A/N: We're finally on to the Chunin exams! Thank you again for the reviews so far, I've got a fanart piece lined up so keep an eye out for it! Sorry for the late update - when your accident prone, you're pretty stuffed.
First is the Worst
She looked down and the paper full of scribbles and tried to make sense of it,
Yup, she was completely doomed.
"First, you over there, from the Otogakure! KNOCK IT OFF WHO TOLD YOU YOU COULD FIGHT!" the man boomed making Kari jump. "You want to be failed before we've even begun?!"
"Gomen, it's our first time. Guess we were a little jumpy, Sir" the boy with the fur on his back said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Ibiki smirked.
"Listen up! I'll say this once so listen up! There will be NO combat between candidates, no attacking each other without the permission of your proctor and even then the use of fatal force is strictly prohibited and anyone who even thinks of messing with me will be disqualified immediately. Got it?"
"Hn no fatal force? That's no fun" the other sound boy scoffed. Kari glared at him, Well aren't you hard…
"Now, if we're ready we'll proceed to the first stage of the chunin exam. Hand over your paperwork. In return you'll each be given a number; this number determines where you will sit. We'll start the written test once you are all seated" Ibiki explained.
"Oro? Nani? Did he say... written?" Naruto said, his eyes falling on a chunin holding a stack of papers. "IIE!! NOT A WRITTEN TEST! NO WAY!" Naruto screamed. Kari was thinking the exact same thing with a large amount of vulgar words mixed in. She hadn't attended one single class on the theory side of being a shinobi, practical – she might just be ok, but writing about stuff she doesn't know… She's doomed.
Kari accepted her number as the butterflies grew larger in her stomach. What the hell was she thinking? Why hadn't Kakashi taught her about what happens in writing, she had thought it was like the army!
Kari's head fell as a cloud of depression swept over, a slight nuzzle of her hand surprised her. There, an angel in white fur; sat her baby Kita-ko. Just knowing she wasn't alone made her feel a whole lot better. But if only Kita was taught at ninja school… just as Kari's depression was about to return, a light bulb dinged above her head.
The amazingly smart translator little voice!
She breathed a sigh of relief, slumping in her chair. She should be ok! If the voice decided to answer her, which it would because it was nice, right?
But what if it didn't?
SHIMATTAAAA!!
Kari mentally slapped herself and pulled herself together. She decided to distract her frantically worried (and doomed) mind by searching for her team-mates. Almost immediately she caught sight of bright blonde spikes and a flash of orange and knew she'd found Naruto. He was seated near the front and next to him was none other than Hinata. Kari squeaked and pulled Kita into a crushing hug. They were talking! Kari held in a squeal but accidentally squeaked again in joy. Her ears twitched under the ribbon, trying to catch their conversation.
"Na-Naruto-kun, I just…wanted to say… Good luck on the test"
Kari's eyes watered as she bit her bottom lip against another squeal.
'Wooooah! I didn't even notice her! Even when she's there, it's like she's not there'.
Kari's head met the desk with a loud painful sounding THUNK. That's exactly what Naruto would be thinking, baka, baka, BAKA boy!
Glumly resuming her search of her team-mates, Kari noticed a flash of bubblegum pink diagonally up and across a few rows, which could only be Sakura. She was smirking smugly down at Naruto, feeling superior due to her high intelligence. Feeling stupid just looking at her, Kari looked round in hopes of finding Sasuke. As luck would have it, he was sitting directly in front of her. If she got bored she could always poke him…
"Hey, are you feeling alright?"
Kari looked round to meet golden eyes, gorgeous golden eyes. They were slightly hidden behind violet bangs but shone through regardless. Kari blinked stupidly. He must be the heart throb of err… she looked up to see a Sound headband. With a muffled groan her head hit the table again.
Why did he have to be from Oto? Why from the land of pricks?!
"You know, your going to hurt yourself if you keep doing that" the boy chuckled.
She must look like such an idiot…
"Written tests aren't really my forte" Kari said managing an awkward smile.
"I guess you really need the luck I was going to give you then?" he said smiling.
Ohh Kari turning to goo…
"I guess so…" she said, her smile becoming strained, her eyebrow twitching. She turned away to avoid further embarrassment only to be met with a pair of muddy brown eyes leering at her. "Anou, Hi?" she said, feeling more embarrassed than she thought possible.
