Caroline entered Kate's cottage once again feeling like she was walking on clouds at the sight of this beautiful woman. She was shaking slightly and kept the conversation short to cover her nerves.
"Hi."
"Hello you."
"What's with the face paint Kate? You know you don't have to cover up just for me."
"Oh Caroline. Thank you. That means such a lot to me but I've been out this morning meeting with the Pharmaceutical reps. I don't think they'd be too keen to do business with a green lady do you?"
Caroline smiled. "Maybe not. Who knows Kate, they may have a witch for an auntie too!"
"How are the boys and your mother doing?"
"Well my mother is furious which is what I expected so I'm not going to lose sleep over her. She will have to decide whether she wants my relationship or not."
Kate moved closer towards the magnificent blonde beauty, placing her arms around Caroline and hugging her, stroking her back in soothing caresses.
"That's really nice. Can you do that all night please?"
"Mmmm, definitely. Sorry, how were the boys?"
"Lawrence was really upset on the back of John leaving. I do feel for him. He's had such a lot to deal with lately and he is still only 15. William was lovely. He was just pleased that I was happy."
Kate smiled at the woman who had taken her heart. She found herself thinking she had to pinch herself. She was so lucky since everyone else before her had run away. She still had her insecurities with restless sleep with nightmares of Caroline leaving her.
"Caroline, I'm so pleased you came round today. I've wanted to see you so much. I still can't help thinking you will wake up and realise how horrible I am, how ugly. How evil I look. I can't…"
Kate's tears came thick and fast, the warmth of Caroline's touches helping her release all the pain of the past 20 years. She cried for her mother so far away and she cried for the curse that was her life. She cried for the woman in her arms who was so accepting and understanding. Was she really so lucky to have found the love she so desperately wanted.
Caroline pulled her in closer and whispered soothing words in her ear. "You're not horrible and you certainly don't look evil. When I met you on the way to Pat's party I thought you were the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen. The sight of your bum and those legs…well."
Kate found herself smiling at Caroline's confession. She tried to stifle a yawn as she smiled and Caroline could see she looked very tired.
"Kate, have you been sleeping okay?"
"I've been in the lab all night. I thought I'd got a break through again but it didn't work out. I feel so wiped. It's like being on an emotional roller coaster. I get so close and it's there somewhere out of my reach but I can't touch it."
"I'm sorry Kate. Maybe you should try taking a break from it. Maybe you're too tired to be truly focused on what you're doing. I know when I was at Unit my work done late at night was not the best. It took me a good year and a lecture from my tutor to realise I was too tired."
Kate's tiredness came out and she snapped pushing aware from their embrace.
"How can I Caroline. I can't stop now! You don't know how this feels. My true happiness is on the line. I can't be out in the world and I can't be free until I find the key link."
Caroline pulled away from Kate creating some space between them. She paced the floor in front of her lover.
"I'm sorry Kate. You're right I don't truly know how it must feel living with this day in day out. However, I do know how it feels to hide something very fundamental to who you are for years and how miserable it makes you. I've lived with that emotional drain but thanks to you I'm finding my freedom. I'm here to support you and I will help you in any way I can."
"I'm sorry Caroline. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm so tired and I feel shattered. I think I need to get some sleep. Would you come and lay down with me?"
Caroline smiled and took Kate into her arms kissing her warm soft lips. They were gentle sweet kisses of love and understanding. It wasn't the time for passion. Caroline wanted her but Kate was too fragile for that right now.
"Lead the way my lady."
Kate took Caroline's hand and together they climbed the stairs to Kate's bedroom. They entered the open bedroom door. Kate's room was painted with straw coloured walls, light green accessories finished off the soft furnishings and the covers on her large double bed.
Kate let go of Caroline's hand and closed the pale green woven curtains, turning on the table lamps bathing the room is soft, warm light. Kate pulled back the covers on her bed and kicked off her shoes.
"Caroline, I need to get a shower before I go to bed to get this stuff off. I won't be long."
Kate disappeared into the en-suite. Caroline busied herself looking around Kate's room at her things. Book shelves full of biology, genealogy and epidemia books. Caroline noticed the books on the floor by Kate's bed. It was obvious that Kate spent a great deal of time seeking the answer to her personal future.
There were also small paintings of wild flowers covering the walls. Caroline moved closer, studying the pictures, fascinated by the details and the subjects. Lavender, Rosemary and Thyme were the subjects and Caroline could see Kate surrounded herself with nature's essence.
Kate came out the bathroom naked, smiling at Caroline not breaking their eye contact. Kate moved the duvet back keeping her eyes on Caroline, laying down, and inviting Caroline to join her.
Caroline moved towards the bed, kicking her own shoes off, crawling onto the bed, laying back inviting Kate to cuddle into her. Wrapping her left arm around Kate's back she breathed in the scent of Kate's fragrant soap. Kate leaned her head on Caroline's chest and found herself drifting off with the sounds of Caroline's beating heart.
