A/N: Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review, especially demonicnargles and noobbody for their many reviews, the feedback is much appreciated and I urge the rest of you to follow their fine example.
Remember: italics are flashbacks, memories, etc. while Bold type is a letter. There won't always be page breaks between memories and current events but pay attention to the font and it shouldn't be too confusing.
Lastly, this is a long chapter but I couldn't see a spot where it could be broken in two without compromising the continuity I feel the story benefits from. That said, this was a royal bitch to write with a lot happening; scheming, flashbacks, plot advancement. So, if anything is unclear please send me a message or a review and I'll explain it to you and, if several people ask the same thing, I'll clarify it in a later chapter as well.
PROPOSITIO
"Ash, how about dinner at seven tonight?"
"Sure Skipper, but I don't think a reservation is needed for the mess hall."
Laughing lightly John elaborated, "You're right, of course, but I thought perhaps we would go planet-side this evening."
"Is that safe? I know we dispersed the main red sand cartel concentrations but the Alliance hasn't declared the whole city secure yet." protested Ash.
"I know… but we'll be in the secured area so it should be safe enough, and if something does happen we're more than capable of taking care of ourselves until reinforcements arrive."
"True, but is that is your idea of an intimate dinner; one in which 'reinforcements' might be necessary?"
"I suppose not." John agreed, sighing disconsolately before making one last, hopeful attempt to convince Ash, "But is watching Tali sucking down a tube of paste or Wrex attacking his food like it somehow offended him really more romantic than a little combat?"
Struggling to remain firm in the face of John's pleas Ash countered, "I hate to admit it but you do have a point. Still, the risks of relaxing in a city still under martial law…" trailing off as she noticed John's deflating expression Ash sighed in resignation, "…might just be worth it. Fine, I'll meet you by the airlock at six o'clock."
His facing instantly lighting up John exclaimed, "Great! I'll make all the arrangements. Oh! Almost forgot...I know you like your armor but the restaurant we're going has a dress code that somehow overlooked including heavy armor, no matter how pink it is or how well it accentuates your brea-uh…physique."
Sitting in her room Ashley wept at the memory of Shepard playing through her mind. This was one of her favorites, though she couldn't quite figure out why that was, and therefore Ashley had forced herself to forget it.
After Shepard's death Ashley had retreated into her memories ignoring the necessities of the living. Forgetting to eat, drink, or sleep Ashley's detachment from reality reached the point where Garrus had found her unconscious one morning after she failed to report to duty. Calling in a favor he brought Ashley to Dr. Michel's clinic, so the Alliance didn't find out about her condition, where she recovered physically under the doctor's supervision.
Disgusted at the weakness her collapse indicated Ashley had locked her memories away, trying to force herself to forget Shepard. It was a slow process but eventually Ashley had managed to reach a point where not every random sound, smell, or sight would trigger a flashback to him. For almost two years since Shepard's death, which had come only days after their 'last supper' alone together, Ashley had refused to endure the pain this memory recalled as it reminded her of Shepard's loss.
At times Ashley found herself reflecting on this behavior; knowing intellectually that it was not a healthy coping mechanism but still unwilling to face her memories. Unbidden her military mind drew a comparison between her wounded emotional state and battlefield first aid; just like a broken bone that would heal in a twisted mockery of its proper form if left unset Ashley's coping mechanism ignored the cause of her 'injury' in favor of avoiding the pain that addressing the problem, just like setting a bone, would necessitate. This realization only served to further deepen Ashley's self-loathing at her inability to defeat her unseen enemy as she shied away from the pain and allowed her memories to scar over in a mass of ruined, poorly healed emotions.
And then came Horizon; the sight of his eerily glowing face tore her own scars open as her ability to ignore the past instantly failed her; leaving her once again with a festering, unhealed wound. With Shepard's return Ashley found she was either unable or unwilling to continue ignoring her memories. Following the logic of her first aid metaphor Ashley knew the next, necessary step in reaching equilibrium with her memories; to re-break the wrongly set bone.
