CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: PAWN SHOP WARS
(In which Emma has an unexpected reunion, Mr. Gold makes a threat, and Aurora's gonna cut you, bitch!)
After pouring all of the alcohol in the apartment down the drain, Emma found herself walking down Main Street. The rain had stopped falling, but it was still bitterly cold, just shy of freezing, and the bite of the temperature felt like deserved punishment. Her attempts to call Henry had all gone to voicemail, her texts unanswered, until she'd finally pinged his phone and found he'd arrived at school. And so setting the latest family mess aside until later, Emma set out for an unnecessary foot patrol, because she just couldn't take being closed up in the station with David for hours, listening to more "Adventures on Night Patrol" and "pearls of wisdom" on how she should be handling her private life. She might have forgiven her parents for Lily and what it did to her, but that didn't mean she'd forgotten it or how that choice colored all of their other advise, particularly where it came to parenting.
And speaking of... The Princess Stroller Brigade was emerging like a pack of giggling hyenas from the baby supplies store across the street... and heading for the crosswalk.
With a jolt of sheer panic, Emma stepped into the first shop she came to, lest Ella or Aurora accost her again to try and set her up on some date so she could get her happy ending in the form of a cute prince and getting in the family way for realsies. That she had ever enjoyed those Tupperware parties her mother threw had to be the syphilis and monkey herpes. Zelena might have been cray cray, but the bitch had pegged them all for being stuck in the fairy tale cliché that women needed men and babies to be happy. Of course, who would have thought a clinically insane woman would be right?
It was only after the door shut that Emma realized she'd ducked into the pawn shop... which she'd also been avoiding since the accident - although, to be fair, she'd been avoiding Gold for a lot longer than that. When he awoke from his coma thing, she'd cried with relief at having proof she could survive being the Dark One, and she had wanted to believe that no matter what, as long as she had that one kernel of love in her heart for Henry, that she would come out of it. But she'd subsequently not talked to Gold about it, because she also knew that she had let the love she had for his son die and was replacing it with love for a man he despised. And because after his "you always make the right choice" speech, she knew that she hadn't, and if she'd gotten her head out of a certain pirate's ass, she could have worked together with Gold instead of further fucking over his son's sacrifice by becoming the Dark One.
Thankfully, when she turned, despite the OPEN sign, Rumplestiltskin was neither behind the counter nor did he emerge from the back room to yell about interruptions. Emma ducked behind a large stack of books as the Princess Posse reached the sidewalk, just in case they saw her and tried to drag her out to Granny's parlor for Mommy & Me class. Only after they passed by did Emma let out a sigh of relief.
"Can I help you?"
Startling at the voice, Emma jumped and knocked over the book stack as she turned to face a lanky kid with dark eyes and shaggy brown hair. He was a couple of inches shorter than Henry, but probably around the same age, give or take a year. Her son had hit some freakish accelerated puberty after they got back to Storybrooke, so he was pretty much "more mature" than all of his classmates, hence, she supposed, hooking up with a slutty older Goth girl.
"Yeah, ah... no... sorry," Emma stammered out, embarrassed and quickly began picking up the books along with the unfamiliar boy that she figured must have taken over when Henry showed no interest in resuming his job after Gold and Belle returned from their second (and longer than one day) honeymoon.
"Were you hiding from those women?"
Emma flushed. Well, now it was even more embarrassing. "What? No, don't be silly. I was just... um... I really needed this book."
"A Thousand and One Uses for Anthropomancy?"
"Ah, yeah," Emma nodded. "I'm really into Anthropomancy."
"So... you sacrifice goats and gut them and use the pattern of their spilled entrails to predict the future?"
Emma decided right then she was going to gut Gold and spill his entrails. Who the hell carried shit like this? She set the book back on the stack. "Okay, Kid, you got me, I was hiding from the Pregnant Princess Pack, okay? They keep trying to peer-pressure me into joining their group by trying to make me feel guilty that I'm not married to some prince and pregnant with a little heir to the throne that I can tote around to pedicures and taco parties even though I'm only recently, ah, widowed and getting over an apparently hysterical pregnancy. But if you don't have a ring on your finger and a bun in the oven, you're not fulfilled as a woman according to that bunch," she scoffed.
