Chapter Five

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"We're going on an outing," Joker announced out loud, spraying various bits of food across the table. He hadn't been to sleep in two days due to his inability to take his eyes off his son for even a second and hadn't left their base of operations in even longer. He was getting jittery and after killing the delivery man with a spork, he decided it might be time to get some fresh air. Of course he had to include Sev seeing as the boy wasn't allowed outside in his former place of residence and Joker wasn't going to allow that to continue. Gotham was his beautiful playground and his son deserved to play in it.

He smiled brightly at his announcement and looked around to see how well it was taken. A quick glance saw that only Dopey had the right expression of excitement on his face as he began to wordlessly gesture but it was Sleepy that was the first to look at him. The boy had been gazing sleepily into his bowl of cereal while also nibbling on it every now and again. It was disgusting and soggy but hey, to each his own. Joker himself had mixed candy within his Fruity Rocks. At the very least, he wasn't being blinded by the other's blue hair. Instead it was a less retina damaging purple that was almost… subtle.

"… outing…? Like outside?" he repeated slowly as though he never heard the word. Joker threw his spoon at the dumb fuck, honestly, did he speak in Chinese? Sleepy yelped as the spoon slapped him wetly in the forehead and sent him falling backwards and out of his chair with the force that Joker had thrown the metal object. Severus giggled quietly at the young man's pain despite the fact that his eyes were practically closed whilst he nibbled on his healthy breakfast of poptarts. Ha, at least his son had a sense of humor!

Joker reached over to ruffle the green hair then looked around the table, catching sight of the old man. Joseph hadn't shifted from behind his newspaper and he knew that the old man knew he was staring at him. It was obvious that Joseph was hoping against hope that the paper would somehow make Joker not exist which, of course, it didn't but it was cute that the old bastard was trying.

"Yes outing as in outside. Little J is starting to look a bit… gray and besides, he needs to have some funnn and smile a bit. Maybe meet some kids," Joker shrugged as he glanced to his son. The boy looked at him for a moment before smiling brightly. He knew that most kids liked to be taken outside to play and walk and whatnot but the boy looked way happier than he should at such a simple thing. He hadn't even said that they were going to buy him anything, just allow him fresh air. Joker smiled back but silently vowed to strangle the fuck out of the bastard that (had not) cared for his son… if his little boy hadn't already killed him.

Before Joker could get too far into his dark thoughts—then again when weren't his thoughts dark?—Dopey jumped out of his chair with a silent cry of joy and begin to dance around in an odd little jig that caused the little green haired boy to grin just slightly especially when the blond haired man turned in direction and smiled nice and large at him, holding out a square hand for a good dance. Severus gave a little shake of his head and hesitantly stuck out his tongue before sucking it back in with a faint blush adorning his little cheeks. Dopey pouted but then shrugged and danced out of the kitchen and presumably into his room to get changed into something appropriate.

"You know… I think that guy might be a bit uh… loooooney," Joker noted absently. Sleepy gave a tired giggle and finally dragged himself off the floor and towards the bathroom, mumbling something about mean bosses and milky spoons.

"I had thought that kettle would stop speaking so negatively about the pot," Joseph mused aloud as he finally lowered to paper to level the other with a raised brow and bemused smirk. Joker stuck out his tongue to the graying old man and scooped up his son.

"Let's go clean up and see if Daddy can wash his hair into a different color—wigs can be very itchy," the green haired man said to his son, darting out a hand to tickle the concave belly. Severus laughed loudly and squirmed in a weak, unhurried attempt to get away from his father.

(**)

"Huh…" Joker wasn't sure if somehow had slipped some psychotics into his morning OJ or if his son had actually changed his hair color without even a look of concentration. Severus looked up at him, head tilted all the way back so that the silky black locks fell over his shoulder and practically down his back. His adorable onyx eyes blinked slowly at his father who now had dark blond hair tinged with just the barest hints of green.

"Oh… I likes black hair but if daddy wants yellow browns hair…" Severus scrunched up his face a little bit then Joker was staring at long dirty blond hair that was the exact same shade as his but his hung straight rather than in the natural curls that Joker had. Well then… that certainly explained the whole green hair thing and the talk about magic.