With fresh determination Ashley had begun 're-setting' her memories; first she had allowed herself to remember moments of passion and physical intimacy until she could relive them while experiencing a sense of longing rather than the earlier sense of acute loss and self-recrimination at surviving the Normandy's demise while Shepard had died. Progressing from these thoughts to memories of the few opportunities they had to simply relax together during their brief relationship before they were torn apart by death Ashley had managed to establish a tentative balance between her sense of painful loss and pleasant recollection.
Testing this fragile détente Ashley, for the first time since her hospitalization, allowed herself to slip willingly back into the memory of her 'last supper'. Eyes shining with the tears memory of her loss brought Ashley smiled through them as her mind retreated into the past.
Ash walked out of the elevator and into the Normandy's CIC smiling at the welcome sight of John waiting for her by the airlock door. As she quietly approached him several details stood out demanding her attention. Most noticeable was John's nervousness as he stood there shifting back and forth while wringing his hands in a fair impression of Tali's nervous tics. The obvious signs of his discomfort could be seen by anyone, not just someone who knew John as intimately as Ash had come to. Proof of this could be seen in the second detail Ash observed; the dagger like glares John shot at the nearby helmsman as Joker attempted, rather unsuccessfully, to stifle his laughter at the normally cool and collected SPECTRE's nervousness.
Her smile widening at the pair's juvenile behavior Ash came to a stop several steps away from John who was too busy shooting deathrays from his eyes at Joker to notice Ash's stealthy approach. Oblivious to her presence Joker sarcastically remarked to John, "Yeah…real smooth choice for a date night, Commander. I bet it was next to impossible to get reservations to the only restaurant in the city that hasn't been bombed yet."
"Shut up, Joker or I'll make sure that pretty, young warrant officer you're always staring at gets a look at your extranet history."
"Okay, okay, I was just joking…By the way, do you have it?"
"Have what?" Ash interjected, having had her fill of their bantering and deciding to make her presence known.
"Uh…nothing, Ash." a surprised John managed to stammer over Joker's redoubled snickering.
"I see…" she replied suspiciously.
"Well, anyways, shall we go?" suggested John abruptly in an attempt to change the subject as he motioned Ash into the decontamination chamber.
Jerked from her recollection by the squeaking of hinges Ashley turned to look at the intruder who had interrupted her reverie. Ignoring Ashley's irritated glare Abby entered the room and pulled up a chair to where Ashley sat in front of her desk. Remaining silent Abby glanced at Ashley noticing her red, puffy eyes before turning her attention to the blank screen in front of Ashley. Still quiet Abby appeared to contemplate the empty page in front of her on the screen before finally returning her attention to Ashley.
Breaking the silence Abby spoke softly, "Still haven't written him?"
"…No." Ashley replied hesitantly.
"Why not?"
Tired of feeling isolated Ashley decided to accept Abby's help. Her shoulders slumping as tension drained out of her Ashley slowly began to speak, "I, I guess I just don't know what to say to him."
Drawing strength from anger at her weakness Ashley started to speak more forcefully, "It hurt so much when he died; and then he came back after such a long time and everything had changed. I know I've changed since then, though I still love him…but that's the problem. I love him, Commander John Shepard, Hero of the Citadel, my Skipper…my captain. What if he isn't that man anymore? I know I can't go through the pain of losing him again if he turns out to have become someone I can no longer love."
"I understand that fear, Ashley…but isn't it worth the risk? No offence, but look at you now; you're on forced administrative leave, losing weight because you don't eat, and we can hear you crying yourself to sleep every other night." Abby stated firmly, determined to force Ashley to listen to her words, "I'd say you're already acting like you've lost him a second time, so what do you have to lose in trying to get him back? Isn't it worth the risk?"
Her voice choking as long checked emotion escaped her control Ashley forced herself to articulate her fear, "My memories…I could lose those too."
"What do you mean?" Abby asked, worried at the downwards spiral the conversation seemed to be heading into.
"We only had a couple of months together before…" her voice cut off by a quiet sob Ashley swallowed hard and forced herself to continue, "…before he died. What, what if he didn't really love me?"
"Ash! How can you say that after all you two went through together? I'm sure he loved you." Abby exclaimed, alarmed by Ash's revisionist history.
