Okay, I know I left off in a really weird place. And I also realize that chapter was a little more than confusing. But The thing was, Bella was dreaming that Edward never came back for her, and she ended up settling for second best. Jacob, instead of Edward. But ti was just a dramatic dream, and Bella isn't getting married to anyone.
Okay, this is for the Jacob fans. JACOB WILL FIND LOVE!!! I know I've treated him horribly, but don't worry. Jakey will get his. :)
As for Alice and Edward, they are sick, so just cope with me for a while. It will all get better.
EPOV
I looked so weird without hair. In other words, I was bald. And it wasn't becoming something I liked. Because every time I ran my fingers through my non existent hair, it just reminded me of another thing I didn't have.
Bella.
I hated that I didn't tell her up front why Alice and I were going to Italy, why we were an entire world apart, instead of living next door.
i hated waking up in the morning, and not being able to see her smiling face, to be able to tell her she was beautiful, or hold her delicate little hand.
And the fact that I could only write a note, hoping Bella got it, and then hoping not. I could see her face crumble, knowing that Alice and I would die before we turned nineteen years old.
Disease was a horrible thing. And I couldn't believe that we had to cope with this. And what hurt worse was that Alice was hurting worse than I was. Most days, she was just unconscious and un-lively. And that scared me, because I had never been an overly religious person, but I couldn't help but pray for her every second I got. I prayed that I would get the pain instead of her, that if push came to shove, I would die instead of her.
I loved my sister. Annoying as she was, she deserved life. And I . . .
Well I guess I couldn't say that I didn't deserve life, because that would be like saying that Bella was something not worth living for, and Bella was my life. And even though I didn't know her as well as I would like to, I wasn't ready to die and not ever get to see her again.
To touch her.
To kiss her.
To make love to her.
Bella was everything to me. She was what I never thought I could be, but made me think so.
not once when I was with Bella did I ever think about mine or Alice's disorder. It just didn't come up. Of course I had medication to take and I was lethargic at times, but nothing made me feel like a normal kid than when I was with her.
And it hurt that I couldn't have her anymore.
"Alright Mr. Cullen," the nurse said. I shrugged lazily. "Are you in pain, sweetie?" she asked. I shook my head.
"Is there any possible way that I could see my mother?" I asked her.
"Oh, sure, sweetie. I'll be right back." and she left. I looked over at Alice who was still asleep, her bald head submerged in her pillow. I missed her hair too. She didn't even care when the nurse shaved it off. She always kept it short, but when it came to getting help, Alice was like a zombie. My heart ached for her.
"What hurts? What's wrong? Are you okay? I called you father, he's coming-"
"Mom," I said. I gave her a smile. It was weak, but a smile. "I just wanted to talk to you. Alice is sleeping, so I'm stuck with you," I teased.
"About what sweetie?" she asked. She ran her fingers over my head. I could tell she missed my hair too.
I hesitated. "About Bella," I said to her softly.
"You miss her, don't you?" she asked. I could see she missed her too. I smiled again.
"Yeah, but I was wondering if she could come here. I mean, it's been a month, and I haven't talked to her at all." I looked at her, missing everything about Arizona. I missed the place. Italy was too . . . it just wasn't the place I wanted it to be.
"And why not?" she demanded.
"No one will let me."
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"No one will give me the computer, and the doctor's say I shouldn't trouble myself with things like contacting a meaningless girl," I spat.
"Meaningless? Bella is my daughter!" Esme almost shouted. "Who said it? Because I swear, I'll let them have a piece of my mind."
"Mom, can you just go get her? Please. I rather see her than send her a message. Please?" I asked.
Her eyes glistened. "Baby, what are you thinking?" she asked me softly, even though she knew.
"I just want to see her as much as I can before I die," I said to her. And then she burst into tears. And I cried with her too.
BPOV
It's been a month since Edward left. And I hadn't gotten any contact from him. I'd sent him so many emails I didn't think his account could accept anymore. And then I kept thinking the worst.
What if he died? What if I couldn't ever see him anymore.
No. Esme and Carlisle wouldn't do that to me. They wouldn't go on with their lives without sharing the horrible news. They couldn't. They knew how much Edward and I liked each other. They knew and it was cray ridiculous how head over heels I was for that boy. Just about everything reminded me about him, especially my room.
