And the story lives!!

Please read and review guys. And I'm sorry it's been such a long time.

EPOV

I wanted to be alone, well, except for Bella. But even when I was near her, I sank into a blank state of mind. Nothing made it better. And I wasn't sure how to fix it.

I mean, when did everything bad happen?

And why did she have to find the note? I think it would have been so much easier for her to hate for not returning her calls, or messages, than for leaving her with a small sliver of hope that I had to take away.

I knew I was going to die. And it would be soon, but why would she have to witness it? Alice was so close. I could see her slipping away, piece by piece, and I wouldn't be able to cope with it.

Stopping chemo was already making me sick. It was only a matter of time before I was in the same state as Alice. Rarely did we ever end up with different fates. If Alice was leaving, then I'd be holding her hand.

I had a horrible headache, and I was starving. I wiggled out of Bell's grasp and went downstairs for some food. No one seemed to be a wake, so I was as quiet as I could be, so I didn't disturb anybody.

I ate, grabbed my iPod, and then I went onto the patio and laid in the grass. It was cold, or maybe it was just the fact that I was sick. I didn't know, and I really didn't care. I think I wanted to die.

That way I would have to hurt anymore. That way I would be okay, and nothing would hurt anyone. Or I wouldn't hurt anybody.

So that's how I came to the conclusion that I was going off of chemo. If I did that, then it wouldn't hurt anymore. I would be okay, and then everyone would have to stop worrying about me. And if Alice died too, then we could be together where ever the hell dead people went.

I was purposely leaving Bella out of all of this. Not thinking about her made everything okay. Or so I think. I mean, breaking apart from her, it wouldn't hurt that much right?

She's just a girlfriend.

Ahgh.

No, she was important to me. And it hurt that I acknowledged her like that. I hate that I did that. I don't know what was wrong with me, but I needed to get on some meds fast and stop thinking like that. Because it's not helping anything at all. and I knew that, that was the creepy thing,

I sighed and looked at the clear blue sky. My life was a complete blur. I took out my iPod and turned it loud to Bring me the Horizon. Crazy screamo and heavy metal-type, but it took it away, and that was good.

Eh, whatever.

So I listened for a few hours, happy that I was hidden form everything. I just needed some alone time and I was definitely getting it. Only I missed Bella a little.

I went inside the house and back upstairs, climbing back in bed next to her.

Clean break, right.

Straight forward.

Painful.

BPOV

I didn't really know how to deal with Alice's being in a coma. It was like Esme, Edward, and Jasper were all in shock. Carlisle was off at the hospital tending to her, not really paying attention to us at all and I think that was one of the reasons why they were so zombie-like. I tried to get them to do things, but mainly Edward. He barely did anything. When we watched television, he just stared blankly at the TV, or when we listened to music, he stared blankly at the ceiling and when I woke up in the morning, he looked like he hadn't slept forever. He was just . . . blank.

It made me feel bad, because although I was worrying too, I couldn't handle being the only thing that moved, that actually did something. Jasper locked himself in Alice's room blasting Slipknot and God knows what else morose music he could think of, while I didn't know where Esme hid herself I think she just tried her best, but she looked just as dead as everyone else did. I cried a lot when I was alone, when I was absolutely sure that I wasn't around anyone at all. Because I couldn't just sit there and hold it all in. It was impossible. My best friend was possibly dying, and I couldn't ever get to say bye. And I couldn't handle it.

Like now. I was crying very hard, just immense sobbing on my part. I'd left Edward downstairs out on the patio by the pool for a second, coming up here to vent to myself, because I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled the beanie I was wearing off my head, throwing it off the floor. I pulled the blankets over my head, sulking.

I jumped when I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder. But it was only Edward, and he looked like he'd just done something completely horrible.

"I was only being considerate of my own feelings and not yours, and that's not fair," he said to me. I stood up and shuffled into his arms, carrying the blanket with me, so I wrapped it around us both.

"No," I said, "I just had something in my eye and I—"

"Bella," he said. "That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard. Ever."He laughed and held me tighter.