"I metamorphusmagee… metamorpim… I change myself with no wand like Teddy," Severus attempted to pronounced the words but it was obviously beyond his childish tongue. Joker pondered on this for only a second—who the fuck was Teddy?—more before he found himself not caring why his son was so awesome. It saved him from having to dye the boy's hair and possibly making it all fall out.

He scooped the little boy up, much to Severus's delight and carried him off to his large walk-in closet. He had allowed Severus to dress himself. The boy ended up picking a pink shirt with some kind of glittery shit on it—had he bought that in the hopes that someone found it so bright that they stabbed themselves?—and some subtle purple pant with the polka dotted chucks he had taken a liking to. Severus seemed to have shown no regrets for dressing in his bright way so Joker made no complaints about it either… okay, he made a mental note to burn that ugly shirt but otherwise, he didn't protest. He set his son down and meandered to his own clothes which were actually a lot. He went outside often enough as a pedestrian and hundreds of other things to have a very extensive wardrobe.

"Daddy… can… can I dress you?" Severus's small voice whispered almost too quiet for Joker to hear him. The currently blond man glanced over his shoulder to see the boy not really looking at him, suddenly shy.

"Have at it kid," Joker encouraged. He wasn't scared of colors and seeing the boy smile so brightly…

(**)

Teddy blinked rapidly as he tried to figure out if he was seeing things (not that his mind had ever attempted to blind him) or if his boss was actually dressed in a fucking rainbow. No literally, his shirt was a long sleeved yellow and green Waldo-esque shirt, his jeans were blue, one sneaker was red and the other orange. And to top it all off his scarf was purple with little silver bats. Some part of the purple haired boy's mind noted that he had never seen the demon in a man's body look so young or even human… it was definitely unsettling.

"I hadn't thought that you owned such… extensively colored items," Joseph intoned with a small smile on his lips. The younger man shifted the little boy on his hips and gave him a rude gesture that Severus would probably be copying in but a few hours.

"I could always have little J go to your closet and dress you old man—see how many colors he can get to uh brighten you UP," Joker drawled out his mostly serious threat as he set his son down. Even with his mostly amused attitude, Joseph paled at such a thought. He didn't have many colors, this was true but children had the uncanny ability to make colors appear. So, as a very wise old man, Joseph decided to pick his battles and presented the dark green coat that the little boy would have to wear to go out. Severus grinned slightly at it and put his arms through as he was instructed, standing still for the grandfather like man to adjust it, zip it and then tie him up in his purple and silver bat decorated scarf.

"Aww Little J and I are matching!" Joker cooed in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"Where's Z?" Severus whispered, looking around.

"Who the Hell is that?" Joker countered, looking around. He had a hard enough time keeping up with the codenames, no way in Hell was he going to start catering to little imaginary friends.

"Oh, there he is!" Severus pointed just as Dopey came running around the corner. The blond haired man stopped some feet away, looking as though Severus had dressed him in his altogether too bright collection of clothing but he was just as excited for this outing as anyone else so no one made a comment as they started to go outside.

(**)

As Joker gazed upon the extremely large indoor playground, he had to admit that he was impressed. When he was a kid, the playground was really a fancy ditch some ways from his house. He fondly remembered cut hands, almost lost toes and sprained ankles. While he was absolutely sure that that ditch built character and taught only the strongest would survive, he was rather giggly that his son wouldn't have to experience that. This monstrosity was obviously expensive with more than thirty employees simply watching over the kids alone and another twenty overseeing any of the activities such as the large-ish rock climbing wall. It was both protective parent and child heaven. And that was another thing, the place was absolutely seeping with running, screaming, laughing little shits that were pretending to be children.

Joker glanced down at his son who wasn't even looking up at him. Instead Severus was clutching tightly to his pants, dark eyes extremely wide filled with wonder and apprehension. Even with that slight fear, Joker realized that this place was going to make Severus's life for years to come. Joker grinned brightly although not too large as he didn't want to cut the boy's fun short before it even started by revealing his distinctive scars.

