022 is a sequel to 015.

025 takes place during the episode Oh, No! Yono! and is based on ideas expressed by SpicyWeasel and PengyChan.

ME MONTY, YOU AMY

021-025

021: You'll do

Monkey Fist grimaced as he stared at the charred remains of what might have once been on its way to becoming a pancake on the frying pan. Who would have thought that making breakfast could be that difficult? Amy and Bates had always made it look so effortless and simple.

It would probably be a good idea to do something about the mess before his girlfriend woke up. He knew he couldn't get rid of the sickening stench that was making the kitchen smell like a gas chamber, but the least he could do was clean up.

That stupid woman, he thought as he was giving his all to scraping the pan. If it hadn't been her birthday, he wouldn't have got the idea of making her breakfast and wouldn't now be wasting his time like this. It was all her fault, as usual. And then there were those disloyal monkey ninjas who had fled to the castle grounds as soon as they had seen he was about to do some cooking. They should have stayed back to help him.

"Morning, honey bunny! What are you doing?"

Monkey Fist glanced at her over his shoulder, cursing that she had woken up a bit earlier than usual.

"I think there was a manufacturing flaw in this pan. It didn't work like it was supposed to," he growled.

Amy walked over and took a look. She whistled. "Wow, that takes some effort," she mused.

Monkey Fist only grunted. Was it his fault if Amy's kitchen utensils were so useless? He knew how to survive months in a jungle and make the most of what the nature provided, but this was somehow beyond him. He loathed admitting that he was not good at something.

"You know, you taught your monkeys how to do kung fu. Couldn't you teach them how to cook, too?" Amy asked.

Monkey Fist crossed his arms on his chest. "What a ridiculous notion. Who has ever heard of cooking monkey ninjas?" he asked.

"Then what do you suggest? I can't always be here to cook for you, and you can't live on bananas," Amy said.

"Maybe you should splice Chippy's DNA with that of Jamie Oliver," Monkey Fist muttered.

"It doesn't work like that," Amy said, letting out an amused giggle as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Cooking is something that's learned, not an innate ability."

"Sometimes I wonder about that," Monkey Fist said.

He stole another look at his handiwork. "In any case, I think we'll have to settle with cereal for breakfast this time," he said. He wasn't particularly fond of that idea. He was used to eating whatever he could get his hands on when he was training in the wilderness with his monkeys, but when he was at home, he liked to have a real breakfast.

"Let's skip that," Amy suggested and nodded towards the destroyed frying pan and the remains of black goo that was still sticking to it. "I've lost my appetite."

Monkey Fist frowned at her in frustration. "Well, I'm sorry if Your Highness can't appreciate what I've -"

Amy silenced him with a kiss. "Stop worrying about the breakfast, cuddle monkey. Sure, it would have been lovely to have pancakes this morning." She paused to think about something for a while. A devious smirk took over her features and she gave him a little poke to the nose.

"But if I can't have that, I know what my next pick is going to be," she said.

On second thought, Monkey Fist mused, it was a very fortunate thing that the monkey ninjas had left the kitchen after all.

022: I hate myself

Amy's finger hovered above the button that would send the call. She was biting her lip and staring before her, not knowing if she really wanted to go through with it. She felt a little foolish. She had had such high hopes of her relationship with Monty, but things hadn't worked out like she had wanted.

Sure, it had been wonderful at first. He had done everything she asked of him without complaint. When she wanted to snuggle, all she had to do was give him a command. When she wanted him to watch soaps with her, he did. When she wanted him to accompany her to Cuddle Buddy conventions, she just had to say when. She had been beyond herself with joy at finally having the man she wanted.

But she had slowly started to realise how soulless it all felt. When they snuggled, his hands were stiff and without affection. He didn't respond when she made a comment about the latest plot point in her favourite TV series. He was only capable of yes and no answers and reciting what she wanted him to say. When they went to the conventions, he didn't smile before she told him to.

This isn't what I wanted, she thought. She wasn't really in a relationship with the man she loved. She was dating a puppet who only looked like him. There was none of the charm, the wit or the passion that had initially drawn her to him.

"This just won't do. There has to be a way to fix this," she said in sudden determination and pushed the button.

She had to wait a couple of seconds, but then Drakken's face appeared on the large screen before her. He blinked in surprise as he realised it was her.

"Uh, hello, Amy," he said.

"Hi there, cutie. Do you have a moment?" Amy asked.

