Beware! For there are many references to "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" in this chapter! This means quite a bit of dark comedy ahead...

The badly bruised Sonic woke up in his bed from another bad night, worried about his bet. "Where's Rouge? She still needs to find a way to become happy!"

Knuckles sighed and said "She wasn't too happy when you tried to hit on her...but she became happy again after seeing Shadow beat the crap out of you!"

"YES!"

"Damn it! Why did I tell you that? I could've lied to you about the result and then have taken the money for myself."

You won't be able to lie about the results while I'm here, bitch.

Knuckles grumbled as he stormed off.

Sonic then began to worry about who who was next. He shoved Tails into a closet to stop those annoying noises, then went down to meet his fate with Knuckles.

Knuckles looked at the list and said "Hmmm…I guess I'll have you go with Vector today! This is on the basis that he's the only one I remembered to put on the list today!"

Sonic sighed with relief. Upon being asked why, Sonic replied "Vector's going to be easy. He spends half of his time listening to music, and the other half getting stoned."

Knuckles grinned and said "That's where your problem is."

"What?"

"Vector's out of pot."

Sonic's jaw gaped. After several seconds of an awkward silence, Sonic said "CENSORED!"

"Sonic Makes a Drug Deal"

It's Always Sunny in Mobius

At Vector's home, Sonic and Knuckles were trying to calm down Vector's anger.

Sonic suggested "Maybe you should watch TV a bit."

Vector yelled "I can't concentrate without my drugs!" before throwing a random vase of flowers at Knuckles.

One dodge later Knuckles said "Is that all you can throw?" before dodging an entire stereo set.

Sonic shouted to Knuckles "How about we go Steve Irwin all over his ass?" This angered Vector more.

Knuckles yelled back "And get killed by stingrays while doing a documentary? No way!"

"...What?"

Just as Vector angrily picked up the TV, Sonic yelled "Oh, CENSORED!" and ran out with Knuckles.

As both of them ran as far down the street as possible, they bumped into Tails. Sonic asked "What are you doing here? I told you to hit your head against the wall until you had hallucinations, and then let them babysit you!"

Tails replied "I did, but then they disappeared when I followed their suggestion to raid the medicine cabinet!"

Sonic groaned, then said "That's what I wanted to do! Oh well…just be careful! Knuckles and I have to go make a drug deal right over…err…there!", pointing to a random dark alley.

He went inside and found a homeless man grumbling. Sonic asked "Excuse me?"

The homeless guy continued grumbling. Sonic then yelled "I. Don't. Speak. Homeless!"

After no result, Sonic held up a wad of money and indicated snorting. The homeless guy understood and led them deeper into the alley. The man then held up a bag of pot, indicating with his other hand for the money.

Just as Sonic was about to hand it over, he heard Tails shouting "WILD CARD, BITCHES!" and crash a stolen truck into the alley. Many crates fell onto the homeless guy, causing Knuckles and Tails to run into there.

Knuckles asked "Do you think he's dead?"

As the man started getting up, muttering "I'm okay…", Sonic yelled "Zombie! Let's stop it!" So they beat him up and took the drugs, ignoring his screams.

As they left, Sonic declared "That'll teach him to be a zombie!"

Once Vector was finally calmed down, Sonic declared the day over. He therefore asked who was next on the list. Knuckles looked over the list and said "Umm…I can't think of anyone else, really…"

Sonic asked "So I've won?"

"Not when I think of some other friend of ours…ummm…crap, I can't think of any..."

As Sonic's hope was building up, Tails shouted "What was that about friends? We have plenty! There's characters in all of the 2D and 3D games, the handheld games, the TV shows, the movie…and that's not even starting on all of the comics-"

Sonic yelled "Tails, shut the CENSORED up!"

Knuckles looked up, then said "I've figured out the next friend!"

"Tails, I'm going to kill you when I get the next chance."

And so Tails screws things up again. Who will be next on Sonic's list?