"What are you waiting for, go knock yourself out kid," Joker encouraged the shying child. Severus bit into his little bottom lip and shook his head slightly. Joker rolled his eyes and pulled away from his boy, stooping slightly to undo the coat, snatching away the hat and scarf and stealing the little gloves. Then he stood back up, looking at his ruffled boy with his little coat open to reveal the sparkly shirt.

"I…" Severus started, glancing over at the children then glancing away just as quickly as he realized that he was being watched by curious eyes.

"C'mon GO!" Joker cackled giving his son a firm push in the back while also grabbing the back of the jacket. Severus flew forward, jerking out of his coat and into the fray of children with a startled yelp. A little hand could be seen as the boy was taken away in the tide.

"I'm trying to figure out if I found that funny or disturbing," Joseph shook his head with a sigh and went towards the adult section to secure a table for their little group. Dopey and Sleepy were left to keep careful eyes on the blond haired tyke, Dopey seeming much happier to do this task.

"Hilllarious old man. He needed a little uh push so I gave it to him. Hee ha," Joker giggled, bundling the boy's stuff so they wouldn't be lost. There was a small bounce in his step because he couldn't wait to get around those other parents and rub it in their collective faces' just how much better his son was than their retarded children.

(**)

Joseph sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was an easygoing guy, always was but he was quickly remembering why he hated children with the obvious exception of little Severus. Unlike the sticky, screaming mass of little bodies, Severus was a polite, well-behaved little tyke. He was smart too with eyes that seemed to stare far into a person's soul, much like his father's eyes but Severus's were different due to the… innocence that still resided in him. Joseph looked up from his liquor cleverly disguised as a juice bottle marked 'Daddy' and quickly spotted the boy he had been looking for. He had found a quiet little spot and seemed to be playing with a little girl with bright red hair. He wasn't saying much, just nodding and moving the blocks around their little fortress. It seemed that the little girl was a bit of a chatterbox because Severus was nodding an awful lot not that he seemed very bothered by it.

"Oh ho, what's happening uh, herrrre?" Joker suddenly appeared on his side. Joseph remained unruffled, quite use to the younger man figuring out that he could be very quiet when he put his mind to it. The graying man turned his full attention back to the little boy he was starting to like and frowned as he noticed a rather big boy closing in on the two. Severus was the first one to notice him, obviously frowning while the girl chattered on.

Hm, this was going to be interesting…

(**)

Severus yelped as his father pushed him into the crowd of children, letting out a cry as he was snatched out of his jacket at the same time. It was only by luck that he didn't land face first on the ground, that and the dozens of little bodies that acted as a sort of cushion and then, just as quickly, as a tide. Severus relaxed into it so he wouldn't be hurt and soon found himself by the monkey bars. He knew that he wasn't nearly strong enough to swing from bar to bar and then there was also the fact that the children on the bars appeared very… aggressive. They yelled and kicked at each other like animals and Severus wanted no part of that so he turned his head away and attempted to find something he could do without gaining or giving any bruises. Almost immediately, he spotted a spilled set of blocks. They were similar to the ones he had at home but were larger. Quickly the young boy walked over to the blocks and immediately started to set them up.

"I thought I be the only one," a voice said to his left. Severus flinched slightly and glanced over his shoulder to see a girl around his age, maybe a year older with bright red hair and sparkling green eyes. She smiled wildly at him as though she had known him for years and plopped across from him.

"So you likes the blocks too?" she continued on as though he had answered. Severus nodded silently, not sure if he was meant to speak.

"I jus moved here because my sister was hurt real bad and they no can take care of me no more so they sent me with my mommy's sister and my mommy's sister's wife. They real nice and all cause they always take me here. They like my real mommy only now I have two!" the girl squealed happily, throwing up her hands. Severus nodded once more, still unwilling to speak. On one hand he had chosen this spot to be alone but on the other, the girl seemed really nice and he wanted to make friends.

"My name Lily by the way," the girl introduced herself, sticking a tiny hand between the gap of blocks. Severus stared at it for only a moment before grasping it and giving a quick shake.

