A/N: Unlike my other chapters this is all pretty much one scene. Thank you to those who take the time to review, and to those who haven't…come on!
INTERVENTUS
Shepard left the engineering deck heading for the elevator feeling better than he had for a long time. Probably since my death, certainly since Horizon, Shepard reflected. Tali's gratefulness is intoxicating, better than ryncol and even rivaling hallex. Listening to Tali's praise, basking in her admiration; it almost allows me to pretend that my death never happened and nothing has changed. It's like being back on the real Normandy…with one significant difference. No, stop it, that's over. I need to focus on what I've got now, not on the past, on Ash.
Feeling his good mood slipping away Shepard desperately rerouted his train of though away from the past and back to Tali. Sure, Tali was understandably upset, what with being confronted with her father's death and then discovering that her father's actions had threatened the Flotilla, but I was there to help her through it…just like 'The Hero of the Citadel' would have been. And she appreciated my efforts on her behalf. Unlike Ash, who now hates me for what my efforts to stop the Collectors have forced me to do. No! Don't think about that, think about Tali…Yes, it's a refreshing sensation to be appreciated for my efforts again.
A rare smile of genuine contentment crossed Shepard's scarred visage as he recalled the quarian's profuse thanks and tentative flirting. To top it all off, Kelly was right…Tali does want to be more than just friends. And why not? She joined me without question after my resurrection and has stayed at my side despite her disapproval of my actions. No one else did that, besides Garrus but he doesn't count for this, not even the woman I thought loved me did that. So, since I was apparently wrong as to what love really was where Ash was concerned then maybe this thing with Tali is what love actually is? Worth finding out, I've got nothing to lose, after all.
Who knows, perhaps I can actually be the 'dashing commander' saving both the young woman and the galaxy again? Maybe I should get Mordin to help with the whole 'I get sick outside of my suit thing'? It would be nice to 'link suits' with someone not trying to kill me like Morinth always is.
Exiting the elevator and entering his quarters Shepard paused at the door feeling something out of place. Stepping into his quarters Shepard carefully surveyed the room but saw nothing amiss. Going to his desk Shepard feigned having accepted the room as secure while he stealthily slid his sidearm into the concealment of his lap waiting for the unknown disturbance to reveal itself.
Soon after Shepard hear the distinctive buzzing sound of a stealth field collapsing. Spinning around Shepard instinctually raised his pistol at the sound of the intruder, fingers tightening on the trigger ready to fire. Shepard's mind finally catching up with his conditioned reflexes and he managed to hold his fire as he recognized the master thief Kasumi. The look of surprise and alarm on her face at his startlingly fast reaction combined with the adrenalin surging through him made Shepard laugh despite the seriousness of having almost shot a crew member.
Pulling himself together and lowering the gun Shepard noticed Kasumi's glare, "Sorry Kasumi, nervous laughter. But what are you doing sneaking around my room?"
"I'm here to stop you." She replied evenly, her glare losing none of its intensity with his apology.
"Why would you want the Reapers to succeed?" Shepard asked, his confusion evident.
"Not that, idiot, your relationship with Tali. She's my friend and I'm not about to let you seduce her." Seeing his incredulous look Kasumi sighed before admitting her eavesdropping to Shepard, "Yes, I know about it… after all I do spend most of my time sneaking around the ship. I was just in engineering and happened to overhear you two."
"It has nothing to do with you, Kasumi. I'll do what I want to. Besides, if you were listening to us then you know that Tali started it; I'm hardly seducing her. Now get out of here." Shepard demanded in the cold, dangerous voice Kasumi had grown to recognize as a precursor of violence.
Steeling herself Kasumi refused to back down, "Tali's my friend, and I can't let you hurt her." continuing before Shepard could respond Kasumi explained, "She's young, barely an adult, and can't see past her girlish infatuation with you to see what you truly are. She loves who you were; Commander Shepard, 'Hero of the Citadel' not who you are; Commander Shepard, 'Butcher of the Terminus Systems."