Caroline listened to Kate's breathing deepen and found herself drifting off in the comfort of their embrace.
Caroline woke feeling disorientated not knowing where she was and what time it was. She checked her watch realising it was a quarter to midnight. She studied Kate's face and gently stroked her cheek. Whispering quietly not wishing to shock this contented woman Caroline leaned in.
"Kate. Kate, sorry to wake you but I have to go. It's late and William will be wondering where I am. He's on his own and I don't want to leave him."
Kate took a few seconds to come round and she smiled at the feel of Caroline's closeness, breathing in her scent.
"It's okay Caroline. I understand you have to go. I'm really pleased you came to stay with me tonight. I'm sorry I fell asleep but I was so very tired. Are you able to come over later tomorrow night?"
Caroline smiled and gently moved Kate's hair away from her face.
"Why don't you take a night off and come over to mine for dinner. You could stay over, that way we wouldn't have to rush. You could meet with William and Lawrence too?"
Kate sighed and felt torn with her work and the desire to spend time with her new lover.
"Caroline. Can we leave it until next week please? I'm sorry to turn you down. I really want to spend the night with you but I have a deadline with the Pharmaceutical Company. They are funding my work so I can't miss the deadlines otherwise they may withdraw the funding."
Caroline smiled giving a reassuring look to Kate but inside she felt disappointed. She wanted to spent time getting to know Kate and exploring their love further. But Kate's face told her she was under pressure and needed to keep her focus.
"Okay. I could come over and cook tea for you here? That way you can spend more time on your work. I'd offer to help you in the lab but I'm sure I'd only get in the way wanting to know what you were doing. I know I'd just start asking lots of questions and slow you down."
Kate smiled. "Caroline would you really do that for me?"
"Of course, why ever not?"
Kate was excited and now wide awake wishing she could get into the lab.
"Caroline. When I pass the deadline I'd like to show you my work. I'd really be interested in your own theories. I'd really like to explain things to you and for you to ask questions. A fresh set of eyes could help me find the breakthrough."
Caroline laughed at Kate as she got out of bed.
"I don't know about that but I'd be honoured to help in any way I can. How does peppered steak sound?"
Caroline threw her keys into the bowl on the hall cabinet. The house was quiet with a small lamp on in the kitchen by the window. She found her mother asleep in the chair next to the kitchen worktop.
She lean't down next to her mother and gently shook her arm.
"Mum, mum, wake up."
"What? Oh, sorry Caroline. What time is it?"
"It's late, I'm sorry I lost track of time. Is everything okay?"
"Yes. It's fine. William was a little upset earlier. I guess you told him about you and this woman?"
Caroline sighed. Why did every chat with her mother turn into tension and conflict lately? Was this the way it was going to be for her to stand her ground. She dearly hoped not.
"Mum please. I don't want to argue with you about this. I can't change who I am and I have the right to be happy too. You have Alan and I've seen how it has changed you and made you whole. For the first time in years I feel happy and whole. I've been depressed for years, emotionally numb and hollow. Can't you see a change in me?"
Celia looked at her daughter. She knew Caroline definitely had a spring in her step lately and she seemed to smile more.
"Mmmm. I see you're happy and you're obviously out more enjoying yourself. But why do you have to shout it out to everyone? Why does everyone have to know about it?"
Caroline took a seat opposite her mother and held onto her hands.
"Mum. Could you really hide how you feel for Alan? Could you honestly not tell your friends about him? Deny that you are in a relationship when you both visit his Doctor? When the hairdresser asks why you're smiling all the time could you tell her nothing? Or worse could you really make something up to hide what you feel inside?"
Celia smiled and looked at her daughter, stroking her face. "No. I couldn't hide Alan. But what Alan and I have is not something people will gossip about or be shocked or uncomfortable with."
"How can you say that? You really don't know whether people will be shocked that you're having a relationship with someone new at your age. Some people may be very shocked. But do you really care if people are?"
Celia smiled. "I couldn't give a fiddle about what people thing about me and Alan. That's their problem. I'm happy and I love him very much."
Caroline smiled at her mother. "Well. That's how I feel too mum. I really don't care what people think. I'm happier than I've been in years. So there you are. I can't truly say I'm in love yet. I think it's too early but I know I think about her all the time. I really miss her when we're not together and I know I would do anything for her. Can't you understand that mum?"
Celia sighed. "I can, but it's still not normal and people will gossip about you. You have such a great job and a fantastic career. Do you really want to throw all you've achieved away for this… this, well…woman?"
The redness on Caroline's chest grew deeper as her fury increased.
"Kate. This woman is called Kate mother. I don't call Alan that Man so please offer me the same courtesy. Goodnight."