"Sev'rus," he mumbled, glancing down at the block he held in his hand. Lily gave a short giggle and peeked through the blocks at him.

"So you can talk!" she laughed loudly, rocking backwards until she was lying in a curled ball of delight. Severus stared at the odd girl completely bewildered. There weren't many children in the establishment that couldn't talk whether in complete sentences or fragments. Perhaps he just looked like he couldn't talk… was that bad? He looked back to the girl who had picked herself up and was now rounding their tower to pull him into a hug. Severus immediately stiffened, not sure what he was meant to do. His daddy showered him in hugs, scooping him up in his skinny arms and tossing him into the air if he suddenly felt like it. Z loved to randomly pull him into hugs before running off silently giggling. Teddy sometimes gave him awkward pats on the back and tight hugs like he was afraid to let him go while Grandpa Joe would give him soft, warm hugs. But those were all the hugs he got. He never thought someone his age would hug him and if they did, he didn't think it would be by a girl he had just met.

"Let go," Severus whispered, letting out a grunt as he was abruptly released and allowed to fall to the ground.

"I'm sorry, sometimes I forget that some people no like hugs," Lily apologized immediately and helped him in a sitting position.

"It's okay… just ask next time," Severus smiled slightly as he fixed his pink shirt. Lily grinned and they went back to their tower. Lily began her chattering again and, now that Severus listened, it wasn't so bad. She talked about anything that crossed her little mind and seemed content to not have any response seeing as it was really unlikely that Severus would answer her. He nodded and shook his head every now and again to show he was listening. The little boy suddenly lifted up his head as he sensed… something coming towards them. He scanned the crowds carefully and spotted the thing that gave him a bad feeling.

It was a boy, he looked only a bit older than the two of them. His face was twisted with anger and his eyes were glaring at him as though he was the reason for any and all troubles. And he was making his way over towards them. Lily didn't see him, was too busy talking and playing to notice the bundle of meanness closing in on them and Severus wasn't quite sure what he was meant to do. Should he look for his daddy and leave Lily? Should he stand up to meet the boy head on? Or should he just go back to playing and hope that the boy just went away on his own?

"Lily, we should go," Severus whispered to the girl. Lily stopped speaking and cocked her head to the side in confusion. Before she could ask him what was wrong, their tower of blocks was knocked down with a heavy kick. Lily let out a cry of surprise and the two children scrambled to their feet, staring at the boy who had destroyed their hard work.

"What's wrong with you!?" Lily shouted at the taller kid.

"You shut up," the boy ordered then turned his glare onto Severus. The magical boy frowned as the bully pointed a finger at him, obviously wanting to pick a fight with Severus in particular but why was he bothering Severus? He hadn't done anything to the boy!

"Why you wearing pink? That's a girlie color, are you a girrrrl?" the boy taunted.

"I not a girl, I like this shirt!" Severus defended, glaring at the boy for daring to insinuate that his shirt was anything but his.

"Yeah cause you're a girlie girl! Pink and purple are girlie girl colors," the boy continued.

"You shut up you fat head! These MY colors!" Severus shouted, face burning red with anger. The boy frowned deeply and stepped forward, giving the younger a hard shove to the chest. Severus twisted around and landed on his face, pain spreading from his nose to his cheek. Moisture was beginning to drip from his nostril and onto the play mat. It smelled like the sticky stuff he had beaten out of his father. Oh, he was bleeding.

"Awww, you gonna cry girlie girl!?" his tormenter continued. Instead of tears, Severus felt a smile begin at the edges of his lips. A laugh was bubbling in his chest, desperate to get out. He wasn't sure what was so funny but he wanted to laugh and shriek and howl in joy. He wanted to jump to his feet and beat the boy until he laughed like Severus wanted to.

