A/N: this has been sitting in my drive for god-knows how long. It seems that I forgot to update...again OTL

WARNING; UNBETA'ed

Koujaku presumed everything is okay again.

Well, he can pretend that everything is okay again, that is.

Fate hated him and his mother, and the next thing he knows, they were boarding a ship back to the mainland, with a promise to never return to the island anymore.

His father's wife cannot bear children, and being a head of a yakuza family, he needs an heir to take over his place. Although Koujaku's mother is merely a mistress, he sought them out and demanded Koujaku's custody.

Koujaku's father is a powerful man, both in terms of the hierarchy and physical strength. He used to beat Koujaku until the boy quiets down and could barely lift a finger. He does this a lot whenever Koujaku seeks out his father's help whenever his mother gets hurt by his father's wife, blaming her for her inability to bear his father a son. He was grateful when they managed to leave the country and move somewhere faraway, to escape from everything and try to start over, but it seems that they weren't really far enough, for his father to manage to find them and force them back into the compound.

The moment he saw the man next to his father, he knew his fate was sealed.

Ryuuho was the man's name; he remembered hearing his father say. He is a talented man and his father was truly thankful for Ryuuho's acceptance of his request.

Request?, Koujaku asked himself.

It was as if Ryuuho can read minds, he turned his fox-like grin towards him, and said in a cheerful voice, "Yep. Please let's get along, Koujaku-san."

The tone was cheerful and rather friendly, but there was something dark swimming in those eyes that made him feel uneasy all throughout the rest of the introductions.

It's common knowledge that yakuzas bear tattoos.

Either to make your affiliation be known, or be it your rank or reputation. If Koujaku will take over his father's business one day, he should bear one as well. That is why Ryuuho's presence that day was essential.

He's a talented man when it comes to tattoos. They say his art is extraordinary-out of this world. He does things in his own pace, and he doesn't set up shop. He works whenever he fancies and he doesn't accept reservations. His fee is also costly, but nevertheless, people still pursue him due to that talent of his. His father, a prideful man, wanted Ryuuho's work on his son's back for the very reasons and sought the man, offering him a great sum of money in exchange for his services. Ryuuho agreed, much to his delight.

Everything went spiralling down after that.

The sensation of the inked needle prickling his skin was overwhelming, he lost his composure and bit into his arm to muffle his screams of pain. Ryuuho definitely heard his cries but merely laughed in a way so different from how he used to in front of his father and everyone else and pressed the needles deeper, much to Koujaku's despair.

"Children are so bearing. A grown man would've fainted from this pain," Koujaku chose to remain silent as he listens to the man muse to himself, or so he thought.

Silence filled the room.

"and my needle is deeper than usual, hm?" Ryuuho pressed the needle hard into his skin again. The pain was intense he had to bite harder into his arm to stop himself from screaming, lest he worry his mother who is just waiting outside.

Koujaku was convinced he was an open book to the man as he heard him chuckle.

The pressure of the needle on his back was gone, and Ryuuho was up shuffling through his tools a little bit farther from where he lay when he spoke once again.

"You know, I just took this job because your father asked me at first," said Ryuuho as Koujaku listened to the sounds of small clinking of metal on ceramic. "That changed when I saw you. I could've done it for free."

A small thud on the wooden floor next to him, Koujaku braced himself for another round of pain.

"Do you know why?" The temperature in the room drops. Koujaku bites into his arm again, and he started breathing hard through his nose, the pain worse than before.

"The look in your eyes when you look at your father-eyes flowing with raw hatred for him. Such deep hatred is actually a deep love on the inside."

Deep love? He mentally cringes in disgust.

Ryuuho doesn't act affected in any way and adds, "Love and hatred are just two sides of a coin, you see."

"I knew you were a sweet, reliable child raised with affection. I knew with just one look."

His smile can be felt through the mirth dancing in his voice right then. "Don't you hate your father? Not just that, but you detest him."

"Is it because…"

Koujaku winces as the needle drags along his skin as Ryuuho drags his word. And then pauses, the pain subsides a little.

"...of you mother?" Ryuuho was smiling wickedly as he watches his body stiffen and let his throat let out a growl. He continues as if he never noticed the reaction he pulls out of the boy below him.

"Your father's real wife can't bear children, your mother was his mistress, and you were chosen as the successor. His wife just couldn't stomach it and gave your mother quite the grief."

He shakes his head in sympathy but there's none in his voice or expression. It is simply to mock him.

"She even burnt her." Ryuuho is obviously trying to muffle his own laughter, as if deriving joy from it. From Koujaku's temper or his mother's suffering, he can't tell, but either way, it rubs him in the wrong way. All he wanted is this man's silence and this entire session to end already.

Month after month, every session, Ryuuho never failed to make small talks, mostly about how much Koujaku's fate was cursed. Every single time he wished for Ryuuho's death for it. For his father's. For making their lives a living hell.

Ryuuho was used to his occasional growls and continued. "But your father pretended not to see, and no matter how much you begged, he just beat you instead."

"I haven't heard it all, but you're being forced into taking on his crest as his son. Proof that you're the successor." He paused and gave his unfinished work a once-over, smiling at his masterpiece in progress. "You've led quite an interesting life, haven't you?"

Ryuuho's smile drops when he hears Koujaku mumble, his face pressed into the pillows under him.

"Hm?"

"I said," A pant, before Koujaku raises himself enough to expose his face and turn to Ryuuho and lock his red eyes with him, fiery with hatred and resolve.

"I said shut up and keep drawing!"

Ryuuho can't say he was not amazed.

When red eyes left him, he heard the boy growl deep from his throat, "You devil!"

He lost it.

He laughed. The loudest he ever did.

"As I thought, my eyes weren't wrong. You're just like I thought you were."

His laughs were darker and filled with malice this time, as he continues and dig his needles hard into Koujaku's back, he whispers into his ears, "Keep nurturing it in your body. Accept every possible thing that happens from now on. Store it and nourish it…"

The pain was enough to make Koujaku's sight grow dark for the first time under Ryuuho's hands.

Another press, another pain, the burning sensation of the ink sinking and spreading into his back, and then his world turned black.

"Remember this well. This pain as I carve out your soul."

The moment he wakes up, it was with a gasp.

He was standing in the rain, his top exposed and displays the tattoos Ryuuho left on him.

In his hand was a sword.

Despite the heavy pelts of the rain, everything was silent.

It could be explained due to the dead bodies of his family lying on the ground around him.

The first thing that catches him was panic, then fear. What came in next was his heavy footsteps back into the house and into the room where his mother used to be in as she waits for his session to end.

At the sight of the ruined room he felt his blood run cold. There is no sign of his mother, but this was not enough to calm his raging heart. There's blood everywhere. Scattered on the walls and floor and ceiling. Despite the red, he managed to spot it.

He remembers the day he got it for her as a gift, He remembers the smile his mother had that time, as she used it immediately to hold her hair the day she got it from him. Koujaku knew the days saving his allowance was worth it, even if he'll only get to see her smile like this once. It was worth it.

Those memories was instantly washed away by the blood of her mother drenching the pin wet as it lies on the floor, not too far from where her mother's unrecognizeable body lay.

The image of her torn body churned his insides and he felt sick.

He puts a hand over his lips to stop himself from throwing up right in front of her corpse. He pauses.

Blood.

There's blood in his hands. Both of them.

Looking down, his whole body is covered in blood. His kimono was wet and soggy and sticky with blood moistened by the rain.

It didn't take a while for Koujaku to put two and two together.

He screamed.

E/N: are you guys still here?