217. A Hard Act to Follow part 2
The bundle of poison pollen flew.
The fleeing partiers paused to flinch.
The vine-wrapped thugs gasped and shouted in horror.
And as the dangerous pellets made their gradual descent in a curved arc to the floor…
Th-Th-Thwish!
I flipped through the air—vaulted by a pulse of murk—and snatched all of the pollen in one blurred swipe of my metal hand.
GRIP!
Poison Ivy merely blinked.
Plant!
I landed in the middle of the Gothe Nightclub's bottom floor. Panting.
"Yowsers!" Harley Quinn shuddered. Holding a dazed William B. Fox over her shoulder, she turned and gazed at Poison Ivy. "We've got a show-off, Red!"
"Another pathetic husk is more like it…," Ivy sat up on her levitating vine, propped up a shapely leg, and aimed a wristband crossbow over it and towards me. "Say your prayers Mister…….'Noir', is it? My my, little boy…you're a long way's from home."
I turned and glared at her. I raised the pollen in my metal hand to throw back.
"Hmmmm…..heheheheh…," Ivy chuckled in a low, womany throat. "If you actually think that I would be vulnerable to my very own toxins…."
I repositioned my arm and tossed the pollen at Harley Quinn.
Thwissssh!
The clown girl all but dropped Fox. "AAAAACK!"
Ivy's green eyes widened. She dove to the side at the last second and blocked the incoming pollen with her chest.
PFFFT!
Quinn flinched. "Red!"
FWOOOSH!
Quinn then looked up…to see a murk-flying foot sail into her face.
SMACK!
The clown flew off the vine and slammed into a lattice of speakers. CL-CLANG! "OOF!"
Fox tumbled towards the ground.
Perched on the vine, I reached down and grabbed him by the collar. I took a brief second to breathe…
SM-SMACK!
I jolted from an elbow to the back.
Poison Ivy stood up behind me, joined her hands together, and slammed them down on me again. "You should ask permission before taking a ladies' seat!" TH-THWUMP!
I plummeted off the vine.
Fox fell after me. GRIP! Ivy caught him and was hoisting him back up onto the green branch.
WHUMP! I landed on the ground, winced, and propped myself up on my knees. I looked up and saw the window through which the thick vine had entered. It was within sword's slice of me.
So I…..
TH-THWISH-CHTUNK!
Green goo spilled and splashed out from Myrkblade's scarring entrance.
The whole vine shook and quivered like it was a lizard tale, and some paranoid part of me could have sworn I heard the vine make a 'shrieking' noise.
Poison Ivy must have heard it….or felt it. She turned and gazed wide-eyed at my damage and shouted: "My baby!"
I saw Fox dangling from her grasp. So I ripped Myrkblade out, snarled mutely, and slashed in again…twice as deeply.
CHT-CHTUNK!
RIIIIIP!
The filaments and membrane of the vine shredded and…
SNAP!
The green monstrosity fell across the length of the Nightclub floor.
SLAM!
To put it lightly, Ivy and Fox went for a tumble.
The unconscious playboy was sprawled on the ground between two booths. Ivy rolled over to a stop besides an abandoned 'dance' cage. She moaned and struggled to get up.
At the same time, the thorny tentacles that had encircled many a thug disassembled. And a handful of bouncers and henchmen serving the nightclub fought their way free of the vegetable material and marched towards the center of the floor. Frowning. Cocking pistols and pumping shotguns.
"Now! Now!" 'Mr. Trent' shouted from the top balcony. A safe distance away. "Let 'em have it!"
I panted.
Guns.
I can handle……guns.
As for now……
I looked over.
Again, Fox body lay dormant like a fumbled football.
Grab the money and run.
I dashed towards him.
"Hey! Whoopee cushion!"
I skidded to a stop. Blinking.
"HEY!"
I spun around.
Harley Quinn charged me, swinging a rubbery red bludgeon straight at my face. "I said Whoopee CUSHION!
WHAM!
The rubber gag slammed into my skull and caused my body to spin three times before tossing me into a balcony support pillar. THUD!
"HA!" Harley Quinn tossed the whoopee behind her shoulder. "From Mr. J with love!" She then proceeded to whip out a flame thrower from….some other orifice in her black and red costume. "THIS….however…belongs to yours truly!"
FWOOOOOMB!
My black eyes bulged. I held my breath and leapt over the flames.
Two booths crackled and exploded from the consuming flames.
I flipped and hung by my metal arm to a balcony ledge.
"Come 'ere, kid!" Harley ran up beneath me and aimed her flame-thrower up. "Granny's got a cure for ya zits!"
FWOOOOMB!
I dropped down. Flame and ashes danced down onto my backside. I rolled over and stood up…breathing heavily.
Harley snarled and re-aimed her billowing weapon. "Stay still, ya frickin' squirrel!"
I snarled.
Dammit, only one person can call me……
FWOOOOOMB!
SHIT!
I blurred along the length of the dance floor.
Harley giggled and trailed the tongues of fire after me.
I ran, teleported under a table, leapt over a stool, and dove past a bar full of beverages….
POWWWWW!
The bar exploded when the liquids came in contact with Harley's fire.
A hot, steaming burst erupted out towards her.
"Whoops!" Quinn stepped back, disengaging her flame thrower. She made a cute face of guilt. "Don't want a repeat of the Toys 'R Us incident."
Padding…stomping….thunderous feet.
She glanced left.
"Huh? Oh snagglepuss…."
WHAM! I rammed into her, shoulder first.
She stumbled back.
I gritted my teeth and swung Myrkblade up.
CHT-CHTINK!
I shattered the framework of the flame thrower.
Little bursts of plasma started to vomit forth from the weapon.
"Snap!" Quinn tossed it towards the wall.
BLAM! The flame flower exploded in billowing swirls of amber and red.
"Oooooh….," Quinn's masked eyes sparkled. "Pretty!"
SLASH! Myrkblade swung.
Quinn backflipped.
I braced myself.
She somersaulted back and perched atop a table.
"Let's dance to a different tune, shall we?" She spun and froze in a pose with three razor sharp playing cards. "MY TUNE! HA!" She spun again and tossed the projectiles.
THWISH! TH-THWISSSSSH!
I blinked in half a second and then backflipped.
SWIIIIIISH!
One playing card grazed my twirling legs, ripping a line of fabric through my fatigues.
I landed facing away from Quinn. I expertly shot my metal hand behind my back.
CL-CLAMP! I caught the other two playing cards.
My lips curved slightly.
I pulsed murk through my prosthetic and enveloped the cards with smoke. Holding my breath, I spun around twice and flung the murking cards back at the clown girl. TH-THWISSSSSH!
Quinn's eyes bulged. "Eeep!" she crouched low and covered her head comically.
SL-SLICE! Meanwhile, the cards shredded through the support structure of a speaker-holding lattice behind her.