"So, they're really all princesses?" the kid asked. "They don't look like princesses."
"Yeah, well, technically I'm a princess. I tried the ball gown and tiara thing a couple of times. It's overrated. I'm sure the lot of them would strut around in the stuff, though, honestly, if Regina hadn't passed a law against regal attire in public on the off chance some outsider gets in and thinks we're all crazy... although, honestly, most of the population here does seem crazy either from the syphilis epidemic or... just... reasons."
She set the last book on the pile. "So, are you... ah... Gold's stock boy? Are you from the Second Curse group or one of the Lost Boys? Honestly, I was kind of preoccupied in Neverland. I'm sorry, you know, if I don't... ah... remember your name..."
"Well, I guess I'm kind of his stock boy if you mean I help keep track of the shop's supplies. But, I'm not a Lost Boy. I'm Rumple...er... Mr. Gold's son. Baelfire."
It took a moment to process and then Emma startled back, knocking the stack of books over again... just as Mr. Gold walked in with a take-away bag from Granny's.
Gold looked between them and then stiffly handed the bag to his son ordering, "Bae, why don't you take this into the back while I talk to Sheriff Swan."
"It wasn't her fault-"
"I'm sure, but we have business to discuss."
Baelfire looked uncertain, but nodded and disappeared through the curtain.
Emma found that her heart was hammering so hard she didn't hear half of what Gold said as he somehow hauled her outside onto the sidewalk.
"That... you... that's... Neal?" Emma croaked out.
"Was Neal," Gold corrected. "He made the choice to become his younger self. As far as he remembers, he drown in the Never Sea and was resurrected with the others, which isn't exactly a lie. It seemed kinder than having to recollect centuries of imprisonment in Neverland, never mind the knowledge that his mother left him for the pirate that you also left him for," he spat.
Emma lurched back again, her gaze falling. "I didn't know that Milah was Neal's mother. And I was sick."
"And we were all possibly suffering from pixie dust hay fever in Neverland, but the fact remains, you stuck your head in the sand... or up your ass. Ignorance is bliss... until it isn't," Gold retorted. "You wanted the bad boy, and now you have to pay the price of that magical love affair."
"But... can't you turn him back? I mean, August-"
"Was a puppet given sentience by magical wood and transformed back into a boy by the Blue Fairy so no one would question his motivations further for August sending Neal away from you. I may not have full proof, but I'm quite sure Pan. The Apprentice, and that blue bug were all behind it in some fashion."
Emma snorted. "Why the hell would they care?"
"Why did The Apprentice make his way to this world to tell Lily all about how her life was ruined because of you? Why did The Blue Fairy trick your parents or send Bae to a world other than the one she promised or exile Tinkerbell to Neverland simply for trying to keep Regina from turning evil? The lot of them have all been trying to destroy the Dark One in some fashion or another for centuries, and this world was the best place to accomplish that. But if you'd stayed with the son of the Dark One... well... things wouldn't have played out according to their plan. And you wouldn't be what you are now. Which is certainly not someone with whom I want my son involved.
"I never liked you," Gold told her coolly, leaning closer. "You are impulsive and hypocritical, just like your parents. And for being all about true love you seem to know absolutely nothing about it. You all spout about your pure hearts, but now that I have one, well, let's just say I can see exactly what you are, and it will take a lot more than penicillin and a tetanus shot to cure what ails you, dearie."
Frowning, Emma demanded, "You were lying, in the The Apprentice's mansion, when you said I always make the right choice, weren't you?"
"I said what you needed to hear to do what I needed you to do," Gold replied with a shrug. "But the truth is, Miss Swan, you've made many terrible decisions - decisions that have hurt my son. If you had truly loved him in the forest that day, instead of harboring bitterness toward him and lust toward your pirate, you might have been able to save his life. If you had cared at all, when you traveled to the past, you would have tried to find a way to undo his death instead of spouting off hypocrisies while taking a stranger into the future. Exactly like your parents when they took that egg, you cared only about yourself, and you can't blame that on a parasites eating your brain. True love can overcome anything... accept your own resistance.
