CHAPTER 53
Embry POV:
I crashed at Sam's that night. He called my mom and told her that he had asked me to help him with something and it got late, so he told me to stay. He told her he would make sure I got to school in the morning. And he did. He came in my room at 7:15 and put his foot on my ass and shoved me out of bed. "Hey! Emily woke you up 15 minutes ago, bro. Get your ass out of bed and go to school!" I rubbed my head and got up and made my way to the bathroom for a shower.
I let the water run over me and tried to wake up. I had just gotten to sleep. I could not get that image of Leah and . . . him out of my head. God, I missed her so much. As pissed as I was at her, as hurt as I was, I knew I needed her. I got out of the shower and pulled on some of Sam's clothes. I stumbled out to the kitchen and sat down at the table. Emily set a cup of coffee in front of me and said to Sam, "These clothes are huge on him! Don't you have anything smaller?"
"Look at me, Em? Does it look like I have anything smaller? I can't help it he's such a runt!"
I glared at him. It was a good thing the shorts had elastic in the waist or they would have fallen off. I drank some coffee and ate some of the muffin Emily put on the table for me. She smoothed down my hair and bent down and kissed me on the head. Then she walked back into the kitchen. I looked over at her and she smiled at me. I liked having a sister.
I got up and left the muffin. I just wasn't hungry. "How am I going to get to school?" I asked Sam.
"I'll drive you over to pick up your truck. That way you'll have your books and a way to get home." I nodded and said, "Let's go." I turned to Em and said, "Thanks, Em."
"You're welcome, honey. Anytime."
I walked outside with Sam and got into his car. He took off and headed toward Leah's house, where I left my truck. As soon as we pulled up next to the truck, all of it came flooding back into my head. I closed my eyes and felt my hands ball into fist.
I heard Sam ask, "Where are your keys?"
"Um, I don't know. I remember throwing my shoes into the truck . . . then I phased and my shorts ripped into shreds. So, either I was smart and left them in the truck, or I was a dumb ass and they are laying out there somewhere." I looked at Sam and he rolled his eyes as he got out of the car. I just sat there. I couldn't make myself move. I was trying so hard not to look up at Leah's window.
"Hey, what you know? You actually did something smart!" He held up my keys. "They were inside your shoe."
I got out of the car and took the keys from him. "Thanks, Sam." I got into the truck and reached for my Pumas. I slipped them on and Sam said, "Hey, bro. It's gonna be OK. Talk to her later. Fix this."
I nodded and said, "I gotta get to school. I'm going to be late." He stepped back so I could shut the door. I started the truck and slammed it into drive and peeled away. I had to get away from there. I couldn't take the pain.
I went on to school and somehow made it through my morning classes then headed into the cafeteria for lunch. I found Quil at a table and sat down next to him. "Hey, dude. You look fried. What's up? Where's your lunch?"
"Not hungry."
"OK, now I know something is wrong. Talk."
"I can't, Quil. It's nothing personal, dude, it's just . . . I physically can't talk about it anymore. I can't take it."
I leaned back in my chair and stretched my legs out under the table and just stared at my books sitting there in front of me.
Quil shrugged and kept eating. He had known me long enough to know when to leave me alone. Unlike Seth, who plopped down beside me with Abby right behind him. "Embry, you OK, bro?"
I looked at him and said, "What do you think?"
He looked over at Abby and then picked up his sandwich and took a bite. Quil looked over at him and raised his eyebrows, but Seth just shook his head. Finally Seth said to me quietly, "Jake brought Leah home about four this morning. Mom was scared to death when she didn't come home. I called Sam and he told me you were there, and he sent Jake to find Leah. He had to carry her all the way home and up the stairs to her bed. She wouldn't talk to anyone, not even Mom."
I just closed my eyes. Oh Leah. What is happening to us?
"I just thought you might want to know," Seth added. Then he nodded to Abby and they picked up their trays and went to a different table.
I leaned forward and put my head into my hands. I couldn't stand the physical ache inside my chest. It was killing me! God, I hope she's alright. Why didn't she go home? And why won't she talk to her mom? And why I am so worried about her? She's the one that did this to us. This is all her fault! Well, hers and that jack-ass, Josiah.
Quil put his hand on my shoulder and I jumped. "Sorry, dude. Just wanted to let you know lunch period is almost over."
"Thanks," I muttered. I picked up my books and walked to my locker. I opened it and threw my books inside and tried to find the books I needed for my afternoon classes. I pulled them out and slammed my locker door shut. I gotta find some way to get through the rest of the day.