She stood up and grinned wide. "HA!" The lattice teetered and fell down towards her back. "Silly ninja! Only my therapist can use my talents against me! And he's six feet under!"
I leaned on Myrkblade and waved.
"Huh?"
CL-CL-CLANG! The lattice fell, pinning her to the floor.
"Hey! Nnngh….nnnghhh! Get me out from under here! A girl can only handle so much pressure these days!"
Whatever……
I turned around, suddenly overcome with immense curiosity as to how the rest of the hellish nightclub was fairing with Poison Ivy.
BL-BLAM! BLAM! BANG!
A line of thugs were firing bullets at what looked like an army of….weeds crawling towards them. While they were preoccupied with the flora footmen, Ivy was running towards the center of the room with a familiar victim over her shoulder.
I clenched my teeth.
Fox!
"Ahhh…the Nightclub scene…," Ivy breathed in the air of the chaotic room before reaching into a 'pocket' of her leotard and producing a handful of seeds. "To every criminal underground, there is….another underground." She tossed the seeds into the middle of the floor besides the collapsed vine.
SP-SPLORCH!
A corrosive green acid formed a large puddle. Steam and smoke rose towards the ceiling. A hole was ripped freshly into the floor, melting through to a tunnel below.
I looked at it. Gulping.
"Batman related to me that he believes there is a stockpile of hidden weapons and tools for Triangular being hidden beneath the Gothe Nightclub building itself……," Clark Kent had said.
"Ta ta, Triangular. It's been a real pleasure giving you displeasure…" And she leapt down the fresh hole with Fox, but not without uttering: "Coming, Harley?"
I didn't immediately dash after her. I stood stock still, trying to process what she said…
Ivy knows about the Triangular?
What in the……
"Nnnngh!" POP! A comical sound effect announced Harley Quinn prying herself free of the speakers' lattice work.
I spun around with Myrkblade just in time to spot Harley skidding to a stop before me.
"Now now….I have no time for babysitting…," Quinn sexily winked and waved. "But if you're lonely, I know who to recommend." And she brought two fingers to her mouth and shrilly whistled.
CRASH! SHATTER!
A pair of windows looking into the Nightclub shattered on my right, a balcony level up.
I turned and glanced
THWOMP!
I was slammed to the ground by one of two mangy hyenas. Red leashes twirling like second tails, the two furry animals hissed, growled, 'laughed', and flung their jaws at me.
I raised a metal hand up to catch the teeth of one. I had to swing Myrkblade up and use its broad side to block the bite of another.
I struggled and jerked and fought with the two bloodlusting animals as Harley twirled up over me, cupped two gloved hands beside her face, and cooed: "Awwwww…..they want to plaaaaaaaaay! Be nice, babies! Bite the bones off BEFORE chewing them!"
"Harleyyyyyy!" Ivy's voice echoed from the tunnel.
"Eeep! Right! Go time…," she blew me a kiss. "As much as I'd love to cradle-rob….ciao!"
I snarled, fighting with the hyenas.
Harley Quinn acrobatically flipped, somersaulted, and dove herself down into the acid-burned tunnel into the basement levels of the Gothe Nightclub.
Soon, the henchmen of the place—joined by Mr. Trent—fought and shot their way through the attacking plant monsters and ran to the hole. They jumped in, one at a time. Weapons ready. Tempers flaring…shouting.
"Get them!"
"Don't let them escape!"
"We gotta get Mr. Fox at all costs!"
They were soon drowned out by a snarling, drooling hyena face in front of my eyes.
SNAP! SNAP! Its jaws bit at my nose.
I dodged, jerked my face, kicked up steam, and….
FWOOOSH!
I teleported straight up with the hyenas in tow. I solidified right as I reached a balcony underside. I twirled and slammed into the overhang with the hyenas hitting it first.
WH-WHAM!
They yelped like Chihuahuas with their tails being bitten.
All three of us plummeted and fell awkwardly in three places across the nightclub floor.
CRUNCH! One hyena through a table.
TH-THUD! Myself off a bar counter.
CRACK! Another hyena through a chair.
Then…
Silence…..
………
The nightclub had been cleared of patrons, save for those knocked out and lying in various strewn spots.
All the thugs still awake had rushed into the tunnel beneath the acid-burned floor. Distant gunshots and shouting sounds echoed beneath the chamber.
I groaned mutely. Clutching Myrkblade, I limped to my feet and hobbled towards the hole. I looked down and was graced with a basement of yellow brick leading off into a pure, cylindrical tunnel of solid concrete. And from there, the sounds of combat emanated.
Of course I was going to go down there after them….and by 'them' I imagined everybody.
And to think I couldn't sink any lower……
I sighed.
"………"
SWOOOSH-THWUMP! A hyena pounced on my back.
CRUD!
The two of us plummeted—"laughing" down into the basement.
T-T-T-T-T-T-
Beneath the Gothe Nightclub was an age-old series of catacombs. Almost as old as Gotham City itself. Whatever nefarious purpose the catacombs once served, they were now but a bridge connecting to a very new and very expertly constructed tunnel lined with glazed concrete leading southward. Uninterrupted. Ringed with lights. Perfectly round and cylindrical in nature.
And such a perfection was being pierced by two sexily clad criminals scurrying their way down the long concrete 'tube' with Fox in their grasp. Behind them, a throng of gunmen and thugs charged, reloading shotguns and other dangerous firearms.
"Harley…allow me to congratulate you on your punctual klutziness."
"Duaaah?" Harley blinked. In mid-sprint, she frowned over at the poisonous redhead. "Well excuuuuuse me, princess! In case you didn't notice, I was kinda sorta tackling some kung fu reject with a case of gas! I thought you said this place didn't have the superheroic heat on it!"
"Well, there was always the threat of Batman!" Ivy huffed and puffed while carrying Fox. "That's why I cultivated the special mutant Vitis mustangensis to aid us on this raid, but as it turns out some lucky skunk turned out to have super-powers."
"Say Red…do you think there's really gonna be a point to all this concrete spelunking? I mean, I'm a sucker for a 'light at the end of the tunnel' and all, but…."
"Less speculation and more perspiration, Harley…."
BANG! BL-BLAM!
Shot and bullets flew over their heads.
"EEEK!" Harley covered her cranium.
"Oh for the love of ferns…," Ivy spun around, snarled, and flung a handful of seeds behind them. "Get out of our hair already!"
The green pods struck the walls and floor of the tunnel. With a rumbling sound, they sprout out mutant tentacles that ruptured and grew at an alarming rate into thick, pulsating vines. A cobweb of green plant membrane covered the tunnel's passageway from wall to wall to ceiling to floor. The pursuing thugs skidded to a stop.
A sweating Mr. Trent ran up and shouted: "Blast your way through, dammit! Don't just stand there!"
The men pumped their shotguns and fired at the web of green.
BL-BLAM!