How could it not, when it was the very place I lost my virginity? Where he made love to me on that night of Christmas eve . . .
Oh, no!
I was forgetting him! I searched my room for him, but I couldn't find him. Anywhere. my sheets smelled like me. My clothes, his hoodie . . . I couldn't remember his smile, his face, his touch.
That was the one thing I couldn't forget, was his touch. The way his arm went around my waist, like it was supposed to be there. The way his lips were perfect against mine, how his fingers laced through mine so perfectly. So perfect. . .
I guess it wasn't fucking perfect anymore, now was it. Wow, sorry, for the language, but I couldn't express myself enough.
I was okay before Edward. I was just okay. My life was average with loving parents and wonderful friends like Jacob . . . but it was after Edward that was so amazing. Edward was my knight in shining armor. My wonderful Prince Charming I didn't know I needed. He was my first everything, just like I was his. He was my first kiss, my first date, my first intimate moment. He was my everything.
My mother freaked out when I wasn't in my room that night I found his note.
FLASHBACK
"Bella! Bella where are you?" I heard her faintly since I was outside on the ground, clutching the sheet of paper to my chest. I finally heard the door open and she came running outside, a spastic, spasmodic mess. When she found me, she was calling to me, asking me what was wrong and if I was hurt. Then she took the note from my hand. She read it and she just stared at me. Just stared. And I stared back, and we both cried.
Eventually, Phil came looking for us. Renee could walk on her own, but my body just didn't work that way. I couldn't stand up for myself, so Phil carried me inside. I saw my mom give him the note. He read it, and his face looked torn.
I'll be the first to mention that Phil wasn't a big part of my life, but for the six months Edward and I had been together, he could only see how much Edward meant to me. He set the page down and picked my body up. Renee followed as he took me to my room.
They were standing in the doorway. But I could hear them talking.
"Renee, I may not know her like I know you, but damn it if she's not important to me. And that there is something that needs to be taken care of," he said.
"But I thought it was just a crush-two teenagers can't know what love is," my mother countered.
"Renee, they love each other more than we could ever."
And that was the end of that conversation.
My mom slept with me as I cried until I fell asleep.
i didn't go to school for a week, just staying in my room until Renee and Phil got home from work, making it look like I was doing homework and stuff. But I was just doing nothing, just thinking about my best friend and my boyfriend, and how they were so far away from me.
END FLASHBACK
School was normal now. And I talked to Jacob. He talked to me. And we were friends again. We were walking to lunch, when I bumped into someone. I didn't recognize her at all, so I thought she must be new.
"I'm sorry, I said to her. She laughed.
"It's fine. It was my fault." She gave me a sparkling smile. That's when I took her appearance in. She was perfect. She was tallish, about five eight, with curvy hips and voluptuous chest, but her clothing was very modest for a teenage girl. She had a bronze highlight color to her chocolate hair. She had large sparkling brown eyes that could rival mine, and perfect M-shaped lips. She was a beautiful girl.
"I'm Renesmee Carlie Brandon."
"Hi, I''m Bella Swan. The drooling wolf over there is Jacob."
"Hi," she said to him. He smiled at her. It was a genuine smile.
"Hi," he said back to her.
I think love is in the air, indefinitely. I smiled and walked away, running into Jasper Hale, Alice's secret boyfriend. He looked up at me, his eyes sad. He took my arm and we sat a table, just the two of us.
"Where is she?" he asked me.
I was surprised she didn't leave him some secret note like Edward had done for me. Because despite how much I admired Edward, and he was mostly all I saw, I wasn't completely blind. Jasper and Alice were as deep in sappy emotions as Edward and I were.
"Alice is in Italy," I said softly.
He continued to stare at me expectantly.
"She's trying to get better, Jasper." I looked at him carefully.
"Getting better from what?" he asked.
"Leukemia." I said softly.
I watched his face crumble into nothing, and tears fall from his eyes. I was crying with him too.
"She can't. She can't because I love her, Bella," he said to me, his voice cracking. I leaned over and pulled him to me, our grips on each other dead tight. I didn't know Jasper very well, but he was really nice. Alice spoke highly of him.
"Do you talk to her?" he asked, wiping his face with his hands. I shook my head.