Leah POV:
I tried to open my eyes but the light was so bright. The sun was shining in my window, so it must be really late. I glanced at the clock to see it was after one. I rolled over and put the pillow over my head. I had no reason to get up, so I decided to lay there.
The door opened and someone came in. I pulled the pillow away to see Mom standing there. "You ready to talk yet?"
I shook my head and put the pillow back over my face. She pulled the pillow away and threw it on the floor then sat down on the bed. "Well, that's too bad because I am. I guess you can just listen." I just shrugged, so she said, "You scared me to death last night, Leah. When you didn't come home, I thought . . . well, I thought you had been kidnapped again. Then Seth told me what happened. Oh Leah. How could you? How could you kiss someone else? Especially the same guy that kidnapped you before? What were you thinking, honey?"
I just rolled away from her and stared at the wall. "Look, I know you. I know how much you love Embry. You just told me you wanted to marry him. So, I know that this kiss with Josiah wasn't what it looked like. I'm sure you had a good reason for doing it, but, I'm sure that Embry doesn't see it that way, does he? So, I take it you chased him down and tried to explain everything to him and he got angrier. And now, he won't talk to you. So, you've just decided to spend the rest of your life in this bed. Does that about cover it?"
I rolled back and looked at her. I nodded. She smiled and said, "Oh, Leah. That's not the girl I raised. Where's my little spitfire? The one who goes after what she wants? I will not allow you to lay here and give up. You can wallow in self-pity for a little while longer, but eventually, you will get up and fix this. Do you hear me?" I nodded. "I would like to hear why you were kissing Josiah, but I will let you tell me in your own time. I also expect someone to show up and fix my banister."
She stood up and walked toward the door. She turned back and said, "I love you, Leah. But I want you to know if you ever scare me like that again, there will be hell to pay. Got it?"
I smiled and nodded. She opened the door and walked out then closed it behind her. I laid there and stared at the ceiling. I knew she was right. I would have to try to fix this. I wasn't the kind of girl who could lay down and give up. But, I would wait just a little longer. I rolled over and closed my eyes.
Embry POV:
Thank God school was over for the day. I don't think it did any good what so ever to be here today. I don't remember anything any of my teachers talked about. I opened the truck door and threw my book bag onto the seat. I sat there and waited for Quil. He came jogging over and jumped in. "Uh, Seth told me he was taking the bus home." I nodded and started the engine. I pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road toward Quil's.
"You going home or to Claire's?" I asked.
"Home," he answered. I nodded and kept driving. Quil looked at me and said, "I guess this has to do with Leah, huh? I mean, I got that from what Seth said today at lunch."
I just stared straight ahead and said nothing.
"OK. Well, whatever it is, I hope you guys fix it soon," he said.
I glanced at him. "What makes you think we can fix it?"
He shrugged. "Cause, you guys belong together. Everyone knows that. You can't live without her, dude."
"Yea, that's the fucking problem right there."
"What did she do, Embry? What was so bad that you can't forgive her?"
"How do you know she did something?"
"Cause of the way you treated Seth. You never treat Seth like that. You love that little runt, I know you do. So she must have done something pretty bad."
I smiled and glanced at him. "You're pretty smart, you know? I hate that about you."
He laughed. "So? What did she do?"
"She kissed someone else. And I walked in on them."
"No shit? Who?"
"Josiah, my cousin. You know, the monster that killed those guys and kidnapped her? Yea, him."
"Holy crap. No wonder you're so pissed. I just can't see her doing that. I mean, she's really into you. I've seen what goes on in both of your heads, and . . . man. And you saw them?"
"Yea, and no matter how hard I try, I can't get that fucking image out of my head. But at least Dad took him away. He's at the rez up north. He left today."
He nodded. "Sorry, bro. I really am."
I glanced at him again. "Thanks, Quil."
I pulled up to his house and he opened the door to get out. "Hey, if you need me, call, OK?"
I smiled and said, "Yea, bro. I will."
He shut the door and jogged up to his house. I pulled away and drove for home.
I parked the truck and walked up the steps into the house. I collapsed onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. I was beat and really needed a nap. But as tired as I was, I didn't want to close my eyes. I knew what I would see there, and I was sick of seeing it. I rubbed my hand over my chest. God, I wish this ache would go away! It hurt so bad to be away from her.
