Okay. I didn't kill Alice, guys. She's still alive, so hand on to your panties. (Unless you prefer boxers, then hang on to those.)
It's a short chapter, but it's a filler. I hope you guys don't hate me.
EPOV
The beeping noise stopped as fast as it started, and there were all kinds of shouting.
I was scared. I should have been the one to faint, but both my mother and Bella did enough fainting for the both of us.
I tended to Bella while Jasper caught my mother; he was closer to her as I was to Bella. She didn't wake up immediately, so I just picked her up from the floor and lay her back on the bed.
How would I be able to deal with the fact that my sister was dying? Sure, I had Bella, and she was my life, by Alice was my twin. Oddly, it was like I was broken into three halves instead of only two. Like I was made up of much more that I was supposed to be. It was as if, Alice was my actual half, because, well, she was. But it was like I had a foreign half, which would be Bella. She was something I couldn't quite live without, but was like adding on to me. But she fit somehow, like there was extra space in my heart for her. They were two of the most important people in my life, if not the most.
I already missed her.
My mother came too quicker than Bella, and she clutched to Jasper as they cried. And just watching them made me realize that I wasn't crying.
Was something wrong with me?
Boys didn't cry. Sure, most times that was true. But my sister was dying, and I was just sitting here, holding Bella's hand, waiting patiently for her to wake up.
"Mrs. Cullen?" the nurse came in and said.
My mother looked up at the woman. "Yes?" she said.
"Dr. Carlisle would like to speak to you."
Jasper let my mother go and she stood up and left with the nurse.
I stayed behind, hoping, wishing, praying, that Alice wasn't, in fact, dead.
Flashback: Twelve Years Ago, age five
It was the first day of school today. Mommy was holding Alice's hand and I was her other hand. She kneeled down in front of us, smiling at us both.
"Edward, you have to look out for your sister, okay?" Mommy said to me. I nodded to her. Alice took my hand, her crystal blue eyes focused on mine. She smiled at me and I smiled back at my sister.
"Don't worry Mommy," she said. "Edward is the best brother ever; he always looks after me."
Mommy smiled. "Okay. If you guys get sick at all, you tell the teacher. If you feel dizzy or sleepy or even like you want to throw up, you tell. Do you understand me?"
We both nodded.
"Okay. I'll be back later to come take you home okay? Today you're going to play with some kids, okay?" Mommy looked unsure.
"Yes, Mommy," Alice and I said together.
"Okay. I love you both okay?" Mommy kissed both of our cheeks, and then she stood up and waved at us.
I held Alice's hand; because I was scared she would run off and get hurt. Alice was a small five years old. I was bigger than her, and so were most of the kids in our class. I didn't want to not fulfill my job of not looking after her, so we played together all day. Just like we did at home. Alice played with her Barbies, and I drew pictures of whatever came to mind. And when Alice wanted to go play on the jungle gym, I said okay, because the teacher was out there. Nothing could happen when grown ups were around right?
So Alice played with another girl, a pretty blonde. They made friends quickly and climbed up to the highest point on the jungle gym. But then another girl, one with strawberry blonde hair pushed Alice down, I watched the whole thing, and I thought Alice was okay. I did. I thought she was fine. But she let out this piercing shriek that shook me out of my thoughts and had me running over to her like I was Flash in a comic book.
The teacher was slow to get to Alice, but I held her hand, trying to pull her up from the ground. But she screamed again, because her arm was broken.
"I'm sorry Alice," I said to her. She shook her head, her long black hair flying all over the place. "Are you okay?"
She nodded. "It's okay Edward, it's not your fault. You're the only person who came over to me in time. You're the best brother ever."
The teacher came to her then, and they had to take her away from me to the hospital to fix her broken arm. Mommy came to get me that day, and she was mad when I told her the teacher didn't get to her fast enough.
At the hospital, I was the first one to sign Alice's cast. She was very giggly and loopy and she made me laugh.
Mommy had to talk to the doctor, so she went outside and then Alice let me draw more pictures on her cast. She made me draw girly stuff like hearts and flowers, but I didn't mind; I just wanted her to get better.
Mommy came inside, and she was crying. And then the doctor let Alice hop off of the bed she was sitting on, and then the doctor picked me up and put me on the bed.
"Edward, they have to take blood from you okay?" Mommy said to me. "If you're good, they'll give you a lollypop, 'kay?" Tears streamed her face and she looked shocked and tired and most of all angry. It sort of scared me because I'd never seen that look in her eyes at all.
I nodded to her. Alice stood beside me and she took my hand. I smiled at her, and then I screamed when the needle poked my skin.
And then the hurt went away, and they took blood from my arm. And then they let me go.
After, Mommy told me and Alice to go play in the play room, so we did. Alice and I read some of a book together, page by page, taking turns reading out-loud.
Then my mother came out and she was crying fully now, and completely freely.
"Come on children," she called to us. It was completely unlike her. She never referred to Alice and me as mere children. We were always addressed by name.
Alice and I did as we were told.
Mommy drove us home and then she dashed to Daddy's office where he stayed when he wasn't working in the hospital.
Mommy was screaming and Daddy was telling her to calm down, but Mommy was hysterical and it scared me. Alice looked like she was about to cry, so I took her into the kitchen and climbed on a chair to get her favorite cookie Mommy kept hidden from us. She smiled and we sat down on the kitchen floor and shared a cookie.
"Edward?" she asked me quietly.
"Yes, Alice?" I said to her.