"Hey baby."
Kari's eye twitched violently. Oooh she was so gonna smash up his face and—
"Everybody eyes front! There are a few rules you need to be aware of and I won't answer any questions, so you better pay attention the first time around!"
Fearing her eye would develop a permanent twitch, Kari followed Ibiki's order. He turned and began to write on the blackboard behind him.
"All right, rule number one is this... the written part of the exam is conducted on a point reduction system, contrary to what some of you might be used to. You all begin the test with the perfect score of ten points. One point will be deducted for every question you get wrong, so if you miss three your final score will be seven. Rule number two... teams will pass or fail on the total score of all members."
Kari tensed, feeling a bead of sweat slide down her brow. She could feel Sasuke's and Sakura's murderous glares on the back of her neck. Doomed, Doomed, DOOMED!
There was a bang heard of something hitting wood. It turned out to be Sakura banging her head on the table.
"You two know each other?" The violet haired boy asked with a smirk. Kari laughed awkwardly.
"What makes you say that, huh?"
"NANI?! WAIT A SECOND YOU'RE SAYING WE ALL GET SCORED, AS A TEAM!?" Sakura screeched. Kari felt another bead of sweat roll down the side of her face, she wiped it with the back of her hand.
She'd be fine… Sakura was a female Einstein, Sasuke was smart, Naruto… Well if all else failed, at least Naruto would be there to share the others wrath.
"SILENCE! I have my reasons so shut up and listen! Rule number three... the sentinels you see positioned around the room are there to watch you carefully and rule out any signs of cheating and for every incident they spot they will subtract two points from the culprits score. Be warned their eyes are extremely sharp and if they catch you five times they'll dismiss you before the tests are even scored. Anyone fool enough to be caught cheating by the sentinels doesn't deserve to be here" Ibiki said. "If you want to be considered shinobi then show us what exceptional shinobi you can be. One more thing, if any candidate should get a zeroand fail the test... then the entire team fails."
…Kari doomed…
"The final question will not be given out until 15 minutes before the end of the testing period. You'll have one hour total. BEGIN!" he cried.
Right ichi... Decipher a code... Anou... ni…?
Line B in the diagram indicates the predictory of a shuriken thrown at enemy C, thrown by ninja A, seated at the top of a tree seven metres tall. Describe and formulate the projectory required if C were positioned at points D, E and F also predict the furthest possible range of the shuriken and explain how you arrived at your answer.
W.T.F?
Trigonometry? No Pythagoras? No it must be Trigonometry because there must be an angle involved to figure out the throw. But don't shuriken's arch? Or do they throw straight? Doesn't it depend on the strength and skill of the person though and… what?
There's no way there's a straight answer to this!
Surprisingly enough, Kari was actually pretty good at Maths back home. She was in the highest sets (though was definitely not the smartest in the class) but trigonometry wasn't her strong point at all. Soh-cah-toa and magic triangles were a load of gobbledegook to her. She was better with sequences or algebra. Come to think of it, she couldn't figure out what projectory meant.
She barely held back from smacking her head on the table for the third time.
If she got a headache she would scream, if she screamed, everyone would find her insane and she'd get chucked out of the exam along with Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura, THEN she would scream a hell of a lot more. It hurt just to think about their rage… She looked longingly at the back of her team-mate's head.
Geez… Sasuke help me will ya?
Heh, bet Kari's smacking her head on the table about now. Baka has no chance.
OI! Who you calling a baka, usuratonkashi!
I would have thought that was obvious arei!
Well excuuuuse me Sasuke-hime!
Wait. Are you actually in my head?
Noooo! Ya don't say! Who's the baka now huh— Wait a sec, I'm actually talking to you through your mind like I do with Kita? What the—? Ha! I can find out your deepest darkest secrets! Haha! Hahahaha! Muahaha—
Kari. What. The. Fuck?
I forgot you could hear that. That didn't happen. Anyway, what's up with this test! It's like… BAH!
What are you a sheep? And figure it out on your own like I did! It's your own fault if your stupid.
We're being marked as a team baka.
Fine. Look at the questions, most ninja at our level couldn't possibly hope to answer these questions. I can't even begin to understand them.
The great Sasuke doesn't know something… Anyway, what's your point?