"Exactly, we went through so much but never had a chance to really just be together. Our time was a series of brief collisions of need between seemingly endless trials. First the various up and downs of the Saren mission, then mother's death, the flood in Budapest stealing our one chance to slow down and really learn about each other, and finally the stress of our operation against the geth remnants."
"Ash…"
Cutting Abby off Ashley continued, "I've seen soldiers couple up before out of stress. Hell, it appears to be a universal reaction, I even overheard Garrus telling Kaiden a story about 'blowing off steam' with another turian before a mission. Maybe you're right and John does, or at least did, love me. But if I find out he hasn't answered my earlier letter because he discovered I was simply a replaceable stress relief mechanism my memories of our time together will be revealed as a lie. I know I couldn't survive that, Abby…so I haven't given him the chance to tell me that. I just can't risk it."
Shaking off her dismay at Ashley's revelation Abby gave her sister a last word of advice as she stood to leave Ashley's room, "I've told you this before but after what you just said to me I hope you can listen to me and trust my instinct. Even from the little I saw of your interaction with Shepard at mother's funeral I knew from the concern written on his face that he loved you. I can't guarantee that he still does, as you said a lot has changed since then, but as far as your memories go…I promise you they weren't a charade. And, if those memories are so good, isn't it worth the risk of rejection to write him again to see if it's possible to create more of those memories?"
Hearing the door shut behind Abby Ashley squeezed her eyes shut against both the tears that threatened to escape and the troubled present. Ashamed of the weaknesses her younger sister had pointed out in her character Ashley sought refuge in the solace of her newly rediscovered memories. As she slipped back into her reverie a smile crossed Ashley's face as she remembered a particular evening with Shepard.
John led Ash past the final sandbagged checkpoint into the relatively untouched government district of the city, their civilian clothing drawing curious stares from exhausted sentries. Rounding a corner Ash saw their destination ahead of them, the restaurant appeared to be operated by that particular brand of dedicated owner who considered it their sacred duty to remain open and carry on as if a devastating disaster had not just shattered the city. It was surreal; the patio seating area had been stripped of all furniture, probably for use in barricades, yet a uniformed maitre d' stood his post behind a makeshift desk. Entering the dining room Ash realized the restaurant didn't even have power; the decorative chandeliers had been hung with a wide variety of light sources, from flashlights to candles. Smelling the scent of wood burning Ash realized her earlier guess as to the fate of the patio furniture was wrong, it was being burned to provide energy to cook over.
Studying the nearly empty restaurant Ash was surprised to see that John's concern about wearing appropriate attire, which had seemed absurd, was correctly placed. The very few diners, who were outnumbered nearly two to one by wait staff, all wore their finest clothing; in her rather casual civilian clothes Ash felt embarrassingly informal. Looking over to John Ash noted that his suit, which had appeared ridiculous outside in the war torn streets, fit in perfectly here with all the others diners as they desperately attempted to pretend that their lives were continuing as normal despite all evidence to the contrary.
"Good evening, sir." the maitre d' greeted as they approached.
"Thank you," John politely acknowledged, "two for seven o'clock under Shepard."
"Of course, sir…right this way, please." The man replied as he continued the charade of normalcy by motioning for them to follow the server who would lead them to one of the dozens of open tables.
Once they had been seated and the hovering waiter left Ash looked at Shepard, a smile tugging the corner of her lip upwards, "So…Skipper, how did you manage to get a reservation here? And on such short notice too!"
" Quid pro quo…usually this restaurant imports only the finest food from earth and asari space but now, since all their supplies spoiled when power went out, they can only serve food that is donated to them. And today the food was donated by me; you could say it was sort of misplaced by the last supply ship that came to the Normandy."
"You mean we came all the way down here, through war torn streets, for military rations?" Ash asked, disbelief clear in her voice.
"It'll be better than on the ship, I promise, the chef here is the best on the planet and his usual customers are all the politicians. Look, its right across the square from the parliament building so the chef must be good if all the bigwigs come here." he said defensively.
"Fine, it's good to get off the Normandy anyways." Ash relented.
"I'm glad you agree, Ash. Plus…the restaurant's wine cellar has survived and, since I provided the food, the owner agreed to give us a free bottle of a vintage so good I can't pronounce it." John said, a smile growing on his face.