I laughed through my tears and Edward held me closer to him. His body was warm and soft and I didn't ever want to let go. I was scared that I would lose him if I did. And I didn't want to lose Edward.

We stayed in our bedroom, just lying down with each other. It had already been three days of waiting, and I only had until sunset tomorrow before I had to get back to Arizona.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked me. His voice was low and soft, just a low rumble I felt vibrate through his chest.

"I don't want to leave," I said. I sighed, melting into him, inhaling his scent.

"I don't want you to leave either. Believe me. All I want to do is lock you in my closet and let you stay here with me forever."

"Forever, forever?" I looked up at him, his big, sparkly green eyes gazing back down at me. He was just so beautiful. Even if he did look a little weird bald.

"Well, duh, Bella. What did you think?"

I smiled. "I dunno."

He laughed, holding me close to him. I held him back and for a few seconds, everything seemed alright.

EPOV

"I got the new Paramore CD for you," I said to Alice's practically lifeless body. "Since it came out and they're like your favorite band and what not." I played the CD in the stereo, putting it just high enough so I could hear it, but at a moderate volume so we didn't disturb everyone else.

It was actually kind of nice. But Alice's body still lay unmoving.

I thought hard about my life, what I could see in the future, and really, it all came up blank. I wasn't sure what was going to happen to me. But what if, by some cruel fate, I was to be in the same position as Alice? What if I were to have something so bad happen to me that I wouldn't be able to respond to her? What if I died?

Yes, back to this. It was all that I could think about; it was consuming my brain.

Surely I couldn't put Bella through that. I couldn't have her live through a life of pain and worry for me. I couldn't have that. Because I wouldn't be able to take care of her like I would want to. If things like this happened to me all the time, then what would become of our relationship? I would be too tired all the time to do anything, and Bella would be missing out on everything, and then I would die. So why don't I just cut myself out of it all? Why don't I just make it so that Bella wouldn't have to live through things like that with me?

It would be too hard to tell her goodbye. I—

Just thinking about it makes my heart ache. But if I didn't do it soon, then I wouldn't ever be able to.

Break up with Isabella Swan?

It seemed absolutely impossible. Just couldn't be done. Nothing could be done. And, believe it or not, it was going to hurt me more than it would hurt her.

I stayed for hours by Alice's side, hoping that somehow, she would wake up and talk me out of what I was contemplating doing. But she never did, and I was convinced it was the right way to do things. I mean, she would have to go home soon and since treatment wasn't going so well for either Alice or I, we would have to move again, and start a new routine.

And I would just forget about Bella.

Initially, I knew I couldn't and would never do it, but I also knew that this was possible. That I would be able to leave her and not remember one single thing about her, because that would be absolute torture and I couldn't handle it. So it was settled then.

I stood up and shut of the radio, kissing Alice on the forehead. I knew she wouldn't respond, and even though I did know that, my heart still crumbled when she didn't.

BPOV

I spent the day with Jasper out in the garden.

We talked a little while not anticipating our trip back home.

"Do you think she'll wake up when we leave?" he asked.

"Hopefully. I don't want her to be in a coma forever, you know." I looked at him, and his honey colored eyes gazed back. I frowned. "What?"

"I just feel like she won't you know—wake up. And I really hate that I think that, but I can't help it. She's so fragile and stuff. I think she just won't be able to take it and that would be it. The end of it all. And then I'll just have to find a way to deal with everything. You're just lucky it didn't happen to Edward," he said to me.

I scrunched up my nose in anger. "So what?" I said. "Alice is just as important to me than she is to Edward. Don't you think I'm a bit beat up about this as well?" I growled at him. "You don't get it Jasper. She was—is my best friend, and losing her is just going to be as bad as losing him, believe that, okay?"

"I can't. You're not having the girl you love die completely." His eyes were fierce with anger and rage. He was mad at me, and I hadn't done anything. "You have it easy, because even if she does die, you'll have him. I won't have anyone."

And he stormed out of the room, completely angry and pissed off. I stood up and ran, screaming at the top of my lungs, until I bumped into Edward.

