Hi guys. Look! I'm posting, and it's only been like two days. That's a record. Enjoy it, because it might not last. I'm thinking about updating this one every Saturday, but I'm not sure, so don't count on it wonderful readers you :]

But soon I will have days where I'll update all my stories. I have a new one. It's called With Blood Like Chocolate. Read and review guys. Reviews are like magical rainbows that make me post faster. And any suggestions would be awesome too. I'm totally up for those. :]

Any ways, on with the wonderful story that you want to read. :]

And don't freaking hate me guys, for doing this, because this story does have a plot. I wrote so on the first effing chapter. So I give you sex, and then whatever else comes after. Eventually everything will pop right back into its kinky place.

Okay, like I said in my author's note, I had to rewrite this scene to keep from offending anyone. So here's the new chapter.

:Warning: Rape scene ahead. Will be marked by the beginning and the end if it wants to be avoided.

BPOV

That night had been almost the most amazing sex of my life. To be stimulated like that was amazing. And Edward. . .

Edward was something else. It made me nervous that something like that with him was so comfortable. Of course Edward had a lot of experience with girls, just like had experience with guys. Because even if Edward was willing to share me, however reluctantly, he was all mine, whether he knew that or not.

And judging by that sexy smile he had on his face, I think he did.

I sat up from Edward's bed, where we had finally made it to at the end of last night, and rolled on top of him.

He laughed. I kissed him hard on his sexy lips, thrusting my tongue into his hot mouth. He caressed my body with his hands, like his tongue cared for my mouth, and I was wetter than I thought I could have been because of a kiss.

We were so happy together. Sex just made it so much better.

Edward pulled me onto him fully; continuing the sensual, mind blowing kiss. I moaned in his mouth, and he gripped my ass, pulling me closer. His hard, delicious cock nudged me where I was warm and wet, wanting in. And I wanted him in.

His fingers teased my entrance, delving in and out slowly.

He groaned in the kiss, and I moved my hips in tandem to his fingers. My clit rubbed against Edward's cock, him not being in me, but was rubbing so very lusciously against my core.

And then he rolled me onto my back, pulling away from me when I was so very close to coming. He hovered over me, kissing me, and then caressed my body with light, loving touches that made my body beg for him.

But this time, I knew it wasn't sex. I knew that this was different than anything we'd ever done.

Edward slipped into me slowly, still kissing me, and I pulled away, silently screaming at the . . . feeling I felt.

I'm not going to lie. Edward fucked, and he fucked good. So good, I thought I'd never be able to find someone to enjoy sex with ever again.

But now, Edward didn't just tell me how fucking wet I was, or tell me how tight I was, or how hard I made him. He was silent, looking into my eyes, as he thrust into me gently over and over again.

EPOV

I was making love to Bella.

I knew that.

And even though she enjoyed it, her eyes conveyed confusion. Was I wrong to do it? To hold her tightly to my body as I pleased her like she wanted? Was I wrong to kiss her so passionately she could only beg for more? Was I wrong to want to love her?

And I did love her. Despite what she thought, I didn't want to share Bella last night with Jasper. But if she wanted to, I could only want to as well. Because I didn't want to chase her away from me with my fucking feelings. But I just didn't like the feeling of jealousy, while Jasper fucked her, and I was left to do it again and again.

And for some reason, I couldn't think of Bella as another chick I was going to fuck for a while and get bored. I couldn't think of her as short term.

No.

It was everything about her that consumed me.

The way she held me, the way she whispered in my ear, how close to my body she was.

So I did what my instincts told me to do and I made love to her.

She linked her legs behind my back, giving me a new angle to thrust into her. She was so warm and so tight it just made me go ballistic. She moved with me, moaning silently and whispering my name. And whatever she asked I did.

"Edward," she gasped, "kiss me."

I leaned down and kissed her spot on her neck, and she made that sexy, breathy sound that drove me off the edge. She was close. I could feel her need like it was hitting me like a ton of bricks.

I quickened my pace, but only by a little, and Bella bucked her hips to mine, creating friction between our bodies I hadn't ever felt before.

"Edward, please," she whispered, her back arching. "I'm . . ."

And we came together. She clenched around me, her body shuddering as she came hard. She threw her head back and screamed, her nails digging into my forearms.

