A/N: Thank you to everyone for your reviews. I am going on with my original story, not the darker version. I will keep working on that version, and will maybe post it at a later time. For now, we will go with the milder version. Thanks!

CHAPTER 52

Embry POV:

I had no idea where I was going. I just wanted to be as far away from Leah as I could. "Embry, come on, bro. Talk to me."

"Seth, I told you. I can't talk right now. I gotta get away from here . . . from her. I can't fucking stand it." I ran faster. "I love you, bro, but I have to be alone right now. OK?"

"Yea, I get it. But come back, OK? Don't. . . leave me."

"I won't, dude. I promise." I kept running and trying to push the image of her letting him put his hands on her, and kissing her, AHHHH! I wanted to rip the son-of-a –bitch apart! How could she do this to me? I thought she loved me. She said she wanted to marry me. If she loved me, how could she kiss another guy? Not just another guy, a monster who kidnapped her.

"I do love you and I do want to marry you, more than anything. Will you please, please let me talk to you? I need you to listen to me."

"I can't believe you came looking for me. Your fucking boy-toy leave you?"

"Shut the hell up, Embry. I know you're angry with me, and I get that. But I am not a whore and I don't appreciate you making me out to be one."

"Whatever. Leave me alone, Leah. I can't talk to you right now. I am trying to get away from you. Damn this stupid 'mind-reading' shit."

"Well, I'm not going to leave you alone. I will hunt you down and find you. You WILL listen to me. If you won't do it face-to-face, I will just stay right here, in your head, until you decide to grow-up and talk to me."

"You just don't get it, do you? I love you, damnit! I told you I wanted to marry you! Why would kiss him? Why would you hurt me like that?"

"Embry, please stop running and I will explain everything. I had no idea he was going to kiss me! I know you're hurt, and you have every right to be. Please stop and talk to me. I do love you. I love you so much."

I stopped running and slowed to a trot. I looked around and tried to figure out where I was. I had no idea what direction I had been running in or how long or how far I had run. I stopped in a clearing that I kind of recognized. I guess I must have run south. We didn't run this way much because there weren't many people on the south end of the reservation. It was mostly wooded area.

"I am so sorry that I hurt you."

I couldn't take her being in my head any more so I phased back into my human form. There! Finally, some peace and quiet! I plopped down onto the ground and leaned back against a tree. I closed my eyes and there they were. He had his arms around her and his lips on hers, and she wasn't fighting it. She allowed it to happen. What kind of good excuse could she have for that?

I opened my eyes and stared out into the forest. I wish I could scrub that vision from my brain. I knew it would haunt me every fucking time I closed my eyes from now on. I pulled my knees up and rested my arms on them. She would find me and I knew I would have to talk to her. I just had no idea what I would say.

Leah POV:

I ran hard to catch up to him. He had shut me out the only way he could – he had phased back to his human body. I had seen where I thought he was, so I thought I could still find him. He was heading south so I stayed south. I slowed to a trot and picked up his human scent. I pulled up and phased back. I reached for my clothes and dressed quickly then walked into the small clearing to find him leaning against a tree.

I walked over and saw down beside him. He knew I was there but he never looked at me. He wouldn't acknowledge me at all. I reached out to touch him and he said angrily, "Don't." I pulled back.

"Embry, I am so sorry that you saw that. I would like to tell you about why Josiah came to see me today. Please just listen and then you can yell at me, OK?" Nothing. I took a deep breath and began. "Josiah called me and asked if he could see me today. He sounded really upset, so I told him yes. He said he knew I would be uncomfortable going to him at the farm, so he asked if he could come to me. I agreed and gave him directions on how to get to my house."

I stopped and looked at him. He had his head down so I couldn't see his expression. I went on, "When he got to the house, he told me that your dad and his brother are taking him to the reservation up north . . . tomorrow. He's so scared, Embry. He doesn't want to leave. Who would? I kept thinking about how your dad told us about him having to go there. I feel sorry for him. I can't help that. He didn't ask for this! This stupid genetic defect that makes him a monster. He broke down and cried. I tried to help him through it."