I laid there and thought about the talk I had last night with Sam. I really appreciated him coming after me. And he had a lot of good things to say. I was glad he was going to back off of Leah. Not for me, but for Emily. She needed him now, and soon, so would the baby. He needed to be there for them 24/7.
I also knew he was right about me. I needed her. I needed her too much. I couldn't live without her.
Leah POV:
I rolled over and looked at the clock. It was now almost five! OK, Leah. That's long enough. I hauled my butt out of bed and forced myself to walk down the hall to the bathroom to shower. I stood there and let the water rain over me. It felt really good. I washed my hair and conditioned it and I even shaved my legs. I got out and dried off and wrapped the towel around me and just as I was walking into my room, Seth came out of his.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," I answered.
He just stood there, staring at the floor. I felt like he wanted to say something, but he was trying to decide if he should or not. He finally looked at me and asked, "Why, Leah? Why were you kissing him?" I could see the pain on this face. This was hurting him, too. He loved Embry I think almost as much as he loved me.
"He had to go away today. Josh took him to the rez up north for . . . werewolves like them. He's really scared and he doesn't want to go so he came here to talk to me about it. I felt really bad for him, and . . . we talked and he felt better and before he left, he just kissed me. It wasn't romantic at all, and you guys just walked in at the wrong time. I shouldn't have done it, and I pretty much feel like shit for hurting Embry like that. I hate myself a lot right now."
He had watched me while I was talking and now he put his head down. "I saw Embry today. He looks like shit. He wouldn't even talk to me."
"Thanks, Seth. That makes me feel so much better."
He looked at me then and smiled a little. "I just wanted you to know that . . . he's hurt really bad."
"Yea, I know. I tried to talk to him last night and explain . . . out in the woods. He yelled at me and then left, and I just couldn't . . . I couldn't move. I fucked up, Seth. Big time. And I'm not sure how to fix it."
"But you want to, right?"
"Of course I want to! I love him. I love him so much. I need to fix this, because I don't know how to live without him."
Seth nodded. "Good. Then do it."
I smiled. "That simple, huh?"
"Yep."
"OK, I will. Thanks, little brother." He nodded and went on downstairs.
I walked into my room and closed the door to get dressed. If it was that simple then I better get to it.
Embry POV:
I must have finally fallen asleep because when I woke up, it was dark out. I looked at my phone. Wow, it was going on seven! I sat up and wiped my eyes then stood up and walked out into the kitchen. My stomach gave a huge rumble. I hadn't eaten all day except for a few bites of that muffin this morning at Emily's. That's not good for a growing werewolf. I saw a note on the table, so I picked it up and read it:
Embry,
You were sleeping so soundly, I didn't want to wake you. I went out with your dad, but I ordered a pizza for you and put it in the fridge before I left. I knew you'd wake up hungry.
Love you, Mom
Wow, pizza suddenly sounds really good. I opened the fridge and opened the box and took out a slice. Oh yea. That's what I'm talking about. I took the box with me and sat on the couch. I picked up the remote and turned on the TV. I flicked channels while I ate a couple of slices, but I couldn't settle on anything, so I shut it off. As I picked up another slice of pizza out of the box, I remembered Leah and me, laying in her bed eating cold pizza out of the box. That's the night I told her about my plan to marry her. I dropped the piece of pizza back into the box and just sat there. I closed my eyes and brought up that memory of her sitting on the end of the bed, wearing my t-shirt, eating pizza and smiling at me. And after we ate, we made love.
I opened my eyes. I can't take it. Whatever her reason was for kissing Josiah, I have to get over it. I have to find a way to forgive her. I need her. I want her. I love her.
I picked up the pizza box and carried it back to the kitchen and put it in the fridge. I stood there looking out the kitchen window. Just do it, man. Just go talk to her. I hung my head and tried to stay angry. She hurt you. She could hurt you again. Josiah was gone now, and if he ever came back, I would kill the son of a bitch. Leah is going to have to understand that if we are going to be together, she can't be with him again, ever.
I grabbed my keys off of the table and walked out to the truck. I couldn't take it anymore. This pain in my chest was not going to go away. It was killing me to be away from her. I had to see her. I slammed the door behind me and as I walked toward the truck, I noticed there was a note under the windshield wiper. I pulled it off and unfolded it. It said:
Embry,
I can't do this anymore. I know I can't live without you, and it is killing me to know how much I hurt you. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I'll be where you left me.
I love you,
Leah.
