upstate New York is gorgeous in the spring," she protested, and he shrugged.
"I know. But you could go up there any time. How many days did you say you have?"
"Five," she said. "I'm taking Wednesday through Friday as vacation days. Back at work on Monday."
"Hmm." He yawned, and she shook her head at him.
"You should go to bed."
"No, I'm not sleepy," he said, holding his cup aloft again. "See? Coffee."
"Uh-huh."
"Besides, I barely notice the time anymore. I don't feel particularly committed to this time zone."
"Clearly." She raised her eyebrows at him before crossing the kitchen to her fridge, rustling around in it until she found some pasta sauce behind a couple of old take out containers. She sighed. Maybe instead of going to the cabin for the whole five days she should make use of a little extra time in the city. She could get her kitchen - her life - in order, take care of the tasks that had been building up. Between work, and speaking to Castle most days, she just didn't have the time she used to.
Not, she had to admit to herself, that she'd ever invested a lot of time in cooking before this unconventional… friendship with Castle had overtaken her life.
"You okay?" he asked again when she turned back in view of the camera, and she shrugged.
"I think I'm going to get an early night." She needed to get her head out of this funk, and staring at his face an ocean away was not making anything clearer.
A look she couldn't quite place crossed his face. Despondence? Regret? "Enjoy your dinner," he said, and she nodded.
"Thanks. I'll, uh, talk to you tomorrow."
His face left her screen as he signed off, and she sighed, closing the computer and moving back to concentrate on the spaghetti. What had just happened? She'd been so excited about getting home, talking to Castle as she cooked, and then-
Then what, Kate? She had the answer ready, as uncomfortable as it made her. Lanie was right. Lanie had been right for months now, when it came down to it.
She wanted more.
She didn't want to be Skyping with an ocean and a six hour time difference between them. No, she wanted to be coming home from a day at the precinct and opening a bottle of wine with Castle there to share it. She wanted to put the pasta on to cook as they made a sauce from scratch, rather than pouring a sauce of dubious 'best before date' over the spaghetti she was now going to eat alone.
Instead of a non-defined pseudo long distance relationship, she wanted to be with Castle.
Castle brought his hand to his head, not sure what had just happened. How had things gone so wrong? One second they'd been talking, and he'd been on the cusp of admitting that he was going to send Gina a draft of Naked Heat. He'd had it all planned. Tease Kate with the promise of a chapter to read… But the next second, she'd zoned out.
Maybe she really was just tired.
He rolled his shoulders, not sleepy anymore, and, standing, he made his way out to the kitchen, tipping the rest of the coffee into the sink. Getting himself a glass of water instead. If he wasn't going to sleep he could try his hand at writing again, but the idea of going back into his bedroom and grabbing his laptop stung.
He needed to work on Bond, but his heart lay with Nikki, and frankly, he was sick and tired of serving two masters.
That left two choices. Gaming, or watching something. He glanced in the direction of Alexis' room; he'd need to use headphones regardless, but before he could make a decision, his phone chimed on the counter, and he jerked his head up toward the sound.
He unplugged it from the cord, happy to see it was fully charged, and slid his finger across the screen to read the message.
Sorry, Castle. I don't know what's wrong with me. Guess I need that break. K.
The effect was immediate, and he straightened, the tension releasing from his shoulders at the sign she was still talking to him, that they were okay.
Don't worry about it.
His first message was simple, but he was already typing out the second, his thumbs racing across the keyboard.
New York State is beautiful… but let's play a game. Tell me where you dream of going, if you could go anywhere?
The response was no doubt partnered with an eye roll and he grinned as he read the words.
I like New York. And I like my dad's cabin.
Humor me, he responded.
Canada?
Come on, Beckett. Where's your sense of adventure? You went to Kiev your semester abroad, right?
There was a long minute before she answered, and he imagined her, sitting at her kitchen table, glass of wine in front of her, as she gave in.
Fine. If you must know I have always dreamed of going to Prague.
Prague, huh?
Castle wandered into the living room, switching the lamp on and looking up at the map Alexis had hung on the wall. Paris was marked with a blue star now, as were Copenhagen and Berlin. Barcelona had a red star on it, to mark the fact Alexis had gone there with her friend's family without him.
What color would Alexis stick against Prague, when he went there with Beckett?
He reached out, running his finger over the name. It couldn't be more than an hour or two's flight from London, and that made it, what, ten hours from New York? Twelve? Totally do-able in first class.
His phone chimed again, the sound startling him. Shit. He had to respond. And it was Wednesday now, so he had a week to get everything organized. Flights, hotels, tours.
He ignored her next message - did you fall asleep? - scrambling to get his thoughts together as he dashed back into his bedroom, pulling up a new browser window before replying.
You have a passport, right?
A/N: Thanks readers! And especially for your note MirandaJayne ;) Thanks betas! Mwah! x