Sonic's Last Bet
All the characters have fun differently. What happens when someone bets that they couldn't have fun with every other member of the gang and still keep their sanity? Insanity, thats what!
I don't own my own ass, much less Sonic. If I did own Sonic, this is the kind of stuff that would happen to Sonic on a daily basis. "Thank you Sega for owning me, and not selling me to Radman! Thank you!"
I do not own: Star Wars, Barnie, Weird Al's Songs, Lord of the Rings, or Different Strokes.
Thank you to all who voted in my poll to decide Sonic's fate, and the character who annoys him. There will be no next poll, as you all were annoying, didn't vote, didn't review, and don't reply to me. I couldn't even make the next chapter till you all got off your asses and votes, so to hell with that, I'm not patient enough. I will be chosing the characters from now on, and you can all screw yourselves for all I care. I don't care if I get one hit a chapter, I'm going to keep updating until it's finished.
Note: I got so few hits on this chapter, I am considering discontinuing the series, as nobody is voting in my poll to even decide who will be the char for the next chapter. If you think that it should go or stay, express your opinions on the matter to me through PM. If I receive nothing, I will discontinue the story.
Second Note: the list Sonic reads is not the actual characters or order they will be in, in the actual story.
Chapter 5: Jet the Hawk
Sonic woke up and the world was upside down. Or rather, he was standing on the ceiling. He was terrified that he was going to fall on his head, and screamed for about fifteen seconds. When he realized that he wasn't falling, he tried to pull his feet off the ceiling, and found they were superglued/cemented to the surface.
"Seven in the morning and already my day sucks!" Sonic screamed as he pulled harder. He pulled harder and harder, until finally, he came free... and fell and smacked his head against the floor. Tails thought that this was extremely amusing, and Sonic screamed,
"Did you cement me to the ceiling you CENSORED retard, Tails?" All the while, Tails was giggling uncontrollably, and Knuckles said,
"No, I did, but it wasn't THAT funny."
"Why the HELL did you do that?" Sonic yelled.
"Why the HELL were you born? What PURPOSE do you serve? And why in the CENSORED HELL does the author have this weired obsession with RANDOMLY using all CAPS words for NO good REASON!" Knuckles screamed.
Now just see here you little CENSORED, I'll use all caps whenever and wherever I want, and for no good reason when I fell like it. For as long as I am writing this story, I am god of this world, and can manipulate everything you do as I please! I boomed down from my keyboard.
"Changing subject before we all get smited." Sonic quickly said.
"Is smited even a word?" Knuckles asked.
"Just shut the HELL up and tell me who the next retard who gets to torture me is."
"Today, you can be tormented until you beg to be killed by... Jet the Hawk!" Knuckles said strangely proudly.
"Didn't he get fired by Sega for being druggie? He was always on like fifteen gallons of helium, crack, and meth at the same time." Sonic said.
"I didn't day that the character had to work for Sega..." Knuckles eyes started shifting.
"Let me see that list!" Sonic grabbed it. "Obi Wan Kenobi, Barnie, Weird Al, Frodo Baggins, Willis from Different Strokes! These are all people totally unrelated to me or my series! Wtf do you have them on the list!"
"Just shut up and go." Knuckles said.
"Fine. CENSOREDhole." When Sonic arrived at the address, he didn't see a house. He quadruple checked the address to make sure he was at the right place. What he saw was a structure made of four large cardboard boxes, with a shoddy sign reading a barely legible address. He walked up and knocked on the... cardboard, knocking it over.
"What the hell is wrong with you moron!" Jet the Hawk screamed as he came out and saw Sonic there. "Oh, it's you eh?"
"Yeah. So why the cardboard?" Sonic asked.
"I don't have a job anymore, so I sold my house so that I could keep buying my drugs for awhile!" Jet screamed.
"...That's nice... so what are we going to do?" Sonic said.
"Here, try some of this man!" Jet said, shoving some crack at Sonic.
"Uh... that's very kind of you, but I think I'll pass." Sonic said carefully.
"Suit yourself!" Jet then snuffed a large amount of the stuff up his beak (wtf, his beak?), and started acting like he was going to sneeze. He then preceded to sneeze a large amount of cocain mixed with snot all over Sonic.
"Just CENSORED kill me now!" Sonic screamed. Then, he saw thunderclouds gathering above him, and heard a large booming voice that said,
"If that is your wish..."
"Nevermind, I'm fine now!" he yelled at the clouds. Too late. A bolt of lightning arched down and struck Sonic full force, knocking him to the ground.
When Sonic woke up in the hospital, he saw Knuckles and Tails by his side.
"What happened?" Sonic asked.
"You got struck by lightning. How many times have I warned you not to insult the mighty one/author?"
"Uh... none?" Sonic replied.
"Shut the CENSORED up!" Knuckles yelled back.
"How did I survive?" Sonic asked.
"Well, your heart stopped beating. Good thing that someone was around to give you CPR!" Knuckles said.
"...You?" Sonic said slowly.
"Me? No, I don't care enough. It was Big the Cat!" And with that, Sonic fainted. When he woke up (for the third time that day), he was laying on the floor at Knuckles' house. When Knuckles saw he was awake, he walked over and said,
"You'd better get moving."
"Moving for what?" Sonic said.
"You only have until the end of today to get Jet to say that he had fun, and it's already three in the evening." Knuckles said.
"CENSORED!" Sonic rushed off to his doom. Despite how much he thought that Jet was going to try to make him take drugs again, all they did was race around for five hours on their hoverboards. At the end of the day, Jet was being retarded/high, and saying,
"Gee, t-t-t-t-t-t-th-th-th-th-tha-than-tha-thanks S-s-s-son-sonic for r-r-r-racing with m-m-m-m-abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz-e, it was f-f-f-f-GEE I WISH I WOULD DIE NOW!" And then, a bolt of lightning fell from the heaven's and vaporized Jet. Somewhere off in Japan, someone cried that there would be no Sonic Riders 3. But only one person. Everyone else threw a party. At the party, Knuckles commented,
"He never finished saying it."
"He was in the process, it still counts."
"Whatever CENSOREDtard." Knuckles said.
"Son of a CENSORED."