"So, if you care at all about Neal," Gold stated, "you will take that advice you gave back then - you will leave it alone. You will leave Baelfire be."
"And Henry?" Emma asked, voice trembling slightly.
"Well, I can't require you or Regina to keep your son away from Baelfire, but if Henry tries to corrupt my son, I will take action. Is that clear?"
Emma swallowed and nodded. "Crystal."
Gold gave her an almost smile. "We both destroyed our happy endings by taking the easy path. No one has the power to rewrite our mistakes, not even us. We must simply accept our failures and find what solace we can in the wisdom that suffering brings."
With those parting words, Mr. Gold limped back into his shop leaving Emma adrift, faced with the end of a possibly she hadn't even really begun to entertain yet might be possible.
"Oh, Emma!" Aurora chirped, skipping over with her daughter, Rose, in one of those harness things and the kid wearing one of those stupid lacy headbands even though she had no hair... and it wasn't exactly protection against the cold. "You must join us at Granny's! Ella's made up a new song-"
"Yeah, no, I'm busy," Emma uttered, brushing past her.
"But-"
Turning, Emma started coolly, "Look, I'm not one of you, okay? I thought I could be, but it turns out, I don't actually want to be. You're all just... just... stupid and annoying and riddled with herpes!" she exclaimed childishly before stomping off.
Aurora huffed indignantly. "Well, I never! Apparently, I was right from the start. What a rude and unbecoming woman. I suppose I should have known, marrying that pirate."
"I thought you said he was dreamy?" another Princess piped up, walking up to join her.
"Hmm, he did take my heart," Aurora agreed, smiling a little. "And rescued it for me. Very dashing."
After a moment lost in nostalgic thought, she shook her head. "Now, come on, we'll be late meeting up with the others... um... what's your name again?"
"You seriously don't know my name?" the ebony-skinned Princess huffed. "It's Tiana! I've been in your group for three years!"
"Really?"
Tiana glared, shouting, "God, you are all so racist! I don't know why I even bother. Go have your Chardonnay baby name party. I don't need you bougie bitches!" she snarled and then angrily pushed her stroller in the opposite direction.
A passerby gave Aurora a leery look and she pulled the dagger from inside her coat. "Don't make me cut you!" she threatened and the person scurried past.
Patting her daughter's back, the former Sleeping Beauty cooed, "Mommy doesn't want to hurt people, but she has to protect you and our kingdom's interests."
PLOT DISCONTINUITY WARNING: Wait, if Baelfire brought a sack lunch to the Library in the previous chapter, why is he at the Pawn Shop and Rumple is bringing them food from Granny's the same day? Is this one of those episodes where it took Emma an entire day to walk from one side of Main Street to the other? The fuck if I know!
AN: Some snippets of dialogue were inspired by twuwuvdearie's tumblr post "Let's Imagine an Unforgiven Emma" /post/118797225978/lets-imagine-an-unforgiven-emma which seems to no longer be posted there, sadly. I see Aurora as sharing the farm compound beliefs that those who have accepted life in Storybrooke are blasphemers who have turned their back on culture and tradition to accept a cursed existence defined by a horrible magic-less world and she's using Mommy & Me class to try to convert the other princesses. Poor Tiana. As you can tell, I think OUAT is almost blatantly racist at this point, making all the PoC props and plot devices for Whitie... and Regina, but her mommy is so white that together with her ginger-haired, white-as-rice half sister, and the use of "Henry" rather than "Enrique" for Regina's father, I'm pretty sure we're supposed to forget that Regina's got a Spaniard-y dad. Plus, given tiny Hispanic Lily grew up to be a giant of a white woman, sooner or later, Regina ought to age into an old Caucasian lady. At least Hispanic/Latino people on OUAT can grow up to be white people with screentime. Black and Asian characters are killed off or disappear forever.
Next up: Emma FINALLY goes to therapy! It's the double-episode of chapters: tediously long, unnecessarily convoluted, and with questionable editing that makes you wonder, "Did all of that come from one script, or is the writer trying to shoehorn in stuff from somewhere else just to fill air time?"