Ugh. Bloody stupid team—Right, you can't hope to answer them yourself, only a select few in here can. The sentinels around the room checking for any sign of cheating, they make a bigger deal about cheating than the test itself! As well as that, only two points are deducted for every time you're caught, when normally you'd be thrown out straight away. Remember what the proctor said 'Anyone fool enough to be caught cheating doesn't deserve to be here'. He didn't say you couldn't cheat, he said you couldn't get caught. They want us to cheat. They're testing us on our skills of gathering information.
Sasuke, I love you.
Don't you ever say that to me again.
Alright, thanks Sasu.
Don't call me that.
Kari smirked and thought to herself.
So they want us to cheat? How am I going to go about this…? What are other people doing?
Kari's senses shot to full alert. Akamaru was barking the answers to Kiba, looking round from the top of Kiba's head. Catching her look, Kiba smirked at her. He pointed to his test and gave her the thumbs up. Catching his drift she nodded. He had been asking if she'd figured it out. Shino was using his bugs, Kari could hear one buzzing somewhere below her. Sakura was writing furiously, making Kari once again feel rather stupid compared to her. A burst of chakra shot in Sakura's direction, it felt like that Ino girl. Kari shrugged, shaking it off as weird. Then she caught sight of poor, hopeless Naruto, stressing away. Hinata whispered something to him, seeming to want to help. Kari couldn't hear because the brown eyed boy to her left was clicking his tongue in boredom.
Suddenly a kunai shot past Naruto and onto the table behind him.
"W-what was that all about!?" the boy whom it landed in front of cried.
"Five strikes and you're out. You just failed the test" the chunin said.
"Nani! It can't be!"
"You and your team mates fail. Leave the room immediately" the three of them left.
"Candidate number 23, fail! Numbers 27 and 43 fail!" More people were failing as the test went on, adding to the tension. Kari sensed Neji's Byakugan and Sasuke activate his Sharingan. She shivered; the dojutsu's giving her tingles. Eyes! That's it!
Kari looked around and noticed the guy in front of Sasuke writing feverishly.
Bingo.
He paused and Kari could just about make out the answer to number four under his arm, her eyes focused on that point and the writing immediately sharpened.
"Shi… is eight" Kari murmured to herself, jotting the answer down. She jumped out her skin, smacking her knee on the desk when Sasuke's voice boomed into her mind.
Kari.
Kuso! Nani?!
Naruto's stressing out, can you get through to him?
I've only got one answer so far!
Ones enough to pass baka! Try and contact the dobe!
'Try and contact the dobe', you make it sound like Naruto's dead and I'm a creepy psychic lady!
You'll be dead if we fail! Now get on with it!
Sheesh. Fine. Shut up then. Naruto-kuuuun, yo Naru—
I'M GONNA FAIL! I'M GONNA FAIL! I'M GONNA FAIL! SASUKE AND SAKURA WILL KILL ME AND I'LL LET KARI DOWN AND KAKASHI-SENSEI WILL BE SO DISAPPOINTED AND-AND-AND—
Get through?
Kari can't hear you. She's DEAF! Naruto's screaming full volume, my ears are ringing…
"Number 59, you fail. Numbers 33 and 9 fail" Kari's eyes narrowed, if her memory was correct, it was around the thirteenth team to be failed. She finished writing the answer to number seven. She'd filled in two, three, four, five and seven. With only a few minutes left she figured that would do. The Kankuro guy on Gaara's team left to 'use the can' with a weird sentinel. She had tried to get through to Naruto again, but only had a throbbing headache to show for it.
"Number 41, FAIL! Numbers 35 and 62 fail"
Kari blinked seeing the brown eyed boy beside her stand up, he sighed and walked out but not before winking at her. Kari shuddered and Kita growled.
"Before I give you the tenth question there are some more rules that you need to be aware of..." Ibiki said, startling everyone. Kankuro walked back in. Kari's eyes scanned the sentinel carefully. She detected no life force, no breathing, and no heartbeat. That sentinal was a fake, a puppet. She could sense strings made of chakra. "Ah... made it just in time I hope you found your trip to the bathroom enlightening. Well... take your seat. These rules are unique to question ten, listen carefully and try not to let them frighten you... Very well then, rule number one, each of you is free to chose not to be given the final question, it's your decision."
"WOAH! So what's the catch?! What if we decide not to do it what happens then?!" Temari cried.