"Hey, Ash!" cried the voice of her sister Sarah from downstairs, "A package just arrived for you."
"Alright, I'll get it later." Ashley yelled back, annoyed at the interruption of her memory.
"Okay, but you better hurry before I open it myself." Sarah jokingly shouted.
Grumbling at the inconvenient timing of siblings Ashley halfheartedly yelled a threat at Sarah before sinking once more into her thoughts.
John had been right, the mundane ingredients of military supplies had been transformed by a master chef into something…not just edible but actually pleasant. Filled with the warmth a good meal, good company, and excellent wine can bring Ash was disappointed to notice that the bottle was empty. Seeing her disappointment John motioned one of the waiters for a new bottle which soon arrived.
Leaning across the table Ash, surprised at the price he must have incurred by getting a second bottle, whispered to John. "But didn't you say you only got one free bottle? You can't waste money on a second one."
"You're right…but I know you want more so it isn't a waste." John stated. "And if I can't afford it I can always pawn Wrex's family armor, I don't think he'd mind…do you?"
Laughing despite her embarrassment at John's catering to her wishes a smile curved Ash's lips as John reached his hands across the small table to hold her own while locking his eyes with hers. Despite enjoying the feel of his hands on hers, as well as his mere presence, Ash began to grow uncomfortable as John continued to quietly stare at her in a measuring way. As he looked into her eyes Ash wondered what he saw through that 'window into her soul', in his eyes Ash thought she could see a light dancing, burning with desire…but that had to be a reflection from one of the many candles lighting the room.
Finally John, much the Ash's relief, broke the silence, "Any word from your sisters lately?"
"No…" she replied hesitantly before deciding to open up and trust the man she loved with her true feelings, the vulnerabilities she hid from everyone else in fear that it would make her appear weak. "I haven't gotten a message from them in weeks. I know they want me there because of Mom's death but I need to be here."
"If you want some time off to see them I can put you on leave…the Reapers have waited for millennia, I think don't think they'll be here in the next week or two."
"Thanks, but I would rather be here; with you."
"That means a lot to me, Ash. I know we haven't been able to talk much since the funeral but, please, if you ever want to talk just tell me and I'll make time for you…" John said, thumbs slowly stroking the back of Ash's hands during the silence before he continued to speak in a soft, reflective tone, "I'll talk whenever you want but you need to talk to your sisters too. Family's too important to lose, and you need to patch up your relationship with your sisters."
"I know, and I will as soon as we get a break from the mission."
"Good…As much as I appreciate the military for taking me in and giving me a place after my family was killed on Mindoir I know the relationship with fellow soldiers is far from that of real family."
Hurt at these words about the weakness of bonds between comrades in arms, and therefore their bond, Ash pulled her hands from Johns and sat back in her chair, leaning away from him. Seemingly oblivious to the change in her body language John simply stood from his chair and reached into his pocket pulling out a small dark object as he slowly circled the table towards her.
Standing above her as Ash looked up at him in anger at his dismissal of their relationship John began speaking, his voice and demeanor screaming of a nervousness unknown in humanity's first SPECTRE, "We met on Eden Prime as comrades in arms and I helped you as a soldier should; protecting you from enemy fire and exacting revenge on the geth. Later, as I reflected on Kaiden's death after Virmire, I realized the thought of losing you was more painful to me than the loss of anyone else under my command. And then after the Council impounded the Normandy you were there to reassure me, comfort me, and encourage me to follow my beliefs by disobeying direct orders. And finally, there was the night we shared before Ilos which, while fun, was not officer behavior."
"John…" Ash objected, confused at the critical words he spoke of their relationship.
Continuing as if he didn't hear her John went on, "It was then, before Ilos, when I realized we were not comrades in arms anymore as our relationship no longer strengthened our combat performance but rather impaired my command decisions. I can think of only one relationship which is stronger than the bond forged in the fires of combat and that is family. So, since we are not comrades in arms, what are we?"