"I'm going to go tell on you, you bully!" Lily shouted, her little feet pounding on the mats to get to an authority figure. Severus paid no mind to this, instead he continued to think. He wanted to make the boy smillle like he was as he slowly climbed to his knees. His large, large smile was hidden under his curtain of hair, his head bowed and his back still to the boy. He curled a small hand into a discarded, very large marble that felt hard and smooth in his grasp. He was going to make this boy laugh and smile and laugh and smile and laugh and smile and—

"Hey! You leave him alone!" A young voice suddenly shouted. Severus snapped from his thoughts and released the cool glass as though it were on fire. He couldn't make the boy smile and laugh like he wanted to, no, no. He didn't know what it meant but he knew that it was bad and he couldn't do it when someone else was around. Severus slowly raised his head, ignoring the blood now falling onto his lips and down his chin to see another boy placing himself between Severus and his bully. This one was probably closer to Lily's age.

"Does the girlie girl have a boooyfriend?" the bully sneered.

"You better hope he doesn't!" the hero warned with a raised fist, "Cause if I'm his boyfriend, I'm gonna make you leave him alone."

The large boy paled drastically as he seemed to realize that someone was going to physically attack him despite his size and threatening aura. He turned his beady eyes to the boy in the pink shirt then looked to the hero of the story threatening to hit him. Obviously not wanting to be hurt, the bully came to the conclusion that this wasn't worth it so he turned tail and ran off. Once he was sure that he was gone, the boy turned around and faced the other boy with his head bowed.

"Hey, don't let that idiot get you down. My name is Richard," the hero whispered, falling to his knees in front of the boy. He reached out and rested his hand on a thin shoulder, "I like the color pink too."

"You don't think my shirt is girlie?" the bullied boy finally spoke quietly. His fingers twitched by his side, playing with the hem of his sparkly shirt. He raised his head just slightly, onyx eyes taking in the boy who had stopped him from making another laugh and smile. He looked to be close to Lily's age with tanned skin and bright blue eyes. His short black hair laid lifelessly on his head.

"Nope! It's bright and nice. It's sorta like yellow and I really like yellow," Richard continued, giving him a firm grin. It fell just as quickly as he spotted something on the ground then looked back at the boy he saved. Oh, he had hoped that he had stopped the boy from hurting the pink clad one. He reached forward and pushed back the soft dark blond to reveal the small face and used his other hand to tilt the head up more.

"Your nose is bleeding and your cheek…" Richard trailed off to pass clumsy fingers across the already bruised cheekbone. The boy jerked slightly then giggled in the same second. It was an odd reaction but Richard didn't comment as he tried to ensure that nothing was broken.

"Oh what happened to you sweet pea?" a new voice crooned, concern coloring the tone. Richard looked up from what he was doing to see the little girl that had been with the boy now accompanied by two adult women. The one who had spoken was a curvy blond haired woman with bright blue eyes and a frown marring her pink painted lips. She squatted down in front of the injured boy, clicking her tongue in concern as she took in the minor damage. The second woman had fiery red hair that matched the little girl's. Her acid green eyes scanned the surroundings with slight disdain before turning to the children. She parted her own red painted lips to speak but was cut off by another person coming to the scene.

"Do we have a uh, problem here ladies?" a slick voice questioned. Pamela stiffened and slowly, very slowly turned her head in the direction that the voice had come from. She had hoped that it was just a part of her imagination because why in the world would that monster be in this building? Oh God, was he about to hold them hostage in order to coerce the Batman out of hiding? Pamela faced the Joker out of makeup and without green hair but it didn't take away the memory of those poisonous onyx eyes burning a fire into her mind. It was sketched like an ugly scar into her memories and she could only hope that the man who had impersonated him met a swift death.

"Oh uh, um…" Harleen spoke first, "Our daughter said that her friend was being bullied by another kid. I was just uh… is he yours?"

No. Pamela felt her eyes widen as she thought of the prospect that the Joker of all people was to be responsible of a kid. She looked down to the bleeding boy with his sparkling onyx eyes that reminded her of the fiery ones that promised her something that would have her pleading for Hell. Only difference was that these eyes were set in a child's face and were… untouched she supposed. She looked back to the probable father and saw the adoration and pride in his gaze as he looked to his son.

"Yup, he's a chip off the ole block. He okay?" the Joker continued with what sounded like actual concern in his voice.