"If you chose not to take the tenth question regardless to your answers of the other nine you'll get a zero, in other words you fail and that of course means both your team mates fail as well" mutters spread through the room such as 'of course we'll take it then' "Not so fast you didn't let me finish if you do accept the question but answer it incorrectly... you will not only fail... YOU WILL BE BARRED FROM TAKING THE CHUUNIN EXAM EVER AGAIN!" Ibiki hollered, causing Kari's knee to meet the table once more. Kita had the look of a deer caught in headlights, scared by the frightening proctor and her mother's peculiar behaviour.
"HEY THAT'S BULL MAN! That's ridiculous! What kind of bogus rule's that!? There's loadsa people here who've taken the test before!" Kiba shouted, Akamaru barking in agreement. Ibiki chuckled.
"I guess you're just... unlucky... I wasn't making the rules before, but I am now. Of course if you don't want to take it... you don't have to. If you're not feeling confident, then by all means skip it, you can come back and try again next year... Now if you're ready. The tenth and final question, those who don't want to take it, raise your hand. Your number will be recorded and then you're free to go" Ibiki said. Kari looked worriedly at Naruto. His dream was at stake – had you ever heard of a genin Hokage? Well, Kari didn't actually know, but she thought it unlikely. But she knew him well enough to know he'd never give up and he would hate it if they gave up now... The person next to Naruto raised his hand. He and his team left.
"Number 50 fail! Number 130 number 110 that means you're out too!" More and more people raised there hands. Chicken shit's... Then Sakura started to raise her hand. Kari looked at her wide eyed trying to dissuade her, but then the unthinkable happened. Naruto raised a shaking hand. Kari's eyes widened and a gasp escaped her lips. Naruto wasn't a quitter he would never— There was a deafening bang as Naruto's hand slammed down on the table.
"DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME! I DON'T QUIT AND I DON'T RUN! YOU CAN ACT TOUGH ALL YOU WANT YOU GUYS AREN'T GONNA SCARE ME OFF NO WAY! I don't care if I DO get stuck as a genin for the rest of my life! I'LL STILL BE HOKAGE SOMEDAY!" Naruto hollered.
"THAT'S MY TEAM MATE!" Kari cheered, pumping her fist in the air. Naruto looked round at her grinning.
"This decision is one that could change your life. If for any reason you would rather quit, now's your last chance" Ibiki said.
"No way, I never go back on my word that's the way of the ninja" Naruto said stubbornly.
"Well then, I admire your determination, if nothing else. For those of you remaining, there's only one thing left to do and that's for me to tell you... That you've all passed the first exam!" Ibiki cried.
Eh? Wha? But-? Question-? He was-? Nani?!
"HOLD ON, WHAT JUST HAPPENED? WHAT D'YOU MEAN WE PASSED!? WHERE'S THE 10th QUESTION!?" Sakura cried. Kari sighed placing a hand to her forehead. They passed and she was asking why? Honestly… Ibiki smiled and then laughed. Kari shuddered. That was creepy…
"There never was one! Not a written one at least! Your decision to stay was the answer to the tenth question!" he cried… happily. Geez, was this guy bipolar or what?
"Wait a second, so the other nine questions you gave us were just a waste of time?! That's what you're saying!" Temari cried.
"Iie, Iie not at all! Quite the opposite, the first nine questions had an important overriding purpose, to test your ability to surreptitiously gather strategic intelligence under the most adverse circumstances" Ibiki replied. Why the long words? Gather information is so much easier to say.
"Oh well that clears up everything" Temari said sarcastically.
"Let me explain. My objective was not only to test you individually, but as a team and how well you function as a part of that team. That's why the test was scored on a team basis so you'd know that everything you did or failed to do would directly affect your team mates. I wanted to see how you'd handle the pressure" Ibiki explained.
"Mhm I figured it was something like that, that's why I kept my cool" Naruto said. Does screaming about how you're gonna fail in your heads count as keeping your cool? He had no idea the whole time… But you got to admire him for his bravery.
"The first nine questions on the test were difficult" Ibiki said. No shit sherlock. "In fact, as you may have realised, too difficult for any genin to be expected to solve. I imagine that many of you quickly came to that conclusion.,that you'd have to cheat if you wanted any chance of passing. The fact is, the test was designed to encourage cheating, it almost demanded it. Of course, it would have done you little good unless you had someone to cheat from. I had two chunin also take the exam."