He still didn't move or say anything. "He asked me to just spend some time with him. To talk to him and help him to feel like someone cared about him. I can't help it, Embry. I do care about him. Like a friend! Nothing more! I sat there with him and we talked. He relaxed and I think he needed that."

Embry's head had come up slightly. At least I knew he was listening. "He knows that I love you, and that's not going to change. He said that he just needed to be with me today to know that he can survive this. That he will get through it. He said that I make him feel like everything will be alright. I gave him a hug goodbye and he . . . he kissed me. I am so sorry that you walked in and saw that. All I feel for Josiah is friendship, and pity and heartbreak . You have to know that I never wanted to hurt you. I love you, Embry. ONLY you. I can't imagine ever loving or being with anyone else." I sat there and felt a sense of déjà vu. I remembered chasing him down and talking to him like this when he found out that Sam and I had sex. I put my head in my hands. Why was I always having to explain myself to him? Well, with Sam, that was different. I didn't know Embry at the time it happened. But this time . . . well, I did this to myself.

But what else could I say? I had said everything I wanted him to know. I just sat there staring at him, willing him to look at me. I would sit there for as long as it took. It took a long time.

Finally, he raised his head and looked at me. I instantly had tears in my eyes when I saw his face. All of the pain in his eyes put a dagger in my heart. To know that I did that to him was more than I could take. I tried to hold back the tears, but they spilled down my face.

Embry POV:

I couldn't look at her. It hurt too much. I knew she wouldn't go away, so I put my head down and tried to get through this. She started talking. About how she felt sorry for him and she wanted to make him feel better. He was being sent north tomorrow. Good riddance, I say.

I knew I should feel bad for the guy. She was right. He didn't ask for any of this, and it wasn't fair. But I just couldn't. He had stolen the one thing that meant the most to me, and I could never forgive him for that, even if he didn't remember doing it. And he was still taking her away from me by making her feel sorry for him. How could she be so stupid to fall for it?

I listened to her whole story and felt like she was shoving a fucking knife in my heart. She kissed him! God! How could she do that? I haven't even so much as LOOKED at another girl since I met Leah, let alone felt remotely like kissing one! And he tells her she makes him feel like everything will be alright. God, it makes me want to puke!

I tried so hard to just listen and not spew out all of the anger that I was feeling. I just couldn't believe her when she said she loved only me. How can you kiss someone else if you love me? Maybe I should try that, huh? What would she think then?

She was finally quiet. Thank God! I didn't think I could take much more. I sat there and tried hard to contain myself. I finally lifted my head to look at her. I saw the tears come into her eyes when she looked at me. Good. Take a good look. See what you've done to me.

I knew she was waiting for me to say something. But I also knew she really didn't want to hear what I wanted to say. So, instead I said, "OK. You talked. I listened. Now, please leave me alone." I went back to staring at the ground.

"That's it? That's all you have to say? Are you serious?" she asked. I could hear the frustration in her voice. "Come on, Embry! Yell at me! Call me a whore again! Something . . . anything. You can't just sit there and say nothing."

I closed my eyes and willed myself to say nothing. She was pushing me, and I couldn't take it much longer.

"Embry, damnit, look at me!" She grabbed my arm and shook me. "I love you! Do you hear me? I LOVE YOU!"

That did it. "You love me? Is that what you were thinking when you had your lips on another guy? Were you thinking about how much you LOVE ME? I seriously doubt that. And so you know, I spent a whole fucking day in a cave with Abby, holding her against my bare chest to keep her from freezing, and not ONCE did I think about kissing her! I felt sorry for her, but I didn't have to put my lips on her to show her that," I screamed at her.

"I think that's a little different . . ." she started.