"Enough! Tali has been here throughout to see what I've become and she still hasn't left me." Locking eyes with Kasumi's Shepard suddenly returned his pistol's aim to the thief's head, "I won't let you ruin this last thing that is left for me."
Shocked at Shepard's obvious willingness to execute her, though another part of her knew she shouldn't be surprised, Kasumi's calm demeanor shattered. Falling to her knees, quiet sobs wracking her body as Kasumi desperately pleaded with Shepard, "Please, no! I'm not trying to ruin anything, just let me explain."
Seeing Shepard's pistol waver Kasumi pressed ahead, "You know that Tali was unhappy here and about to leave before you shot yourself. She only rediscovered her infatuation with you after seeing you vulnerable and then as you 'helped' her at the trial."
Confused at the accusatory tone in Kasumi's voice Shepard responded, "Yes, I know that, but you're missing the point. I've been different since the suicide attempt; I helped Tali and am rededicated to the mission. Maybe in time, with Tali's help, I'll be 'the Hero of the Citadel' again."
"Do you really believe that?" Kasumi said, astonished at Shepard's seeming disconnect from reality.
"Yes! Who are you to say it can't be that way, bitch?" he demanded, infuriated at her obvious disbelief of his heartfelt statement.
"Shepard, you can't be that man again, he's dead. Your recent change isn't real." Seeing a vein in Shepard's temple begin pulsing Kasumi realized her candor might be the end of her, desperate to talk him down she continued, "I know how you really helped Tali at her trial, and it sure as hell wasn't your 'impassioned speech'."
"What, how do you…"
"I sneak around, remember?" Kasumi continued, hoping she was finally reaching whatever was left of Shepard's rational mind. "What Tali feels for you is based on a lie; that you are returning to being the man she loved. But that's not true and you know it. You murdered innocent quarians in a misguided attempt to help Tali; do you really think she could love someone who would do that?"
Seemingly having conveniently forgotten this fact Shepard's surprise at Kasumi's accusation was obvious. Struggling to compose a retort Shepard began, "Of course not, but if she doesn't find out and I continue to act like what I once was perhaps it will work. The fact remains that I did help Tali and that's a start, isn't it?"
Shaking her head sadly at the desperation tingeing Shepard's last, questioning statement, she countered Shepard's 'logic', "You know that's not true. Before the suicide you murdered Samara…don't be surprised I know, I sneak, remember… and after the suicide you murdered eighteen quarians. That is not the start of a change and we both know that if you had a second chance at either of those incidents you'd make the same choices again."
Seeing Shepard's head drop as he remained silent after this Kasumi continued, still wary of the gun in his hand even though it was no longer pointed in her direction, "I want to help Tali, but it also helps you. When she eventually discovers your true nature it will destroy her. And, from what I've seen, you couldn't survive her, your last, artificial link to normality, being destroyed. If this relationship continues it will ruin not just Tali but both of you."
"You're right, Kasumi. I'm not what Tali thinks I am, and that revelation could destroy both of us if I grew to rely on her." Shepard replied slowly as he lowered the sidearm onto his desk.
The relief flooding through Kasumi at Shepard's action and words suddenly vanished when Shepard raised his head to once again look at her. His previously defeated body language had given way to the familiar aggression and anger it usually spoke of. Shepard's baleful, red eyes bored into the concealment of her hood, his scars looking brighter than when Kasumi had confronted him.
"I will leave Tali alone. You have accomplished your objective in coming here; you have saved both her and me from…me." A horrible grin split Shepard's face as his biotics flared to life, "But I can't just let you sneak around spying on me without consequence can I?"
The reave field Shepard projected caught Kasumi before she had a chance to blink. Jerking her upright while throwing her arms out from her sides the biotic attack ripped a loud scream from her throat as it seized control of her nervous system. Involuntary muscle contractions held Kasumi upright as countless nerve endings sent a deluge of biotically induced signals tearing from her pain receptors to her defenseless brain. Kasumi's pained cry abruptly cut off as her lungs seized under the biotic assault causing her eyes to roll into the back of her head as the lack of oxygen forced her into unconsciousness.