Reaching down John took hold of Ash's hands and gently urged her to stand. Once she stood in front of him John took a step back, his already considerable nervousness visibly growing. Ash cast her eyes downwards knowing what would come next; a man as dedicated to the service as Commander Shepard, the 'Hero of the Citadel', Council SPECTRE, 'Lion of Elysium', N7 Marine would do his duty. Fighting against her tears Ashley was struck by the darkly amusing thought that thanks to the second bottle of wine this was the most expensive breakup she had ever experienced.
Returning her attention to Shepard Ashley saw him take a deep breath to prepare himself for what he had to say. "I know where I want our relationship to go but I need to ask you if you want the same thing. Ashley Williams, wi…"
Explosions shook the building, chandeliers shedding their precarious alternative lighting as choking smoke and dust filled the air around the two marines. Training kicking in Ashley quickly drew her sidearm and spun to face the unseen threat outside the restaurant's shattered windows. Heading for the cover provided by the window's frame Ashley felt herself pushed from behind, a heavy weight keeping her pressed to the floor. Craning her neck around Ashley was able to see Shepard crouched protectively over her, his pistol scanning the impenetrable smoke for a target.
They remained in that position for several minutes with Shepard thwarting each of Ashley's attempts at standing up. Finally, a young Alliance soldier entered the building and pronounced the threat over, a car bomb had gone off by the government center across the street in an attempt by the cartels to assassinate the police chief as he traveled to his daily briefing with the governor.
"God damn it!" cursed Shepard, as he holstered his sidearm.
Continuing to swear loudly at the timing of the blast Shepard finally let Ashley stand back up as he suddenly got off her back and began frantically sweeping the floor with his gaze before finally stooping and picking up a small object he had dropped in the excitement. Looking at Ashley Shepard gave her a wry smile, admitting that she had been right about his idea of eating planet side. Turning Shepard shoved whatever had been on the floor back into his pocket as he headed for the exit, his previous monologue seemingly forgotten. Ashley followed him out; the only person in the room glad the bombing had occurred.
Emerging from the past Ashley took a moment to compose her conflicted emotions. This memory confused her; sure the dinner had been pleasant and it was one of the all too few chances they had to simply talk to each other but the end of the date was melancholy. Only at terrorist attack had prevented Shepard from ending their relationship in that restaurant striving for normalcy amongst tumultuous events. After returning to the Normandy duties had absorbed both Ashley and Shepard's complete attention so they never had a chance to finish the discussion before the Normandy was destroyed, along with Shepard. What was it about Shepard struggling through his nervousness to explain his decision to leave her in favor of a sense of duty that was appealing to her? It should have been depressing, but instead the memory filled Ashley with an inexplicable sensation of excitement that twisted her stomach and danced up her spine. Finally having composed herself Ashley pushed her musings aside and headed downstairs to collect the mysterious package before any nosy siblings took it upon themselves to open it.
"Thank you, Commander. My sister is safe again, thanks in large part to you. I won't forget that." Miranda said softly, conjuring a false vulnerability to her dark eyes to hide their normal calculating gaze. Motioning for him to sit Miranda continued to weave her tale of half-truths, "Helping me to reach Oriana before Eclipse moved in on her…I never expected you to help me so much. I know you have little liking for Cerberus and it means a lot that you helped me despite my role as your 'Cerberus watchdog'."
"You're a crew mate, Miranda, I'll help you however I can." Shepard grinned, pleased at the normally icy woman's heartfelt thanks.
Managing to stop her growing smile from becoming predatory Miranda instead chose to act embarrassed at Shepard's magnanimous offer. Knowing the first part, the hook, of her plan was successful with Shepard's addiction to gratefulness making him interested in her Miranda moved to the second part: distancing herself from Cerberus.
"Thank you, Shepard…that is very kind of you." Taking a dramatic breath which, incidentally, inflated her already prominently displayed bosom Miranda went on, "I'm afraid I haven't been entirely truthful with you, Commander."
"Oh?" Shepard inquired, his expression hardening instantly.
"Yes…Remember the arrangement I told you I made with Cerberus to protect Oriana?" Seeing him nod in acknowledgement Miranda continued, "I have reason to believe the Illusive Man is considering terminating that arrangement. Let me explain, my contact, Lanteia, is not Cerberus but rather my personal agent. Cerberus contacted her and informed her of Eclipse's activites concerning Oriana. Obviously, the Illusive Man was threatening me."