POW!
BLAM!
Plant skin shattered. Green goo splattered. The vines quivered and shook but held their ground.
Mr. Trent stepped back and distanced himself from the line of gunmen. He whipped out a cellular phone, cupped a hand over his opposite ear, and squawked into it: "This is Trent! Yeah, I know the boss ain't here! But this is an emergency! Seal the second layer of the southbound tunnel! NOW!"
T-T-T-T-T-T-
Harley glanced behind them—panting—at the sight of the gunfire assaulted plant wall.
"You think that will stop them, Red?"
"Just long enough…," Ivy grumbled and slowly carried Fox forward.
SCHLIIIINK…THUD! A huge slice of doors closed in the middle of the tunnel like an aperture and blocked the southward path of the two women.
"…..," Harley blinked at the barrier. "You think that will stop us, Red?"
"Nnnngh…," Ivy grumbled. THWUMP! She practically tossed Fox into Harley's chest. "Hold the phone."
Quinn dangled Fox over her shoulder. "Do we really need this chump alive?"
"What we want to see is at the end of this tunnel….," Ivy said. She pressed a button on her armband and produced a steel cutter. She went to work on the door. Zzzzztt! "The son of Lucius is just insurance…..for now. In the end…who knows? He might serve as a good shield."
"Hehehe….I get his head when it's all done?"
"Ugh…..Harley…."
"What? The babies might be hungry after they're done with Mr. Sword-Person!"
T-T-T-T-T-T-
BL-BLAM!
BLAM!
Shotgun blasts ate and ate into the plant.
"It's no good!" one thug panted. He craned his neck and looked through the cracks in the vine at the two vixens on the other side. "We're doing jack to these branches and the girls are cutting on through!"
"Hurry up! Fire closer!"
"But sir….at point blanc….!"
Mr. Trent snarled. "Do you realize what Dent will do to us if those two see too much?"
FWOOOOOSH!
Trent nearly spun off his feet as I blurred by.
Two gunmen likewise gasped and teetered away from me. "Wh-Whoah!"
I solidified in front of the vines, panting and writhing with hyena scrapes all over. I frowned, charged Myrkblade with smoke, and slashed-slashed-slashed-slashed-slashed-slashed-slashed at the vines.
SLICE!.SLICE!.SLICE!.SLICE!.SLICE!
The thugs behind me blinked.
I ripped faster through the branches with my murking blade than their shotguns could have done on their own.
"Say….," one henchman muttered and pointed: "Just whose side are you on, anyway?"
Still slicing rapidly, I glanced back at them. "………"
"Does anyone really care?" Mr. Trent shouted. He pointed to the edges of the vines. "Cut through!"
They lowered their shotguns, raised pistols, and fired at the vines on either side of me.
BL-BLAM! BLAM!
SLICE!.SLICE!.SLICE!
With our superpowered and ballistic efforts combined, we started to crack and break through the mutant plants.
I panted and sweated….
I can worry about alliances later.
Right now……Fox……
T-T-T-T-T-
"Almost there….," Ivy grunted, working hard on the cutting tool.
The door still stood firm. The thinnest of cracks ate through it.
"Almost……..th-there….."
RIIIIP! BANG! BANG!
The plant wall started to give way behind them.
"Chop chop, Red!" Harley sweat, holding (hugging?) Fox's body and biting her lip at the sight of the pursuers making headway behind them. "Chop chop, Red! Chop choppity chop chop!"
"Nnngh….that's good enough…," Ivy grunted. She clicked the cutting tool back into her armband, stood up, produced an acid seed and launched it into the hairline fracture she had formed in the door. "Ha!"
PFFFT! SSSSsssssSSSSSSssss!
Steam and smoke.
CRKKKK!
The acid burned the cut through.
"Harley?"
Quinn passed Fox to the redhead, narrowed her eyes, twirled about, grunted and—"NGHH!"
SWISH…SMACK!
The clown girl kicked the severed door chunk off its frame.
CL-CLANG!
"Open sesaus!" Quinn cheered.
Ivy rolled her green eyes.
CRACK!
Trent's men and I ripped through the plant wall. I jumped on through, twirled Myrkblade, and gazed down the tunnel at them.
"Eeek-ness!" Quinn uttered.
"Go, Harley! Go!" Ivy shouted.
Quinn jumped through the door frame.
Ivy headed out after her, dropping seeds as she went.
I took a breath and….
FWOOOOOSH!
I soared after them, murking.
And then the seeds started to sprout and mutate behind the girls. The first of a line of them morphed slimily into a walking, man-sized venus fly trap. Flower petals yawned open with mucous dripping, sharp teeth that snapped at me. CLAP! CLAP!
I skidded to a smoking stop, flailing just inches before the creature.
The killer plant paced around on gnarled roots and lunged at me. HISSSS!
I flipped back.
CLAP!
The jaws bit at mid air.
I held up Myrkblade.
The plant redoubled. Four companions marched up alongside and charged at me and the thugs.
"Look out!"
"Smoke 'em!"
BL-BLAM!
POW!
The henchmen fired shotgun volleys and pistol blasts at the creature.
Lead and green slime flew. Hissing, mutated shrieks filled the air.
In the middle of the barrage and chaos, I blurred forward with an upswing of Myrkblade and sliced through one plant after another. SL-SLINK! THWACK!
Goo and green spray splashed.
I held my breath, teleported through the mass and hacked and slashed my way while the henchmen shotgunned after me. Together we formed a line of destruction obliterating the plant golems as we dashed after the two escaping mistresses.
Mr. Trent in the distance squawked yet again into his cell phone: "They're breaking through! Initiate the third layer's defenses! Do it!"
T-T-T-T-T-T-
"We're almost there, Red!" Harley shouted as they reached the last length of the long tunnel. "Just a few more frolicking feet and….."
ZZZZT!
A web of heat lasers fired up in a criss-crossing web, blocking their way to the last door.
"Ahhhh…Giminy Krakow!" Quinn halted, frowning.
"This is too much to be called Harvey's work…," Ivy walked to a stop. Her green eyes were thin as she thought aloud. "Dagger must be digging deeper into this City than we thought…"
"Yeah….sure….Dagger, Triangular…they all sound sexy. Now can we please PUSH ON THROUGH?" Harley shook. "I sense all nations of the world trying to butt rape us and…"
CRKKKK!
Another plant bit the dust far behind them. Gunshots and sword slashes and smoke.
"Aaack! We'regonnadieWe'regonnadieWe'regonnadie!"
"Hush up! Hold him again!"
"I already am!"
"Oh whatever….just catch your breath!" Ivy walked over and knelt in front of the field of lasers. She planted two seeds firmly in the ground. She coaxed them. Breathed on them….she guided the sprouting vines as they poured out and stretched and grew and stretched and grew and….