I spilled everything I had into her, thanking God she was on the pill. And then I collapsed on her body. She kissed me sweetly, and when I pulled away to look at her, I realized she was crying. Tears were streaming down her face. I wiped them away. Kissing her again. And she kissed me back, her lips wet and trembling, but with as much passion as I had.

And then she pulled away from me. "No one ever made love to me before, Edward," she whispered. "And I couldn't believe how much I liked it."

"Was that okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. I just-that was so powerful Edward." Her eyes searched mine, and I cracked.

"I love you."

Bella pulled away from me. She studied my face. And then she smacked me.

I wanted to slam her on the bed, watch her squirm. I hated physical pain, or when people hit me. I guess didn't respond to pain to well. But that would have been any other girl. But Bella was different. I just looked after her, wishing I wouldn't have done that.

"No, Edward," she said while getting up from the bed. "Not when we're having sex. Don't do that shit to me. You gotta be fucking serious if you're going to say that to me. I'm not going to be a skank ass bitch you fuck and string along and then leave. don't ever tell me that shit, Edward!" She screamed at me. She started out the door, picking up her clothing and putting it on. I went after her. She had tears in her eyes and her face was red.

"Let. Me. Go," she said lethally.

And that was it. I let her arm go from my tight grasp, and then watched her as she went downstairs, pulling on her jeans and leaving the house.

I went back to my room and left to take a shower.

Don't get me wrong, because I felt as bad and I could have ever felt. I'd just been rejected. Rejection didn't feel so hot, no matter who I was.

BPOV

How dare he say shit like that to me. How did he think he had a right to invade me like that. He loved me? Yeah. He loved the sex I gave him. He didn't love me. No one loved me, because love was fake and it's stupid and it makes people fake and stupid.

A thousand fucks didn't get you love. Neither did a thousand cuts. Nothing was love. Everything was just masked in commercial color, pretty pastels that masked the dirty, rusty wheels of evil. Nothing was right, just like love was wrong. It wasn't real.

Nothing was what it was, so it wasn't what it should have been. And everything was nothing and nothing was still nothing, so time was nothing, and life was a waste.

And it was all because Edward Cullen told me he fucking loved me.

There was no such thing as love. Good sex, but no love.

I walked inside of the house, noticing it was empty. There was a note from Charlie on the kitchen table.

Left to New York on business. Be back in two weeks. I left money for food and stuff in the grocery jar. If you need more, there's a few hundred in the first drawer of the bureau in my room.

"Thanks Dad," I mumbled to myself.

"My Isabella, have you filled out."

I whipped my head around and saw James, standing there in front of the door. I took a step back, falling down to the floor.

"Nice tits, nice ass, and I bet you're just as tight as I remember you to be. Are you Isabella? Are you still so tight that I could fuck you forever?" His smile was gross, that of a psycho. And I was scared.

Why couldn't I have just stayed with Edward?

"What's a matter baby? Didn't you miss me?" he cooed. I spit in his face.

He growled at me and then backhanded me across the face. I saw stars.

"You bitch. I'm going to make you pay for that. Starting right now."

:RAPE SCENE Begins:

He pushed me down on the floor, yanking down my pants, undoing his zipper.

I was wet, but that was only because I had just finished having sex with Edward. But when he entered me, it wasn't through my vag like I thought it would be. He turned me onto my stomach, while I tried not to throw up, and fucked my ass mercilessly. I tried to move as I screamed at the pain, screaming for him to stop. It didn't feel good like when Edward had done it. It felt like I was being ripped apart, and all I could feel was burning and my eyes shut tight.

I screamed again. "Please! James! Stop, stop you're hurting me!"

"No you fucking little bitch," he panted. "You fucking like, it, so sit there and take it, while I fuck your ass like you know you want me to."

He pulled my hair with one hand, using the other to hold down my arms on my back And I knew I was out, but I kept hearing him grunt, and call me a bitch and disgusting, and how he was going to fuck me until I couldn't feel my body. Well. He was definitely getting there.

I just wished someone was getting here to save me.

I woke up in my bed, naked, but alive. I was tied to the posts, spread open for everyone to see. And as much as I wanted to move and get free, my muscles felt like they were being ripped apart every time I moved. And God, I was so hungry. My stomach grumbled relentlessly, the sound so loud it rattled my head. I could only see barely, the room was dark. But I could feel that I was massively sore down there. And it wasn't like a had-sex-too-much-and-now-I-need-time-to-recuperate kind of sore, but like painful. I felt like I'd been ripped apart and I couldn't move.