Seeing Shepard's face soften Miranda began reeling in her catch. Letting a single tear slip down her smooth cheek Miranda wiped it away harshly once she was sure Shepard had noticed its descent. Turning her tear filled eyes to his face Miranda drew her catch in closer. "The reports I have been sending the Illusive Man have not been…complete. Since Horizon I have not reported several of your more questionable actions, for example the suicide was reported as a combat wound."
"Why would you do that?" asked Shepard, surprise evident on his face.
"Because if the Illusive Man knew about that incident or other questionable decisions you made it would mean I had failed in my mission, and the Illusive Man doesn't tolerate failure." Miranda snapped, knowing Shepard would become suspicious if she acted completely out of character. Slipping seamlessly back into her previous, vulnerable role Miranda whispered, "And I didn't want him to cancel Project Lazarus."
"Why would that matter to you? I'm sure the Illusive Man would have simply transferred you to some other secret project, clearly you're valuable to his organization." Shepard asked.
"Because it means I would lose you, John." Miranda said, almost too quietly to hear before once again compensating for that admission with another perfectly timed retreat into her icy demeanor. "And I have spent far too much of my valuable time on the small chance you can be successful to see it wasted because of your own stupidity."
Leaning forward, his head bowed in thought Shepard slowly reached out to take Miranda's hands where they rested on her thighs. Bringing his gaze back to her face Shepard missed the triumphant smile that flitted across Miranda's face at his movements. Mastering even that small show of jubilation at the landing of her catch Miranda visibly broke down, pulling herself into his arms while burying her tear streaked face in his shoulder as she began to weave a wider web for her prey, "Somehow the Illusive Man found out that I was covering for you and he used Oriana to remind me where my loyalties should lie. And now that you know about this my mission to supervise you has failed completely; without my achieving success Cerberus will turn Oriana over to our father. I-I don't know what to do."
Remaining silent Shepard held Miranda reassuringly as she waited for him to either avoid her web or become entangled in it. Finally her spoke, "Miranda, I wish you had told me this earlier. I could have helped you; we didn't need to let Cerberus have Oriana back."
Frustrated at the man's occasional stupidity Miranda risked dropping another hint, "I wish I had told you as well, but I didn't know you would even care enough about me to help…I have to think of something to do."
"Is Oriana still on Ilium?" Shepard asked, unable to see Miranda's satisfied expression at his question hidden behind her dark hair.
"Yes, Lanteia's watching her under Ceberus supervision for the next couple of weeks until the relocation is finalized…so close but still out of reach." Miranda moaned, not trusting him to make the last leap without a helping shove.
"Maybe," Shepard mused before sitting up straighter and pulling Miranda up to face him, "But I have a plan to put her within reach."
"Really! How?" Miranda asked, wincing to herself at the disturbingly genuine excitement that filled her voice.
"The plan has some rough edges but I think, with your help, it could become something workable. First, we call in the debt that asari cop owes us for dealing with Samara and have her temporarily detain most of the Cerberus agents watching Lanteia and Oriana. Next, with Mordin's help, I contact Kirrahe, an STG officer who owes me for pulling his ass out of the fire on Virmire. He gets a crew of salarian STG men and Liara's local asari muscle assembled to impersonatie Eclipse. They grab Oriana from Lanteia, who I assume you can covertly contact about the plan; while the remaining Cerberus operatives are too weak to interfere. The observing Cerberus personnel will report that Eclipse, presumably hired by your father, took Oriana. Finally, Liara gets a new identity set up for Oriana."
Once again reminded of the reason Shepard's career had been so successful Miranda was momentarily shocked at the otherwise unstable man's impeccable operational planning and his ability to weld disparate resources into a coherent mission. Letting a touch of genuine hope and appreciation show Miranda kissed Shepard deeply. Pulling away she briefly enjoyed his surprised look before pressing her advantage, "Thank you, Shepard. But what about after that? Oriana's family, I need to make sure she stays safe and a simple new identity won't work forever. I need someone, hopefully more capable, to replace Lanteia and keep an eye out on Oriana."