"Is it? Really? Come on, Leah. You fell for this guy's sob story and you feel something for him. Just admit it! At least admit it to yourself." I stood up and walked a few steps away. I couldn't stand being that close to her.

She stood up and came up behind me. "Yes, I do feel something for him. Compassion. I can't figure out why you don't. He's YOUR family, for God's sake! You act like he's still that monster that we were all chasing."

I whipped around and yelled, "He is! That is exactly what he is! You just don't get that! What might have happened if I hadn't come exploding through your door? Huh? Have you thought about that? What if he would have phased? Could you have stopped him? What if would knocked you out and taken you away again?"

"Is that how you think about your father? Do you think of him as some monster? I know you don't. You love him, Embry. Why can't you see Josiah as a human being who is trapped inside this monster the same way your father is? You are allowing this jealousy to cloud your vision."

"Hell, no, I don't think about my dad that way. This isn't about how I see Josiah or my father, Leah. This is about what I saw today. Josiah is dangerous and he needs to go away. He killed three men and kidnapped three women, including the one I love most in the world. And today I walk in to see him all over you. I'm sorry if I can't get all 'touchy feely' over him leaving. You can think it's jealousy, whatever. I just want him gone."

She backed away from me shaking her head. "Oh Embry. How are we going to get past this?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"I don't know, Leah. I don't know if we can." I looked up to see tears falling down her face again. I felt them well up in my eyes, too. "Dealing with you and Sam, and now . . . him. I can't take any more, Leah. I can't do it. I can't keep coming in last with you." I turned away and took off running. I phased on the fly and kept running. I hoped this time, she wouldn't follow me.

I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I laid down and tried hard to push this pain away. Leah was everything to me. Everything. I couldn't imagine my life without her. Then the vision of her kissing Josiah would float back into my head and I would get angry all over again. I had no idea what to do, where to go. So, I just laid there. It started to rain, but I didn't care.

"Hey, bro. Seth came to me and told me what happened. I don't get it. It's not like her at all." Sam. Just what I needed.

"I guess you would know. You had her first."

"Come on, Embry. Don't go there."

I replayed the conversation with Leah in my mind. He was going to ask, and I knew I couldn't tell it, so I just let him see it.

"Shit. I didn't really believe that she kissed him, but seeing that . . . God, that was brutal. I'm sorry, bro. It's still not like her. I know she has a soft heart. I think she's telling you the truth. I think she does feel sorry for him, for what he's going through . Maybe she's right and he surprised her with that kiss."

"Oh please, Sam. Don't defend her to me right now. I can't fucking take it."

"You gotta talk about his. It's going to eat you alive if you don't. Talk to me. Yell at me. Get it out!"

"Please just leave me the hell alone, will ya?" What is with everyone wanting to be in my head? I knew the only way to get him out was to phase. So I did. I really wished I hadn't shredded my shorts. It wasn't too comfortable sitting on the ground bare-assed.

I sat down and leaned against a tree. I just wanted to be left alone. It was getting dark, and I knew Mom would worry about me when I didn't show up. Sam would call her if he hadn't already. I just couldn't go home just yet.

It wasn't long until I heard, "Hey." I opened my eyes to see my big brother standing there looking down at me. I closed my eyes and said, "I thought I asked you to leave me alone."

He plopped down beside me and said, "Yea, you did. But, I didn't listen."

"There's a shock," I muttered.

He snorted and said, "Come on, little brother. Talk to me."

I turned my head and opened one eye. "You're not going away, are you?"

He smiled and answered, "Nope."

I sighed and opened my eyes to see him holding out a pair of gym shorts. "Seth told me you might need these."

"Thanks," I mumbled as I took them from him and slipped them on. That did make my ass feel better. "So, what do you want me to say?"

"I don't care. Yell, cry, talk. Hell, I'll even let you take a swing at me. Just do something. Don't hold this all inside."

