Disclaimer: Do not own Millionaire or Tekken.
Chapter 8: Sex and Violence
The Millionaire tune in the background, the camera comes up to the stage, where two seats and computers occupy the area. The camera pans to the Millionaire where The X Factor and Anna Williams are sitting.
The X: We are back with the lovely Anna Williams here on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?". Welcome, inferior Williams sister whose beauty pales in comparison to her always superior sister, Nina. You are a pathetic excuse of an assassin, and you should kill yourself.
Anna: Hey that's not nice! I should kill you!
The X: You sister made me read it, and she wrote it. She got a job here as a producer. That and she said if I didn't read it, she'd cut my balls off.
Anna: That bitch!
The X: I know right?
Nina: It's true. Why do you think father loved me so much?
The X: Let's play "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"
The lights go dark.
The X: For 100 dollars, What happened to Nina Williams when she did the movie scene in Anna's story in Tekken 5?
A. She blew up the tower.
B. Her costume started to fall
C. Jump off a cliff.
D. Killed Steve Fox
Anna: B, final answer.
The X: Correct! For 200 dollars, What was the name of Nina Williams' spin off game?
A. Death Before Dishonor
B. Nina Williams: The Beginnings
C. Death By Degrees
D. Tekken: The Nina Williams Story
Anna: Unfortunately, C. Why didn't I get my own spin off?
The X: In that order: Correct, and you didn't get a spin off because…
(The X is handed a card from Nina and reads aloud)
The X: "You are a filthy, nasty whore who has every known STD, and you have no friends."
Anna (pulls out a gun): You bitch! I'll kill you!
Anna starts shooting at Nina. Nina takes cover and pulls out a machine gun. Bullets are flying everywhere. The audience takes cover under their seats. The camera cuts off and a message is displayed:
The show is experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.
20 minutes later…
The X and Anna are back in their seats. The X is surprisingly unscathed, while Anna has a broken arm, cuts, and a black eye.
The X: You got fucked up by Nina! In all seriousness, why the hell was I turned on by that?
Nina: Because you are a pervert!
The X: Am not!
Nina: Then why do you have all of this porn on your laptop?
Nina displays the contents on the Jumbo-Tron.
The X: What the fuck are you doing with my computer? And the audience or readers do not need to see that! Besides your sister is addicted to porn!
Anna (as she is watching it on her iPhone 4 and touching herself): Am not!
Nina: Somehow, I'm less than surprised.
The men in the audience hoot and holler as well as the male contestants Lee, Lei, and Bruce as they watch Anna. Bryan just looks on disgust. Lei looks at Bryan.
Lei: What are you gay?
Bryan: No you one-inch-dick-having-ass faggot! I'm a fucking cyborg! I'm not supposed to feel that way.
The X: All dudes watch it anyway. Hell, even Wang watches it, as old as he is!
Wang is watching porn on his Sprint Evo and touching himself as well (A/N: Sorry about the unintentional mental image there and ahead), his shame in clear view. The X is retching, as are the audience, Nina, and the contestants.
The X: Goddamn it Wang! Cover up your wrinkly balls! My god I think I'm gonna be sick!
Wang: I have not many years left. Let me live a little.
The X: You're right, because you got about five seconds to get out of here or I will slit your throat and watch the dust come out!
Wang: Fine, I'll put it away. I suffer from ED anyway.
Wang puts his phone (and his shame away).
The X: I didn't need to know that! Dammit! I hate my fucking job!
Anna: So that's why he couldn't get it up!
The X: What the fuck? I didn't need to know that either!
The X grabs a bucket and vomits.
Nina (retching): My god! That bitch is sick! She will fuck anything that walks!
Meanwhile, Getemono is laughing her ass off, as she positions the camera.
Getemono: I can't wait until this goes live.
Bryan: We are live, harpy!
Getemono: I meant internationally!
Bryan: Accepted. For that I won't kill you…yet!
The X (to Anna): I will give you 2000 dollars if you leave now and not come back!
Anna (takes check): Fine.