Looking at her torment Shepard was pleasantly surprised by how the whites of Kasumi's rolling eyes seemed to glow from within the shadows of her hood as tears of pain filled her eyes reflecting the room's lights. Giving a short bark of laughter Shepard thought it fitting that in her punishment the meddling thief's eyes looked similar to Tali's naturally reflective eyes. After several seconds of watching the thief's torment Shepard turned away from Kasumi, reaching into his desk Shepard pulled a picture frame out placing it onto the desk's surface and settling himself down stare at it, ignoring the spasmodically twitching woman behind him.
Several seconds after Shepard ceased paying attention, though it felt like an eternity to the unconscious thief, the biotic field dissipated. Free from the biotic power that had ravaged her nervous system Kasumi's muscles, which had involuntarily forced her upright as they seized, finally gave out allowing basic bodily functions such as breathing to resume.
Regaining consciousness a confused Kasumi attempted to discern her surroundings as she lay sprawled on the floor. As memory slowly filtered back Kasumi recalled everything up to the blue flash of biotic power being released. Looking around Kasumi realized she was on the floor of Shepard's quarters…and that every part of her hurt. Unable to command her muscles at the moment the thief simply laid there, her view restricted to the featureless surface of the bulkhead mere inches in front of her face.
Slowly senses not overwhelmed by pain began to function as Kasumi's ears reported the sound of voices arguing coming from above her in the direction of Shepard's desk. Striving for the sanity a distraction from her pain would bring her tortured body Kasumi focused on the rapid back and forth of the conversation being held out of her sight.
"She's right, you know."
"Maybe, but what if I'm right and it just takes some time and practice?"
"It will take more than that, and you know it."
"Fuck off, it could go either way."
"Perhaps…but if she's right and it goes that way you'll be worse off than ever. I don't think the remote possibility of it working out is worth that risk."
"Fine, she's right, you're right, whatever. But it means I'm alone…again."
Her exhausted mind finally making sense of the conversation Kasumi realized it would not help her find her own sanity to listen as Shepard argued with himself. But there was nothing else to do as she lay on the floor unable to move, staring at the metal of the wall. Giving in Kasumi continued to listen to the two Shepards' discussion.
"Maybe not…this helping thing was working, after all; you just need to find someone who appreciates both your efforts and your methods."
"Yeah right, like that'll ever happen…Still, it's worth a try.
"That's the spirit."
"Shut the fuck up. I'll make the rounds later tonight; see if anyone meets that unlikely description."
Several minutes later Kasumi managed to regain enough motor control to begin crawling out of Shepard's quarters, the commander completely ignoring her whimpering form until she had reached the door.
"Kasumi, I trust that despite your sneaky nature you'll have the discretion to not mention this to anyone. After all, if there is a morale crisis I will be forced to…permanently remove…the crew members responsible for the disruption from the ship. Maybe from the airlock, it would serve Cerberus right to see how that feels." Shepard said, his voice chillingly jocular.
Dragging herself into the elevator Kasumi managed control her still twitching fingers enough to select the crew deck as her destination and activate her omnitool; nobody needed to see her like this Kasumi thought as she activated her stealth field, especially Jacob...he would become a 'morale crisis' if he found out.
"I'm good, Shepard." insisted Jacob once again, puzzled at Shepard's insistent badgering.
"Okay, if you're sure. But if there's anything, anything at all, you need help with don't hesitate to ask, I'm always here for my crew." The commander replied but made no move to leave the armory.
"Oh, Shepard, almost forgot, there is one thing…if you happen to see Kasumi could you send her up here? I haven't been able to get a hold of her for hours now and I need to calibrate the new SMG upgrades to sync with her retinal implants." Jacob continued, hoping any small task would get Shepard to leave him alone.
"Sure thing, Jacob." Shepard replied, stifling a laugh as he headed for the armory's exit.
"What the hell is with him now?" Jacob rhetorically asked the room.