"Look, Sam, I know you're trying to help, but you're just pissing me off. I don't WANT to talk about it, OK? It hurts too much." God, I felt tears coming. I was NOT going to cry in front of Sam. I tried to hold it back. "It's killing me, Sam. It's fucking killing me."

He put his arm around my shoulder and said, "Yea, I know." That did it. I couldn't hold them back any longer. All of the pain and rage just came pouring out. I couldn't just sit here and cry on Sam's shoulder. I lifted my head and jumped up and started pacing. I wiped my face and said, "Damnit, Sam. She keeps saying she loves me, but if you love someone, how do you let yourself put your lips on someone else? I will never get that fucking image out of my head! I go running in there and shove him off of her because I stupidly think he's forcing himself on her. What a dumb-ass I am, huh? She goes running over asking him if he's hurt. If HE'S hurt? What about ME?"

I was really going now. Pacing back and forth and balling my hands into fists. "I just wanted to pound the shit out of that guy, and she gets mad at ME for pushing him away! She tells me I should be 'compassionate 'toward him and what he's going through. Are you fucking kidding me? He killed three guys! He kidnapped her and two other girls and I'm supposed to feel sorry for him? Do you get this at all? Is it just me?"

"No, bro, I get where you're coming from. I think he needs to go north, too. He is dangerous right now."

"THANK YOU! Why can't she see that? Why does she have to try and make him feel better? Why is it her job to do that? Why am I . . " I stopped and ran my hand through my hair. "Why am I never enough for her?" I looked at Sam and felt close to tears again.

He got up and faced me. "Why would you ask that?"

"Because, just the other night she was in your arms, and today . . . she's in his. Why can't my arms be enough for her? "

Sam hung his head. "Embry, I'm sorry, bro. I am so sorry. God, I'm such an ass," he said. Then he looked up at me. "Remember when we talked and I told you how I knew I cared too much for Leah?" I nodded. "I've been so damn selfish. I didn't stop to think what it was doing to you . . . or to Emily. She's noticed, too, bro." He stood up and walked a few steps away then stopped and put his hands on his hips.

"Embry, this whole fucking imprinting thing has been a mess for too long. And as of right now, I am putting an end to it." He turned and looked at me. "You love Leah with everything you have, I know you do. And you are a good guy. You're my brother, and I love you. You deserve to have a woman in your life that loves you, and only you. And you can have that. I will back off from now on. I will treat Leah like a sister and let you worry about her and take care of her. I promise. My time with Leah is in the past, and that is where it will stay." He put his hand on my shoulder and went on, "Leah does love you, bro. She is the one for you. I know it. Whatever happened today with Josiah, is not going to break you two apart. She may have felt sorry for him and kissed him, but I know that she loves you. And ONLY you."

"Yea, right," I mumbled.

Sam grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him. "Cut the shit, Embry! You can lay out here and wallow in self-pity, or you can grow a pair and go get the woman you love. Lay down the law, dude. Tell her you love her and you want to marry her, and you want to be with ONLY her and you want her to be with ONLY you. It's time to grow-up. Don't just run and hide from this. Hit it head-on and then move on. Get it?"

I shrugged out of his hold and took a step back. God I hate it when he's right. And he's ALWAYS right. I smiled at him and said, "Yes, I get it. Quit being a whiny-ass baby and go get my woman."

"Damn straight." He smiled back.

"If I promise to talk to her, will you leave me alone?" I asked him.

"Hell, no. I'll always be a pain in your ass. Haven't you figured that out by now?" he said with a grin.

I had to laugh at that. "Yea, that's for sure, but, I guess I'm kind of glad you are. Thanks, Sam."

"No problem, bro. I know you got my back, and I got yours. That's what brothers are for, right?"