Anna pulls a piece a paper from her chest and writes her phone number down. She gives it to The X.
Anna (giggles): Call me.
She leaves the stage.
The X: Oy vey! God kill me! Let's get on with the fastest finger question. Put these Tekken fighters in order by which game they debuted in, starting with the earliest game.
A. Paul Phoenix
B. Armor King II
C. Jin Kazama
D. Alisa Boskonovitch
The X: Time's up let's see the answers in the correct order:
A. Paul Phoenix (Tekken)
C. Jin Kazama (Tekken 3)
B. Armor King II (Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection)
D. Alisa Boskonovitch (Tekken 6)
The X: Who got it in fastest time?
Bryan Fury: 4.5 seconds
Lei Wulong: 4.7 seconds
Bruce Irvin 4.9 seconds
Christie Montiero: 5.2 seconds
Wang Jinrei: 5.7 seconds
Julia Chang: 6.0 seconds
The X: Bryan you won. Come on up.
Bryan takes his seat.
The X: For those of you who don't know Bryan Fury well, Bryan was…
Getemono (off screen): Shut up! Get to the questions! We have limited time, you ass!
The X: Aiight! Aiight! Let's get on with the questions. Tell us something about yourself, Bryan.
Bryan: I hate you!
The X: Fair enough. I'm sure you know the rules. You have to answer each question correctly to get to the next level; there are two milestones, at questions five, and ten. After you pass a milestone, if you get a question wrong, you lose all of your current money, and get what money is available at the milestone question. 15 questions lead to the million dollars.
Bryan: I know the three lifelines, I GET IT! I've watched this show!
The X: Okay, let's get started!
The lights go dark.
The X: For 100 dollars, which of the following has appeared in one canonical game of Tekken?
A. Lei Wulong
B. Jun Kazama
C. Kazuya Mishima
D. Yoshimitsu
Bryan: It's B, that prissy Jun has only been in one game besides TTT.
The X: Correct! For 200, who does Bryan Fury (you) share his fighting style, Kickboxing with?
A. Lili
B. Asuka Kazama
C. Lee Chaolan
D. Bruce Irvin
The clock starts ticking. 29…28…27…26…
Bryan: Hey, dumbass, I don't share my style with anyone! HE STOLE MINE!
The X: He was in Tekken 2, you weren't (hint, hint). So you stole his!
Bryan: I stand by what I said. I'm cooler and have more fans, so he stole mine.
The X: What kind of fucking logic is that?
Bryan (holds shotgun to The X): Don't sass me faggot!
The X: Give me your goddamn answer!
Bryan: It's C, final!
The X: Well you must be retarded because it's D, Bruce Irvin. He's a contestant for God's sake!
The X points to Bruce.
The X: You cyborgs must not have brains.
Bryan looked at The X with pure anger. Until The X figure out what he had said to Bryan, he just sat there and kept laughing. Then he looked at Bryan.
Bryan jumped up, punching the table, almost making it break.
Getemono and Nina: DAMN!
Bryan grabbed the chair he was on, pulling it up, he swung it towards The X's face, smashing it into the ground. Bryan smacked him, over, and over, and over, breaking The X's bones in his ribs and his arms, but Bryan was going to let him live, to suffer.
The X screamed out in pain, with every single blow.
The X: Shit! That doesn't bend that way dammit!
The audience sat there laughing, pointing. The security (Devil Jin and Devil Kazuya) stood by, watching the fight, drinking punch and doughnuts.
Devil Jin: Hehe, hey look. Someone is fighting someone else in the game room.
Devil Kazuya: Poor fuck, that's Bryan Fury.
Minutes passed, The X was wounded badly. He lay in a large puddle of blood over the glass floors, barley able to stand up.
Getemono: X, we can't afford an ambulance! Get up and finish the show!
The X crawls into his seat, barely able to speak. The end of game sound plays.
The X: Th—th—that's all…the…time…w-w-we have today. Ugh!
The X passes out.
Getemono: Join us next time on "Who Wants To Be A millionaire?".
End Chapter