Snkkkkkkkkkkkk! The vines extended in two separate direction and snaked their way through the laser fields. They wrapped around each other and formed a double helix before touching cleanly on the other side like a bridge.
T-T-T-T-T-T-
In the meantime, I slashed through a lasting plant and burst my way through the shattered door frame…
GRIP!
I let out a silent shout and fell chest-forward to the tunnel floor hard.
THWUMP!
I winced.
I looked down at my feet.
A wounded plant had its vine wrapped around my ankle. It flipped and flopped around in its own green 'blood', writhing and shrieking as it tightened its grip on me.
I snarled and slashed and hacked at the quivering vine in a vain attempt to free myself. I sweated and looked down the last of the hallway.
Harley and Ivy were at the laser field.
Just about to escape.
I panted….
T-T-T-T-T-T-
"Ivyyyyyyyyyyy….," Harley shook.
"Stop squealing already!" Ivy groaned and gave the seeds one last pet. "Now, my darlings!"
The vines instantly thickened and shifted outward. In so doing, they expanded into the path of the lasers, blocking them.
HISSSSSSSSSS!
Smoke and steam rose from where the spiraling vines were impacted by the lasers. But as the helix expanded, a 'tunnel' of sorts was formed arcing through the criss-cross of heat breams, allowing for safe transit.
"Now, Harley!"
Quinn snarled and drop-kicked Fox in the butt. "Boys first!"
THWUMP!
The man's unconscious body comically pinballed through the tunnel and landed clean on the other side.
Harley expertly dove through, slid through the crevice made by the plants, and rolled to a perching stop on the concrete floor beyond.
As the tentacles started to melt away, Ivy climbed in. She glanced back at the last second….
SWOOOSH-SPLORCH!
The wet, soggy remains of a dead killer plant flew into her face.
"Nnnngh!" she swiped the slimy entrails off her face and dripped in horror.
FWOOOOSH! Myrkblade swinging, I blurred at her.
She crawled reverse through the tentacle tunnel, aiming a wristband crossbow at me and firing poison darts. Thwift! Thwift! Th-Thwift!
I swung Myrkblade back and forth in mid-sprint. CLANG! CLACK!
Ivy snuck through to the other side and hobbled back.
PFFTTTTTSKKK!
The tentacles burned to ashes.
The criss-cross of lasers solidified.
I skidded to a stop, panting.
"Okay, Red! Let's make like the Siberian wind!"
The two girls dragged Fox with them through the end of the tunnel.
Behind me, rushing feet and voices.
I glanced behind, breathing heavily.
The henchmen charged, pumping their shotguns.
Mr. Trent was shouting into his phone: "Seal the exit! Seal the exit now!"
WHURRRRRRRRR!
I spun and looked ahead.
The door that the girls were running through was swishing shut.
I held my breath, pulsed murk, and leapt forward.
"H-Hey!" some thug shouted.
FWOOOOSH!
I teleported through the heat lasers and solidified at the end of my dive on the other side.
I rolled to my knees and stopped to inhale. My body was 'smoking' in several places.
WHURRRRRR!
The thick and heavy door panels were only inches apart.
I shot forward, blurred, and squeezed through in the form of steam at the last second.
FLASH!
CLANG!
I made it as the tunnel was sealed off.
The lasers deactivated.
Trent and the henchmen skidded to a stop at the end of the tunnel, panting.
"……SHIT!"
-T-T-T-T-T-T-
On the other side of the door, there was but a few scant feet left to dash until myself and the two women I was pursuing skidded to a stop before a rusted metal railing overlooking a lofty, dark interior.
Harley freed a shoulder from carrying Fox and whipped out a goofily large revolver. "Bang goes your head, Wakko!"
Poison Ivy aimed her cross bow.
I raised my sword.
And for a span of five seconds, the three of us stood….threatening each other. Silent.
"…….."
"…….."
"…….."
We all lowered our weapons as one. Blinking dazedly.
"……………………"
We walked over and gazed past the railing at the bottom floor of the factory we were suddenly in.
And….
The ground was clean. Empty. Void of any and all things. Lacking souls, lacking instruments, and certainly lacking any and all pieces of the 'weapons arsenal' that Superman said Batman had assumed to be there.
Judging by the fact that us three individuals—who seconds before were at each other's throats—were no longer in the act of trying to kill one another….I surmised that Harley and Ivy were just as shocked by this sudden revelation of a missing cashe as I was.
"What in Rhea's name?"
"Red! It's gone! There ain't nothing here but nothingness! And a whole lot of it!"
"But….I-I don't understand….," Poison Ivy murmured. Fugate and Tetch said they spied it here! Even Crane had dirt on this lousy garden hole!"
Harley Quinn shook. "D-D-Do you think it was a setup? Th-That they were tryin' to rid us just like…," she gulped, "…the Parasite?"
"Not possible….," Ivy shook her head. "…that would connect them to Triangular…."
I looked at the redhead.
She looked at me. Her pale face suddenly snapped and she pointed her crossbow at my face.
I gritted my teeth and aimed Myrkblade into her throat.
CHIIING!
"And just what are you doing here?" Ivy hissed. "Nobody…I don't care how young or stealthy could have possibly found this place out without going through all the trouble like we have!"
I frowned at her.
Don't get me started in defining 'trouble'……
"Darn it….," Quinn squinted. "Just why does this kid look familiar to me?"
"Because he's a blasted Titan, Harley. Now be a good girl and help me out!"
"What? Can't handle him on your own?"
"Nnngh….not here, Harley….," she hissed. "Not now…."
"Sheesh…you never let me tease you!"
"What are you talking about? Of course I…."
"I'm not talking about that!"
I growled mentally in frustration, holding Myrkblade to Ivy's throat.
Why, God……
Why is my life always full of frickin' LESBIANS?
"Eh….whatever," Quinn aimed her clownish gun at my forehead while I was trained on Ivy. "Kiss your virgin face goodbye, Orlando BOOM!"
"……..," I started to sweat.
POW!
I flinched….but I was still standing. The blast hadn't come from the gun, but instead the nearby doorway of the tunnel.
All three of us gasped and spun to face the fresh, smoking hole.
A line of gunmen with tommy guns and shotguns filed out, frowning. Trained on us. Mr. Trent also emerged. But…walking through the center in a tall, stonelike gait that announced himself as the proprietor of the explosion was a face of legend. Rather….two faces of a legend. He flipped a coin with a gnarled blue hand and glared at us. Flipping. Right eye calm and collected. Flipping. Left eye bulging and monstrous. Flipping. Flipping. Flipping.
I gulped.
"Harv….," Ivy smirked ever so slightly. Her green eyes thin. "Still dealing with the devil as always?"
"Everytime I wake up, Pam…," the iconographic villain uttered in a hoarse voice that shook my bones up close. He flipped. Flipped. Clutched. Pointed. "As for you and your clownish girlfriend…..still flirting with death? You might not find death here, dollfaces. But you sure as Hell found trouble."
