Author's note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and messages (I will reply to the PMs tomorrow)/ re-closed/open adoptions: it is written according to Maura's point of view so she's definitely more talking about herself in the end than anything else even if she only says it through halfwords.

Chapter Ten – Getting To Know You

"May I ask you a question? A personal one?" Petunia looked down at her plate, at the mercy of uncertainty. "I have been thinking about it for a while."

Maura immediately nodded. She was ecstatic. As a matter of fact, she had been ecstatic the moment she had got to know that she would spend the day with her son's birth mother. The bond she shared with Petunia was a precious one and she enjoyed the young woman's presence a lot. Of course they would have never met if it hadn't been for Petunia's pregnancy but Maura saw in the student a lot more than just someone carrying her baby.

Petunia's presence in her life brought something very positive.

"When did you know that you wanted to marry Jane? When did you understand that it was what you wanted? You know, a future together and all."

So much for being ecstatic. A wave of panic insidiously passed underneath Maura's skin to spread its iciness through her veins. How come she hadn't thought that – one day – Petunia would become a bit curious about their so-called couple? It was so logical.

"Ahem..." Maura stared at her glass of water. She should have ordered wine. What a bad idea she had had to not go for alcohol. Wine would have helped. A lot. "You know, Jane and I are... We are not the average couple."

"Because you're two women? Oh, come on! Who cares about that? Or better said, who should care about that? You lead very balanced lives, you are balanced adults. Your sexual orientation is as random as anyone else's in this room."

Maura held back a laugh but felt extremely bad for Petunia. Of course it had little to do with the idea of being married to a woman – she had never seen it as an issue – but her marriage to Jane's was not a romantic one at all. And this was the kind of detail that she didn't want to reveal to the birth mother of her child.

"Five years ago. I knew that I wanted to marry her five years ago. It made sense, a lot of sense actually. It is just about finding the right person – the one who makes you feel so fine – and life seems so easy... Suddenly you don't feel lonely anymore and there is this little something that happens in your heart whenever you see her. Do you see what I mean? Like a pinch of some sort, the softest one ever. Everything is... Jane is an evidence into my life. A pure logic."

The smile that played on Petunia's lips didn't reassure Maura the slightest bit. She absolutely didn't like what she had just said because it was not the way she was supposed to feel. Not with Jane.

Something was happening in spite of her efforts to pretend the exact opposite; something that shouldn't be happening. And she had just blurted it out.

Well done.

"You look very pale. Are you okay? Please tell me you're not that shy. I know you and Jane are very discreet – I've never seen you hold hands nor kiss – so maybe I alluded to something that is none of my business. I'm sorry."

Maura grabbed her glass of water and took a very long sip of it. How come she hadn't thought about all of this? Petunia was highlighting details that she and Jane should have thought about. They didn't look like a couple, did they?

Of course, they never kissed. Of course, they never held hands.

Except it should have been different.

"No, I am fine. Just... Just a bit hot, right now. Temperatures are very high, today. The summer is coming." Maura closed her eyes for a couple of seconds and tried to focus on something relevant to say. "How did your midterm exams go?"

Petunia barely hid a smirk. She vaguely motioned a stack of paper on her left and rolled her eyes. She was a very good student, hard-working. A serious one.

"It went okay. I could have done better if I hadn't felt like peeing every five seconds." She grabbed one of the cookies from her plate and began to chew on it. "I'm a perfectionist. It's not always easy. I hope Timothy – or whatever Jane will accept to call him – will manage to chill out more than I do. It's not cool to never be entirely satisfied of what you do."

"You want to get married, don't you?" Maura bit the inside of her cheek. Why was she bringing back the subject that had made her feel so awkward five seconds earlier? "I am crossing the lines, I am sorry."

"It's okay. Actually, you're kind of right. I mean, it's not in the near future but it's still something I'mt thinking about. I don't know if I'm made for the married life. I want to be a journalist. I want to travel the world and cover conflicts... Wars... I was just wondering if it was an evidence, if it strikes us one day and we suddenly realize it's what we want."