"Sure, what is it?" Drakken replied.

"It's about that mind control chip you -"

"Ixnay on the you know what, Amy!" Drakken interrupted before she could even finish. His eyes were wide in alarm, and he glanced over his shoulder as if he were afraid that someone might hear what they were talking about.

Amy frowned. "What do you mean? Is there something wrong with the chip?" she asked. Really, what could be his problem? Evil scientists like him probably worked on mind control chips every day.

"What chip?" came a new voice from Drakken's end, and the blue scientist looked like he would have rather jumped into a pool acid than stayed there as Shego stepped into view.

"Nothing, Shego! I and Amy were just talking about her new chocolate chip cookie recipe! They go really well with cocoa moo, and you see -"

"Shut it," Shego growled with an intimidating frown. When she turned to look at Amy, her expression wasn't any less furious. "Did I just hear something about mind control chips?"

Amy ignored the way Drakken was feverishly waving his hands behind Shego's back and replied, "Yeah, I called Drakken about the chip he gave me. It's not working like I wanted it to."

Shego turned back to Drakken, her movements as if she were in a slow motion film. Amy couldn't see her expression, but it had to be hellish because it made Drakken jump back and fidget nervously with his hands.

"It's not what you think, Shego. I only gave her -" he started, but it looked like Shego wasn't in the mood to let him finish anything that day.

"You promised you wouldn't work on any mind control chips anymore! How long have you been creating them and lying to me?" she snarled.

"No, no! I haven't made a single one! The one I gave Amy was one of those that we stole that one time. I found one just lying around," Drakken hurried to explain.

"You mean one of those chips that you used on me?" Shego asked.

"Yes!" Drakken said at first, but when Shego's hands started glowing with plasma, he quickly changed his mind and said, "I mean, no!"

"You make me sick," Shego said with a shake of her head. "I thought we agreed that using mind control like that is too evil even for us. Why did you give the chip to Amy? You should have destroyed it!"

"She promised that she wouldn't use it on a human! She needed it to get some difficult creation of hers under control," Drakken said.

Amy winced a little. At that time, it hadn't felt like lying. By some definitions, Monty wasn't entirely human anymore, and he certainly was a difficult creation. Drakken had been a little hesitant about giving the chip to her at first, so twisting the truth a little had felt like the best thing to do. She hoped she hadn't got him into trouble with Shego.

"That's true. Please don't be angry with him," she said, drawing Shego's attention back to her.

"Was the chip really for a creation of yours?" the green woman asked in a doubtful tone.

"Of course," Amy said at once. She decided she had better forget about the reason she had called Drakken and not mention Monty at all. He had helped her, so he didn't deserve Shego yelling at him.

Shego relaxed visibly. "Well, that's good. Those things should never be used on humans," she said.

"Why is that?" Amy asked. Somehow, she didn't like Shego's tone of voice.

"Are you kidding?" Shego asked with a snort. "They're inhuman devices. They take away your free will and imprison your mind inside your body. You have no control over anything, even the most basic functions of your body. You can be forced into absolutely anything, and you can't do anything about it. I've been under the control of one of those chips before, and believe me, I don't wish that on even my worst enemy. It's worse than slavery."

"Um…" was all Amy could say to that.

"And you know what's the worst part? You're conscious the whole time. You know everything that's happening to you. You see it. You hear it. You feel it," Shego continued.

"Okay, okay, stop!" Amy blurted out. That was horrible! She hadn't thought it would be like that at all. Shego made it sound like torture. No, worse. She could feel how cold her hands had suddenly grown.

"I just want to make sure you know what you're dealing with. If I were you, I'd destroy the chip. There must be another way to control that monster of yours," Shego said.

"Yeah, alright," Amy said in a quiet voice. She thought she might cry, so she said a quick goodbye and thanks to Drakken and Shego before terminating the connection. Once the screen had gone black, she spent a long time just sitting there.

What had she done? Was Shego telling the truth? Had she really committed the worst possible violation against the man she loved? She hadn't wanted it to be like that. She had just wanted to give him the nudge towards admitting that he really had feelings for her. He obviously hadn't been about to take the step himself, so she had thought…

Amy got up on her feet, surprised by how much they were shaking. She walked to the living room where she had left Monty sitting on the sofa. There were cookies and tea on the table. She had planned for them to watch the new Cuddle Buddy OVA movie that she had just bought. She had just wanted to first ask Drakken why Monty wasn't being as affectionate as she wanted.