"Gee, I dunno, Harv….," Poison Ivy flipped her scarlet hair and leaned sexily back against the railing. "It looks to me that 'trouble' left this place long before we got here." She pointed with a backwards nod of her head to the empty floor of the factory. "So where did all your big, bad toys go anyhow?"
"They were never here to begin with…," Two-Face resumed flipping the coin and stepped up before the ladies, Fox, and I. "I got wind of the Bat sniffing this place out long ago. So when I told Triangular, we kept the Gothe Nightclub glistening while the goodstuffs were carried away. There's no nest like an empty nest if you ask me." Flip. Clutch. Glare. "Or me……"
"Hmmph!" Harley Quinn upturned her nose. "Undoubtedly the work of Mr. Wolf here!"
"Fox."
"Whatever! Gawd, you're such bologna!"
"Sir…they've seen too much," Mr. Trent said. "We can't let them warn anyone…."
Two-Face glared specifically at Poison Ivy. "Pamela….who's on your team? What is this I hear about…a second 'warfront'?"
"Hey?" Quinn pouted. "Why're you asking all the questions to Red anyways?"
Cl-CLAK! Two-Face aimed a gun with her good hand at Quinn. "Cuz when she opens her mouth, she actually makes sense, you bumbling waste of estrogen!"
"Eepness….," Quinn backed into the railing with Fox.
"You know how we work…," Ivy gestured. "Two blossoming roses in the mud of this putrid City. There's absolutely nobody in this City we'd join forces with. It's just not how it goes, Harv. You know that."
"What I do know, Ivy….," his mutated side squinted. "…is that you have a history of lying to one face and kissing the other! I think you're in a plot to wreck Triangular and what it stands for. And that makes you worse than an enemy to me. That makes you weak…."
"And since when were you one to sell yourself out to an underground empire, Two-Face?" Ivy suddenly leaned forward and growled. "It's the stupidest most suicidal no-no in the book! Sooner than you think, you'll have the Joker and the Riddler on your back like bees to a dandelion! You'll be stabbed from all sides sooner than that maniac Dagger will have time to stab you in the back himself!"
"Then why after so many months am I still standing?"
"…….."
Flip. Flip. Flip. "This is a different world, Ivy. Things are changing. The weak villains will be weeded out by the Parasite. One by one. And only those safe in the arc of Triangular will survive to see the world of a new balance. It's as simple as that. You chose to tread water…and for that….you'll drown…."
"Where's the Parasite going to strike next, Harv?"
"I'm done talking to you…."
"Where's the Parasite going to strike next?"
"Maybe the question you should be asking….," Two-Face pointed. "Is why are you so frightened? You couldn't possibly be that scared….unless……you have tasted of that frozen, red breath yourself?"
"…………"
Two-Face's 'faces' turned and trained on me. He hoarsely hissed: "Only once you've brushed close with the blade of the Parasite can you truly be frightened into doing….anything……."
I clutched to Myrkblade like it was a blanket.
I gulped and stared at the line of guns, thugs, and faces.
I felt a chill.
Again, in my metal arm.
But why here of all places?
Is……Is he nearby?
Rrrrred Aviarrrry……
"How do you do, Noir?" Flip. Flip. Clutch. "I've heard a lot about you. You gave us all a fine headache in Vegas. But….to be perfectly honest…..I wanted the whole western ordeal to be over with as soon as Dagger finished what he went there for. That's why I sent Croc in…as an ear into the place. The Dragonflare merely cooked his brains for a few short days like I expected. He pulled out in the end. Both you and he weeded out another weakling before the Parasite ever had a chance to. The world is a smarter places without its Andersons."
"………," I stared.
"Just what did you come here for?" Flip. Flip. Flip. "Was it because of what Metallo did to you? Or perhaps because the stone girl's child still hasn't been found? No….No….it's something else that brings you here." He pointed at his mutated half's skull. "I know what it means to have a dark, obsessive force yanking at the puppet strings in the attic. There's a cold and silent space inside each of us, kid. A tabula rasa of obsidian ink. And somewhere in your void, a red cloud burst and nearly ripped you asunder. What did you see in that crimson vortex? What pulled you here? It couldn't have been the train of golden vials….because at this point, you'll never guess where that is. Something far more moronic dragged you to Gotham…and that intrigues me like a rat trying to eat its own tail in starvation."
I shivered from my metal arm…and something else. My legs shifted. I felt the weight of the birdarang in my fatigues' pocket. I sighed….
"No matter….," he growled. Flip. Flip. Clutch. "Shoot them. Shoot them all."
Ivy frowned. Harley gulped. I shivered.
Mr. Trent gasped. "But…B-But boss!" He paced over and quivered before Two-Face with a shrug of his arms. "Mr. Fox! At least get the bitches to cough him off!"
"Nnnnghhh!" Two-Face shoved him to the side and yelled. "Who are you to talk? It is not up to me to decide! This is in the hands of fate!" And he readied his coin for a strong flip.
I blinked.
Is he for real?
"Two-Face! You're crazy! If Lucius' son bites it, the heat will be on to Triangular!"
"By that time it won't matter. The hammer is about to fall," Two-Face said. "We will be done here and a second November Fourth will go as planned!"
"……..," my quivering jaw dropped.
"Red….," Harley whispered. "It's just as we feared. Will you-know-who be…."
"Shhhh!" Ivy hissed back. "Any time now. Just hang in there…" And then the redhead glanced at me.
I squinted curiously under my shades.
What's going on here?
Who's doing what?
I subconsciously scooted over and stood in the 'firing range' with the two women and Fox…as if I suddenly felt in the same boat as them. Perhaps I was in that boat all along?
The thugs were silent. Every gunman tensed and stared as Two-Face flipped the coin of destiny.
It spun in the air with a metallic rush of wind. Thin. Mute. Resolute.
Molasses time. Like oozing motion. The pin rose, flipped, fell…and landed in Two-Face's mutated palm.
Sl-Slap!
His other hand clasped over it.
"…………..," Two-Face opened his hands. He looked at it.
We gulped.
"…………," he glanced up at us. Both eyes calm.
Ivy sneered: "I don't like that look."
And Two-Face pointed: "You won't be seeing it for very long," he turned and looked at the thugs. "Shoot them!"
"N-No!" Mr. Trent started. "Fox!"
A subordinate gladly elbowed the man in the chest.
WHUMP! "Oof!"
"You heard the boss…," the thug smirked. He stood, cocked his gun, and aimed. "Ready, boys?"
Cl-Clak!
Clak!
Cht-Chtunk!
"OmigodOmigodOmigod!" Harley hid her face in Ivy's shoulder. "Red! Hold me!"
Ivy rolled her eyes. "Time for an early Spring…." And she shrilly whistled.
The gunmen blinked.
Then…
A vibration.