And it didn't help that I was crashing, and wanting another buzz. I was hot and my body was cramping, and I was thirsty. I needed something in my system. I needed the coke, the weed, the ex. I needed alcohol. Because that was the only way I'd be able to cope with everything that was happening.

James came back and touched me four more times.

He didn't bother to make me wet, make it some sort of slick so it wouldn't be so painful. I thrashed about, trying to make him pull out. I didn't want his nasty cock. I didn't want anything to do with him.

But he just lifted my hips in his strong grip, and thrust painfully into me again.

I screamed bloody murder. But then I didn't resist as much as I had been, only because my body was getting numb from all the pain Not to mention the massive beating he'd given me when I bit his cock when he tried to force me to suck him off. It hurt when I breathed, and my throat was so dry, screaming was useless. It was as if I wasn't going to ever be saved. But the lack of food and lack of water made me dizzy, and I passed out again.

When I woke up, I felt someone tugging at the ropes on my arms, cutting into my skin. I could feel the blood run down my arms. I screamed and moved, trying to get free of whoever was touching me.

"Bella! Bella, it's me, Edward. Bella? Bella!?"

I heard Edward's voice continue to call my name, but I was so gone it didn't even matter. And I was sure that I was dreaming. I was damn sure of that. And it was hurting me. The ropes were hurting my wrists and ankles.

And I was so hungry . . .

:RAPE SCENE ends:

My eyes flashed open, and they met green.

"What happened?" I said. "Why am I here?"

Edward just stared at me, horror masking the beautiful planes of his face.

"Bella calm down," he said.

I took deep breaths. I knew why I was here. I knew. It was because of what James had done to me. What he'd done over and over, what I couldn't fight back. I needed to eat. I was so hungry and thirsty.

"Edward," I said softly. And then I burst into tears.

"It's okay Bella, it's okay. You're safe now."

"How long was I out? I asked.

"About two weeks," he said. I cried more.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Annie," Edward called. I looked up at him.

"Who the fuck is Annie?" I asked.

"She's the doctor that stayed here to help you. As you can see, you're not in my room Bella. But I didn't know if I should take you to the hospital, so I had Annie come and take care of you," he said.

I had thoughts that she was going to be this hot nurse, but she wasn't.

She was clearly an old lady but she was efficient in her work, because I didn't feel like shit anymore. I felt better. I was in pain, but my body did feel sore, like I'd been sleeping for too long.

"Sweetie, you're okay," she said. I gave her a smile.

"You're good to go, though you should take it easy if you're both sexually active."

I nodded.

"But I'm okay? I'm not injured or anything?"

She smiled and shook her head.

"No, sweetie, you've healed up very nicely. Everything should be fine," Annie said.

"Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it," I said.

"She walked over to me, and unhooked me from monitors and IV and all that wonderful stuff they put people on while they're in a coma. And I did feel good. I really did. But I felt so tired, once Edward carried me to a soft plushy bed with blankets and sheets galore, I fell asleep on contact.

I woke up in Edward's room though. And I felt healthy. Healthier than I thought I would. I was okay, but I was aching for a cock right about now. And given the situation, I didn't think I was going to get one. But damn, I was so horny.

Edward was lying asleep beside me, not touching me at all. But I wanted him to. I wanted him to take me for all I was worth. Because what happened with James was in the past now, and all I wanted to do was fuck somebody senseless.

But instead of waking Edward up, and feeling his masculine body all over mine, his fingers squeezing the solid peaks that were my nipples, and thrusting his throbbing, hard, fucking delicious cock in my mouth, I stood up and went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror. I looked disgusting. A mess, like I hadn't see the sun in centuries. And my teeth could use a brushing . . . or six.

And from what I could tell, I wasn't injured in a lot of other places. Just a cut here and there, a bruise every so often, but nothing inordinary.

I wondered idly how long I'd been out.

But I took a shower, rinsing off all the memories. Did that make sense? That I could forget something like that so vile that just one shower could wash everything away.

But I did. There was nothing but the memories of Edward touching me, because it was all I could handle. Edward saying he was going to fuck me so hard we'd have to keep doing it to remember. I could only remember Edward's fingers in me, playing around with the dripping wetness that happened when he gave me that goddamned smile.

I thought of the way he made love to me, the way he kissed me so nicely and deliciously.

I shut off the water.