"Way ahead of you, Miranda." Shepard said smugly, grinning at her, "STG can hide her on Omega where Aria owes us for revealing that merc plot to dethrone her. Then, because Aria will only be trustworthy for a short time, when the immediate Cerberus heat has died down we move Oriana to the Citadel where Garrus' C-Sec contacts, Thane's underworld contacts, and my own resources left over from the hunt for Saren can watch over her. If Cerberus or your father do manage to find her there will be plenty of warning for her to move again to another location prepared during her stay on the Citadel."
"You're right…John. What you're doing for Oriana, and me…it goes far beyond what an officer needs to do for his command." Once more summoning her vulnerable, hopeful mask Miranda decided it was time to strike against Jack's hold on Shepard, "It isn't right, John."
"What isn't, Miranda?"
Stuttering she took careful aim at what she had discerned as his weakness, "That you do all this; saving the galaxy and still finding time to help your crew and no one helps you in return."
"It's okay, I get what I want out of it as well." Shepard responded quickly, struggling to stop himself from agreeing with her.
"No, it isn't okay! You deserve someone who helps you back, just like family would." seeing Shepard tense at the word family Miranda continued to push against that weak point, "What have you gotten for your troubles? Jack uses you but is too damaged to help anyone else, Kelly and Tali are too naïve to understand your pain, even Ashley refused to forgive the changes resurrection forced upon you."
Once the words condemning Ashley's behavior left her mouth Miranda froze as Shepard tensed against her, his gentle grip on her hands becoming painful. Keeping the pain from showing on her face Miranda continued, seeing victory within reach, "The galaxy takes and takes from you without giving anything back. Jack is just an example of that, all the time you've spent helping her for a mere 'thank you' and a quick screw; you deserve more than that for your efforts...I can give you more than that. Why should you have to be strong for everyone else? Let me help you, John. Just like I will do anything for Oriana because she is family I could do the same for you, if you will allow me to. I'll support you, trust you even if something you do goes against my opinion…I will never abandon you."
Turning to face her Shepard stared into her eyes as if attempting to discern any subterfuge in her proposal. As a smile cracked his grim face Miranda knew he hadn't been able to see the lurking falsehoods through her mask of sincerity. Eager to claim her new territory Miranda reached a hand up and traced the scars on Shepard's face, trailing her hand down to his pectorals Miranda pushed Shepard down onto his back atop the couch as she moved to straddle him. Leaning forward, pressing her breasts against his chest Miranda placed a series of light nips and kisses up the side of Shepard's neck until her mouth reached his ear. Breathing heavily so he would feel her breasts heaving against him Miranda whispered into his ear, "John, please call me Miri."
An hour later Miranda walked a grinning Shepard to her door straightening his uniform while placing a tender kiss on his cheek and admonishing him, "And stop smiling, damn it!"
Ensuring the door had closed behind the departing Shepard Miranda collapsed on her rumpled bed, dizzy with relief. Shepard had danced to her tune exceedingly well, hardly any of the subtle hints she had expected would be necessary to guide him in the direction of developing a plan that would secure Oriana from Cerberus had been needed. Almost on his own Shepard had planned to remove Oriana from Cerberus control, and thereby also free Miranda from their control. Additionally, in Shepard's master plan blame for Oriana's disappearance would be placed at her father's door burning the bridges the Illusive Man had recently begun rebuilding with him as a threat to keep Miranda in line. And, best of all, she now exercised enough control over Shepard to show the Illusive Man enough progress in her original mission that Cerberus heat would die down for a while allowing her to continue to play both unwitting sides, Cerberus and Commander Shepard, against each other to her advantage.
Ashley looked at the small package with concern, there was no sender address on it and when questioned Sarah said it was dropped off by a salarian in civilian clothing rather than by someone wearing a uniform belonging to one of the recognized delivery services. Her omnitool's scan for hazards coming up negative Ashley made sure her sisters were out of the area before nervously opening the package. Inside the small 15cm box Ashley was relieved to find only packing material rather than the half expected bomb or toxin. Reassured, Ashley reached into the box blindly fishing for what the packing material was protecting. Finding a smooth, hard surface Ashley pulled an OSD from the box and plugged it into her reader. Instantly the message sprang to life in the familiar orange glow of a haptic interface screen.