"I haven't talked to him in what felt like forever. And I wish I would." I paused. "Jasper, I know I don't know you that much, but do you want to hang out? I mean, totally platonic, because Edward and I are still together. But you know, just hang out? As friends." I smiled.
"Sure, Bella. That sound pretty cool."
"Okay. How about after school today? We could go to my house," I said.
"Sure. Sound good. Just let me tell my Queen Bee of a sister and it's all set. Mind if I get a ride with you? She'd kind of drove me to school today."
I shook my head. "no, it's cool. I'll give you a ride home too."
"Cool. See you later then," he said. I nodded. he stood up and walked away and I just sighed, wishing I had Edward by my side, that I was able to smell his sweet scent, feel his warm body, kiss his soft lips. I just wanted him, period.
After school, I drove Jasper to my house. We talked normally in the car, like we had been friends forever. It was refreshing to talk to someone other than Jake. Not that I minded, because I loved him, but a girl needed more friends.
When we arrived at the house, I noticed there was a car in the driveway I didn't recognize. My mother was an avid artist, so it was probably a client taking a look at her work.
I ushered Jasper inside.
And I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw what was going on.
Esme was sitting ont he sofa, conversing with my mother lightly. When they looked at us, I let out a scream and jumped on Esme as soon as she stood up.
"Oh my God! it's so wonderful to see you. How are Edward and Alice? Are they okay? Are they hurt? I mean more than usual? Are they okay? Is Alice doing any better? Is Edward doing okay? Please tell me he's alright! They're not doing worse are they? they just don't deserve any of this. And what about you? How have you been? Are you doing well? How are you?" I finally stopped and Esme smiled.
"They're doing fine, Bella," she said. "Alice is still in critical condition, but she's getting better slowly. It might be possible that they could beat this." She looked past me to Jasper. "You must be Jasper. My daughter speaks highly of you. Very highly. She talks more now than ever." We laughed, but it was uneasy.
"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Cullen," Jasper said politely.
"Well, there is a reason I'm here, and though visiting you would be a reason, it's not the main one. If it's alright with your parents, Mr. Whitlock, I'm taking you and Bella back to Italy to see the twins."
Jasper and I looked at each other and I screamed as he spun me around. It made me a little sad though since Edward used to do the same to me. I sighed and pasted a smile on my face, being bright for Esme. After all, they were her kids.
"When do we leave?" Jasper asked.
"In a few hours. So it would be wise for you to get home and ask your parents about the matter," Esme said.
"I only live with my sister. Our parents are off in Austria. And I'm eighteen."
Esme studied him. And then she nodded. "Well, Bella, take him home to get ready."
I did, all in a daze, and then drove back to my house where I packed my own things, and then the three of us were off to see Edward and Alice.
This day couldn't have gone any better, even if I knew it was going to happen. I was just too happy, too amazed at the fact I was going to be able to hold Edward again after a whole month of not seeing him. I couldn't wait.
Jasper and I were antsy on the plane ride and Esme looked worried. She had a right to be. Her most prized possessions were lying in hospital beds, trying to recover the death that was hovering so close.
When we got off the plane, Esme didn't directly take us to them. We stopped for food first and I was grateful. I ate voraciously, as did Jasper.
"Bella, Jasper, I need to tell you something. I need to tell you why Edward and Alice are so very important to us. They, both of them are out miracle children. If I lose them, I lose my world. I imagine that's what the both of you feel as well, but it's different for Carlisle and I." Esme looked at us. Both Jasper and I were listening intently.
"Carlisle and I can't conceive children. We just can't. But we did somehow, and we have Edward and Alice. And they mean so much to us. if I lose them, I can't simply mourn and try again. So you can imagine how much I love them both."
"Don't worry, Mrs. Cullen. We love them as much as you do," Jasper said. I nodded to show my compassion as well.
"I know. So are you both ready?"
"Are we going to the hospital?" I asked. She shook her head.
"No. We're going to the house. They've been released."
She smiled. It meant progress. Both Jasper and I smiled back.
But instead of being excited like I was supposed to be, I was nervous.
But it didn't matter. All I wanted to do was see Edward. See his smile. And after a whole month, I was finally going to.
Okay. Here's chapter seven. I hope you liked it. It was a little sad, but the next chapter will be even sappier. Until then, review.
Jessie.