"Well I'm not really a doctor but he feels fine. Nothing broken and only a bruise. Pammy here is an actual doctor. Can you take a look at him puddin?" Harleen requested, standing up. Pamela hesitated for just a moment, wanting nothing more than to grab her niece and simply disappear but he was stopped as the green haired man placed a strong hand on her arm.

"C'mon lady, don't leave my son hanging," the Joker smiled charmingly even though his eyes spoke differently. Pamela sniffed at the very thought that she'd do something as heartless as ignore a child in pain even though her mind was set on leaving as soon as she ensured the boy's health. Pushing Lily into her lover's arms, she stooped down to the boy and gazed at him for a moment, not moving to touch him.

"How do you feel?" she inquired first. The boy stared at her silently before shrugging.

"Any pain?" she continued, undaunted. The boy shook his head. Pamela hummed and gently moved his head this way and that, brushing her fingers against his cheek and then his nose. Nothing felt broken and the most she had gotten out of him in a way of response was a brief smile. Okay, the boy wasn't dying or anything, it was time for her to—

"Dick, did something happen?" a concerned, suave voice asked. Pamela mentally groaned and turned her head up to see none other than Bruce Wayne. The billionaire was walking up to the small group, eyes raking over them briefly before focusing on the only kid without an adult.

"Dick?" the Joker repeated before giggling silently to himself, shoulders shaking with amusement. Either he wasn't heard by the muscular man or he was thoroughly ignored as the man stooped down to the little boy's level and looked him over for bruises or something similar.

"I'm fine Bruce. There was this bully that pushed this boy so I helped," Dick smiled brightly, obviously proud of himself.

"A regular old Batman in the making," Joker snickered as he finally pushed the red haired woman out of his way and gathered his son into his arms. Bruce felt his body stiffen as he heard the words, his mind going through a thousand scenarios of someone knowing his secret before he glanced up at the man who had stated those words. Hey, he recognized him! It was the man that accused him of being not only an idiot but a pedophile lookalike.

"It's you again," he sniffed, standing up and pulling Dick to his side. The blond nodded wistfully and looked him up and down. It made him feel very dirty, almost as though the man was undressing him with his eyes especially the way his red tongue came out to lick across thin lips. Fuck, he was prey in this man's eyes and that just wasn't a good thought.

"Come on Lily, it's time to go home," Pamela suddenly announced, grabbing her niece's hand. Before they made it even a step forward, she was met with four walls of resistance. The first, not too surprising was Lily.

"Oh please Aunt Ivy, please let us stay! I was havin so much fun with Sev. And now that we have anotha kid, we'll be safe from meanies. Please can we stay?" Pamela would have been fine denying her this and simply making up for it with ice cream or something but then she felt Harleen wrap her arms around her middle and press up behind her in a tight hug.

"C'mon puddin', we just got here. Let da kid have some more fun hm? I'll make it worth your whilllle," Harleen whispered in her ear. Pamela frowned, what kind of smuck would she have to be to give in simply because a sexual favor was in the balance? A fucking dumb one, that was the answer. She opened her mouth to tell her lover to kindly stuff it when a tiny hand touched her arm and she saw Joker's boy with his pleading onyx eyes.

"Please can Lily stay a while longer?" he murmured politely. So unlike his father. Speaking of which, the fourth wall of resistance came from the unexpected blond haired man who fluttered his eyelashes.

"If you let them stay, you can sit with me and my… family. We have a kickass table with liq—or… daddy and mommy special juice," the Joker winked obviously. Okay, Pamela wasn't really one to turn down drinks and she wasn't so sure how she could endure the pouting of not only Harleen but of the her little red haired niece so, despite not liking the clown very much, the green eyed woman found herself nodding. Lily let out a cheer of happiness quickly followed by Richard's same cry. Severus was silent but he did wiggle in his father's grasp until the man released him and ran towards his newly made friends. The three scrambled off and disappeared in the throng of children, leaving the four adults alone.

"C'mon you three. We can get plastered while boasting about our children. I already made three men stomp off and one lady cry," the Joker stated proudly. Pamela sighed heavily and glanced at the slightly grinning billionaire. Oh if only that rich idiot knew just who he was finding entertaining…

(**)

To Be Continued