She knew that now. Even with the mind control chip, he didn't love her. She hadn't changed his feelings at all. She had just made him act against his will.

She felt like throwing up when she watched him on the sofa. His face was without emotion. He wasn't moving. He looked like a Cuddly Buddy, one of the normal ones that she kept in her collection. But if Shego was telling the truth, he was thinking. He probably hated her even more than before, and he had every right to.

Amy wanted to say that she was sorry, but she found she couldn't force her lips to move. Apologizing after she had done something like this would have been ridiculous. She knew he could never forgive her. He'd probably kill her as soon as she released him.

The only good thing she could think of was that she hadn't taken him to bed. At first she had wanted to, but the indifferent way he had been touching her hadn't excited her at all. She had settled with just snuggling, and now she was immensely grateful for that. She wouldn't know what to do with herself if she had forced him to –

Something about that thought rendered her unable to even look at Monty anymore. She didn't want to see him like that; she hated looking at the result of her actions. With a muffled cry, she turned on her heels and ran back to her laboratory. She collapsed against her DNA mixer and rested her head against it, closing her eyes and trying to even her breathing.

She felt tears prickling behind her eyelids. It only made everything worse. How could she have done this? Why had she thought it was a good idea? Had she been so desperate for love that she had needed to take it by force?

Amy knew this should have been the last thing on her mind. No matter how terrible she felt, it was nothing compared to Monty's torment. She should have already released him. Every second she spent here feeling sorry for herself was injustice towards him. But she just couldn't get up and go to him now. She didn't think she could take another look at him and see what she had done to him. It broke her heart and made her feel so guilty and sick with herself.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled as she hugger her knees and buried her face against her arms. For now, it was the best she could do.

023: You remind me of me

"I'm Lord Monty Fiske. How do you do?"

Amy blinked as she took in the form of the man before her. She couldn't decide how she would have described him in just one word. He wasn't handsome in the traditional way and probably hadn't won any modelling competitions in his youth, but there was something dashing about him even now when he was nearing the middle point of his life. He was dressed in fine formal clothes that were like from a different world, and he held himself with pride and dignity. At the moment he was looking at her with greyish blue eyes and a polite smile that didn't quite reach them.

"How do you do? My name is Amy Hall," she introduced herself. They both of course knew each other already. They had been exchanging e-mails for the past month and had discussed many of the details of their business.

"It's great to finally meet you in person," she added. She wasn't quite sure how she should have addressed him. She wasn't shy by any means and she usually didn't think twice about what she said or did, but this was business. She really needed the money that Lord Fiske had promised her, and the scientist in her was dying to do these experiments.

"Likewise. I hope you didn't have to wait for me for too long," he said.

"Not at all, and the waiter was very helpful," Amy replied. She had been pleasantly surprised when he had suggested that they could meet at one of the finest restaurants in London. She didn't go out much and certainly not often enough with male company. If he was a fun person, maybe she could pretend that there was pleasure involved with the business.

"I wouldn't expect any less," he said as he took his seat.

He's a bit dry, Amy decided. Not really her type. She liked men who knew how to go wild and have fun. But maybe she was judging him too fast. After all, he was planning to go through with a highly experimental genetic procedure on his body. If that wasn't wild, she didn't know what was.

They had a table that was relatively far away from the others. He had probably reserved it on purpose so that they could talk in private. Before he had arrived, Amy had tried to eavesdrop on the other customers to find out how loud she could talk without being heard.

"Lord Fiske, why -"

"Just call me Monty, please."

Ooh, so he wasn't that formal after all. One point.

"Alright, Monty. Do you think this is the best place for us to talk about our business?" she asked.

"I don't see why not. I assure you, nobody will bother us here," he replied.

"Oh, okay. So, we've gone over the whole thing many times, but there's something you never told me. Why do you want to do this?" she asked. Though finding that first e-mail in her inbox had been a lovely surprise, she was immensely curious about why this man seemed so eager to go through mutation. He was the exact opposite of her usual clients. He already had fame and fortune so he couldn't be a super villain, but he also didn't seem the type to have animal fetishes. She didn't think he was one of those people who believed they were an animal born in a human body either.

"Does that matter?" Fiske asked.

"It does to me. This is my hobby, so I want to know what my help is going to be used for," Amy said. That wasn't exactly true. She only cared about that when she made a cute and cuddly pet for someone, not when she modified someone. As far as she was concerned, that was everyone's personal business. Now, however, she was immensely curious about why someone like Lord Fiske would ask for her services.