A shaking through the metal framework of the factory. The empty air echoed the metal clanking until…
SMASH!
The wall beside us exploded as a mass of flesh poured on through. I could barely see through the dust and wreckage as a thick, hulking foot slammed down and caused a wave of unearthed metal flooring to rush towards the gunmen and knock them all off their feet.
THWOOOSH!
"Whoah!"
"AAAH!"
"D-DAAH!"
I braced myself against the railing.
Harley and Ivy fought for their footing.
"Nnnngh….," a sleeping Fox groggily smiled. "Just how I like it, baby. The rest of you girls keep the water bed counterbalanced….zzzzzzz…."
"What in the devil?" Two-Face groaned.
The dust cleared.
A giant stepped into view. STOMP! "Buenas Noches, Senior Dent. Have I arrived at a bad time?"
Two-Face shook his head and groaned. "Ah great….they got to you before we did."
I blinked. I squinted at the stranger.
"Si…pero I chose my allies on account of my own intuition….," Bane said with a nod of his head. "But I'm afraid you….are on the losing side of the fence, tonto."
"Will someone….please….," Two-Face snarled out of one face. "….shoot the overgrown tumor?"
The first row of guards who got up whipped out their tommy guns and fired madly.
RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!
Bullets ricocheted everywhere.
Harley and Ivy ducked.
I flinched.
Bane ducked, grab a solid slab of metal paneling, and held it in front of him. Bullets flew off it in maddening sparks. He charged with the impromptu shield and slammed his entire weight into the gunmen like a rampaging bull. "NnnnnghhRAAAH!"
CLANNNNNG!
The thugs' bodies went sprawling.
Two other gunmen aimed shotguns and fired.
BL-BLAM!
BLAM!
Bane side-stepped the blasts, raised his foot, and slammed it down like a sumo wrestler. "YAAAAH!"
A wave of unearth metal flew and knocked the men back into the cylindrical tunnel behind them. Th-Thwump! "Oof!" "Nnngh!"
Two-Face fell from the vibrating chaos. A pair of black boots stood before him. He looked up weakly.
"Hrm….," Ivy knelt down and smiled, her lips pursing. "You know…there was a time when I would have interpreted this as you proposing to me…."
Two-Face merely hissed: "The only proposal I have for you is a lead slug between your eyes."
"Cute….but futile."
"Whatever happened to you and that dumb blonde being 'two lonely roses in the mud' and crap?" Two-Face growled.
"You know me….only kissing one face at a time…," Ivy trailed her gloved fingers along his chin and said: "You know…once all this is over and Triangular finds itself collapsing under its own weight, I'm going to have to kill you."
"And I'll enjoy taking you with me."
"Heheheh….I'm sure you will, Harv. But as for now….," and she kissed him on the human cheek.
He blinked. Then his eyes rolled back. "Ughhh…." THWOMP! The poison kiss knocked him out. He lay silent on the cracked metal platform.
Ivy stood up, hands on her hips. "Dream of…less bloody things………you ugly piece of shit." She blew him a second kiss and girl-stepped away.
In the meantime….
POW! SMACK!
Bane's menacing fists flew through thug after thug, massacring them against the walls and leveling the entire place to the point that I thought the steroid-induced cretin would bring the entire ringed platform down.
As for myself…I stood on the sidelines. Watching. Blinking. Allowing Bane to do more complete of a job than I ever could.
THWACK! CRACK! "Ughhhh!"
"Kinda makes you wish you had popcorn! Don't it?"
"…..," I gazed at Harley.
She held Fox while winking at me. "Ya know….you're kinda cute when you look confused, kid."
I blinked.
Shouldn't I be chopping your head off right about now?
"RAAAAUGH!"
Bane spun and next flew his fist towards me.
I winced all over with Myrkblade held up.
"………"
Nothing happened.
I panted and looked up, seeing Bane's fist stop just at my forehead. Every other thug had been crushed into unconsciousness behind the towering behemoth and now he stood blinking at me from behind his tight black mask.
"…….oye," he paused and pointed. "Donde es esta muchacho?"
"His name is Noir…," Ivy stepped up and folded her arms. "He came here from Metropolis."
"He did?" Harley stupidly uttered.
Ivy rolled her eyes and continued: "He's a former Titan. In trouble with the law for attacking the Justice League and the Daily Planet staff."
"Do you know what he's doing here?" Bane asked.
"Nope."
"……..should I spare him?"
I bit my lip.
Ivy looked at Bane. Then looked at me. Then looked at Bane again. "Nah."
I shuddered.
"Bueno…," Bane launched his fist at me the rest of the way. "RAAAUGH!"
I took a breath and backflipped.
CL-CLANK!
The railing snapped where Bane's fist went through.
I landed and slid back to the wall.
Bane stood tall and seethed at me.
I snarled and twirled Myrkblade at ready. TH-THWISH!
He faced me directly and pumped his arms. A cord connected to a wristband pumped a green serum into his neck. His arteries throbbed. His muscles bulged. Teeth gritted like a set of granite ivory in two serrated rows as red eyes glistened in bloodlust. He raised his mountainous limbs to the ceiling and shook the entire chamber as he roared a battlecry: "RAAaaaaAAAaaaaAAAAAAAAUGHHH!"
"…………..," I sweatdropped.
Yeah……uh……no.
CHIIING!
I sheathed Myrkblade, turned, and ran.
I'm not THAT crazy.
"Coward!" Harley squealed.
"Let him go," Ivy said. "We need to take this sniveling playboy back to the others."
"Mmmmm…..," Fox drowsily murmured. "So….much…..PINK…."
Bane eyed a propane tank embedded into the factory wall. He smirked under his mask. "Not without un poco fun…." He grabbed the tank with meaty fingers, snapped it loose, and hoisted it over his head like a football.
In the meantime, I dove off the outer platform, landed on the empty floor of the factory below, and dashed towards a dark tunnel.
"Go long, you little mosquito! HA!" THWIIIIIIIIISH!
I looked behind my blurred shoulder.
My black eyes bulged. I pushed myself faster into the black tunnel with a pulse of murk.
CL-CLANK! The tank struck the metal surface of the inner tunnel, bounced, ruptured, and…
PHOOOOOOOOMB!
A wave of fire and shrapnel ate at my heels, caught up, and propelled my flailing body forward like a cannonball.
FWOOOOOSH!
T-T-T-T-T-T-
Several minutes later….
A heavy-set body smashed through a wall of a factory.
Two petite females carrying a dazed African American snuck out after him.
Bane lead the two to a lone black moving van in the parking lot.
The women and Fox snuck into the back.
Bane slid the rear doors shut, dashed to the driver's side, and jumped in.
The engine roared loudly in the empty night, but then puttered into a low pur.
The vehicle drove out of the parking lot….and down the road….