His face was sad and hurt and it looked like he'd been crying. But he just scooped me up in his arms and kissed me, a strong very sad kiss, and I didn't know how to respond to something like that. So I pulled back and studied his face, wondering just what was wrong with him. His green eyes were intimidating, something I'd never seen before in my life, and that scared me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"We need to talk," he said. I looked at him, and immediately I knew something bad was going to happen; it was hanging in the air like an omen.

"Okay. What's up?" I kept my voice indifferent, but it was hard to keep the tears back.

"Come on," he said. Leading me a little ways from the house. We were walking towards a meadow like place, somewhere where there was just some flowers and trees.

I turned to look at him, looking up at his eyes. He was looking up to the sky. I hugged him, and he loosely wrapped his arms around me.

He sighed

"This isn't working." He let me go and took a solitary step back, looking away from me. It was like the air had snapped cold, taking away all of his warmth that I'd been so accustomed to.

"What's not working?" I asked. My heart was beating a hundreds of miles per hour, and I felt dizzy and lightheaded. I wasn't sure of what was going on, only that I needed to sit down. So I did, sitting on a nearby garden bench.

"Us, Bella. We're not working. And I think I've lead you on too far. Everything I'd ever done with you was a mistake, and I should have given you false hope I was going to eventually take away. We can't be together and that's the end of it. Don't try to change my mind because it won't work and you will just be wasting your time."

My mouth dropped open, my gaze immediately going down to my hands to observe the ring he'd given me not days before. He sighed.

"That was a mistake. I shouldn't have asked you for that when I knew this was going to happen."

I looked back up to him, and just stared. I couldn't make any sense of anything, at all. Nothing. "Why are you doing this to me?" I said to him. I stood up and looked at him. Searched his eyes for some meaning, something that would show me that I wasn't—that this wasn't happening.

"Because I'm trying to make it so that you don't have to live a life of regret," he said. "I'm just trying—"

"You don't know what you're doing Edward Cullen. You know absolutely nothing about this. If you were trying to help me, you wouldn't do this. You wouldn't do this to me." I turned around, and crossed my arms over my chest. Suddenly, this beautiful day didn't seem so.

"I have to, Bella. Or else you're going to hate me forever." He sighed.

"More than I hate you right now?" I asked him?

He sighed again.

"Look at me," he said.

"No."

"Bella please?"

"Fine if that's what you want."I slipped the ring off of my finger, and set it on the bench. I looked up at him, he was standing in front of me. I smiled weakly at him. "I don't want to hate you, so I'm not going to. Whatever. Everything is clear between us. I mean, we can still be friends right?"

He shook his head. "That would defeat the purpose Bella. I don't want any contact at all with you. Nothing."

"So I'm supposed to go home and forget that you ever existed?" I said.

"That would be nice, yes."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Fine. Consider everything we've ever been through forgotten. Fine by me." I turned around from him, and went back into the house.

I only had hours before Jasper and I had to go back home. And it was impossible for any contact to not happen if Jasper was going to come with me. Obviously, Esme would call to brief him on Alice. . .

Jasper was in the kitchen, still dressed in his pajamas like he'd been a while ago.

"Do you have all of your things packed?" I asked him.

"I'm not going back home," he said. "I'm staying here. Rose is coming tomorrow so she can finish high school here with me."

"Whoa. So this is it? You tell hours before I have to leave?" I said. He looked taken aback.

"What's wrong? Why are you so hurt?" he asked.

"Well apparently, no one cares about me." I stomped past him and went up to Edward and mine's bedroom. And I packed everything of mine into my bags. I didn't cry, I didn't scream. I wasn't even mad. I wasn't anything.

For the first time in a long time, I just wanted my mom. I wanted my dad. I wanted to go home, and talk to Jacob. I wanted to forget. I didn't want to deal with this any more. And I wasn't sure how to explain it.

But when I came across my lock necklace in the bathroom, I realized one thing.

It really was over, and that was the complete end of everything.

Forever.

There's a reason this happened, and I don't want you guys to hate me. :|

But you need to tell me which POV I should continue the story in for the next few chapters. It's going to go kind of fast. I hope you guys can see the connection to the books here . . .

So should I continue in Bella's POV, or Edward's?

Review!