AN: as I said before, this isn't a happy ending for MG.

Lost

Arriving in London, Emily was waiting for me. She was smiling and she ran to me with a huge hug. She looked at me up and down, "Wow, Garcia, you've lost a lot of weight." She said with a hint of worry.

"Uh yeah..." I whispered, holding back tears.

"Hey it's okay. Let's get back to my place and talk."

I was so grateful for our ride to her home. It was as beautiful as before. Emily told me about her boyfriend and work. I could tell she was in love with life, in general. Emily leaving had been the best thing for herself. She hoped one day, she would be happy too.

Once we were settled. Emily poured 2 glasses of wine and sat down beside me, "Alright, now talk. What happened sweetie?"

I sat in silence for a while,"You know, you already now half of it. Derek. I foolishly started something, that would only end it heartache."

"Oh sweetie, you are not the fool, Derek is. He loves you but he's too stupid to open his eyes."

I looked at her with so much sadness, "No, he doesn't. He proposed to Savannah. He is getting his happy ending. I was incredibly stupid because I lost everything. He never even noticed. I lost it all." I couldn't stop crying, my tears just overflowing and Emily just held me. I needed to tell her everything. I gather up my courage and continued, "It was a Tuesday, I felt so sick. I couldn't sleep. I was constantly vomiting. Rossi is the one who noticed..."

Flashback

Oh god, I feel like shit! This was proving more difficult than I thought...

I was shutting down my babies, when Rossi came into her lair.

"Hey Garcia, what's been going on?" Looking at her pale face, and dead eyes. She lost her spark, and that hurt to see her that way.

"Nothing. Bad Chinese. I'm fine." She stuttered.

"No, you're not fine. Don't insult my intelligence with that poor excuse. Now listen, you are coming to my place and we are gonna talk. Got it." with his no nonsense sass.

I half smiled, "Yes sir."

We got to his mansion and he gave me a bottled water and told me to speak.

"Well I'm sure your profiler skills have told you, I'm pregnant. 6 weeks to be exact and yes who you're thinking, is the father. No, he doesn't know. I don't think I'll tell him. JJ keeps saying he has a right, but what about me? I'll have to share my child with a man who doesn't love me, how would he treat him/her? How would Savannah? Ugh."

He didn't say anything at first, mostly because he figured it out. "Well kitten, he'll notice once you start showing. He is also a profiler, he too will put two and two together."

"Yeah... I know...but I didn't think it would be this hard." Breathing rapidly. "I haven't thought that far in advance."

"I know, I'm here for you sweetie. Whatever you need. Got it." He said with his signature look.

"Well...I have a doctors appointment tomorrow ..um" I couldn't even bring myself to ask. I didn't need too, Rossi just jumped in, "I would be honored to go with you."

He showed me to his guest room, and I slept all through the night. Best sleep I had in months.

Three weeks later

I woke up and felt so off. I didn't have any morning sickness, but I had dull pain in stomach and my back. I got ready. Still not 100 percent up for the day. I had pregnancy books everywhere and I started to look for the answers there. I grew impatient, I called JJ.

"Hey P, what's up?" She answered.

"JJ, I have a preggo question for ya?"

"I'm all ears, sweetie"

"Is it normal to feel a dull pain in my stomach? And pain in my back?"

As JJ heard her, she feared the worst."I don't know, sweetie. How about you make a doctor appointment for today and I'll call Hotch that you and I won't be going in today. Okay, don't worry I won't tell him. Promise."

"Okay, thanks. You're right. I'll call Dr. Carver. I'll text you the time to meet up." JJ interrupted her "No, I'll pick you up. See you soon."

2 hours later, JJ was in front of Pens' apartment, waiting for her. She was hoping for the best but her gut was telling her that it wasn't going to be good news. Her heart broke for her best friend, the sweetest most compassionate person she'd ever met.

Garcia got in JJ's car with a pained expression. She felt something was terrible was going to happen. She was praying, she was wrong.

She checked in and got called rather quickly.

Dr. Carver came in looking at her chart.

"Ms. Garcia, why don't you tell me what you've been feeling? And when did this start?" She stated.

JJ was beside me holding my hand, "Well, it's only been since yesterday. It just wasn't as bad yesterday. I figured it was because of stress. It feels like a dull pain in my lower abdomen and lower back."

"Hm okay we are going to do an ultrasound to find out what we're dealing with." She said and walked out.

The longest 5 minutes of my life, the technician came in and placed the gel on my stomach. She began looking and she asked, "How far along are you again?"

"9 weeks. Why? Is something wrong?"

"I'm going to get the doctor, give me one minute. Thank you." And she slipped out.

Literally one minute later, they both can in and someone else I hadn't met yet.

Dr. Carver was the first to speak, "Penelope, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have experience a missed miscarriage." I let her words sink in, not understanding, "what? A miscarriage? I didn't bleed at any time."

Her doctor gave another sympathetic look and continued to explain, "A missed miscarriage is when the product of conception didn't not expel from the body, but did in fact died. You are 9 weeks but the fetus development stopped at 7 weeks, there is not heartbeat. Again, I am sorry...but we need to discuss how we are going to proceed."

I stared, "what do you mean?" JJ trying to hold back the tears, holding my hand even tighter.

"We need to help your body expel the product of conception. We can give you medicine to start the process or surgery to remove it." The new Dr spoke up.

I couldn't breathe. Or speak. JJ spoke up, "what is safest for Penelope?"

Again the unknown Dr said, "The medicine, because it just promotes the body to do the natural process."

"I'll take the medicine. Can I have some time to myself please?" I spoke up finally.

"Of course, I'll go and set it everything up." Dr Carver left and the others followed suit.

"Um...JJ... Thank you for being here. I do need to be alone though."

"Okay. I'll be outside. Pen, you don't have to do this by yourself. I'm here for you." She understood her pain, losing a child is devastating. Penelope nodded with tears slowly coming out. Once JJ was out of sight. I screamed and cried, at the injustice. Grabbing her void tummy taking to a child that would never be. "I love you, more than anything or anyone and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you or ensure your safe arrival." Crying, because she lost everything...