……
……
But not without a shadow emerging from the sidelines, aiming a silent gun, and firing a blinking tracking device that sailed two hundred feet and landed securely on the rear mudflaps of the van.
Pow! Thwiiiiish! Cl-Clank!
Beep….Beep….Beep….
The van trailed off.
…..
The shadow on the edge of the parking lot spun about and ran off into the distance with the wave of a long black cape….
T-T-T-T-T-T-
"……….."
I stirred.
"……….."
I stirred again.
The first thing I did when vision returned was I checked my limbs. The flesh ones. Everything was in tact from what I could tell. Then I checked my metal prosthetic. Still in tact. Still shivering.
God, I hope that's just a bad habit and not an 'omen'.
Speaking of omens….
I sat up in the dark tunnel and rubbed my groggy head. I looked in the direction from which I was 'blown'.
A line of flames and burning shrapnel were all that remained of the propane tank that chased me.
There was no point in returning from whence I came. If not a layer of burning plasma, I'd have a mountain of steroids and muscles to face up to. And I wasn't quite in the mood for that.
'Bane', huh?
I hobbled up to my weary feet and adjusted Myrkblade's sheathed over my shoulders.
For a man whose body just SCREAMS 'wrestler', he's got one heck of a pitching arm……
I clutched my shivering metal arm and limped towards a cold, red light at the end of the tunnel. Outside Gotham night……I guess.
I took a deep breath and let my mind do what it always did best.
Agonize…..
Okay……So……
Two-Face is the last point of Triangle. Or at least one of the 'Gothamites' that Triangular is composed of.
Two-Face is obviously trying to protect William B. Fox, the son to Lucius Fox……co-CEO of Wayne corps. Or at least……Two-Face's men wanted to protect Fox. Two-Face could care less with his coin running the show. Frickin' psychopathicon.
The Gothe Nightclub ONCE housed a weapons arsenal for Triangular. But that arsenal is gone now. Perhaps…in anticipation of Harley, Ivy, and Bane? Maybe in anticipation of me? Maybe just for the friggin' hell of it?
What WERE Harley and Ivy up to anyway? Why did they have Bane involved? Their main goal was to see the nonexistent arsenal of Triangular, but I guess they captured William B. Fox as a fringe benefit, and now they're making away with him. And it doesn't sound like they're working alone. Something's rotten in Gotham's Denmark and for once it doesn't have a single damn thing to do with Red Aviary.
Or wait……does it? The Parasite IS Red Aviary. Different name. Same demon. Triangular has a foothold in this City, and something tells me that a lot of other villains know it. And they aren't too happy.
So what is this, a warzone? Where is the shipment of Terra's essence? Where is Gaia?
Hell……where is Batman?
I sighed.
Walked.
Took a deep breath.
"……"
I felt the birdarang in my pocket again.
I bit my lips.
One thing at a time, Jordan. One thing at a time.
I gazed forward as the light intensified. A rushing sound gently increased as I walked on. A sound like…..like water on rocks.
I need to get to Fox. More than anything, I need to find out what part he had in Terra's essences being taken to Gotham City. Because if what Two-Face has rambled on about concerning a new 'November Fourth' is true……then I may not have much time before……
Before……
I don't know, what. But I can feel it. It isn't a good thing.
It isn't a good thing at all.
I reached the end of the tunnel.
And.
I stopped.
A sharp chill ran up my metal hand and into my cranium.
Forcing my optics to widen.
"……."
I reached a trembling hand up and took off my shades. I gazed with naked black eyes out.
I stood in a tunnel emerging onto a huge Bay. Black waters lapped rock bluffs all around me. Sawgrass stood in sharp stalks waving at the sky. A red sky. Red reflection on the waters. Red glinting off the sawgrass. And red clouds billowing coldly downwards. And in the distance…standing tall…standing pale….standing strong….
A lighthouse. With a pale strobe of light twirling…twirling…and FLASHING at me.
My jaw dropped.
This place……
This is……This is where……
My metal arm shook.
I clenched the fingers.
I looked down, shivering all over.
I've seen it.
Someway……somehow……I-I have……
I sweat. My black eyes trained on the floor. And for a pulsing second, I could have sworn I saw obscure clumps of light brown.
Is that……Is th-that……
A STROBE of lighthouse light. The brownness was caked and crumbling. Ancient.
I shuddered.
Is th-that……mud?
Another strobe.
Another chill.
Something rocketed up inside of me and exploded in icy fire through my spine.
FLASH!
RRRRRED AVIARRRY!
FLASH!
"Run, Robin!"
"Annie, no!"
FLASH!
"Bring her back!"
"I can't! She's gone!"
FLASH!
"Robin, no!"
"NnnnnghRAAAAAUGH!"
FLASH!
"Sometimes……there are no happy endings……"
FLASH!
I stumbled.
I leaned onto a metal pipe with my metal hand.
The titanium digits shook and quivered and gripped tightly to the metal.
I sweated and shivered all over.
Panting….panting…..panting….
Red Aviary……
I gulped.
This is it……
This place……
This is the center of it all……
Of everything that has happened and will happen……
I looked down beneath me.
The light brown matter was gone.
Perhaps blown away by the watery November winds….
Perhaps never there to begin with….
Red Aviary is here……
He may not be here to kill me.
But somehow……he's here……
I looked up at the wall.
"……"
My metal fingers had burrowed holes in the pipe.
Forming cracks from the shivering limb's penetration.
He is a part of me.
And I can't shake him.
I stood up on straight on wobbly legs.
I put my shades back on.
I gazed bravely up at the strobing, blinding lighthouse.
All I can hope to do……is unfold this mystery before he catches up with me……
Or worse off……
My friends.
I took a deep breath. I summoned murk into my body and prepared to blur out onto the waters.
I need answers.
I need to know what Harley, Ivy, and Bane are up to. I need to know the 'allies' that they are collectively working with.
FWOOOOOSH!
I dashed out onto the cold waters of the Bay.
Running against the freezing, November wind.
Kicking of watery spray and bending around to climb my way northward over dry, urban land.
And in Gotham City……
As legend tells all superheroes……
There is always one place where you can get good info.
T-T-T-T-T-T-
November 29, 2004.
The IceBerg Lounge.
1:23 am
T-T-T-T-T-T-
The normally hopping nightclub establishment was rather barren.
Less than a third of the tables were filled that evening.
The band that was hired to play atop the ice platform in the center of the sea lion pool was sent home.
Even the bouncers positioned at their usual stations were yawning.
Pacing—more like waddling—across the foyer of the icy cool club was a fairly confuzzled Oswald Cobblepot.
He griped and muttered and mumbled to himself, momentarily pausing now and then to lean on a leather umbrella or adjust the bow-tie of a suit no patron had the chance to see that evening.