I sat in the tub, closing my eyes and thinking of the only man that ever made me come. The only man that pushed me into orgasms so amazing, I had to be forced to come down from that high. I thought about Edward's tongue swirling around my engorged clit, bringing me to scream his name like I had never ever done before.

I let my hand trail down to where the slick wetness of my body turned thick and warm. Opening my legs wide, rubbing my clit like my life depended on it.

"Having fun without me?"

I looked up, not daring to stop what I'd started.

"Oh, Fuck," I said, shutting my eyes. And then I felt him, more than heard him, come over to me, push away my hand and continue the job himself. I clutched to his shoulder, shutting my eyes. But then I pushed Edward's hand away, climbing out of the bathtub and throwing myself on top of him.

I pulled down his boxers and let him fill me, just basking in the feeling of the hard cock that was in my wet, aching pussy. And then I moved, up and down Edward's shaft, as he moaned for me to continue.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I said.

His eyes found mine and they were sad. He pulled me down harder onto him. I moaned his name.

"You broke my heart," he said. His voice no more than a whisper of breath.

A tear leaked out from my eyes and down my cheek.

I rode him slower.

"I know," I said softly. And then we were silent. But I stared into his eyes. My skin burned from everything I saw.

And in his eyes, I wasn't some skank bitch that he would fuck and get bored of. Because it seemed like all the sex we ever had anymore was making love.

And there was a reason I had let this happen. I let it happen, because I liked the feeling of someone caring for me.

Sure. Edward and I had a lot of sex. We did. But, it was the things we did outside of sex that mattered too. Him taking my hand and kissing it during biology class, and returning back to his work without another word. How he went on walk through the woods with me, how he told me I was beautiful, even though I had just woken up in the morning, and looked like a fire truck hit me on a way to an emergency.

It was all that, and the fact that we were so connected. Really connected. Like soul mate connected. Could that shit really happen? Or was it only for stupid fairy tales that no one fucking believes in?

No matter what I thought, as Edward and I were on the floor of his bathroom, I couldn't help that I wanted him. I needed him.

But I couldn't tell him I loved him.

And when our climaxes hit us, I knew why.

Anybody who'd ever told me they loved me always tried to hurt me.

James.

My mother.

Charlie.

Ex-boyfriends.

Best friends.

None of those people told me that I mattered. That I was beautiful, not hot. That I was smart and able to do anything I wanted. And that included being loved.

But to me, love just wasn't there. And it had never been there. It hadn't. Not like the coked and the alcohol. The weed, the sex, the ecstasy. That was all there for me when I was feeling lonely.

And where was love?

Right fucking in front of you, bitch. My conscience thought. And it was true. The reason I thought love didn't exist was because I didn't know how to love. I knew how to fuck and be fucked, but not loved. And Edward showed me that all the time.

He very seldom bought me things. And when he did buy them, they were extravagant like the gifts Rose and Alice got. And that was good. Because it wasn't like he was trying to buy my love. A charm for my bracelet here. A necklace there. Lip gloss I loved but ran out of. New shirt that was the same one I lost.

I wasn't gold digging whore, but I loved it when he did that for me. It made me look at him in a different light. A light that I could see from miles away. And even though I didn't know what the feeling was, I felt it and it was amazing.

And as I sat on Edward's lap, straddling his waist, I realized that I loved him. It had everything to do with my life and not him. But I loved him.

"Edward?" I said softly. I climbed off of him, pulling him up and taking him to his bedroom.

"What's wrong Bella?" He asked as he was standing completely naked in front of me.

I hesitated for a minute. "Will you do something for me?"

"What?"

"Will you make love to me?" I whispered to him. "Like for real?"

"Make love to you? Why?"

"Because," I said pulling his body to mine so I could hug him. "I love you."

So there. Something happened. I know, it was kind of drastic, and then she wanted to have sex afterwards, but that was only to forget James' touch and remember Edward's.

Okay, I realized that the scene wasn't that intense like I thought it would be. And honestly, I've read much more violent things than this, and I would never write something so completely horrible that my story would get reported. And I gave you guys warnings about three times in the entire chapter, so anything could have been avoided. And again, it wasn't that intense.

Sorry guys that I wrote it, but it's what happened.

So there you are. I hoped you liked.

Please review. I'm not posting another chapter until I get at least ten reviews. And the faster I have those reviews, I'll post.

I love you guys for reading. Love me back with reviews.

Jessie.