Sorry I took so long…but I'm finally done with typing both parts of this finale while listening to H.P. Lovecraft Christmas carols! Yes, those exist!

Sonic awoke in a grungy basement. It looked almost like a bathroom, and he looked around until he noticed the chain around his leg. He then asked "What the hell?"

He then heard a menacing laugh as a TV monitor overhead turned on. On the screen was somebody wearing a clown mask. It said in a deep voice "Hello there, friend. It's time for you to play a little game. Your friend Knuckles is the final one on the list. So, if you can make him happy today, you win."

"Well, how happy is he currently?"

"Not too bad. He's just currently getting lowered into a boiling cauldron and needs you to rescue him in time."

"Yes!"

"What do you mean, yes? He won't be happy if he dies!"

"Yeah, but he won't be able to take my bet money if he's dead, will he? In fact, I might claim all of his possessions after his death since he was stupid enough to not write a will!"

"I'll get-I mean, he'll get onto it sometime!"

Sonic fell over laughing, declaring "Of course he will! Good one!" Sonic then noticed that the chain on his leg had broken off from the fall. He examined the chain, asking "Huh? Why did it…is this aluminum foil? Yeah, this is! How did you expect to keep me chained up with that?"

"Well, the hardware store was all out, so I had to make a detour and-"

"Wait!" Sonic looked closely at the mask and noticed the red dreadlocks behind it. "Knuckles, is that you?"

"Um…of course not! What would make you think that?"

"You have red dreadlocks."

"Oh, so just because I have red dreadlocks, I MUST be Knuckles. There's obviously no one else in the area with red dreadlocks."

"No, there isn't."

"…CENSORED!"

Upon leaving the basement, they met up to discuss how the day would actually unfold.

Knuckles said "As you know, you have to what I demand today. And boy, I've got quite a list!", holding a paper as he said so.

Sonic muttered "If I had lighter right now…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing! So, what's first?"

"Make me a sandwich!"

One sandwich later, Knuckles demanded another difficult task: find the remote.

One couch search later, Sonic declared "What more exhausting tasks have you set forth, my liege?"

"Thou shalt…umm…go have fun with that Sally chick while I think of something."

"Wait, why wasn't she on the list of friends? I could've made her happy in more than one way today!"

"I…um…shut up. You're with me today, so let's just continue making this the last day!"

But…that's completely ignoring one of Sonic's friends! That's not following the bet!

Knuckles retorted "Okay, let's just look at some of these 'friends' he's had to take care of. This includes Mephiles, the Author, a random flamer he never met before, that robot of Big that had just been made, and Tails. Yeah, those are some real 'friends'."

…Touche.

So Sonic left for some fun, with Knuckles reminding him to be at that night's concert.

"What concert?"

Knuckles replied "The totally awesome concert that I'm in tonight."

"Wait…how did you get in?"

"After that 'Knuckles Chaotix' game, I'm officially a part of Team Chaotix. And it just happens to be that Vector is too high to play tonight."

Sonic shouted "What? But…he used up that stash two days ago!"

"Apparently it's more powerful than we thought."

So Sonic left with those plans in mind. Knuckles then grinned, grabbed the phone, dialed a number, and said "Hello, Amy? Guess what Sonic's up to? Yeah, you'll want to check this out…"

While Knuckles displayed a shocking amount of cunning, Sonic went into the woods. As he was looking for Sally and shouting, he suddenly heard a voice ask "What's the password?"

He responded "Come on, Sally! You know who the hell I am!"

The voice responded "How do I know the government hasn't cloned you into an alien robot?"

"…What?"

"You know, since pretty much everyone's a mutant alien ninja robot slave to it."

"…Okay, you've been taking this too far. Just because you're used to an evil empire ruling the land does not mean that it is currently run by one-"

Sonic heard a laugh, followed by "Fool. Just say the damn password."

He rolled his eyes, muttering "This sentence is false."

Sally jumped down from a tree above, saying "Good. Now, what do you want?"

Sonic explained "I've got to make you happy today as part of a bet. What would make you happy?"

"Overthrowing the Eggman Empire."

"…Besides overthrowing currently non-existent empires."

Sally thought, then replied "No idea."

Sonic reflected on his situation, thinking only of something that TV had taught him well: crazy chicks were better at sex.

As he and Sally started to follow his idea of making her happy, Amy stumbled in. She yelled "What the hell are you doing?"

This caused Sonic to jump and respond "Amy! Umm…w-we were just-uh-rehearsing for a-um-porno! Yeah!" This naturally infuriated her more.

How dead is Sonic? Find out in part 2!