I nodded and we hugged. "If we hug anymore, I swear we'll grow breasts!" I said to him. That cracked him up. He reached out and tousled my hair then said, "Let's go home." I smiled and nodded then he added, "And take those shorts off and tie them to your ankle. Those are my best pair of gym shorts and I want them back!"

"Yes, sir," I said as I bent down to do just that.

Leah POV:

Embry ran off and I felt myself crumble to the ground. I wrapped my arms around myself and let the tears come. I felt great sobs wrack my chest as all of the grief came pouring out. How had I allowed this to happen? We were so happy, and so in love. We were talking about marriage! And I made a stupid mistake of putting someone else before Embry, and now . . . it was all gone. I cried until I couldn't breathe. I had nothing else left inside. I just laid there and curled myself into a ball. I wanted to feel numb. I wanted this to all be a nightmare that I could wake up from and never have to think about again.

The sky grew dark and still I lay there. I had no idea what time it was, nor did I care. I suddenly had a flashback to when Sam told me he couldn't be with me anymore because he was in love with Emily. I remember how hurt I was then, but it was nothing to what I felt right now. Nothing.

I felt drops of rain hit my forehead. I closed my eyes and let the rain pour over me. I was hoping it would wash away all of the pain . . . but it didn't. It couldn't. Nothing could take this away but Embry. And he was gone.

I had fallen asleep. I opened my eyes and looked up at the sky. It was dark and there were millions of stars out, and the moon was rising. I laid there and thought how beautiful the night sky was. I remember my dad telling us Old Indian legends about the moon and the wolves when we were little. I really missed him. I wondered what he would think about me being a werewolf. I know he would be proud of Seth, joining the pack. For him to be a part of the elite of the tribe, would have made him very proud. But me? I was a girl. Girls were supposed to be wives and mothers. He never said it, but I don't think he liked Mom working. She only worked as a nurse part-time while when he was alive. She went full-time after he died to keep herself busy, I guess. I was still amazed that she told me that she was married before Dad. I'm sure he knew all about it, and yet, neither of them ever said anything about it. He was a good man. Just like . . . Embry.

I thought I had found a good man to spend the rest of my life with. I had already thought about us getting married, and having children. I smiled and put my hands on my stomach and tried to imagine being pregnant with Embry's baby. I wanted that so much. I would always love Embry, no matter what. Why did I have to ruin such a good thing?

"Leah! Leah? Are you out here?" Someone was calling me. I sat up and looked around. I didn't see anyone. "Leah! Answer me!"

Embry? It couldn't be. "Embry?" I called out.

Just then Jake broke into the clearing. "Leah, thank God. Are you OK?"

Disappointment sunk in when I saw it wasn't Embry. I looked up at Jake and felt fresh tears falling. He sat down beside me and took me in his arms. "Oh honey, I'm sorry I'm not Embry. Sam called me to come and find you. Your mom and Seth were going nuts because you never came home."

How selfish. I never thought about how worried they would be. "Are you OK, Leah? Talk to me."

I looked at Jake and shook my head. "I fucked up Jake. I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. I lost him." The tears just wouldn't stop.

He pulled me to him and said, "Why did you do it, Leah? Why would you kiss this guy?" God, did everyone know what I did? You can't keep a secret in this pack.

I sighed and said, "I felt sorry for him, Jake. He's being shipped off to that reservation up north where Josh lived. He's scared and . . . we talked about this connection he feels with me and . . . I don't know, I let him kiss me. I don't feel anything for Josiah but pity. I just wish I could make Embry see that."

He smiled. "You will. I know Embry better than he knows himself. He's hurt right now, Leah. Really hurt. Give him a little time to lick his wounds then he'll come around."

I nodded. "I hope you're right." All of a sudden I was so tired. I could hardly move.

"Come on, Leah. Let me take you home, OK?" I just looked at him and nodded. He stood up and then helped me up. I fell against him. I had no strength left in me. He scooped me up and said quietly, "It's alright, Leah. Just rest." He carried me in his arms all the way home.