Author's note: thank you very much for all your reviews, it's a pleasure to read them.

Chapter Sixteen – Back On Track

"Hey... You! Dammit." Jane cast a glance at the barbecue – bit her lips in hesitation – then sighed before rushing inside the house. "Come back here!"

The cat turned out to be a lot faster than her though and she barely had time to see it jump from the couch to run towards the stairs. Who was the owner? She had never seen a cat in the neighborhood, let alone in the patio.

And – of course – even less in the house.

Maura was going to kill her. She barely accepted Jo Friday's presence upstairs so a cat nobody knew about was a direct no-go.

Jane made it to the first floor a bit breathless. She didn't have much time as she had left two steaks on the barbecue. She passed the closed door of the master bedroom where Maura was having a shower and kept on walking down the corridor.

She didn't like what was going on and not because she feared her wife's reaction but because she knew where the cat had gone and she wasn't ready for it at all.

She didn't have much of a choice though.

Her good mood got swept away by a wave of deep anxiety as soon as she stepped into the room. She hadn't dared to approach it until now. As a matter of fact, she had even managed to put its existence in a dark corner of her mind to the point that she had almost forgotten about it. Or at least until now.

With her eyes fixed on the hardwood floor, Jane walked into the nursery room and took a deep – long – breath.

"Where are you...?"

She spotted the cat on top of the changing table. It was one of the furniture she and Maura had had time to assemble before the accident. Actually and now that she could observe the room, Jane realized that everything was pretty much ready. For weeks they had assumed that they were running out of time when they had actually been ready since the very beginning. She swallowed hard.

Even the bed was made.

Not caring much about the cat anymore, Jane went to sit on the rocking chair. Maura had insisted to buy it. She used to have one herself as a child in her bedroom and she loved the idea of them cuddling with the baby on it.

Sadly her fantasy had been crashed down rather violently.

"Oh!"

Jane jumped out of surprise as the cat came to settle on her lap. The move was very unexpected. The cat didn't know her at all and yet there it was nicely purring on her knees now. She started caressing it absentmindedly.

"Wrong house, buddy. We already have a dog and a tortoise. We're not running a farm in the middle of Boston."

"What is going on?"

Jane looked up only to see Maura walk in wearing nothing but her underwear. She still had her hair tied up in a loose bun from the shower and a few water drops shone on her shoulders. She closed the distance with Jane and squinted her eyes at the cat.

"What have I missed?"

The question made Jane laugh quietly. She shook her head – not knowing what to say – and looked at the cat that was now sleeping on her lap.

"I saw it run inside so I chased it and we ended up here. That's pretty much what you've missed while you were taking a shower."

A peaceful smile played on Maura's lips. She squatted and caressed the cat on top of its head. She was less surprised by the presence of the animal than by the presence of Jane in the nursery room. They didn't speak much about it but she knew how hard it was for Jane to even walk by the door of the room. Being inside of it now was a real challenge for her. A tough one.

"It is a she. This cat is a female. And..." Maura slid the palm of her hand over the cat's stomach. "She is pregnant, actually. She is going to have kittens soon."

"Maybe she's looking for a house then. Maybe she chose us." Jane raised an eyebrow. She wasn't a cat person but she had to admit that the purring was relaxing. "You know, I'd have never imagined I'd miss someone I've never met but..." Her voice broke. She looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath to prevent the tears from falling. "I miss Timothy."

She had never expressed her sorrow as explicitly as Maura had. Everyone had respected her reaction and she appreciated that but being in the nursery room now brought up many feelings to the surface; many feelings she didn't know what to do of.

"I miss him too." Maura sat on the floor by the rocking chair and smiled at Jane. "I think about him every day. That's why I like coming here. There is something soothing about this room. It won't bring him back – nothing will bring him back – but I feel closer to him when I am here."

"You did something to this room, right? I don't remember we'd left it like that. There were plenty of cardboard boxes, you took them out."

Maura nodded. She had taken advantage of her days off to finish the room properly. She didn't like seeing it abandoned. It reminded her too much that life had suddenly got suspended at some point, how it had ached.

"I want a child, Jane. I want to have a child with you." Maura immediately looked down at the floor. It was too early to talk about it, wasn't it? Within three days, they would hit Petunia's due date but there would be no baby. No smiles, no pictures. Nothing. "I'm sorry."

"I want a child too." Jane put her hand on the cat's stomach. She didn't feel anything though. Were there really kittens in there? "Just because it won't be Timothy doesn't mean I've drawn a line under the idea of raising a child with you."

The words rose loud and clear. They wrapped up Maura of a delicate relief. She sat up on her knees to be more or less at eye-level with Jane and bent over to capture her lips in a long kiss.

"We are going to have this baby. I promise you that we will."

...

This is how Clafoutis made it into our lives a few months before you did. It took Jane at least ten years to pronounce her name properly even if she happened to be the one who chose it. Once we realized our steaks had literally burnt on the barbecue that day, I went to bake a cake and decided to go for a French recipe: a cherry cake. They call it "clafoutis".

Jane found the name funny and she liked it enough to name the cat after it.

Petunia's due date hit us hard. We made sure to remain busy on that day but it didn't prevent me from thinking about her and Timothy. We should have become mothers. We should have had a baby. Instead I was standing in a morgue observing a dead body while Jane was investigating a case three floors above.

We were ready for it. We had everything but anyway parenthood has very little to do with being materialistic. We were mature enough and had this love that we wanted to share with our son. Why had he been taken away from us so soon? Why did it have to happen to us? Why? Life can be so unfair at times, so confusing.

I am glad that we had this talk in the nursery room. It put us back on track which was really needed. Many things had occurred within the past few months: the loss of Petunia and Timothy then the different pace in our relationship.

The second point had kept us very busy - in a good way though - but the day Clafoutis made it into our lives, everything had settled down anew and it gave us some time to focus back on our project. We were a real couple now, a married one besides. Just because it had gone wrong once didn't mean that we gave up.

People often say that Jane and I are different but the truth is that we are both very stubborn and ambitious. Determined. We have a lot in common.

It didn't go any further that day than renewing our vows, somehow. But we both needed it if only to know where we stood and why. Things would be different. What kind of couple turned out to be a couple only after getting married? It was strange to think about it. The evolution of our relation wasn't following any traditional scheme. Perhaps it scared me a bit but my feelings were strong enough to win over my insecurities.

Jane was perfect. As a matter of fact, she has always been perfect. I know that I can count on her whenever doubts invade me. I don't even need to speak by then, she can sense it and so she did way back then. She saw that I wasn't doing fine, that I needed to be comforted. She brought me all of this with a rare delicacy.

Mid-July. We waited for mid-July to show up to actually throw ourselves back into the adoption process. We took our time. We knew how it worked, and what we had to do. But we wanted it to go slow, it was reassuring.

We went back to the adoption agency on a very hot day. The air burnt our lungs, it was suffocating. The AC in our car had broken and I was literally melting in spite of wearing a very light – very thin – summer dress. The summer in Boston can be just as hard as the winter is. It was a scorching heat and all we wanted was to go by the sea.

July, 18th. We got to know about you on July, 18th.

Such a sweet day, full of promises.