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Chapter Eight – Swedish Procrastination

She was running late – their guests were about to arrive and she wasn't ready – but she couldn't care less. She had other priorities, some she couldn't escape from. The urge to see it all – one more time – to remember that it wasn't just a dream was stronger than any social obligation.

Wrapped in her bath towel, Maura stepped into the room on her tiptoes and went to sit on one of the multiple cardboard boxes that they hadn't opened yet. She let her eyes wander from one side to another while a smile of satisfaction played on her lips. If she were to be honest then she would admit that the room looked like a post office, a not so tidy one.

Boxes of different shapes and sizes littered the room. They had put them all against a wall at first but had then decided to open a couple of them and before they could realize what was happening, a joyful mess was now reigning all over the place.

"I'm not sure it's the best moment for an Ikea torture. We still have like four months to do it..." Leaned against the door frame – hands in the pockets of her jeans – Jane laughed and rolled her eyes. "I know I'm the one who insisted on going to Ikea but when I see the amount of furniture we're gonna have to assemble... Something tells me I'd have listened to you instead."

They had taken a day off to go to the Swedish store. The adoption papers were ready – everything was settled – so they had assumed that it was now time for them to start buying furniture.

They would go for an ultrasound with Petunia by the end of the week – the first one for them – and the truth was that they couldn't be happier. Everything was falling into place just the way they had imagined.

"No. I actually like the idea of doing something more than writing down a cheque. We do it for our child, for our son... You know what I think about parents who assume that money brings the required parental love."

Jane finally entered the nursery room and went to sit next to Maura. She hadn't missed the way her friend's voice had started shaking, revealing thus an old and deep wound within herself. Maura hadn't said it openly but it was evident that she didn't want to repeat the same mistakes as the ones her adoptive parents had made with her. She loved her parents – she didn't even question that – but she still had a lot of resentment regarding her very own childhood and what her parents had thought to be fair and right.

"You're not gonna be like that. Don't worry... Look how you are with TJ. You're super protective and you don't stop covering him with kisses."

"When you give me a chance to hold him!" Maura turned to Jane and smiled at her. "It is a joke. I am trying hard to be better at this because humor is actually quite important for children. I read something on the matter the other day in a science magazine."

Jane was about to add something when Maura's bath towel caught her attention. The towel had got loose and the cotton fabric had started sliding down her body. Without thinking twice about it, she brought her hand to her friend's chest to make sure that Maura wouldn't find herself naked within the next five seconds.

"Oh!"

Maura froze. She hadn't felt her bath towel getting loose yet she surely could now feel Jane's fingers on top of her breasts.

The gesture had been slightly approximate and if Jane had managed to grab back the towel just on time, her brain hadn't told her to reach for it from another angle.

"You were losing it, Maura." Mortified. Jane was mortified. She didn't dare to move as long as her friend didn't grab back the towel herself yet she could not ignore the hot skin her fingertips were now touching. Hot and smooth, still wet from the shower. "Nobody's supposed to make a strip-tease in a nursery. This is highly inappropriate."

Finally finding some courage to make eye-contact with Maura, Jane looked up and swallowed hard. Maura hadn't moved an inch. She was observing her in the strangest way ever as if lost in an ocean of confusing wonders.

"Is anybody here?"

Angela's voice brought them back to reality. Maura grabbed her towel – stood up – and walked out of the room in a whirl of inaudible apologies.

"Yeah. We're upstairs. I'm comin', ma'."

By the time Jane reached the corridor, Maura had disappeared from her sight. She had probably gone to dress up in her own bedroom. Petunia and her boyfriend were supposed to come over for dinner. They would be there within a minute now. Maura had to hurry up.

Trying to put her odd discomfort aside, Jane went downstairs and forced a smile at her mother. It was the first time that the matriarch would meed Petunia. It was an important day for everyone, one more step towards their child. Their plan had never looked as real as it now was. Within three months and a half now, she and Maura would be mothers.

