Disclaimer: Don't own Tekken and blah, blah, blah.
Chapter 7: We Are Back
The lights come on, and spotlights are set on center stage. The man known as The X Factor 92 is on center stage in his seat. Across from his is the notorious mercenary known as Kazuya Mishima. The crowd cheers.
The X Factor: YES! We are finally back with another episode of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.
Kazuya: It's about damn time. What the hell were you doing, you wretched human?
The X: Go kill yourself. I have a life you know.
Kazuya: What life? You don't get none anyways.
The X: Go to hell! That was a low blow, you stupid jackass!
Kazuya: Let's play Who Wants to be a Millionaire.
The X: Hey you son of a bitch, that's my…
The lights go out and spotlight focuses on stage.
The X: Damn you! Anyways, for $16,000 who is the final boss of Tekken 6?:
Azazel
Jin Kazama
Kazuya Mishima
Devil
Kazuya: So easy, it's A, Azazel.
The X: Correct!
Audience applause.
The X: For $32,000, What is the name of that god awful robot that Jin Kazama made that serves as the bonus fight in Tekken 6?
Devil Jin
Jack-7
NANCY
Angel
Kazuya: Do I look stupid to you, punk ass? It'sobviously C, because only my queer of a son would come up with a name so ridiculous.
The X: Correct. You got a point though. Who the fuck names a robot a menacing as that NANCY? What a pansy!
The X and Kazuya start laughing their asses off.
Kazuya: aha…hahahaha…oh lord! What a fucking moron!
Jun comes in and smacks Kazuya and The X with a frying pan.
Kazuya and The X: Ow! That hurt!
Jun: Serves you right.
Jin: Tell them mommy!
Jun: Here's a cookie son!
Jun hands Jin a cookie, which the latter proceeds to devour.
The X (to Kazuya): And you call me a punk ass!
Kazuya: I know right?
Jun pulls out a .38 handgun on the two.
Jun: What was that?
The X: Nothin'...hehe…don't kill me.
Jun: Like I thought.
Jun exits the stage.
Kazuya: Glad that's over.
The X: How the hell can you put up with her?
Kazuya: The sex makes it worth while.
The X: You probably turn into Devil cause you can't get it up on your own.
Kazuya: Fuck you!
The X: You may like that, but I don't swing off that side of the fence know what I'm sayin'?
Kazuya's eyes turn red, angered.
Kazuya (as Devil): Get on with the game or I'll snap you in half!
The X: Aiight, Aiight!
The lights focus on center stage.
The X: For $64,000, Which of the following characters is the CEO of G Corporation in Tekken 6?
Son Goku
Jin Kazama
Bruce Irvin
Kazuya Mishima
The timer starts counting down. 60…59…58…57
Kazuya: Um…let's see…um…I really don't know this one.
The X: WHAT? You of all people should know this for God's sake!
Kazuya: Whatever, ask the pathetic humans!
The X: But you are…
Kazuya: Say it and I will kill you!
The X (rolling eyes): Ugh! Audience please help him out. On your voting pads pick an answer to the question on display! Vote now.
The results come back as follows:
Son Goku (0%)
Jin Kazama (0%)
Bruce Irvin (0%)
Kazuya Mishima (100%)
The X: It's obvious now ain't it? So…
Kazyua: Like I'm going to listen to the humans.
The X: But you are…
Kazuya: THAT'S IT!
Kazuya shoots The X with eye lasers.
The X: AAAHHH! YOU SON OF A…
Kazuya: Get over it! I want to use a 50/50.
The X: For gods sake! Computer take away two wrong answers, leaving the correct answer and one wrong answer.
Options B and C are eliminated.
The X: Well, no lifelines left. Choose! You got 15 seconds left…and counting.
Kazuya: A, final answer.
The X: Oh my God! Could you be any stupider? It's D you dumbass! YOU were the head of G Corporation and still are.
Kazuya: …Oh…shit.
The X: Now I see why Jin is so slow. How much fucking weed did you smoke last time?
Kazuya: Shit I don't know!
The X: Get off my stage. NOW!
Kazuya transforms into Devil and flies away.
The X: Fucking idiot. Now let's get another contestant up here.
The camera pans to six of the other contestants: Anna Williams, Nina Williams, Ogre, Bryan Fury, Bruce Irvin, and Baek Doo San.
Put these WWE Superstars in the order in which they were inducted into the Hall of Fame, starting with the earliest:
Stu Hart
Stone Cold Steve Austin
Eddie Guerrero
The Briscoe Brothers
The X: Time's up. Who got the fastest time?
Anna Williams: 7.0 seconds
Bruce Irvin 7.3 seconds
Ogre 7.4 seconds
Bryan Fury 8.0 seconds
Baek Doo San 8.8 seconds
Nina Williams 9.0 seconds
The X: Unfortunately, Anna Williams is the winner. Come on up! Here is the correct order for the answers:
C) Eddie Guerrero (2006)
D) Briscoe Brothers (2008)
B) Stone Cold Steve Austin (2009)
A) Stu Hart (2010)
The end of game alarm sounds.
The X: We're out of time for today. Thank God!
Anna: Hey! No fair!
The X: Blame her!
Camera turns to reveal Getemono, the executive producer, and fellow author.
Getemono: Yup!
The X: High five!
The X moves his hand at the last minute.
The X: Fuck you!
Getemono kicks him in the nuts.
The X (groaning): Can't you take a joke? Oh God!
Getemono: Haha! Take that jerk.
The X: Wait till the cameras stop rolling. Till next time, we out. Somebody get me some ice!
Fade to black.
Yup! I'm back by popular demand. Sorry to keep you all waiting. It's just that life is crazy. Damn. But, I'll try to post more often. Submit questions. R&R. Later!