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RPOV

There had been something funny in the air all night. It was tense, and I hated it.

I missed the days when everything was natural. Easy. But it had been too long, and there was too much that was secret.

I hated having Dimitri here.

He had left me. For her. I had no reason to hate her, but I did. I absolutely and positively did.

Dinner ended quickly, and Adrian, the kids, and I had all gone upstairs. Adrian and I put the kids to bed, and we went to my—our room.

We sat on the bed. And just talked.

"Are you okay, Rose?" he asked, his jade green eyes staring into my brown ones.

"No. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that I can hide everything I'm feeling, hide the truth until they leave," I told Adrian, staring right back at him.

"I hate to say this, I really do, but I think Belikov deserves to know."

"I don't. He left me broken. He didn't call, didn't come back. I don't want him to come back for the kids. I don't want to have to see him every day. Or, worse, he wouldn't come back. He'd leave again. I couldn't deal with that, couldn't let him do that to the kids. To everyone. I just… can't Adrian. You have to understand," I was so emotional lately. Seeing Dimitri brought everything to the surface.

I still loved him. So much. I would never be able to let go.
And I hated knowing that he didn't feel the same way anymore. I would have given anything for him to have felt the same way… but he just… didn't. And I couldn't fix that.

"You still love him," Adrian stated.

I sighed, and looked at the ceiling. "Yes."

"Why? Why him and not me?"

"I don't know. You don't know how much I wish it were you, Adrian. That would make it all perfect. We could be happy… but I don't love you that way. It's not enough."

"I know," he sighed. I laid down, and so did he. I laid my head on his chest, innocently. There was nothing sexual between us.

And I knew that, most likely, there never would be.

I fell into a deep sleep.

Adrian didn't enter my dreams. He knew that I'd rather be alone.

When I woke, sun was streaming into the room, Adrian was gone, and Kassi was cuddled up beside me, with Ange.

They were sleeping, or Ange was. Kassi was awake.

"Ange had a nightmare. We came in here because Uncle A—I mean Daddy was awake. He had Mase and Mike," Kassi whispered. "I wanted to stay with Ange, because she needed company."

Kassi was such a little sweetheart.

"You're such a good girl, Kassi," I whispered back, kissing her forehead.

"I thought I heard voices," the door opened, and Adrian stood there, with a paper bag in hand. He handed it to me, it was full of doughnuts.

Ange woke up, and we dealt out the food.

"Where is everyone?" I asked Adrian.

"Lissa wants to go shopping. So you've got an hour to be ready and in the car with the kids," Adrian smiled. "She told me to tell you."

I sighed. "Awesome. Just… awesome."

"Mike and Mase are both bathed, and they ate, and they're both running around," Adrian told me.

"Thanks. I'll do Ange and Kassi, and we'll be ready to go soon."

Adrian walked out of the room, leaving Ange, Kassi, and I to finish eating.

"Mommy?" Ange asked.

"Yes, darling?" I responded automatically.

"Why are we pretending Adrian's daddy?"

I took in a sharp breath. "Because it's not right to not have a daddy, and we just want to tell everyone that Adrian's daddy, to make it simpler."

Ange was smart, and so was Kassi, but they were little, so they couldn't see through me, and they bought it.

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding.

We ate, and I got them ready for shopping. Everyone was going. I just wanted to stay far, far away from Dimitri and Tasha. For many reasons.

I didn't really want to go, but I had to. To keep up appearances.

We were strapped in the cars, and we took off to the mall.

We wondered through shops, never really splitting up.

Dimitri came up behind me, as I watched Lissa try on some dresses. "We need to talk," he murmured.

"No, we don't," I said, never looking at him.

"Yes, Roza, we do," he insisted.

"No, we don't. What is there to talk about? The fact that you left me?"

"Roza… it's not…"

"Fine. We'll talk. Later. When I say so. Now back off and give me some goddamned space!" I exclaimed, still barely above a whisper. Adrian pulled me closer to him.

Suddenly, I decided to do something, that was stupid. I leaned closer to Adrian, and kissed him directly on the lips.

He kissed back, and then pulled away.

"Not here, my dear," he said, playing along. He knew this wasn't real, and I felt bad for toying with him like this. But he knew that I had to do what I had to do.

When we left the mall, Mike and Kassi were asleep. Mase and Ange were falling asleep. Being up and around makes them tired.

I smiled at my babies.

We got back soon, and Adrian and I put the kids to bed.

"I'll be back soon. If I'm not back in forty five minutes, come find me, please," I told Adrian.

"You got it, little Dhampir," he smiled, halfheartedly.

"Thank you."

He nodded, and I walked off to find Dimitri.

He was sitting in his room, reading a western. The door had been open. I knocked on it, feeling stupid, and wishing I could just leave. He looked up, and lowered the book. Surprise was written all over his face.

"Roza—" he started.

I bit my lip. But then, I channeled my inner confidence. "You said you wanted to talk, so talk."

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