The man shifted on his seat and frowned at his wine glass like he couldn't decide if he could trust her or not. It was a silly notion since his life would soon be in her hands. It looked like he valued his plans more than his health.

He's mysterious, Amy decided. Like all those dark and dashing heroes from the romance novels she liked to read. Two points.

"Very well," he finally said. "I need the alterations so that I can better proceed with my plans."

"You mean your exploration work for the museum?" Amy asked.

Fiske snorted in disdain. "I no longer wish to associate with those fools. There are far better things in my future," he said, but Amy didn't miss the edgy tone of his voice. She wondered if he had willingly distanced himself from his colleagues or whether they had cast him out. It made her think back to the end of her career, how they had first laughed at her and then humiliated and abandoned her when her ideas had worked.

They had called her insane and deemed her experiments unethical. She didn't know what exactly was going on with Lord Fiske, but she was aware of his reputation and strong position among the most respected archaeologists in the world. That he would leave it and pursue his own interests hit very close to home.

She felt a stab of pity and understanding inside her as she looked at his face, trying to see if he was bothered by what he had left behind. He was just like her, rejected by those who should have been his friends. When he had contacted her, he had expressed his displeasure at how she had been kicked out of the university. He understood exactly what she had gone through. Three points.

"Oh, I understand. You're better off without those meanies!" she blurted out, hoping that her words would make him feel better and bring a smile to that serious face.

He blinked at her. "Er… Quite right," he said.

She reached over the table to take his hand in hers. She felt him stiffen under her touch, but he didn't pull away. Maybe he liked her. Four points.

"I mean it. If they don't understand your genius, then you shouldn't waste your time with them. That's how it was with me as well. I know how you're feeling," she said with an eager tone and eyes that promised that she'd accept everything he had to say. She had already forgotten about her curiosity regarding his reasons for wanting to go through mutation. It didn't matter.

"I'm glad we agree," Fiske said with an awkward glance to his side. "Now, I think we should further discuss the details of your work and our schedule. I am in quite some hurry, so I hope we don't have to prolong the procedure for too long."

"Everything is ready. All we need is the DNA samples and we can get started," Amy said. She watched how excitement crept into his eyes and felt a sense of warm satisfaction at that it were her words that had made the man happy.

"Really? I thought it would be more complex than that," he said.

"That's what my colleagues said, but I showed them!" Amy boasted.

"Then when can we get started?" Fiske asked.

"Anytime you want, honey," she said, flashing him a disarming smile.

He hesitated for a split second before responding to it with a smile of his own, but again Amy got the feeling that he was holding back. Oh, how she would have liked to see a real grin on that face! She wondered what she'd have to do to achieve it.

"Why did you contact me? There are other geneticists in the world who could have done this. But of course nobody is as good as me!" she said next.

"I was impressed by your previous achievements in this field, so I assumed you'd be the most logical choice. I also got the feeling that the two of us would get along wonderfully," Fiske replied.

"You can say that again," Amy remarked. "I think we understand each other perfectly."

"Yes, it is quite rare to meet someone who wouldn't laugh at my plans," Fiske admitted.

"Exactly! You have no idea how many times I've been mocked by meanies who don't understand the genius of my work! They have no passion, no vision and they don't know a thing about what it really means to collect Cuddle Buddies! I must have them all! Alive!" Amy ranted and leaned forward on her seat so that she was almost towering over the table.

Fiske, to his credit, only blinked and didn't let his smile waver more than just a little. "Uh… Yes, I understand your point. I have often felt similar frustration with some of my colleagues. And don't worry. I would never laugh at you," he said.

Okay, that did it. He was a real gentleman and liked her. One hundred gazillion points!

"You have no idea what that means to me, Monty! You're the first person I really feel understands me and accepts me for who I am," Amy confessed. She looked at him and wondered why she hadn't at once realised what a wonderful man he was. He was polite and charming, yes, but what she really appreciated in him was how he was just like her and didn't judge her. True, their specific interests were different, but deep down they were like their souls had been carved from the same matter. They were both masters of their art, underappreciated by their ignorant peers and forced into resorting to illegal means just so that they could really be themselves. Oh, how she wanted to give him a hug and reassure him that he would never have to be alone again.

"I'm glad we have reached an understanding. Some professional relationships can be quite tedious," Fiske said.