"What does "leukemia" mean?" she said softly. "I think it's something bad." Her eyes were watery with tears and such, and she looked like she might cry again. But I didn't want her to.
"I don't know Alice. Maybe it's something cool, like a superpower," I said to her. She smiled at me.
"Okay, cool."
Turns out it wasn't some cool superhero power. But if I knew Alice, I knew that she would defy death. She would defy the laws because she was just that cool. Maybe, in that sense she was a superhero.
I looked over at Jasper. He was just staring off into space, not quite looking at us, or anything for that matter. And he was just as affected as any of us. I just had to come to like the idea that my sister was involved with a guy. . .
I really didn't like it.
Then again, Bella's dad probably wouldn't like the fact that Bella and I were so close intimately either.
But what's done is done, and that's it.
I thought about a lot of things that Alice and I had gone through. I remember all of her breakups with bad boyfriends, all of the times she fell off her bike, every time she was scared and crept into my bedroom in the night because she was scared. She just was my sister and I wouldn't trade her for the world. I wouldn't. And I didn't want her to die. She didn't deserve to die.
But what if she did? What if she died and I never saw her smiling face again? Never heard her tinkling laugh . . . never was able to console her . . . never see her be happy again . . . I didn't think I could stand that.
Bella was a big part of my life. I loved her. I did. With all my heart. I wanted to marry her. But I know I would never be the same without Alice.
Somewhere in there, I fell asleep. And I cursed myself for it.
"I can't believe the news today
Oh, I can't close my eyes and make it go away
How long, how long must we sing this song?
How long, how long?
Tonight, we can be as one tonight
Broken bottles under children's feet
And bodies strewn across the dead end street
But I won't heed the battle call
It puts my back up
Puts my back up against the wall
Sunday, bloody Sunday
Sunday, bloody Sunday
Sunday, bloody Sunday
Sunday, bloody Sunday
And the battle's just begun
There's many lost, but tell me who has won
The trench is dug within our hearts
And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart
Sunday, bloody Sunday
Sunday, bloody Sunday
How long, how long must we sing this song?
How long, how long?
And it's true we are immune
When fact is fiction and TV reality
And today the millions cry
We eat and drink while tomorrow they die, yeah
I wipe the tears from your eyes
I wipe your tears away
(Tonight, tonight)
I wipe your tears away
(Tonight, tonight)
I wipe your tears away
(Tonight, tonight)
I wipe your bloodshot eyes
(Tonight, tonight)
Sunday, bloody Sunday
Sunday, bloody Sunday
Sunday, bloody Sunday
(The real battle just begun)
Sunday, bloody Sunday
(To claim the victory Jesus won on...)
Sunday, bloody Sunday
Sunday, bloody Sunday . . ."
It was coming from the radio, the song, and I just sighed. Nothing. No tears, no anger, nothing made me want to punch someone in the face or kick a wall down. And I think that was mostly my own fault. I felt heart less.
"Edward," Bella whispered from beside me. "She's . . ."
"She's what Bella?" I asked when she just stopped in her tracks.
"She's . . . she's . . . in a coma."
I breathed in a sigh of half relief.
"But she might never wake up Edward. And I can't stay here, Edward. I have to go home in less than five days. And that makes me feel horrible that I won't be able to stay with you, especially since you need someone Edward. You need someone here to make you feel better. . ."
All that went through my mind were the words, but she might never wake up. How was I supposed to cope with that one?
"Bella, I can't deal with it if she's not here," I said to her. "I can't deal with it if you're not here. I just can't and I'm not going to lie and say I am. But I can't, Bella, and I don't ever want you to leave me, because I know I'll die if I do," I said truthfully to her.
She practically tackled me, holding me as close and her dainty little body could manage. And I held her just as tight.
"Edward," she whispered into my ear. "Do you still want to marry me?" she asked. She pulled away, but only so she could see my face. "I mean, this is a lot, and I can understand if you want to wait longer. This is drastic-"
I kissed her before she could go any further. I knew I wanted to marry Bella. We couldn't do it tonight or tomorrow, but that was okay. I would marry her if it was the last thing I ever did. But I was hoping that it wasn't.
She kissed me back, and I indulged in this thing so extraordinary, I could only want to stay like this with her forever. I just wanted to stay with Bella forever. Pause time and just live however I wanted. Not dreading the worst thing that could ever happen.
"Bella, despite everything that happened today, I still want to marry you. I love you, and that's the end of it, okay?" I told her firmly but softly.
She smiled.
"Okay. I just wish that I didn't have to go home. I mean, I love home, but I don't want to be in a place where I'm so close to forgetting you. Because that's just wrong. I don't ever want to forget you, Edward." Bella leaned against me, her body curled all around mine. Right there was where I belonged. No where else.
"Do you want to go see Alice?" Bella asked me.
I thought about that. Could I stand to see my sister lying there, practically lifeless?
No.
"Maybe tomorrow," I said, knowing I wouldn't.
If I was going to remember my sister, it wasn't going to be an image of her attached to so many tubes and machines I couldn't make out her body, but the cute, little, spunky, back-talking, sprite that I was so used to.
Bella hummed the song we just heard come on the radio, and I just thought freely. Of the past. Of Bella. OF what tomorrow would bring.
Because if Alice ever called me another bad name, I wouldn't mind. And I would never complain again.
She needed to be alright.
Because if she wasn't, then I wouldn't be.
So today's my birthday. If you love me, you would send me love :)
Just press the wonderful button guys. It's the best present a girl could ask for. :P
It really is guys. You're so close. Just leave me a review. Please.