Location: Unknown
Time: Unknown
Sender:Unknown
Encryption:Unknown
Frowning at the useless information displayed in the message heading, the rest of the message being encrypted strings information, Ashley set her omnitool to run through a decryption program that matched the message's code with stored algorithms in the omnitool's database of previously used codes. Standing back and forcing herself to wait Ashley was relieved to soon hear a chiming indicating a matching algorithm had been found. Looking at the now deciphered message Ashley began reading.
Location: Unknown
Time: Unknown
Sender: Col. Kirrahe
Encryption: STG protocol Virmire 346-J4
Operations Chief Williams,
I have recently been put in contact with Commander Shepard through a crew member of his who I have worked with in the past. The Commander requested my aid with an operation and, figuring I could not refuse the galaxy's savior, I provided the necessary assistance. That, however, is not my reason for contacting you. Because of my helping Shepard I, and the rest of the team that volunteered for the mission, have been discharged from service for straying from our assigned mission parameters. Knowing this would likely be the outcome of my actions I used a contact in STG headquarters to acquire an object I believe will be of interest to you before my security clearance was revoked.
I apologize for not sending this to you several years ago but I did not understand its potential importance to you, additionally it is classified and I wished to avoid being discharged until now when my retirement was imminent anyhow. Let me explain; after Virmire STG, under Council orders, assigned a team to monitor Commander Shepard because of the disruption his talk about Reapers could potentially cause. Due to my brief encounter with the Commander I was selected to head the task group. Following his death over Alchera my team combed the wreckage for clues as about the attack but found nothing. We found out later it was because Cerberus and an unidentified asari had beaten us to the site and stripped it of evidence, as well as taking the Commander's body.
What little was recovered I sent to STG headquarters for analysis, among those artifacts was the enclosed object. I did not fully understand its presence on a ship of war but recently I have been informed as to its likely origin. Once the Commander's return was verified STG reinstated the Shepard task group under the command of my handpicked, trustworthy successor, Capt. Rentola. Between the Captain's research into Commander Shepard's pre-death personal records and background intelligence on human behavior provided by my ex-colleague on the Commander's current crew I now understand the potential import of this object to both Commander Shepard and you.
I apologize for not sending this to you earlier but, as stated, I neither understood its true significance nor was I willing to jeopardize my career until now. Remember, just because Salarian society is different from your own culture does not mean I cannot empathize with you. Chief Williams, I owe you, Lt. Alenko, and Commander Shepard for my own life and the lives of my team on Virmire. I will never be able to make good on that debt to Lt. Alenko but I have settled with Shepard recently and this package, I hope, will go some distance to fulfilling my obligation to you.
Astonished by the long forgotten comrade's message Ashley set it aside and reached further into the packing material; searching for the strange object which had been in STG custody for over two years. Brushing against a rough surface Ashley closed her fingers around the object and pulled the small mystery into view. Looking at it Ashley saw a small, black box. Made of plastic the hard shell was scored and pitted from where it had impacted other pieces of the Normandy's debris. Hanging in several places were small, tattered fragments of what appeared to be a cloth that once covered the protective plastic shell softening its feel.
Turning it over Ashley was struck with a familiar sense of excitement…suddenly it clicked. This was the box Shepard had been holding in the restaurant. Opening the battered cube Ashley's jaw dropped. In contrast to the ruined exterior the inside of the box had remained pristine; black silk similar to the shreds clinging to outside covered the interior in a smooth, light swallowing darkness that called to mind the firmament. And there in the center of the black, as if consciously echoing the presence of celestial bodies in space, was a silver ring surmounted by a single diamond that sent the splintered light of the spectrum wheeling across the field of black fabric.
Ashley began trembling, though her grip upon the damaged box never wavered. Setting it to the side reverently Ashley opened her computer screen while never taking her eyes off the shining gem. Fingers slowly, hesitantly tapping the keyboard Ashley's gaze never left the box and its contents. Remembering a fragment of Tennyson her fingers picked up speed flying across the interface as doubts fled her mind.