Jane had a hard time to believe that it was finally happening and that everyone was so supportive. They were living a dream, the sweetest one ever.

"Oh boy. What the hell is this, ma'? " Jane froze the moment she looked up and came to face at least twenty huge presents set down on the couch and on the coffee table. "We told you it wasn't a baby shower! It's just an informal dinner."

"This woman is carrying my grandchild, Jane. Offering her some stuff is the least I could do."

"But this isn't a 'welcome in the family' present. You bought half of Toys R' Us! And what did you buy, besides? We already have most of the stuff we need. Please tell me there's no toddler car in this. Maura doesn't want any."

Jane didn't miss the way her mother snorted. She slowly turned her head to look at her and frowned.

What now? It was an informal dinner yet an important one. There was no point in giving Maura an opportunity to go all wild about kids' toys.

"You are so whipped, Jane. Your wife got you so whipped."

Jane rolled her eyes. She hated it when her mother did that and she knew that she did it on purpose just to go on her nerves a little more than the usual. Angela was good at that, way too good. Jane had sworn to herself that she wouldn't be this kind of mother. No. She would be a cool one, not an Italian mamma bear.

"Maura isn't my wife." The remark made Angela smirk. "Okay, she is. But not... Not really!"

...

Nobody – absolutely nobody – gets Jane Rizzoli-Isles whipped. Do you hear me? Absolutely nobody. This is nonsense. I do things because I want to do them, not because Maura would ask me to do them or because I would be too scared of her reaction if I didn't do them. Nope. That's a lie.

I went to this indie movie festival because I thought it could be interesting. I went to that spa thing because I'm not getting any younger and taking care of my skin is good for me. I go to the MoMa because it's important to see a bit of art from time to time. It keeps you open-minded about... About plenty of things.

I. Am. Not. Whipped.

What's so funny about this? Why are you laughing? Ugh. You're not being very considerate, you know. I'm your mother. You should be more respectful.

Anyway.

Back to your story...

The dinner went very well. My mother loved Petunia right away and Petunia didn't run away the moment she met her so it was just one more sign that comforted Maura and I in our decision.

Luckily for everyone, there was no toddler car among the presents but I'm not saying that because I'd be whipped. It's just an extra piece of information for you in case you were wondering.

Petunia became part of our family in the most natural way ever. You know, sometimes you meet people in your life and it's like they were meant to be. It just works out. Right away. There's no effort to make, no adaptation whatsoever. You hit it off and it makes you happy. Well, that's what happened with Petunia.

We knew we were being lucky. We had read many articles about adoption and how long the process could be. What we were living was almost unfair compared to all these couples who had to fight for years to finally welcome their child under their roof. Maura and I... We simply got married, went to a few adoption agencies and met one girl.

Nobody ever made any kind of negative remark, nobody ever tried to drag us down in our project. Alright, Petunia and the adoption agency didn't know that Maura and I weren't really a couple but I don't think it would have changed anything if they had to got to know about it because they trusted us. They saw in us two people who would make great parents.

And when I see you now – in one piece and all – I think we kind of did a good job with you. Okay maybe making you ride Bass or introducing you to chemistry at the age of one are not the brightest ideas we ever had but you never broke a bone, you never got super sick.

The memories I have of you – the very first ones – are the ones of a happy child. Your laughter filled the house, you constantly smiled. You were a very easy baby and you grew up to be the best kid we could have hoped for.

We probably made some mistakes but the thing is... There's no real parenting guide. It's the first thing you learn when you become a mother. You've read ton of books to get ready for this moment but when it's there you reality they have been pointless because it's all about trusting your instinct and being able to adapt to a certain context and to the child's personality. Because we're all different, you know. We're all unique. And what works with one doesn't necessarily turn out to be a success with another one.

We did our best and I'm sure you know this. We taught you about love and tolerance which are probably the most important notions in life. Our job is done. You're a wonderful person.

As for the Ikea furniture, I'm pretty sure there're still some stuff we haven't assembled yet but... Whatever.