Sonic's Last Bet

All the characters have fun differently. What happens when someone bets that they couldn't have fun with every other member of the gang and still keep their sanity? Insanity, thats what!

I don't own my own ass, much less Sonic. If I did own Sonic, this is the kind of stuff that would happen to Sonic on a daily basis. "Thank you Sega for owning me, and not selling me to Radman! Thank you!"

I also don't own Signs, Barbie, Rap music (thank God), Hanna Montana, or the symptom Tails has. (RACAIPS: Random Asshole, Crazy And Insane Psycho Syndrome). This disclaimer will make sense eventually.

Note: the more you review, the more you get to view. In other words, the more reviews I get, the more anxious I am to update.

Chapter 2: Cream the Rabbit

Sonic woke up the next morning and opened his eyes to find his room had been egged from the inside, using brilliantly hard boiled eggs. God, Tails is a retard! Sonic thought. Just then, he heard a crashing boom coming from downstairs.

"Speak of the devil, and you'll hear the flutter of his wings." Sonic said to himself. He slowly walked downstairs with his eyes closed, with the intention of easing himself into the sight. However, he didn't account for the fact that stairs are hard to walk down with your eyes closed, especially when a certain retarded fox tackles you like you're a giant salami. Tails tackled Sonic's legs, sending both him and Sonic rolling down the stairs to apparent serious injury.

"Tails, what the hell was that?" Sonic exploded. And then, he saw the living room. The ceiling fan had been torn onto the ground, there were half eaten meals smudged into the carpeting, Tails had managed to draw a picture of Sonic being decapitated on the walls, and worst of all, the TV was nothing but a sparking piece of metal.

"Oh my THIS PHRASE WHICH SONIC SAID HAS BEEN CENSORED OUT OF THE STORY TO KEEP A T RATING, Tails, you BEGINS WITH F destroyed my house, you ISN'T FANCY OR FRENCH CENSOREDtard!" All the while that Sonic had managed to use the F word at least 17 times in one sentence, Tails stared off into space, seemingly innocent and unknowing. "I'm gonna get some coffee." Sonic said as he began to go in the kitchen. Before he could though, Tails, having a sane moment apparently, said,

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Bad stuff happens in there." There was a long silence, and then Tails randomly screamed "I LIKE TURKEY!"

"Right... Tails, get some therapy, or a gallon of ritalin, or something!" While he was screaming Tails out, Sonic's last functional possession, his cell phone, rang strangely louder than normal. When he answered, he heard static, and a little girl told him that it meant that aliens were coming.

"No, you're in the wrong movie. You're looking for the Signs movie set, okay?" After he had ushered the lost actor off to her set, his cell phone rang again.

"Yo, Sonic." Knuckles yelled.

"I can hear you just fine you fricking retard!" Sonic yelled back.

"I was just calling to tell you the person you have to entertain today, and to let you know that they are going to put the recorders on you." Sonic thought back to his bet. He didn't really want to go, he would probably be bored, emberassed, or freaked out. He then looked down at Tails sucking on his shoe, and decided that anything would be better than this.

"I'll be right over." Sonic said. "Okay Tails, I've gotta go. You stay here and do whatever it is that you do all day." Sonic said. And with that, Sonic was out the door.

Sonic skidded up to Knuckles' house, tripping over a conveniently placed rock, and skinning his knees, and the tip of his nose. Overcome with enough pain to criple an ant, he began screaming loudly. He must have screamed for at least twenty five and three quarts of a minute (and 2.5 seconds) before he realized that Knuckles was a retard and that if he really was dying that he would just sit there. With that, he got up and went inside. When he stepped into Knuckles' house, he was not surprised with what he saw. There were entire scale model towers of the empire state building build solely of out rap CDs, and there was a 32x without a Genesis sitting by his TV. Sonic had not thought Knuckles smoked, but there he was, puffing away on a cigarette.

"Yo, knux man." Sonic said as he gave Knuckles the "pound". Which severely hurt his hand and caused him to roll on the floor in fain for exactly five seconds.

"Sonic, your assignment for today is Cream the Rabbit. Let me just run through the rules once again. The person has to personally state that they had a good time. I will be listening in to make sure that you don't break the rules, and you can't refuse them any activity, no matter how ridiculous and stupid, or you lose the whole bet. All right?"

"This is gonna be easy!" Sonic said confidently.

"Why don't you talk about how easy it is after you've done it for a little while." And then, Sonic sped out in the direction of Cream's house. Everyone had already been informed of Sonic's bet, and at least 75 of them were spying on him from the nearest tree. The other 25 were hunched around Knuckles' speaker listening in. They all knew what their part was. When Sonic got there, he greated Cream with a "Hey Cream, I'm here to play with you. So what do you want to play?" Sonic asked, unaware of just how torturous playing with a little girl could be.

"Well, first let's play Barbies!" Cream said. Sonic stared at her for a whole two minutes before calling up Knuckles.

"Knux man, I can't do this. She wants me to play Barbies with her!"

"Oh man. I'd better get over there with my camera so I can sell the pictures on eBay!"

"I hate your God damned guts Knuckles!" Sonic said as he slammed his phone, even though it was a cell phone.

"What's wrong Mr. Sonic, you aren't going to finish your contest with Mr. Knuckles?"

"Yes I am! I'm not a chicken, and I'm not afraid! Alright Cream, let's do it!" After at least half an hour of Sonic being the Ken doll, and Knuckles hiding in a bush photographing him, (and him and Cream using storylines which were like crappy rip offs of Seventh Heaven), Cream got bored.

"So now what do you want to do?" Sonic said, strangely bored out of his mind and mortified at the same time.

"I know, let's watch Hannah Montana!" Cream squealed.

"But you can do that without me." Sonic agrued.

"Are you turning down the bet Mr. Sonic?" Cream grinned. Knuckles had offered 190 dollars to the one who could make him lose it and throw in the towel. No literally, he wanted Sonic's towel. He also offered 199.99 to the one who could make him lose the bet. They all were determined to be the most obnoxious.

"Fine, I'll watch your stupid Hannah Montana!" The sad part was, Sonic started to enjoy it, and Knuckles filmed it. They watched Hannah Montana for at least two hours, and then Sonic got really freakin bored and asked, "So what do you want to do now."

"Well, how about we take care of my Chao?" She decided to stop being utterly cruel to Sonic, she just didn't have the heart to truly break him.

"Damn!" Knuckles said from the bush. "Cream's just not the one. Somebody else is gonna have to do it."

"We can hear you in that bush Knuckles." Sonic said as he threw a rock at Knuckles' head.

"OW, you retard!" Knuckles yelled.

"Hey Cream, how about we pelt Knuckles with rocks instead. That sound like fun?"

"Yeah, let's do it!" Cream half yelled half whooped. And so, they threw rocks of various size and resemblance to Michael Jackson at Knuckles, who simply stood in his bush and let himself be pelted with rocks. Finally, it was Cream's bedtime.

"Thank you Mr. Sonic, it was fun!" Cream said.

"We should do it again sometime." Sonic said.

"Thanks for coming."

"Thanks for having me. Come on Knuckles." And with that, Sonic drug the knocked out Knuckles back to his house. He thought about returning home, but decided to sleep on Knuckles' couch that night, lest he have to return and see what Tails had done to his house, provided it still existed.