"HAHAHA! C'MON I WASN'T FOOLED FOR A SECOND! YOU'D HAVE TO BE A COMPLETE BAKA NOT TO SEE IT RIGHT HINATA?" Naruto cried. Kari was torn by the urge to laugh at Naruto referring to himself as a baka, and the pure cuteness of the fact he actually spoke to Hinata. Kari bundled Kita into her arms and hugged her tight. Kita had taken a nap through the whole thing.
"Those who got caught failed, better not to cheat then cheat clumsily. Information is the most powerful weapon in battle. How well you gather intelligence can determine weather a mission is a failure or a success. There'll be times you have to risk your life to get it" Ibiki said taking off his hitai-ate. Kari inwardly cringed at the mess of scars and puncture wounds covering his head. The pain he must have gone through…
"Man what a mess, scars and puncture wounds, burn marks… What he must have endured…" Sasuke said, echoing Kari's thoughts.
"Of course, you must always consider the source of your information. That of an enemy is not always accurate, always bare this in mind. Disinformation can be worse than no information at all, it can lead to the death of comrades or the loss of a village. That's why I put you in the position where you had to gather accurate information. Cheat to survive, and that's why those who weren't good enough at it got weeded out" Ibiki said.
"OK but I'm still not getting what the whole tenth question thing's all about" Temari said.
"You're not? The tenth question was the main point of the whole exam surely you see that?" Ibiki said.
"Sure… But explain it anyway" Sakura said.
"As I said before, the goal was not to test you as individuals but as part of a squad. The final question gave you two choices, both difficult you could chose to play it safe and skip the question though it meant both you and your team mates could be failed, OR you could try and answer it, knowing if you got it wrong you would lose your chance of ever being chunin. It was a no win situation, but just the sort chunin have to face nearly every day. For example, let me give you a hypothetical question; To steal a document from an enemy stronghold, you have no idea how many ninja the enemy has or how heavily armed they are. Furthermore you have reason to believe the enemy expect you and you may very well be walking blindly into a trap. Now do you have the option of taking a pass on this insane mission? Of saying me and my comrades would rather live to fight another day? Can you choose to avoid danger? ... IIE! There will be some missions that will seem almost suicidal if you think about it, but you do not think about it. You think of only the goal and of achieving it through courage and discipline. These are the qualities required of a chunin squad leader. Those who chose the safer of two paths, those whose determination falters in the face of adversity, those who would put their comrades' lives in jeopardy by worrying about themselves, those who would sacrifice sacred honour will never be able to call themselves chunin! At least as long as I am here! As for the rest of you, you have successfully answered the ten questions I've put to you. You have earned the right to continue on to the next step. You have been passed through the first gate. I declare this part of the chunin selection exam completed. There's nothing left but to wish you all good luck" Ibiki said.
"YOSH! I DID IT! THAT'S ONE DOWN! WOO! WOO! YEAH!" Naruto cheered. His celebration was cut short however, when something burst through the window. "I-is this part of the test?!"
"HEADS UP BOYS AND GIRLS! THIS IS NO TIME TO BE CELEBRATING! I'll be your next proctor. Mitarashi Anko!" a woman cried. She reminded Kari somewhat of a female Naruto through her loudness. She had spiky dark lavender hair and light brown eyes. She wore a beige trench coat over a fishnet top and shorts, with a brown skirt over that. As she had shot in, a massive banner had appeared behind her stating: 'Proctor 2 Mitarashi Anko'. "Ready for the second test? GOOD! LET'S GO! FOLLOW ME!" she cried, as though she was an army general ordering troops. Her enthusiasm was quite… extraordinary.
"You're early …again" Ibiki said. She scowled as an awkward blush rose to her cheeks. Luckily, she found a distraction from her embarrassment.
"How many are there? Ibiki you let all these guys pass? Your test was too easy! You must be going soft!" Anko cried.
"Or maybe a stronger crop of candidates this year" Ibiki said.
"Hm they sure don't look it! Trust me when I'm done with them... More than half will be eliminated" Anko said, an evil smirk finding its way onto her face.
"Huh! More than half? Really?!" Sakura cried shocked.
"Heh this is gonna be fun... All right you maggots have had it easy so far but that's all gonna change starting first thing in the morning! I'll let your squad leaders know where to meet me. Dismissed."