After a few seconds of this putrid pacing, a sexily leotard 'pigeon' lady with dark hosiery and a derby hat walked over with a bundle of menus and bit her lip as she said: "Gee, Mr. P….if you keep moving around like that, you'll cause trouble for your blood pressure! You know what Dr. Greene said about…"
"Confound it!" he waved his umbrella at her. "Don't patronize me, you puny-minded princess! This has nothing to do with my circulatory system. Can you not see that my financial oasis here is suffering from a deplorable drought?"
The hench-girl flinched, hugging the menus to her chest. She smiled nervously and said: "B-But I'm sure people will come around! You're the gentleman of Gotham City! The Penguin reformed! You're an inspiration to us all!"
"Mrmmm….muddlefeathers….poppycock….bah! If I needed some cheering up, I would have chosen a quiet spot to busy myself with today's grim stock report…………….and perchance the obituaries…."
"It's just a slow night, boss! Things will get better! You'll see!"
"I'll be seeing pink elephants in pantaloons soon enough," the Penguin rubbed his monocle with a hankerchief and grumbled. "I know exactly what is going on here. The cackling cowards of this City are on the rise, and they've infected all of my….easily persuaded clientele with bloated balderdash about 'Parasite' this and 'Red Reaper' that. Goose feathers! If I had a shot of bourbon for every time I've heard a patron calling in and excusing himself from my Lounge on account of some 'triangular conspiracy' I would have lost three livers and laid a golden egg by now! Pfft! I'm retiring to my roost now. Be a good kitten, Lark, and make sure the fledgling dredges humoring my establishment have flown the coop by Two."
"Y-Yes sir, Mr. P…."
The obese 'former' villain waddled up a set of icy-white steps towards the upstairs office of the nightclub. stairs. If I survive this wretched recession, I'll be installing an escalator! Bah…no sense of leisure for the fine feathered fellow these days…."
The henchgirl sighed to herself, hugged the menus, and trotted off towards the front of the club. Something streaked by her as she passed the frozen pool. Something flickering smoke and then gone again.
"Ackies!" she nearly spun. She looked around.
Nothing.
"…..," she gazed into the pool. "Hrmphh…I do wish Mr. P would feed them pups more fiber…." She waved her nose, made a face, and trotted on.
…..
T-T-T-T-T-T-
The Penguin locked the door to his office behind him.
Still mumbling to himself, he turned around and waddled to his desk side. "--it…where did I put my daily reports?"
He searched a few drawers of his desk….paused….and tilted his bald head up.
"………"
He turned around.
He gazed behind his chair.
The window was open.
The curtains shook as a cold November wind blew in.
"…………..nnngh….," the Penguin sighed and planted his hands into his hips. "All right, Batman. What in the blazes do you want from me this time….?"
FWOOSH!
I materialized and shoved him back into the desk.
"Nnnngh!" WH-WHUMP! He shook his head, his lips making a goofy bird sound. He blinked beadily at me. His lips into a curious smile. "You? Why….you aren't Batman. A little bit younger and more bird-brained, if you ask me."
"………," I glared at him. I slowly marched forwards.
He stood up and straightened his suit. "Somehow I thought that you might walk into this City. Quite a wild card you are, my tempestuous Titan. What's with all this hodgepodge chaos you've busied your bumbling body with in Metropolis? Trying to become a villain, are you? Here's a word of advice, my dear delinquent. You are better off sticking to the gray edges of the fence!"
SWOOOSH….GRIP!
I had my metal hand around his throat.
"Snnkkkt…..," the Penguin wheezed. "Not much for woards….are we?"
I kept glaring fixedly at him while…with my right hand…I dragged over a notepad from his desktop and scribbled on it. I held the words up for him to read.
His monocled eye tilted over and read the page.
'Do you know where Harley and Ivy's new gang is located?'
"Hmmm….," he smiled at me. "Now aren't we the peeping tom?"
"…………"
"Hrmph. Stiff feathers, huh?" he shifted in my grasp. "Who's to say if I know or not? I'm in a rather pitiful pinch as of late. There's no early worm for this bird to snatch these days. If you want information…it will cost you."
I gritted my teeth at him. I mouthed: 'Not in the mood.'
CHIIIIIIING!
I brought Myrkblade out and held it to his chest.
If I threatened 'Clark Kent'……I can certainly scare the shit out of this Pokey wannabe.
I blinked.
Wow……so this IS the makings of a villain……
To my surprise, he merely laughed at me. An effeminate, haughty laugh. I somehow envisioned the Planters Peanut man in afterglow.
"Oh…how the cycle never ends," he rolled his beady eyes then smirked at me. "Tell me, chap. What dangers do you promise to assail on my plentiful person? Are you going to slice me? Dice me? Send me dangling out the window? Kick a table into my face? Slice off my neck and feed it to the hyenas? Or maybe just boil me alive in my own juices while piranhas eat at my exposed intestines? Blah blah blah…"
Th-Thrump!
He shoved me back with an indignant frown.
"Go home, you lackey!" he hissed. "You don't frighten me. You're young and foolish! Reckless, perhaps, but hardly threatening!"
"………..," I stared at him.
"Hrmph! Honestly! Do you think there is a single threat, death wish, or malevolent intent that has not been impressed upon me by some Bat-creep, Cat-creep, or Night-creep in some way or another?" He folded his arms and turned his nose up at me. "There is absolutely nothing whatsoever in the golden books of Gotham City that will get me to spill forth anything you would want to…."
WHAP!
I kicked him in the face.
"OOF!"
He flew back into his chair.
The chair flew back into the wall.
I marched at him. One step. Jabbing Myrkblade. Two steps.
SLIIIIIII-IIIIIII-IIIIINK!
I sliced the length of Myrkblade into the cushion of the chair squarely between his legs.
"DuAAAH!" Penguin convulsed all over, his monocled eye widening.
"…..," I whipped off my shades. Demonic black smoke danced from my eyes.
Wanna bet I'm a clean cut, pal?
He sweated. He looked from me back down.
I gripped Myrkblade with two hands while gritting my teeth and pulsed waves of smoke into the blade.
FL-FLASH!
The whole sword billowed and vibrated serrated energy into the chair and right up against his groin.
"I…..I….."
I pulsed it even more.
The smoke bit at his thighs.
Tiny delicate seams in his pantlegs started to curl and shred open.
Riiiiiiiiiip!
"AH! Allright! Confound it!" he waved a hand desperately, wildly. "I shall talk! I SHALL TALK!"
"………….."
He panted. "I will talk….I-I will tell you about the association of Miss Isley and Miss Quinzelle. Just…pl-please….put that bastardly blade away!"
"…………..," my lips curved.
SLIINK!
I pulled the blade out of the chair.
The Penguin rested his hands on his thighs. Polkadotted boxers showed dangerously close to the center. He bent over and exhaled…sweating all over.
I stood up straight and menacing above the man. Still smirking.
Now we're getting somewhere, Ana……
And I sheathed my sword.
CHIIIIING!