I read that last line again. "I'll be where you left me." Where is that? The woods? From last night? I jumped into the truck and pulled out onto the street trying to think of the best way to get close to where we were last night.
Leah POV:
I laid there in the same clearing and looked up again at the night sky. The moon was up and it was a half-moon. If you looked real hard you could see the hidden half. I always thought that was cool when I was a kid. I wondered if Embry would find my note. What if he didn't go out to his truck until morning? Well, I would think of something else then. I would fix this. I had to. I had brought a blanket to lay on this time. The ground was getting colder, and even though I ran a high temp, it was a little uncomfortable after awhile. I had no idea how long I would have to wait. As it turned out, it wasn't as long as I thought it would be.
"Leah? Leah! Are you out here?" I heard him call. My heart started jumping in my chest. He came! He read my note and he came!
"Yes! I'm here!" I shouted back. I stood up and looked around. I wasn't sure which way he was coming from. Suddenly, there he was. He jogged into the clearing and stopped a few feet from me.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," I answered. We just stood there for a few seconds then I said, "I am so sorry, Embry. I am so sorry," I cried. I couldn't believe I had any tears left. I thought I had cried them all out.
"I know you're sorry, but you have to understand something. I have had a really hard time dealing with you and Sam, but he's my brother, so I backed off, even though when I saw you in his arms the other night I wanted to beat the shit out of him. Then I see you . . . and him, and, baby, I can't take it. If you're going to be with me, then you have to be with JUST me. Do you get that?"
I nodded. I couldn't speak. I was afraid to say anything, and the tears just kept falling.
He put his hands on my upper arms. "And you have to know that if he ever comes back here, I won't allow him anywhere near you alone. I know you trust him, but I don't."
"I know. I won't. I'm so sorry. I'm so . . . " I couldn't go on. A sob wracked my body and I lost it.
He stood there and stared at me for a few seconds then he pulled me into his arms. He held me and ran his hand down my head. "Shhh. Stop, baby. It's all over now. I'm here."
I finally cried it all out and pulled back to wipe my face. He stepped back and pulled off the t-shirt he was wearing and handed me his shirt. "Here, it's wet already. You might as well use it to clean up." Then he smiled at me.
I took it and smiled. I remembered that is the same thing he said to me on the beach that first night we talked and I cried all over him about Sam. I told him that and he nodded. "Yea, I remember," he said.
"Thanks," I said as I wiped my face. I inhaled deeply his scent from the shirt. I felt his arms come around me again.
"Listen, baby. I won't lie. It hurt like hell to see you kiss . . . but, my nosy big brother came to find me last night and set me straight." I pulled back and looked at him. "He made me see that you have a soft heart, and sometimes it leads you to do things that aren't always going to make me happy. Like with you and Sam."
I hung my head and closed my eyes. "He told me he is going to back off and let me worry about you and take care of you. From now on you are just his sister, OK?" I nodded. "I know it's been hard because of what you two had, but if we are going to move forward then we have to put all of that into the past and leave it there. Right?" I nodded again. "And this thing with Josiah, well, we are going to move on from that, too. He went north today, and I can't help but be glad that he won't be around to hurt you."
I started to open my mouth to protest, but he put his finger over my lips. "I know you don't think he would ever hurt you. But, you know from Dad that when he phases, he can't help what he does. I don't ever want you to go missing again. That almost killed me." I smiled and nodded. I could understand that.
He took my face into his hands and looked into my eyes. "Leah, I love you so much. You are everything to me. I've told you that over and over. I want to be everything to you. I want to be enough for you. I don't ever want you to go to anyone else for anything. I want you to come to me. Do you understand what I mean?" I nodded yet again. "And I don't EVER want to see you kissing someone else like that again. From now on, ALL of your kisses are mine. Got it?"
I gave him a big smile as I nodded. "Yes, Embry. I love you so much." He pulled me close and kissed me very gently on the lips. "I can't live without you, baby. I had this constant ache in my chest the whole time we were apart. It's finally gone." He kissed me again and I melted into his arms.
He pulled back and said, "Let's go home."
I smiled at him then looked up at the night sky and saw the half moon. "Embry, look at the half-moon." He looked up at the sky with me. "There's the half that's shining, and if you look real close, you can see the darker half. I was thinking while I was waiting for you, how that is like us. Two halves joined as one. Neither can survive without the other." I looked over at him and smiled.
"You got that right," he said. Then he put his arm around me and led me out of the clearing toward home.