Maura nodded slowly but took her time to reply. The truth was that she didn't have anything to say. She didn't have any advice to give. She hadn't dated Jane. They had got married for administrative purposes. Yet she knew that it was something she would have never done with anyone else.

"I always thought marriage wasn't made for me. I wanted to have children but getting married... Not so much. I had wedding fantasies though but these were just fantasies. I didn't want them to come true. Yet it happened so... Never say never!"

"Do you regret it?"

Petunia's question took her aback. She didn't have half of the young woman's self-confidence at the same age. Petunia would be a terrific journalist. She had what it took to keep her chin up and ask whatever she wanted to ask.

"Not the slightest bit. If there is one person in the world I could get married to, it had to be Jane. This is something I am sure of. And look at us, now. We are leading a sweet life. We are happy."

"And you are going to have a son named Timothy..."

Maura burst out laughing. Petunia seemed to enjoy the way Jane couldn't stand the name. There was something childish in her reaction, something sweet as well. She and Maura loved teasing her with it. Whenever Jane was around, they made sure to address the baby as if his name were officially Timothy. It made Jane cringe.

"We are, indeed."

In less than three months, they would hold him in their arms and would be able to cover him of kisses. And what was a three-month wait in a life? Absolutely nothing.

...

There had been the kiss on top of my head – my stupidity with the bath towel – and these nights I had spent in her bed when she had hurt her back. They haunted me in a tantalizing way. So when she let me know about Petunia's remarks about our 'couple', I panicked. I didn't show it though and I still hope to this day that Maura didn't see anything but... But yes, it made me panic because deep inside I knew that something was happening.

I wasn't completely aware of my feelings yet – yes, I'm slow, deal with it – but it had become clear that Maura and I had got closer since we had got married.

At first I thought it was because of the adoption. We were ecstatic and it couldn't but strengthen the bond that linked us. But then, I realized it had very little to do with the imminent birth of our child. It went beyond that.

Sometimes I wonder if it'd have happened even if we hadn't sealed this pact. What if it hadn't? The mere thought it'd have been different freaks me out. The past eighteen years have been the best years of my life. I couldn't even imagine not living them. And it's not just about Maura and I... I mean, you wouldn't be here yourself.

We tried to act a bit more like a real couple after Petunia's questions. It was hard because of this incomprehension that was lying in our respective hearts but what an immense satisfaction – a shameful one – to be able to hold Maura's hand, to allow myself to offer her the most sincere smile of all times. It was a dangerous game but we couldn't go backwards anymore. We didn't want to, in the end.

Nobody else made any remark about the way we seemed to have got closer. I'm pretty sure now that they just assumed by then that we were officially – not so administratively – together and that we just didn't want to say it. What a strange love story...

As your mother said, there was a lot lof laughter and smiles at the time. We were genuinely happy. But maybe it was also to hide better all these blurry feelings that were becoming too hard to ignore.

There was a lot of untold confusion.

You remind me of Petunia. You're a perfectionist – I blame Maura for it and I totally assume it which proves, one more time, that I'm not whipped – and a very hard-working student. And you wanna be a journalist. It's weird because we never pushed you towards all this. Actually, we never told you much about her in the first place. Life can be oddly mysterious.

All I know is that I hope you felt okay, that you always felt complete. We never tried to hide anything from you. We always told you everything we knew and when you had questions, we did our best to answer to you. Maybe we made some mistakes because every adoption is unique but I sincerely hope Maura and I provided you the comforting environment you wanted to have.

And we brought you love. Actually, we'll keep on bringing you some no matter what. This is our main job, now.

Also, don't listen to your grandmother. We're absolutely not in a hurry for grandchildren. Take your time. Live your life to the fullest. Maura and I are too young to be grandmas.