Amy giggled. Professional, huh? Oh, the silly man. He probably thought he shouldn't approach her on their first date – for it was clearly no longer just a business meal. Well, if he wanted to be a gentleman, Amy could play along for a while for his sake. Maybe it was for the best to remain on professional terms until their business was over, but after that there was nothing stopping them from deepening their relationship.

"I understand," she said, "and I can promise you that this one is going to be very different."

024: I want you to hate me

If someone had told Monkey Fist that there would be a night that would see him breaking into Amy's house, he would have first stared at that person like he was mad and then erupted in maniacal monkey laughter. Such a thing simply wasn't possible. Monkey Fist knew that there were people who questioned his sanity, and he himself had to admit that some of his methods were sometimes a tad unconventional. But entering Amy's house voluntarily would require such absolute insanity that even he was incapable of it.

And yet there he was. It was the middle of the night, and he had just entered the house after cutting a hole into one of Amy's windows. It was her bedroom. Even in the dark, Monkey Fist could make out the shape of her bed. He shuddered. The only good thing was that she wasn't sleeping in it.

There was currently a massive Cuddle Buddy convention being held in Japan. Amy was sure to be there, which left him with free hands. Now he had the chance to do something that would horrify her so much she would never again bother him with her romantic attentions.

Monkey Fist considered himself only a mildly obsessed person, so at first he had had some trouble deciding what would be the best course of action. After all, Amy was beyond help, so it was difficult to understand how she thought. For a moment, he had pondered what would anger him the most. He didn't think there was a way to make Amy feel the kind of scathing hatred that consumed him whenever he thought of Stoppable, but he had realised what could be a good close second.

He fumbled around in the dark until he made it to Amy's bed. For a split second he wondered what would happen if she was there after all, but thankfully his hands didn't meet anything that was alive. What he did find was exactly what he had been looking for – a little stuffed toy.

Monkey Fist didn't care which Cuddly Buddy he was currently holding. With a swift movement that was usually meant for enemies whose necks he wanted to snap, he tore off the toy's head and tossed it on the floor. Every other Cuddle Buddy he found in the room met the same sorry fate until the floor was riddled with beheaded toys.

Once he was done, Monkey Fist reached into his bag and pulled out a can of spray paint. It was a crude way to leave a message, but he supposed he had to be blunt.

Amy shook her head sadly as she eyed the damage in her bedroom. All of her Cuddle Buddies were ruined, but thankfully she had had all the rare ones with her in Japan. The destroyed ones were all extras, but seeing them butchered like that still hurt.

"You know, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to want to date a guy who breaks into your home and cuts your favourite toys' heads off. If he's trying to leave you a message, it's a little freaky," Adrena Lynn commented.

"I just don't understand why Monty-poo would do this," Amy said.

"Maybe that's why," Adrena suggested and pointed at the huge text that was written on the wall.

"I hate Cuddle Buddies more than anything else in the world," Amy read out loud. Under the text was Monty's signature.

"Amy, this may come as a shock to you, but I don't think you have a future with the monkey man. Listen, why don't we go out tonight, and I'll introduce you to –" Adrena started, but she didn't get the chance to finish.

"The poor thing," Amy sighed.

"Huh?"

"I mean Monty. It's obvious that he finally came to terms with his feelings for me and came to confess his love to me. And when he got here, he found out that I had gone to the Cuddle Buddy convention. He must have been so frustrated. I bet that's why he destroyed all my toys," Amy said.

"I don't think that's it," Adrena said, but Amy could barely hear her. All she could think about was the sadness and anger her cuddle monkey must have felt when he had realised that she wasn't there. That he couldn't be in her arms because of her Cuddle Buddies. She could understand him very well, but he had still gone too far.

"First I'll clean up this mess, and then I'll pay him a visit so that he can apologize. Then it's time we start making up for all this lost time," she decided. She couldn't wait to see the look on Monty's face when she showed up at his doorstep.

025: You remind me of someone

"Oh, yoo-hoo! Yono calling!"

Kim stopped for a split second when Monkey Fist's enthusiastic voice was heard from outside the Yamanouchi walls right before the gate exploded into bits before their eyes. Even as she readied herself for an attack, she frowned in confusion.

Monkey Fist was known to lose it when he got excited about something, but somehow Kim didn't think the word choice fit the deranged British lord and ninja. It was so… childish. Almost like baby-talk. Where could he have picked it up?

A thought crossed Kim's mind, but she quickly shook her head.

Nah. No way.